Malicious compliance in response to weaponized incompetence

[u/snickerdoodlesrule]

Okay, I’m new to the page! I want to hear all of your stories or moments of malicious compliance in marriage.

Mine is when I asked my husband to move money from another shared bank account to our checking for bills. You guessed it, he didn’t move the money. This was the 3rd time that he “forgot about it” and I was tired of asking. I watched our checking account go into the negatives/ with overdraft fees. I confronted him and he said that I didn’t tell him which account, but we only have one main account for both of us to pay bills from. The account is connected to our debit cards!

The next day he went for lunch at chipotle. As he was checking out he realized that he didn’t have cash or money on his debit card. He called me at least 5 times asking me to transfer money, since I was near the bank that day. I did transfer money, but not to the account with the debit card, because he didn’t say which account 😉

We haven’t had any problems with him transferring money, since.

Edit: We share all of our bank accounts. I crunch the numbers and can’t always be responsible for budgeting and going to the bank/ doing transfers!

[u/Shooter61]

Married for 43 years, last 25 with separate bank accounts. Overdrafts are a thing of the past now. We lived check to check in the first 18. Somehow after I made her get an account and I got mine. Overdrafts vanished

[u/DedBirdGonnaPutItOnU → u/Shooter61]

I did the same! The very day she spent our mortgage money I set up two bank accounts. Now she enjoys buying groceries and stuff for the kids and spending her money and I enjoy saving my money and making sure the bills are paid.

It's not a "him" vs "her" thing either. It's more of a "spender" vs "saver" thing because my son is married and he's the one who constantly overdrafts while his wife is trying to make sure the bills are paid.

[u/Novel-Sock → u/DedBirdGonnaPutItOnU]

We do this too. I’m the spender, he’s the saver. I asked him to put me on a budget and limit my access to the main funds because it will never, ever work out well. This alone dropped the stress level in our marriage more than anything else.