r/MurderedByWords • u/james_dykeson • Aug 05 '19

Murder Murdered by numbers?

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122.9k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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5.3k

u/kiaeej Aug 05 '19

Yes. Yes. Its the evil games we play.

Not to mention why all the shooters were breathing oxygen. Must be the oxygen that made them violent.

1.4k

u/willemreddit Aug 05 '19

There is also talk he might have drank milk.

538

u/iNovarc Aug 05 '19

Actually I think you might be right. Served with a side of cookies is the #1 sign of a mass murderer plotting his evil plans.

209

u/elhermanobrother Aug 05 '19

once he had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet

....but only for like 20 seconds

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

I love how here we can all reasonably agree that there is no absolute correlation between video games played increasing ones capacity to murder. However, if we shmooze on over to r/politics somehow supporting one side or the other suddenly makes you the most extreme believer in all things all the crazies associated with that side believe. Love reddit

139

u/sssnakepit127 Aug 05 '19

100% of the shooters had eyes.

Eyeballs should be illegal

7

u/Cummy_Boner Aug 05 '19

100% of the shooters had tiny fucked up purple dicks.

Tiny fucked up purple dicks should be illegal.

4

u/123allthekidsbullyme Aug 05 '19

They already are

38

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

Santa? Why do you have a knife?

1

u/ScravoNavarre Aug 05 '19

Santa uses an old German Luger.

3

u/Bigbadbobbyc Aug 05 '19

Yep he used to to put down dancer and prancer

1

u/Nolsoth Aug 05 '19

And that's why we are having reindeer for dinner tonight kids.

2

u/cilliebarnes Aug 05 '19

If you give a mouse a cookie .. he’s gonna want a glass of milk.. fast forward to #therestoftheowl and you have a bajillion white dude weirdos upset their not getting laid which sounds like a punchline except it’s not . Oh! And they’re also racist ! Great! And post their manifestos ... so great! And then shoot up a bunch of people at I dunno , children’s school yards, garlic festivals , movie theatres... music festivals , worship houses , fucking marathons . I hate these dicks. It is our moral responsibility as non dicks .. if we know a dick like this, fucking figure out what’s going on with him and try to be there in some way. ❤️

1

u/cdwags72 Aug 05 '19

Santa must be public enemy number one then

1

u/ChillKage555 Aug 05 '19

Stewie voice Looks like Santa’s getting a surprise in his cookies this year... of DEATH!

1

u/trex90 Aug 05 '19

Santa?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

*looks at her milk, bloody axe and cookies* How did you know?

1

u/Taograd359 Aug 05 '19

Santa must be history's greatest monster...

1

u/TennaNBloc Aug 05 '19

What if I eat a whole package of cookies in one sitting?

1

u/Pinkheartfox Aug 05 '19

til i’m really a horrible milk drinker

1

u/JohnnyRocca Aug 05 '19

Santa.... No...

1

u/dyslexicautism Aug 05 '19

S-s-s-santa?

1

u/atownstaydown86 Aug 05 '19

Santa is suspect then

1

u/DrMeepster Aug 05 '19

Is that why noone ever sees santa?