Backstory: Hey everyone,

I’m a 21-year-old Muslim woman, and today marks Day 1 of my NoFap journey. Honestly, I didn’t even know what NoFap stood for until recently, which just goes to show how deep I was in this without even realizing.

I’m writing this because we’re in the last 10 days of Ramadan, and I feel like Allah inspired me to share my story. Maybe this will help someone out there, especially other young women like me, to know you’re not alone in this struggle.

Why is this hard for me to talk about? Well, I could write a whole book about it, but I’ll try to keep it short.

1. The Struggle with Ḥayā (Modesty)

I know some people might say, “What ḥayā (modesty) are you talking about if you watch porn?” And to be honest, I don’t know how to answer that. But I do know that I feel ashamed. This isn’t something you can proudly discuss with friends.

It’s not just because I’m Middle Eastern or because it’s haram—even guys talk about it openly. But for me, I never really did. The only time I posted about it was once on Reddit.

I was first exposed to this in a really weird way. I think I was in 4th grade when I overheard my mom and aunt talking about something called a “sex tape”. As a kid, I didn’t pay much attention.

Then one day, I was using my dad’s new phone and saw the cute bird icon (Twitter). I clicked on it, and that’s when I saw things I wasn’t supposed to. It felt strange and scary.

At the time, I vaguely remembered seeing an NSFW ad or maybe even searching up what my mom and aunt had mentioned. I don’t recall the exact order of events, but I became addicted.

Then, out of nowhere, something even worse hit me. I suddenly remembered that I had been sexually abused by a neighbor—someone 10 to 15 years older than me. I had buried that memory, but everything started to connect when I was in 8th grade.

I was already trying to pray and get closer to Allah, even before knowing that watching porn was a sin. But I couldn’t stop. And what made it worse was that I had also started masturbating at the time.

My parents were always working, so I was very independent—handling my homework, taking care of myself, doing chores, and helping around the house. Maybe I just wanted their attention, but I didn’t even realize it at the time.

The more I learned about Islam, the more ashamed and embarrassed I felt. I was using Allah’s blessings in the wrong way, and it made me feel even worse because I have a good life. My parents love me so much and have always provided for me.

That just made me sadder and more upset with myself.

Questions I Ask Myself Why do I think I’m a porn addict? I don’t feel safe around my parents. I avoid relationships—not because I don’t want to, but because I’m scared of men. I want to take care of my parents and help them retire. I bottle up stress and put too much pressure on myself. I get attached to guys I can’t have (I don’t even talk to them, I just stalk them online). Why can’t I stop? I’ve tried to quit so many times, but I always relapse. The longest I’ve gone without watching porn was two months. Summary & Conclusion If you’re struggling with this, I get it. I know how easy and cheap it is to use porn as an escape from feelings you don’t want to deal with. But at the end of the day, it’s not worth it.

I’m not writing this to inform you—we both already know it’s wrong. I’m writing this to remind you (and myself) that we can fight this.

I’ll still keep Reddit, but only to help others and post about my journey.

If you’re a sister and need someone to talk to, I’m here. And if any brothers have questions, feel free to comment.

May Allah grant us strength and keep us steadfast. أسأل الله الثبات لي ولكم 💜

Edit: I didn’t do it while fasting, but my genuine intention to quit was at the time I made this post. By "genuine," I mean truly feeling regretful and wanting to improve—not just feeling sad about it. I hope that makes sense.

I see so many people of both genders struggling with sexual wrongdoings in this age. I just wish to say that marriages don't need to be complicated like they have been made by the society. One can be in a university, get married after crossing legal age and continue with their life like they would have without being married. Except for that now they will have a halal way to talk about sexual urges and experience those things. People don't need to live together. An understanding can be developed between the families that both are young and will continue living with their respective families and doing whatever they would be doing education wise. Can meet up once in a while and spend time together. A lot of young people who are in a relationship without being legally married already do this. Why not just sign a legal paper, bring witnesses and completely stay safe from all kinds of sins? If one is old enough to get married and is a muslim enough wanting to avoid falling for these sins, then they should definitely speak to their family and ask to get their marriage arranged under these terms. I am hopeful a lot of families would be willing to get their children married early on.

Hello, Muslim Redditors!

I'm trying to learn about Ramadan from a Muslim friend and found out that Muslims aren't allowed to do anything sexual during the fast. I have a piece of advice that has helped me a lot when I used to have a masturbation and porn addiction. Hopefully, it'll help you too.

Whenever you get an urge to masturbate or watch porn, don't act upon it because these urges only last a few seconds or minutes, and after that, they automatically go away. If you still can't control your urge, then do something physical, like go to the kitchen and drink a glass of water or walk around your home, spend time with family, etc.

Anyway, happy fasting.

Perhaps you've already come across posts like this, but I feel it's important to say again: I’m proud of you for holding true to your values in a world where such things are often normalized. We as Muslim women, are truly fortunate to have Muslim men like you who are more likely to resist indulging in these content. You are the men who will love and cherish your wives without being influenced by the unrealistic and damaging standards that the media often pushes.

You are the men who will find joy in your wifes natural beauty, seeing her with pure eyes and appreciating her. Because you value modesty and keep the unseen sacred. I encourage you to continue lowering your gaze and keeping the beauty of a womans body a mystery until marriage.

I make dua for a man like that, someone who is focused on his purpose and lifes goals, keeping his gaze and heart pure until marriage.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu fellas

Alhamdulillah I've been clean for exactly 4 years now, 4 years to the day- March 15th, 2021.

I don't think I've ever been necessarily addicted to porn. No, I wasn't much of a frequent user during adolescence/young adulthood but I always knew it was haram to indulge in it and the sense of guilt afterward never faded. Like the average male who has internet access and privacy at the same time, I would salute the salamander no more than 2-3x per week, almost always done on the weekends. Because what kind of sicko jerks off on a school night???

Here's how I managed to stay clean for 4 years, I'm sharing this in the hopes that all of you can benefit from it as well. Even when I was still in the game from 8th grade until age 25, I often did go clean for weeks or months at a time. Often when I felt the urge to sin, I would just redirect that to a different form of leisure, which was either video games, Youtube (anime/games related stuff), movies (I'm a huge horror movie fan and you lose the urge to jerk off when you're watching spooky stuff unless you're a fetishist. Which I'm not at this current moment in time) and music (there's a difference of opinion on music, if you follow the opinion it is haram then find an alternative source of entertainment).

Most of the time I managed to avoid masturbating because I instead put in some work in Skyrim, Pokemon, playing Hedwig's Theme on the piano, etc. Some people suggest immediately praying 2 rakat or reciting Quran whenever you feel the urge and while I do think this can help and have done so myself on many an occasion, the rapid shift from wanting to jerk off to then worshipping Allah can be jarring enough to actually follow through and I think this advice is generally easier said than done.

Another deterrent was reminding myself that I have to go take a whole bath/shower if I jerk off. That's pretty inconvenient if it's demon hours like 2 AM since nobody wants to leave the warmth of their bed at night and it's gonna be cold af in the shower initially even if you make the water hot. It just wasn't worth dealing with so I wouldn't jerk off specifically to avoid freezing in the shower during demon hours.

Obviously jerking off is sinful and you're inviting Allah's punishment by engaging in this, I was aware of this too during my time in the game but the cognitive awareness of Allah being disappointed with me often wasn't enough to overcome the Shaytan-instigated desire for sinful self-gratification. That clearly applies to so many of you given the ceaseless guilt posts every day on this sub. Truly, what helped me more to avoid porn/jerking off was diverting my attention to more enjoyable/non-sinful activities like the aforementioned ones and acknowledging the practical inconvenience of having to do a full ghusl after jerking off every time.

Now we come to March 15th, 2021. I had a somewhat traumatic event in my professional life that day and subsequently I was much less eager to jerk off because I feared that the professional failure I had was actually a consequence for jerking off in the past and that Allah would punish me further were I to persist in masturbation.

So I stopped. Eventually as the months went on, I became kinda impressed with myself for my resilience and decided I would just no longer engage in porn/masturbation. From 2021 to February 2025, I didn't do any of that stuff and instead found my high specs gaming PC, movies, music, etc to be the easy way to avoid sinning. And of course I did the usual things such as salah, dua, dhikr, Quran, etc too.

My friends (some of whom are non-Muslim) were all baffled by the length of my streak as it continued, and two of them who are doctors were very confident in diagnosing me with prostate cancer despite never doing a prostate exam.

Eventually I decided to keep the streak going just for the sheer sake of it. My two doctor friends even created a small trophy for me in 2023 to commemorate my 2 year streak, the trophy features a bottle of lotion and tissue box engraved with the trollface and the plaque it rests on has this listed

"Many men beat their meat but few ever defeat it. [My Name], Meat Defeater Champion 2021-2023"

I owed it to myself, the boys and most importantly Allah to keep the streak going at that point. And Alhamdulillah, I sure saved a lot of time cumulatively over the years by not wasting it on porn/masturbation. I often felt a desire to get back in the game and become an incognito hero again but I was very aware that coming out of retirement would consume hours of my life I would have rather spent killing zombies in Resident Evil for example. And by the grace of Allah, I got married to an absolutely wonderful woman in February 2025.

However, because there always has to be cosmic justice or perhaps just a divine test of sabr, my wife was on her period during our honeymoon so my streak of not busting still lives on since we're long distance for a few months. But inshaAllah that will be rectified at the correct time and place.

It's doable fellas, you too can build a streak greater than the Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak and once you have your nikkahs then that streak shall end too (assuming your wife isn't menstruating during the honeymoon gg RIP).

May Allah forgive all of our sins and bestow blessing on us all for the rest of this sacred month. May Allah grant all of you the self-control and resilience to banish this harmful deed from your lives and give rise to streaks of your own.

Keep fighting the good fight.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi barakatu.

Salam brothers, I am 15 years old and I have been doing it for 2-3 years. Today was the first day I intentionally broke my fast due to masturbating. Before, I was doing it after iftari, as I saw no other way to get through Ramadan. I feel so so bad. Also I didn’t know that you need to perform ghusl every time you masturbate, so most of my salahs don’t count. Also I didn’t know pre sperm breaks your fasts aswell, so a few of my fasts don’t count aswell. I feel like a failed Muslim.

May Allah forgive me and you guys aswell

Wa Salam

I hope you guys are doing well. I thought of making this post here it is then. I am 22 M i had this addiction when i was 17. I was a corn addict when i was 16 and i was a chain smoker when i was 15. May Allah forgive me for this. I left msturb**** 3 years ago. Left porn 2 years ago smoking 3 years. Ask me anything. Point of this post is not to expose my past sins but to motivate all you guys that it is possible. Plus i left social media to Alhamdulilah i have many more things that i achieved All praise be to Allah

Let's be honest most of us muslims these days are not as advanced and developed as we once were. There was a time where we headed discovery and science and maths and physics and discovered the secrets of the world, not anymore.

I know hypnotherapy to most of you will sound made up and stupid but it really works. It can be used to cure habbits and addiction if done by someone competent.

I have not used it myself but I do know people who have used it for smoking.

Point for discussion is, would you consider having a few sessions to be cured from this for life?

I have this stupid habit to be on my phone when I’m on the toilet and I failed man. After iftar though, I put it away to not do it then I took back my phone again and it happened. I was so close to not do it man couldn’t do it.

Now i’m sad, wasn’t worth it.

Masturbation has destroyed my life. I've been battling with it for over 12 years (I am 25) and can't get rid of it. I don't know what to do anymore. Every time I repent I have the hope to get rid of it for good. Sometimes I stop for several days, weeks, or even months, but it always comes back.

You may think that I am suicidal, but no, I just feel empty, not even depressed or sad. I've laughed like a crazy dude after my last relapse, knowing that I am shackled to it for the rest of my life; really felt like the joker and that movie hah.

I have dreams too, and can't get them achieved because of this, I want to get married, have a loving muslim wife and kids, but every time I get motivated for several weeks, shaytan takes advantage of my weak moments to make me go back to this sh*tty deed.

I haven't prayed at all in the past two days, and I don't even feel guilty, even though I have knowledge I am doing a huge sin, my heart feels empty, and this sin is the root cause of it.

Subhana Llah, am I condemned ? I see all my friends striving and approaching their goals, while I am fat, stinky, and can't get anything done in my life, although I work and will graduate soon in sha Allah. I am afraid I'll ruin everything because of this.

Wallahi this is funny, I feel like I might go crazy if I never stop it, I can feel the repercussions on my social interactions, my life, health, mind.

And the worst is that I know I have the potential to be a great guy and moreover a great muslim. I know I can become more than just "this". I want to take control of my life rather than being controlled by it.

I also wanna get married, and tried to. I met a nice, pious muslim girl in the muslim marriage sub in the end of last year, and we exchanged for about a week respectfully, and I had the best niyaa to involve my parents and go speak to her walii since we were from the same country. Everything was going smoothly and we shared every single value and had the same principles, until she asked for a photo.

I instantly got rejected, but may Allah reward the sister, she said it in a respectful way and wished me the best. I felt empty for like an hour after our last interaction. then I cried like I never cried. I let everything come out, wallahi the tear were flooding, and all that came out of my mouth was "alhamduli Llah". And deep down, I knex it would've ended like this.

Funnily enough, this interaction left me motivated to change for the best to have more chances in seducing a girl (not saying it unrespectfully, I respect all muslim girls and have no female friends).

So I decided to definitely stop masturbation. I've lasted 50 days until the urges came back (I've started from the first time she messaged me), so even that didn't suffize.

Well I don't know why I've told that story ahah, but I guess I had to let it come out.

After that, I joined a masturbation healing discord server to have some tips, and I tried everything, like cold turkey or parental control, but this of course didn't suffise.

Even though I said all this, I don't lose hope in the Allah's ability to guide me and make me stop this sin for good. I just don't know what to do anymore, I prayed everyday in the last third of the night in the masjid (like 8 times) during the last 10 days of ramadan, and even before, I made stopping this sin my goal during this month and made lots and lots of duaas.

But I relapsed tree days after Ramadan. Is there a wisdom in this that I don't see ? Or am I just a bad person who'll end up in jahannam ? I am afraid of losing my faith, and stoping prayer is a step to it. Please don't remind me of the gravity of stopping prayer I have the necessary knowledge to know it a a horrendous sin, and that the difference between muslims and kuffar is salah. I don't even know what I am looking for with this post. Maybe advice ? From someone who stopped this sin ? idk. Please help a struggling brother. Allah gave me so much in this life yet I can't get my self to thank Him by stopping to fap.

tl;dr: Rant.

This Ramadhan... I chose to stop this nervous habit of mine. Compared to most of my Ramadhans in the years before, this month has gone relatively well.

I have only hit the urgetown six times this month. It has resulted in me ruining five fasts that I will now make up for after this month passes. Before, I used to go at it every other day, at night and in the morning.

I used to watch visual stimulation a lot and it didn't help that I discovered it very early; but thankfully, letting go of that has been an easy task after realizing I was substituting it for things which I have been long devoid of.

... I am still devoid of those things. And I don't think I'll be deserving of those things in the future anytime soon.

Only God knows how much blessing I've wasted over my youth to adulthood. Has I not been brought to this point, I would've continued.

But now I'm aware.

I really do want to stop this compulsive behavior of mine.

I want to be a partner who can be looked at with a satisfied and happy heart.

Yet despite knowing that this is just fuel for the hellfire, I've majorly been unable to overcome this obstacle.

... I want to be normal again.

Please pray for me.

I have lost so much, I don't even know if I'll ever reach to being the same again.

May Allah give you the reward of all my good deeds too, for the rest of your life.

Update: I really was not expecting any of the replies I got here. It really warms my heart to receive your words of comfort, empowerment and advice.

Thank you all.

Hey guys, I’m not here to share my own story today, but rather the story of a brother who had a huge impact on me.

I created this account about three months ago when I started taking my addiction to porn more seriously. I discovered NoFap communities, including this one and a Muslim-focused one. That’s when I learned about NoFap partners, and I wanted to try it, hoping it could help me stay on track.

When I asked for a partner, many kind people reached out. They were all great, but one of them stood out to me. Let’s call him Farooq. At first, he seemed like any other supportive person, but the more we talked, the more I felt connected to him. We had so much in common:

Both of us were Muslims from Ahlus-Sunnah (Orthodox Sunni).

Both of us were passionate about our faith and striving to be more religious.

We were at the same stage in life, around the same age.

We shared the same position in our families—both the eldest and the only sons.

And much more. He felt like a hidden gem, a rare kind of friend. I knew he was the one who could help me in this journey. His words, his dedication, and his energy were like a fire that couldn't be extinguished. With his support, I managed to achieve my first-ever 7-day streak. Talking to him about my struggles, including sexuality, felt like a huge relief—it was the first time I could open up to someone about this. In real life, I had no one to discuss it with.

For three weeks, we talked daily. Whenever I felt weak, he reminded me to stay focused and never do anything drastic, like blocking him or deleting my accounts. I gave him my word that I wouldn’t. But then, one day, he just vanished.

At first, I didn’t think much of it—maybe he was busy. But days turned into weeks, and still, nothing. No replies, no sign of him online. He had been on a great streak—15 days at least. What happened? Did his parents take his devices? Did something bad happen to him? Was he hurt… or worse? I had no way of knowing. It hurt, but eventually, I had to move on.

Then, after two months of silence, eight days ago, he finally sent me a message:

"Salam alaykum bro, you need to stop messaging me and spend your valuable time elsewhere. I’ve changed and become a jerking loser. Please save yourself, brother."

I was shocked. It didn’t even feel like the same Farooq I knew. What happened to him during those two months? How could he just give up like that? I tried reaching out again, reminding him of his impact on me and how much he had helped, but he never replied.

This addiction breaks people. It takes strong men and turns them into what they once feared. I’m still praying for him, hoping he finds his way back and messages me again. I won’t give up on him, just like he once refused to give up on me. If I manage to beat this addiction, I will never forget what he did for me.

For now, I’m standing strong. I’m on my 9th day—my best streak so far was 10. My next goal is 14. I can do this. I must do this. For my own sake, and for the brotherhood we once shared.

I guess even diamonds can break sometimes.

I've had a masterbation addiction for so long now. I can't even tell you how long. For the last 3 ramadans, i've broken my fast a few times because of an uncontrollable urge. I don't even know what to do anymore. Every time i promise myself i'll stop i come right back to ground 0. I've made dua to Allah to help me, but every time i raise my hands to Allah my heart feels cold. I feel so far away from Allah it sickens me. I genuinely have had enough of this action. I don't want to tell my parents because I know that they will never see me the same way again. I've tried to make myself goals but I always fail. I've read and read but I feel so lost and so distant from Allah I'm scared that I will lose Islam. Please I need advise and dua to quit this crap.

I have been struggling with a certain sin/bad habit for a while now and decided that enough was enough.

I tried everything to stop it and was doing good for a while until eventually, I would 'relapse'. I realised that when the time came, and the urges started to hit, there was nothing to ground me in the moment—no instant reminder, no way to shift my focus.

I recently downloaded this app, and it's a game-changer. Unlike other habit-tracking apps, this one is made specifically for Muslims. The moment an urge or temptation hits, you open the app and press the 'urge' button-and instantly, you regain control. How? The app guides you through a calming breathing exercise, followed by powerful reminders from the Quran and Hadith, grounding you in the awareness that Allah is watching and your actions have consequences.

Feel an urge → Press the 'urge' button → Instantly refocus, calm down, and remember your purpose.

Assalamualaikum. Just want to ask you all what finally made you stop.

I (act) pious weekdays when im at work. weekends i turn into a filthy animal and dont fear Allah. This cycle is vicious and i know i need to stop it.

Inshallah maybe if i read your inspirations can help me in some way.

Jazakallah Khayr.

I dont know what i did to become this wretched but I have been suffering since last year despite all attempts to quit. My ramadan is the worst it has ever been and i probably lost some fasts and now I want to repent but all i feel is anger and shame. I have messed up so many opportunities for growth and change that if it weren’t for islam I would have hung myself from a bridge. And this is only the tip of the iceberg

...when you're still an active porn addict. Try therapy, try to find the roots of your addiction before you destroy an innocent soul with you.

My husband is an addict and I found out 5 years into our marriage when I was 5 months pregnant. I knew he watched porn before marriage. He lied to me our whole marriage about not watching porn but I always had a weird feeling. When I found his browser history my whole world crushed down.

I suffer from betrayal trauma ever since. I know he is into blonde white women and I am a brown woman. Since 1 year I cry myself to sleep every night. I feel not enough and betrayed when I did everything for him. I loved him more than anything in this world and still I was not enough for him... His lust for other women was more important than me even though he knew watching porn and dishonesty was a deal breaker for me. I was ready for him to sacrifice my biggest dream to become a mother when we found out about his infertility issues. I was by his side and did everything for him ...still not enough.

Please please please don't hurt another soul. Please don't get married as a solution for your addiction because it's not.

Al Salamu Alaykum

Here is a story that can help one see how the Shaytan utilizes small steps to critically harm mankind.

: Source : Quoted in ibn al-Jauzi, Talbees Iblees, p.39
“And he swore unto them (saying): Lo! I am a sincere adviser unto you” (al-Araaf 21).
Wahb ibn Munabbih has related the following lengthy story from the people of the book.” We present it here to show the way of Shaytan in his attempt to mislead mankind. The story warns humans about Shaytan”s “sincere advice”.

One must oppose the thing that Shaytan is calling to. Wahb said, There was a pious worshipper of the tribe of Israel. He was the most pious person of his time. During his time, there were three brothers who had a sister. She was a virgin. And they had no sister other than her. They were all about to leave the town to go to war. They did not know with whom to leave their sister and who they could trust to look after her. They all agreed to leave her with that pious person. They all trusted him. They went to him and asked if they could leave her with him. She would be in the building next to him until they return from the fighting. He refused their request and sought refuge in Allah from them and their sister. They persisted until he finally acquiesced. He said, “Put her in the house next to my place of worship.” So they put her in that house and they left, leaving her there. She remained living next to that pious person for some time. He would put food for her in front of his building of worship. Then he would lock the door and return to his place of worship. He would then tell her to come out of her house and take the food. Then Shytan approached him softly. He encouraged him to treat her kindly. He told him that it was not good to make the woman come out of her house during the day as someone may come upon her. If he took the food directly to her door that would mean a greater reward for him.

He continued for some time to go to her door and place the food at the front of her door without speaking to her. Then Iblees came again and encouraged him to do good and get more reward. He said, “If you took her the food and placed it in the house for her, you would get a greater reward.” He continued to encourage him. So he started to take the food into her house. He continued like that for some time.

Then Shaytan came again and again encouraged him to do good. He said, “If you talk to her for a while she will be put to ease by your conversation as she is in a state of fear and she is all alone.” He then started talking to her from atop his place of worship.

Then Shaytan came again. He said, “If you were to come down and talk to her while she sits at her door and talks to you, that would be even more comforting for her.” He continued to encourage him until he came down and sat at his door and would talk to her. The girl would come out of her building and sit at her door and they would talk for a while.

Then Shaytan came again and encouraged him to get great rewards for treating her well. He said, “If you were to go from the door of your place of worship and sit close to her door, that would be even more comforting for her.” He continued exhorting him until he did so. He continued that act for a while. Then Iblees came again. This time he said, “If you enter her house and talk to her, and not make her show her face in public it would be even better for you.” He continued exhorting him until he entered her house and spent the whole day talking to her. Then when night fell, he returned to his place of worship.
Then Shaytan came to him after that and continued to make her more appealing to him. Until the worshipper got upon her and kissed her. And Iblees continued to make her look nice in his eyes and desire her until he finally had sex with her. She got pregnant and gave birth to a boy. Then Iblees came and told the worshipper, “Do you not realize what the brothers of the girl will do to you when they see she has given birth to your son” You will not be safe if your matter becomes clear. You should go to the boy and kill it and bury it, that way you can conceal your affair and they will not do anything to you for what you did to her.” Then he said to him, “Do you think she will conceal from her brothers what you did to her and your killing of her son. Take her, kill her and bury her with her son.” He continued spurring him on until he killed her and threw her in the ditch with her son. Then he put a large rock over them and leveled it.

Then he returned to his place of worship and worshipped therein. He stayed in that state for as long as Allah willed until the brothers came back from the fighting. They came to him and asked him about their sister. He mourned her loss and started to cry. He said, “She was the best of women and that is her grave.” The brothers came to the grave and cried over their sister and asked Allah to have mercy on her. They stayed at her grave for a few days and then went to their families. When the night overtook them and they went to their beds, Shaytan came to them in their sleep in the form of a traveler. He started with the eldest and asked him about their sister. The brother told him what the pious man had stated and how they were shown her grave. Shaytan told him that the pious man had lied. He said, “He did not tell you the truth about your sister. He got her pregnant and she had his son and then he killed and buried her out of fear of you. Then he threw them in a ditch he dug behind the door of the house she was staying in, to the right of the entrance. Go and enter the house in which she stayed and on the right of the entrance you will find everything I told you about.” Then he went to the middle brother and did the same. Then he went to the youngest brother and did the same. When they woke, they were all surprised at what they had seen. When they met each other, they all said, “I saw an amazing thing last night,” and they informed each other of what they had seen.

The eldest said, “That dream has nothing to it so just ignore it.” The youngest said, “I will not leave it until I go and look at that place.” They all went until they reached the door of the place where there sister stayed. They opened the door and looked for the place that was described to them in their dreams. They found their sister and her son buried in a ditch, as they were told. They asked the worshipper about it and he confirmed what Iblees had told them. They then took him and were about to crucify him. When they had him on the wooden cross, Shaytan said to him, “You know that I am your companion who tempted you by the woman until you got her pregnant and you killed her and her son. If you obey me today and deny Allah, who formed and shaped you, I will rescue you from your predicament.” The worshipper then belied Allah. When he belied Allah, Shaytan left from being between him and the others and they were able to crucify him.”
Many scholars related this story in their commentary to the following verse,
“Or the likeness of Shaytan when he tells man to disbelieve, then, when he disbelieves, says to him, “Lo! I am innocent of you. Lo! I fear Allah, the Lord of the Worlds” ” (Surah al-Hasr 16).They mention that this verse refers to this worshipper and to others similar to him. Allah knows best.

This story, and others similar to it, are from the Israaeeliyaat or stories which have their source in the books or tales of the Jews and Christians. We do not say it is true nor do we say it is false, but it is allowed to narrate them as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Narrate stories about the Tribe of Israel if there is no harm in that.

Yes you read it, don’t try to quit porn. Continue reading before you report me 🥲.

With so many people trying to curb their PMO habits, reaching a certain number of days, and end up with relapse streaks, it occurred to me, is there an issue with the strategy, or concept itself ? An important question that comes up here is, are we demonizing PMO or our sexual urges ?

First let’s get to the basics, and then build up to the conclusion.

Firstly, we need to understand is, sexual urges are normal. It’s a sign of healthy functioning of our reproductive system. Sharia has established that male/female can get married for productively channeling this urge in a Halal manner as established from the Quran and Sunnah. It is crucial to understand that, PMO is simply an unhealthy outlet of the healthy functioning reproductive system. But where does it begin ?

Societal standards, environment shape our minds, thoughts, actions and habits. It can shape us in such a manner that one may be an outwardly good Muslim, however subconsciously he/she may believe in the same societal standards as others. In a world where society has fallen into decadence and hyper sexuality is the norm, it’s only a recipe for disaster, one wouldn’t find it difficult to indulge in unhealthy activities to fulfill sexual desires.

However, given that, it’s important to understand the strength of our minds and our agency. This is based on the Usul that Allah will not test someone with something which is beyond our capability to overcome it. Our minds and our actions are much stronger then what we believe it to be so. Shaytan capitalizes on this belief as well, it’s his nature to just whisper a thought and let our wrong beliefs about our self take us down the black hole. It’s important to realize and reclaim the strength of our mind and by necessity our actions, that’ll eventually shape our habits.

Now why shouldn’t we try to quit porn ? What I mean by this is, we curb our sexual urges, by welcoming it, and actively try to analyze our feelings with our mind and then performing action, in this case abstinence from PMO. This is rooted from a Hadeeth of the Prophet SAWS, That gentleness is from Allah SWT while Hastiness is from Shaytan.

Let’s use this to understand our actions towards PMO. When a sexual urge emerges, we immediately tend to prepare ourselves to watch porn, and masturbate to it. And we become “hasty” in the process, we concentrate on completing the act, and we gain a resolve, and we lose “patience” (which is an attribute that Allah loves). Hastiness is what Shaytan loves while its opposite is what Allah SWT loves. Allah has said in the Quran, that Humans are hasty in nature. During the process, we may even try to stop, but by now our body and our Nafs gets ready to fulfil its duty.

So what are the practical step towards protecting ourselves,

Step 1 - let the sexual urge arrive at the door step of your mind. Let it knock at your door. It’s like the beloved knocking at the door and the Lover (Nafs), gets crazy to meet its beloved. But your mind must the controller of the door. And you have to realize this fact. It’s a test of patience, whereby failing to be patient will end up in dark path.

Step 2 - Think. Put an effort to think through the urge. Sit or stand (if you’re lying in bed) and analyze the consequences of your actions. You do that for every other decision in life anyways, PMO is a decision at the end of the day, and Allah will judge you for it. Grab a pen paper and write down all the necessary consequences of your response to the urge and analyze its pros and cons. You may think that doing PMO just this once, is no problem, but you should know the consequence of saying yes at that given time. If your thought gets overcome, stop being Hasty. Practice patience, and think again.

Step 3 - Stop the process. Divert attention to something even more important than performing this action. Perform Wudhu, Go out, perform Salah, read the necessary Duas, fast etc.

That’s why I mentioned, don’t try to QUIT porn, rather try to strengthen your mind to stop the process which leads to PMO. The idea that I have to stop watching it, while I clearly know that I have a strong urge, resulting in frustration, will only lead to more and more relapse streaks.

Analyze your choices, and its consequences, quit being hasty and divert attention.

Step 4 - Never despair from the Mercy of Allah. Even if you do relapse, the real test now is, do you go back to Allah And Repent ? Shaytan also wants to steer you away from it. Even if you do relapse, seek His forgiveness and make a resolve of not repeating it again. And start the process again.

Step 5 - Work towards getting married. The process of marriage will itself occupy your mind and the thought of PMO will only be distraction now. So work and our efforts towards the Halal.

For married folks, work towards satisfying your better half, think of the consequences, your children etc. To steer away the thought of PMO.

May Allah help us fight this disease and bestow patience and forgive our sins.

Assalamwalaikum!

I can explain myself better when I write. I think I’ll enjoy writing this, and maybe you’ll like reading it too. If you have time, read it all. If you don’t, save it and read it later when you’re free.

Let’s start from the beginning. I was 12 years old in 2016. Life was good—I went to school, came home, studied, played in the evening, and slept on time. Then, 4G internet came, and everyone got excited. My family got it too. I didn’t have a phone, but my brother and dad did, with 4G. I asked them to use their phones to watch YouTube videos because I liked making DIY motorcars. I kept exploring and ended up on Chrome. That was my big mistake.

By accident—or maybe curiosity—I clicked a popup ad and landed on an adult site. I don’t remember how I felt, but I watched it for a few days. Then I started doing things to myself. I didn’t know where I learned it, but I saw it could be done that way. Time passed. When I didn’t have a phone, I imagined things in my head. This went on until 2019. You might think I stopped. No, I didn’t. It got worse because I got my smartphone.

I won’t write too much and bore you, but in 2020, I realized this was wrong. I wasn’t mature enough to stop, but I knew it wasn’t good. My mind started playing tricks on me. When I felt the urge, it was like I went into a strange state—I didn’t know what was happening around me. After it was done, I felt bad and guilty.

Since 2020, I’ve been trying to stop. I wasn’t serious about it, though. In five years, the longest I went without doing it was one week. Sometimes it was four days, three days, two days, or just one day. That’s not enough. I get angry at myself, but I can’t change the past. I’m 21 now, and I feel behind when I see others my age doing well. (I don’t know if they do this too, but they seem better than me.)

Sorry, that last part was negative—my mistake!

Now, I’m starting again, properly this time. I feel like, Inshallah, I won’t give up. I’ve admitted there’s a problem, and it’s wrong. I found what triggered me and removed it. I understand how my mind tricks me. I made an emergency plan called “Go To.” When I feel the urge, I do pushups until I’m tired. Then I get up, make wudu, or read istighfar, tasbih, or Quran.

I’m not very wise, but here are two things to remember:

1. This thing—Shaytan or your mind—it’s not stronger than Allah. If you trust Him, nothing can bother you.

2. As I grew up, I thought: my parents, future wife, and kids don’t deserve a weak person. They deserve someone who can take care of them.

I tried not to write the same things everyone else does. We’re all struggling, from the young to the old. But in Islam, despair is seen as a rejection of faith. No matter how bad things are, you have to stay happy and believe Allah will fix everything one day.

Okay, I’m going now. I’ll see you next time!

Ever since we started watching porn

We get told indirectly that porn will be that a quick fix, or a substitute for real intimacy

We often hear people who struggle with porn say the following: "I watch porn because I am not married"

Which implies that porn can somewhat solve or substitute temporarily real sexual desires

But the reality is it doesn't

Not even for the slightest bit

Here's what actually happens (read with attention)

You know when you watch porn, you somewhat trick your mind to make you feel as if you are having real sex right?

And that's simply called a fantasy

Without porn, you could sit on your couch and just purely visualize yourself having sex and you would feel aroused, and you could even get to the point of no return, the same as if you were watching porn

So what is porn doing to you? Nothing

You are simply visualizing/fantasizing having sex

Just like someone who watches a movie and is so inspired by the story that he might start visualizing himself being in that story or make up his own story in his mind and feel as if he is experiencing it to a certain extent (fantasy)

But that doesn't equal to even 0,0001% of real intimacy, of real sex or a real woman...

All you are getting is the feelings that you think sex would give you

You are not getting:
- Real human connection
- Potential to build a family and have kids
- To deepen your relationship with your wife
- Mutually experience real pleasure (not just you)
- To be vulnerable to each other

And much more

Watching porn thinking it can be a substitute for a real wife

Is like being hungry and deciding to watch videos of people eating food and tricking your mind to think that you are eating that food

It's never ever going to satisfy real hunger

Or in that case it will never ever satisfy that innate desire for a real woman

i relapsed and broke my fast, i feel so guilty and ive been doing this for 2 years. please make dua for me to help me stop doing this filth, i cant break out of this jail. i hate porn so much.

When I left p*rn, my life changed for good.

I finally felt like I had found that drive and hunger for life again, the kind where I would wake up every single day excited to pursue the things that truly mattered to me.

But I still remembered how, back then, a lot of people would say things like:
"Watching p\rn is natural. You're just doing it to sexually relieve yourself because of your hormones..."*

I hated hearing that.
Because it made quitting feel nearly impossible, like I was going against something that was just "human nature."

But here's the reality:

Watching p*rn might be normal, because a lot of people do it.
But it can’t be natural and here’s why.

If someone believes that watching p*rn is simply a way to satisfy an innate desire for real intercourse…
Then why don’t we watch videos of people eating food to satisfy our hunger?

We don’t.
Because we know that watching someone else eat won’t do anything to actually fulfill our need.
It’s just a video, it doesn’t feed us.

In the same way, humans weren’t designed to watch others have sex in order to feel fulfilled.
We don’t reproduce by sitting alone, watching strangers on a screen, and tricking our minds into thinking that’s real intimacy.

People watch p*rn to chase illusionary pleasure, emotional relief, and artificial sexual satisfaction.
But the truth is , it’s all just mental stimulation, a fantasy we create in our mind.

And once you stop, you begin to realize just how empty PMO really is.

That’s why it can never be called natural.

A lot of people struggle to not watch p*rn when they are lonely

You know when you spend all of your day alone, you don't have a partner, you do the same routine everyday...

Sometimes p*rn can seem alluring

But the truth is, it's not because you are lonely that you'd watch p*rn

It's because you believe that p*rn can solve a part of that loneliness in one way or the other

So one very powerful thing you can do

Is when you feel lonely, you ask yourself

"What do I genuinely want right now? What do I think p\rn will give to me in that moment?"*

And you might come up with irrational reasons, but challenge them

The reason being is that we've often been fed over the years that porn is like this substitute for real relationships, intimacy, sex...

And that it can effectively alleviate your loneliness

Even though it can't substitute real intimacy, a real woman or alleviate your loneliness

Just start challenging those beliefs that you have that makes you desire porn in those moments

This can only be done through an Islamic lens so I hope this helps people

The secret is to draw closer to Allah through extra voluntary deeds and this is back by a Hadith ill show you, On top of your obligations you want to be doing night prayer and dhikr whilst trying to stop these bad habits

Please read this Hadith all you’ll see what I’m talking about

Sahih al-Bukhari 6502 Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Allah said, 'I will declare war against him who shows hostility to a pious worshipper of Mine. And the most beloved things with which My slave comes nearer to Me, is what I have enjoined upon him; and My slave keeps on coming closer to Me through performing Nawafil (praying or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory) till I love him, so I become his sense of hearing with which he hears, and his sense of sight with which he sees, and his hand with which he grips, and his leg with which he walks; and if he asks Me, I will give him, and if he asks My protection (Refuge), I will protect him; (i.e. give him My Refuge) and I do not hesitate to do anything as I hesitate to take the soul of the believer, for he hates death, and I hate to disappoint him."

Once you draw closer to Allah you’ll hate to look at things that displease him so you’ll never want to participate in p0rn again

I can anecdotally vouch for this 100% I had insane urges to look and once I did I FELT NOTHING it was honestly disgusting

The urges told me too look and once I did I felt absolutely no gratification in my heart and I thanked Allah because this Hadith had an explanation to what I was feeling

The secret is too simply lower ur gaze as much as possible and draw closer to Allah and once you do even if you want to relapse you’ll find no pleasure in it