Im going to say everything that is inside my heart and please tell me if i should delete my post or not because i think its bad to reveal my sins.

In the past i used fap, watch the hub and do one more thing which im not saying from how bad it is. One day, my aunt and her family came from saudi (i havent seen them since i was 9) and i really really love them from how good and pure hearted the are. My dream was to always be as pure as them, but my past ruined it and im not even close to them. Anyways, my cousin came and i really liked her. The last time ive seen her was when she was 8 and when i saw her now, i just flipped. This was 6 months ago, and ever since ive seen her i stopped fapping or entering the hub, but i still feel guilty from what i did.

Another thing that i used to do is texting. There is an app called Discord and in this app there are many bots. One of those bots is called “User-Phone” which connects you to other users in this app and you could talk to them. Everytime i was bored, i used to enter and start talking to people. From my bad luck, i used to get girls and i think you see where this is going. I used to say alot of bad stuff (i think you know), but no because i really mean it, it’s because im just bored and just messing around. One day, my mother woke me up and said she wanted to talk to me, so i went to her and started shaking from what she told me. She told me she found out about the messages in Discord. I didnt know what to say, and btw the messages were old too. Now i really want to know why wasnt this sin hidden? Im happy that the above one was hidden, but why wasnt this hidden too? After she found out, i felt verry guilty and kept thinking what would alll my family think if they found out too? They all think im that pure hearted boy that doesnt say or do bad things, but my mom now knows otherwise. Please i really need help. I feel like the only way for me is to stop feeling guilt is to tell my whole family and future wife which i think i dont deserve from what i did and she will probably think the same as my family that im pure.

Knowimg its a sin but i relapsed i feel extreme guilt now what to do i feel like im a bad servant i shouldnt had done it i couldnt hold myself please tell me what to d

44 days without release I never been so, strong before, and feel no desire to ever do it again. The goal is with Gods help 1 year anniversary. I Always thought i could never live without. But God is great alhamduilah. Everyone can do it. Believe in yourself.

If you leave something haram for the sake of Allah, Allah will replace it with something much better. Always remind yourself that the compensation of Allah is much much better than the disobedience of Allah

Moved from r/Islam to here.

This is a rant and a cry for help from men. I'm writing this on a throwaway account for obvious reasons. I would advise only men to read the post and only men to engage and help me with it. I really want the mods to not delete this because I need to get this off my chest.

Reading this, it might be obvious where this issue is going. Pornography use has destroyed me. It has broken my perception of reality, and this is what transgressing the boundaries set by Allah has done to me.

For context, I'm a fairly "good" Muslim. I pray consistently and even frequent the Masjid. I advise people to abstain from bad deeds and have been straying away from talking to women (which I used to do before). But my pornography use has been growing worse for years. I would tell myself I can "stop it anytime I want", and "be free from it once and for all", but who was I kidding? It was so bad that it was almost a daily habit to look at any type of pornography material. But little did I know that it was destroying my essence and what I was. Slowly, the genre I viewed started getting more obscene and adamant. This shift was so slow that it was just another day in pornography for me.

Now I don't want to go in exact details of what and how, but it felt that I was attracted to transgender women to a certain degree. I would watch said videos to confirm it, and fortunately, it was not true. Some time later, after using porn in even Ramadan, the last week of it hit me hard. My mind diverted to a transsexual individual itself and a sort of instinct took over, as if it was what I wanted. I knew I didn't. I was devastated. Broken. My solution? Again seek out transexual porn to confirm it, and to certain degree, it was true. I was shook. I was destroyed. At that moment, my mind took over in the worst way. Every female individual I saw on the street or anywhere, it would automatically fill in the gap of their private parts from being what transsexuals have. My mind would create images of my class fellows who I used to engage with quite frequently and their was a notable difference between stimulus.

Now, after all this, my mind just hits a blank (usually) when thinking about a traditional women. There are high and lows. One time, I want a wife to a certain extent, but then automatically a throught pierces me and replaces that "image" with what I stated above. The worst part was that it seemed like I wanted that exact thing (the male private part). Now, all my mind does in any free time is fill in the gap with homosexual and transsexual thoughts, and it feels as if it is what I want. I don't. Just one day before in Ramadan when this shift took over, I knew exactly what I wanted. But now? It feels as if it's a distant memory. A forgotten younger brother. It is driving me crazy. I don't find those images and thoughts I have as filthy. I need help. Please, ya Allah, fix me. Please, anyone who has any advice, or has had a similar experience, please, help me.

Ya Allah, please. I beg of you.

With this post made, I feel so distant to Allah. As if He can't fix my problem. As if I've been changed forever. I've read and heard similar stories about how people changed for the better. But this feels impossible. Its a huge dynamic, as if I want a normal women and then an individual transgressing the folds of Islam with me.

Ya Allah.

• As of writing, I feel better and more confident in natural urges. Alhamduliliah, I am getting better and will be great by the Grace of Allah.

I am trying nofap and I am struggling. I am 17f, feel very alone in this journey. I have been feeling bad about failing so much. I would like to have some support and prayers. Would love to find an accountability partner.

Assalamu alaikum everyone, I hope y’all are doing good. So basically I have stopped porn and masterbating for about 1 yr and a month now all thanks to allah for giving me the power and discipline to do so. But lately I have been REALLY struggling with sexual urges/thoughts to the pt where sometime I get a headache trying to suppress them. Now ik masterbating AINT the solution, and that’s exactly why I don’t plan on ever falling into that addiction again Inshaallah. I just wanna know if it’s normal to still struggle after a yr of stopping cuz I’ve seen ppl that say “it gets easier after 3-5 amount of months”. I didn’t really get that, however Wut I can say is that u personally get used to the struggle and maybe u start learning how to deal with it after 5ish months (sometimes it’ll be super tough tho💀) what do y’all think?

And to everyone reading dis: May Allah turn all ur hardships into ease and accept all your duas ya rab, assalamu alaikum.

“And give good tidings to those who believe and do righteous deeds that they will have gardens beneath which rivers flow. Whenever they are provided with a provision of fruit therefrom, they will say, ‘This is what we were provided with before.’ And they will be given things in resemblance. And they will have therein purified spouses, and they will abide therein eternally.” — [Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:25]

Our goal in this dunya is to do good deeds and stay away from what Allah has forbidden — and in return, we strive for the ultimate reward: everlasting gardens in paradise.

But brothers and sisters, this path is not easy. Many of us are struggling with an addiction that feels overwhelming at times. It’s a heavy test, and we must acknowledge that.

However, the reward for enduring hardship is directly tied to the level of difficulty we face. And let’s be real — breaking free from this addiction is very difficult. But that only means the reward is that much greater, insha’Allah.

So let us keep striving. Let us be patient. Let us fight our nafs and remain strong in the face of temptation. Through sabr and this personal jihad, Allah will reward us immensely, bi’ithnillah.

Stay strong, stay consistent, and don’t give up.

Jannah is worth it.

4 months ago, I was fighting hard, no matter how hard the urge was, I'd stay up all night if I had to, the drive to become a better muslim and earn jannah was very strong. I'd be doing wudu with ice cold water, getting up out of bed in the middle of the night to do ice cold wudu and then nafl, I wanted to quit very badly.

But now, I'm relapsing every other day, i literally just came out of the shower from a relapse. I still want to quit, but the drive isn't there anymore. How do I replenish the drive to improve?

When I left p*rn, my life changed for good.

I finally felt like I had found that drive and hunger for life again, the kind where I would wake up every single day excited to pursue the things that truly mattered to me.

But I still remembered how, back then, a lot of people would say things like:
"Watching p\rn is natural. You're just doing it to sexually relieve yourself because of your hormones..."*

I hated hearing that.
Because it made quitting feel nearly impossible, like I was going against something that was just "human nature."

But here's the reality:

Watching p*rn might be normal, because a lot of people do it.
But it can’t be natural and here’s why.

If someone believes that watching p*rn is simply a way to satisfy an innate desire for real intercourse…
Then why don’t we watch videos of people eating food to satisfy our hunger?

We don’t.
Because we know that watching someone else eat won’t do anything to actually fulfill our need.
It’s just a video, it doesn’t feed us.

In the same way, humans weren’t designed to watch others have sex in order to feel fulfilled.
We don’t reproduce by sitting alone, watching strangers on a screen, and tricking our minds into thinking that’s real intimacy.

People watch p*rn to chase illusionary pleasure, emotional relief, and artificial sexual satisfaction.
But the truth is , it’s all just mental stimulation, a fantasy we create in our mind.

And once you stop, you begin to realize just how empty PMO really is.

That’s why it can never be called natural.

Make accountability partner required to motivate each other and track progress. Preferably around same age 30- 40 years old and mature. Would prefer to connect on Discord or Telegram but WhatsApp is fine too.

Asalamu alaykum wa rahmatulllahi wa barakatuhu,

Alhamdulillah as part of my ongoing commitment to helping others and as part of my daily reminder series, I have been reading a lot of beneficial quotes and hadiths Alhamdulillah.

I thought I would share the following quote from Imam Ghazali (may Allah SWT be pleased with him) as it may help you when you are struggling:

"Do not let one relapse make you give up on the journey to Allah."

Imam Ghazali

insha'Allah, whatever you're going through may Allah SWT make it easier for you and insha'Allah you find this reminder beneficial

Links:

YouTube

TikTok

Instagram

I literally can’t seem to stop.

I try for about 2-3 days and when I see any graphic content I just want to give in. Then I’m back to square one and I feel like I can try again now it’s out of my system then it’s the same cycle.

Female - 20s

M16.

The first time I did the bad touching thing is now about 8 months ago, and ever since then I’ve been trying to stop. I tried again and again and again but failed every time. At this point I really don’t even know what to do anymore but I still need to stop this addiction asap. It got to the point that when I do it now I’m fully aware of what I’m doing and the consequences of it but somehow I still end up doing it. And the content I watch becomes more extreme every week or so, and I’m really scared of where I’ll end up if I don’t stop this.

Please I just ask you to make dua for me Because I don’t want to end up having this addiction when I’m 20+ and struggling to find a wife.

May Allah bless you all

PLEASE SPARE SOME TIME AND READ
Assalam o Alaikum
I wanted to share my experience and struggle with this disgusting habit and wanted some help.
I'm 25 years old and I don't think I can even pinpoint a time in my life where I didn't watch porn every now and then since I was around 14.
Having said that, it was never an addiction. I was far from deen all my life and I started to get closer to my deen around the age of 19/20 when I moved out for uni and I started to study islam and watch lectures and podcasts and read books. I left music completely and I was someone who was absolutely addicted to music. I have a really good voice and singing and music was like a big part of me but Allhamdulilah with the help of Allah, I was able to leave it for good and not just leave it, I replaced it with the Qur'an and as I started to listen to the Qur'an, I memorized various surahs and Qur'an replaced that random humming of music in my head and I started to humm the verses of the Qur'an I had been listening to instead.
I actively began to bring about changed in my life. My relationship with my mother improved, I became a better brother, a better son, I started to call out the haram even when the boys at uni did it.
I deleted every single social media app I had and didn't talk to a single girl I did interact with them at uni to an extent and I knew I had the urge to do so and the need to get their attention but I took all the steps to avoid that on social media and I only had whatsapp.
The problem of watching porn however, it continued. I tried many things. I put up pieces of paper in my room with various things written on it like "Allah is watching" "Don't give in to your nafs" and ayaat of the Qur'an and it worked for a few days but then I found myself actually removing those papers that I tapped to the wall as the urge hit and then watching porn
I made a daily checklist for myself with various things on it such as
12 Sunnahs with all the prayers ?
Duha ?
Tahajjud ?
How many verses memorized ?
How many verses understood ?
Recitation of the Qur'an ?
Advised anyone ? or Discussed good things ?
Watched a lecture ?
Adhkar for night and morning ?
Less time wasted than yesterday ?
And for a while this list was ALL ticks Allhamdulilah I had a good community at the city I was in at the time and I went to the masjid everyday for the memorization
I started doing the adhaan at the masjid as I mentioned I have a good voice
I started a tiktok page of my recitation and reminders
I studied linguistic tafseer of the Qur'an
All of these habits however didn't last
There was a period of 6 full months where I didn't engage in this haram
Then I finished uni there and moved to London and got a job
2 days in, I fell into the haram again
Since then (September) I haven't been able to without it for more than a week
Ramadan just finished and I didn't even get the urge to do this haram throughout the full month Allhamdulilah
But including today, the last 3 days I have fall into this sin

Here is my main concern.
Everytime I get the urge to do the haram, no matter what islamic thoughts come to my head or any good thoughts, it's like my brain completely ignores it or has this ability to not feel no guilt at that moment
But the moment the haram is done, I feel the worst type of guilt I cry to Allah and I make sincere genuine promises to Allah and it genuinely feels like I will actually never fall into this but it happens again
The cycle has continues for so long
And what scares me is that I'm someone who prays 5 times, listens to the Qur'an, leads salah at work, studies islam and does his best to teach others islam, doesn't listen to music, lowers his gaze outside in public, doesn't have females on socials and doesn't shake hands with females at work, I give a lot of charity and I have a soft spot for helping those in need. I post islamic content on tiktok (Without showing my face) and my recitation and the tafseer that I learn, I then post snippets of it
Allah has also been extremely generous to me and I always feel like the way He has opened countless doors for me, He loves me Like if I began to explain everything He has done for me, I wouldn't stop talking for hours
And most people thing that I'm some very righteous person
BUT BUT BUT, They are wrong because I still have this filthy disgusting habit
So I'm scared that all of my good deeds are going to waste because I'm now questioning my sincerity because if my deeds had ikhlaas and khushu' then wouldn't it all help me leave this habit for good ?

I also think that me living alone is the BIGGEST factor in all this. I'm not social I don't have any friends that o socialize with I stay home all day apart from work
And I live in a studio too so pretty much all day in bed
I haven't been able to go to the gym in a long time because when I left gym because there's too many girls dressed inappropriately
But this urge to do haram, I never get it outside or anywhere else EVER. Only when I'm by myself in my bed especially when I just woke up from a nap in the evening

Also, something important is that I feel extremely guilty not just for transgressing against Allah's boundaries but for the woman I will marry in the future because how can I look for a pure woman when I myself do this haram act ? And having done thing for so long, even if I manage to leave it, what if it impairs my sexual ability when I'm married ?
Because one thing that I think I need to mention is that my habit used to just be porn, then it became live streams on apps like tango and actually spending money on those apps or even various discord servers in exchange for conversations or videos because it wasn't so much the content that I wanted, it was the interaction.
I managed to leave it completely for 6 months as I mentioned but then it started again in September and then I left it fully in Ramadan again and the relapse in the last 3 days, it has only been watching the haram and no interactions or payments which ofcourse is still disgusting but one less bad thing

So what I really desperately need is an accountability partner to check up on me every single day
Because just trying to fix the routine myself, I relapse again n again
I need an external interference who keeps me in check
Any other advice would also be appreciated because I am fed up and I'm done wasting my life and giving in to shaytaan every single time
Please Help!

I am going down and down with noway😢, everynight i read posts about how to leave porn and read quran and pray and i do exercises in the morning and i am busy, but the problem is i am alone with nobody and cant sleep, after a very hard struggling i relapse, i am nut putting the phone near me but after struggling i take it, do not know what is the secret of how to stop that, i have a very long streak (+150 days) in the past, but 5 months ago i relapsed and unfortunately i am watching more po*n videos than before, now i am mastrubaiting like 4 times in the week, please help me, i pray all my salawat (most of them in the mosque) but also noway 💔💔💔

Al Salamu Alaykum

Here is a story that can help one see how the Shaytan utilizes small steps to critically harm mankind.

: Source : Quoted in ibn al-Jauzi, Talbees Iblees, p.39
“And he swore unto them (saying): Lo! I am a sincere adviser unto you” (al-Araaf 21).
Wahb ibn Munabbih has related the following lengthy story from the people of the book.” We present it here to show the way of Shaytan in his attempt to mislead mankind. The story warns humans about Shaytan”s “sincere advice”.

One must oppose the thing that Shaytan is calling to. Wahb said, There was a pious worshipper of the tribe of Israel. He was the most pious person of his time. During his time, there were three brothers who had a sister. She was a virgin. And they had no sister other than her. They were all about to leave the town to go to war. They did not know with whom to leave their sister and who they could trust to look after her. They all agreed to leave her with that pious person. They all trusted him. They went to him and asked if they could leave her with him. She would be in the building next to him until they return from the fighting. He refused their request and sought refuge in Allah from them and their sister. They persisted until he finally acquiesced. He said, “Put her in the house next to my place of worship.” So they put her in that house and they left, leaving her there. She remained living next to that pious person for some time. He would put food for her in front of his building of worship. Then he would lock the door and return to his place of worship. He would then tell her to come out of her house and take the food. Then Shytan approached him softly. He encouraged him to treat her kindly. He told him that it was not good to make the woman come out of her house during the day as someone may come upon her. If he took the food directly to her door that would mean a greater reward for him.

He continued for some time to go to her door and place the food at the front of her door without speaking to her. Then Iblees came again and encouraged him to do good and get more reward. He said, “If you took her the food and placed it in the house for her, you would get a greater reward.” He continued to encourage him. So he started to take the food into her house. He continued like that for some time.

Then Shaytan came again and again encouraged him to do good. He said, “If you talk to her for a while she will be put to ease by your conversation as she is in a state of fear and she is all alone.” He then started talking to her from atop his place of worship.

Then Shaytan came again. He said, “If you were to come down and talk to her while she sits at her door and talks to you, that would be even more comforting for her.” He continued to encourage him until he came down and sat at his door and would talk to her. The girl would come out of her building and sit at her door and they would talk for a while.

Then Shaytan came again and encouraged him to get great rewards for treating her well. He said, “If you were to go from the door of your place of worship and sit close to her door, that would be even more comforting for her.” He continued exhorting him until he did so. He continued that act for a while. Then Iblees came again. This time he said, “If you enter her house and talk to her, and not make her show her face in public it would be even better for you.” He continued exhorting him until he entered her house and spent the whole day talking to her. Then when night fell, he returned to his place of worship.
Then Shaytan came to him after that and continued to make her more appealing to him. Until the worshipper got upon her and kissed her. And Iblees continued to make her look nice in his eyes and desire her until he finally had sex with her. She got pregnant and gave birth to a boy. Then Iblees came and told the worshipper, “Do you not realize what the brothers of the girl will do to you when they see she has given birth to your son” You will not be safe if your matter becomes clear. You should go to the boy and kill it and bury it, that way you can conceal your affair and they will not do anything to you for what you did to her.” Then he said to him, “Do you think she will conceal from her brothers what you did to her and your killing of her son. Take her, kill her and bury her with her son.” He continued spurring him on until he killed her and threw her in the ditch with her son. Then he put a large rock over them and leveled it.

Then he returned to his place of worship and worshipped therein. He stayed in that state for as long as Allah willed until the brothers came back from the fighting. They came to him and asked him about their sister. He mourned her loss and started to cry. He said, “She was the best of women and that is her grave.” The brothers came to the grave and cried over their sister and asked Allah to have mercy on her. They stayed at her grave for a few days and then went to their families. When the night overtook them and they went to their beds, Shaytan came to them in their sleep in the form of a traveler. He started with the eldest and asked him about their sister. The brother told him what the pious man had stated and how they were shown her grave. Shaytan told him that the pious man had lied. He said, “He did not tell you the truth about your sister. He got her pregnant and she had his son and then he killed and buried her out of fear of you. Then he threw them in a ditch he dug behind the door of the house she was staying in, to the right of the entrance. Go and enter the house in which she stayed and on the right of the entrance you will find everything I told you about.” Then he went to the middle brother and did the same. Then he went to the youngest brother and did the same. When they woke, they were all surprised at what they had seen. When they met each other, they all said, “I saw an amazing thing last night,” and they informed each other of what they had seen.

The eldest said, “That dream has nothing to it so just ignore it.” The youngest said, “I will not leave it until I go and look at that place.” They all went until they reached the door of the place where there sister stayed. They opened the door and looked for the place that was described to them in their dreams. They found their sister and her son buried in a ditch, as they were told. They asked the worshipper about it and he confirmed what Iblees had told them. They then took him and were about to crucify him. When they had him on the wooden cross, Shaytan said to him, “You know that I am your companion who tempted you by the woman until you got her pregnant and you killed her and her son. If you obey me today and deny Allah, who formed and shaped you, I will rescue you from your predicament.” The worshipper then belied Allah. When he belied Allah, Shaytan left from being between him and the others and they were able to crucify him.”
Many scholars related this story in their commentary to the following verse,
“Or the likeness of Shaytan when he tells man to disbelieve, then, when he disbelieves, says to him, “Lo! I am innocent of you. Lo! I fear Allah, the Lord of the Worlds” ” (Surah al-Hasr 16).They mention that this verse refers to this worshipper and to others similar to him. Allah knows best.

This story, and others similar to it, are from the Israaeeliyaat or stories which have their source in the books or tales of the Jews and Christians. We do not say it is true nor do we say it is false, but it is allowed to narrate them as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Narrate stories about the Tribe of Israel if there is no harm in that.

Hello everyone. Im a revert to Islam as someone who was, unfortunately, sexually active before Islam, I resorted to fapping after accepting Islam. I know it’s haram and want to stop. Accountability partner needed male or female preferably male

IGNORE MY USERNAME!! IF I CAN TURN AROUND AND REPENT ANYBODY CAN!! 90 days..missed only 10 tahajjuds, using Miswak regularly, wearing my trousers above ankle, grown my beard, started zikr, and have been increasing it daily. Alhamdulillah ( Say Masha allah) . Also started skincare lol.

My journey to becoming a better muslim. Long read but PLEASE read it all. I want as many people to understand and benefit from it. May allah forgive me if I sound more pious than I am. I am not. I'm a big dinner but I have a few points to state.

1) Don't wait for a fresh day or a new month or year. Repent on the spot!!!! You could die any moment, HECK you could die while committing that Sin!! Your bad deeds aren't immediately written in our account when we committ them. There's a time period within which if you repent, you're as clean as good provided it's SINCERE regret and repentance!!

2) You'll never succeed without Allah!!! I can't even begin to put into words how Allah opens doors when you are mindful of him. Wallah it makes me cry now 😭😭 I've had my log books signed before everyone even tho it was incomplete. I've had my professors overlook my mistakes even after pointing it out to me when I've started being mindful of Allah. Keep making Astaghfar constantly!!!

3) Keep your private life pious and Allah will make your public life victorious. The dua that helped me do this is - YA MUQALLIBUL QULOOB THABBIT QALBI ALA DEENIK( O Turned of hearts, keep my heart steadfast in your religion)

4) Stop all haram stuff. I would humm songs all day, and other sins which I don't wanna list.. When I started this, every time I sang, I used to follow it with astaghfar. I still do but it's so much lesss!!! Wallah it strengthens your imaan and needless to point out.. LOWER YOUR DAMN GAZE 😭 The heart can't feel what the eyes can't seeee. Remember we're gonna have to face Allah SWT with these eyes.

5) I've alhamdulillah never missed any Salahs since 7 ( just qaza if I miss it) so I don't have much to offer here but will definitely say. Offer Salah!!! That's the first thing you'll be held accountable for. But what helped me level up is understanding what I was reciting. I just learnt the meaning of 4 extra surah apart from Surah Fatiha and the meaning of everything we recite in namaz and I swear it's a game changer.

6) Start quran only this time with meanings and tafsir!!! I swear it's gonna melt your heart like a candle melts in fire. Allah is so merciful 😭😭 and the ultimate truth..

7) Fix a night routine and make sincere intentions for tahajjud.!! Skincare, wudu, last 3 surahs, last 2 ayats of surah baqarah, tasbih fatima, ayat al kursi and surah mulk after isha. Doesn't even take 10 min guys and when you wake up for tahajjud , don't just ask Allah for things thank him for calling you. Remember, tahajjud is the only namaz offered over the azaan of the heart ❤❤

8) Learn deeen!!!! And duas. I've improved so much learning new duas and hadiths and what not. I don't have a way to post it via google Drive and I can't upload so many here. But what I decided instead is to start a whatsap channel (https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Vb5wpkjBfxo7stXabr0h and subreddit ( in my profile) where I'm gonna post daily reminder n duas n hadiths.. Do not hit follow or upvote it if u think this is a promotion but please at least read it and share it with anyone who's willing to make small daily changes.. Islam is so beautiful. Wallah I cry now about how merciful Allah has been to me even while sinning. Please remember me and my family in your duas. We're going through extremely trying times.

Jazakallahkhair

Recitation after Maghrib and Fajr Salah 10 times

The Prophet PBUH said: "Whoever says at the end of every Fajr prayer, while his feet are still folded, before speaking: 'None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, Alone without partner, to Him belongs all that exists, and to Him is the praise, He gives life and causes death, and He is powerful over all things, (La llaha ilallah, Wahdahu La Sharika Lahu, Lahul- Mulku Wa Lahul-Hamdu, Yuhyi Wa Yumitu, Wa Huwa 'Ala Kulli Shai'in Qadir)' ten times, then ten good deeds shall be written for him, ten evil deeds shall be wiped away from him, ten degrees shall be raised up for him, and he shall be in security all that day from every disliked thing, and he shall be in protection from Shaitãn, and no sin will meet him or destroy him that day, except for associating partners with Allah” [Tirmidhi 3474, Hasan by Zubair Ali and Albani. Another narration has the wordings "After Salah Maghrib and Morning" Musnad Ahmad 17990 and Sahih Targheeb 477, Hasan Lighairih by Al Aranout and Albani]

so i was 45 days clean and went the entirety of ramadan without relapsing, but i relapsed on the night of eid and just a few minutes ago. i realize now that i have been waiting for my friends to game with me but they were not responding so i did it out of boredom. i dont know what im looking for with this post, i found the problem, but i dont know how to fix it. any advice?

I've been really struggling to hold things together post Eid. I've managed to get this far but I'm afraid things are getting harder and my urges aren't helping at all. I could really do with an accountability partner to help me through this.

I didn't do it (pmo) at in all in Ramadan. I was so happy. Even I didn't think to do it or have struggle feelings to do it. But now I have those feelings again since this morning when I woke up. I'm sad to have this feeling again but I'm trying to not do it.

Masturbation has destroyed my life. I've been battling with it for over 12 years (I am 25) and can't get rid of it. I don't know what to do anymore. Every time I repent I have the hope to get rid of it for good. Sometimes I stop for several days, weeks, or even months, but it always comes back.

You may think that I am suicidal, but no, I just feel empty, not even depressed or sad. I've laughed like a crazy dude after my last relapse, knowing that I am shackled to it for the rest of my life; really felt like the joker and that movie hah.

I have dreams too, and can't get them achieved because of this, I want to get married, have a loving muslim wife and kids, but every time I get motivated for several weeks, shaytan takes advantage of my weak moments to make me go back to this sh*tty deed.

I haven't prayed at all in the past two days, and I don't even feel guilty, even though I have knowledge I am doing a huge sin, my heart feels empty, and this sin is the root cause of it.

Subhana Llah, am I condemned ? I see all my friends striving and approaching their goals, while I am fat, stinky, and can't get anything done in my life, although I work and will graduate soon in sha Allah. I am afraid I'll ruin everything because of this.

Wallahi this is funny, I feel like I might go crazy if I never stop it, I can feel the repercussions on my social interactions, my life, health, mind.

And the worst is that I know I have the potential to be a great guy and moreover a great muslim. I know I can become more than just "this". I want to take control of my life rather than being controlled by it.

I also wanna get married, and tried to. I met a nice, pious muslim girl in the muslim marriage sub in the end of last year, and we exchanged for about a week respectfully, and I had the best niyaa to involve my parents and go speak to her walii since we were from the same country. Everything was going smoothly and we shared every single value and had the same principles, until she asked for a photo.

I instantly got rejected, but may Allah reward the sister, she said it in a respectful way and wished me the best. I felt empty for like an hour after our last interaction. then I cried like I never cried. I let everything come out, wallahi the tear were flooding, and all that came out of my mouth was "alhamduli Llah". And deep down, I knex it would've ended like this.

Funnily enough, this interaction left me motivated to change for the best to have more chances in seducing a girl (not saying it unrespectfully, I respect all muslim girls and have no female friends).

So I decided to definitely stop masturbation. I've lasted 50 days until the urges came back (I've started from the first time she messaged me), so even that didn't suffize.

Well I don't know why I've told that story ahah, but I guess I had to let it come out.

After that, I joined a masturbation healing discord server to have some tips, and I tried everything, like cold turkey or parental control, but this of course didn't suffise.

Even though I said all this, I don't lose hope in the Allah's ability to guide me and make me stop this sin for good. I just don't know what to do anymore, I prayed everyday in the last third of the night in the masjid (like 8 times) during the last 10 days of ramadan, and even before, I made stopping this sin my goal during this month and made lots and lots of duaas.

But I relapsed tree days after Ramadan. Is there a wisdom in this that I don't see ? Or am I just a bad person who'll end up in jahannam ? I am afraid of losing my faith, and stoping prayer is a step to it. Please don't remind me of the gravity of stopping prayer I have the necessary knowledge to know it a a horrendous sin, and that the difference between muslims and kuffar is salah. I don't even know what I am looking for with this post. Maybe advice ? From someone who stopped this sin ? idk. Please help a struggling brother. Allah gave me so much in this life yet I can't get my self to thank Him by stopping to fap.

Assalamualaikum wrwb, I have three brothers who are with me in an anonymous group chat on the app called Signal. I think, for those who want to avoid social media altogether but still have an accountability group, this would be particularly useful. If you find yourself wanting to delete Reddit, Discord, or Telegram to aid in your recovery journey because those apps can drain time and/or have NSFW, triggering content on them, and you just want a bare bones accountability group that you can message, then this is the group for you!

Let me know if you are interested.