r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 2d ago

Meme needing explanation Petahh what did steam do?

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43.8k Upvotes

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2.7k

u/HappyCamper139 2d ago

Steam is notorious for taking action for hacked account reports.

723

u/greatwhitebuffalo716 2d ago

Makes sense, so I guess Steam is about that action like Von then.

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u/ENDZZZ16 2d ago

My account got hacked once and when I got it back they kidnapped, tortured, and delivered the hacker to me and they let me personally execute him, it was also recorded and sent to all of his contacts so they would know what would happen if they hacked another account. 10/10 service but they didn’t warn me of how messy it would get and I got some stains on my shirt but overall quality service.

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u/Heflay 2d ago

Can confirm I was the Hacker

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u/The_Dreammaker 2d ago

Can confirm I was the account

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u/PitifulPurpose504 1d ago

Can confirm I was the pc

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u/ScaredSaltShaker 1d ago

Can confirm I was the monitor

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u/holiestMaria 1d ago

Can also confirm, I was the glass the hacker was delivered in.

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u/BoyFromOnett 1d ago

Can confirm, I was Von

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u/UnhingedHippie 1d ago

Can confirm, I was Von’s left shoe

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u/Firkraag-The-Demon 1d ago

Can confirm, I was the first guy’s porch.

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u/trafalmadorianistic 1d ago

I was the webcam. The shit I saw, hoo boy...

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u/Alarming-Ad-6057 1d ago

Can confirm. I was the hentai game in his account

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u/Freddie_Arsenic 1d ago

so there's this instagram account I wanted to hack

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u/Anglofsffrng 1d ago

I got hacked, and Steam never delivered a hacker. Just some testicles in a jar.

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u/FenrisGreyhame 1d ago

Sometimes a symbol is the most powerful message.

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u/AtaktosTrampoukos 1d ago

They literally hacked his testicles off? Seems proportionate.

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u/IttybittyErin 1d ago

That's because they never caught the hacker. Those testicles belonged to the customer service agent who failed you.

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u/Toadsted 1d ago

If your execution runs for longer than 2 hours there's nothing they can do.

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u/Mstboy 1d ago

Yeah they have made improvements since then. Now they give you a cool branded poncho. I still have mine it's really good quality, actually.

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u/trev2234 1d ago

You didn’t have to tick the box to personally execute the hacker. Less messy option is to leave that box unticked.

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u/Nico408 1d ago

Talk about customer service

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

Did they provide a towel for your bloody dick, afterwards, though?

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u/Haefulbug 1d ago

Total goony vibes

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u/Hjalfnar_HGV 2d ago

Yupp. Banned a guy for spamming racist crap on a Discord I moderate. DMd me he's a hacker and would get 'revenge'. Kiddo sent a Steam DM from his recently renamed actual account with a fake Steam frontpage linked and wanted me to sign in...to steal my Steam account I guess. Reported it and 24hrs later get an answer that the account was deleted. Felt a bit bad for the kid...he had like 2000hrs on his fav game...

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u/No_Talk_4836 2d ago

Play stupid games….

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u/oofx99 1d ago

He had an entire steam library of games, but he decided to play the stupid game, and thus won his even stupider prize.

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u/historynutjackson 2d ago

Felt a bit bad for the kid

Don't. People need to learn that actions have consequences.

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u/fraidei 1d ago

Yeah. Also, those 2k hours in a game are not going away. It's not like the kid forgot the enjoyment of those hours.

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u/Commercial_Twist_574 1d ago edited 1d ago

Steam used the neuralyzer from men in black to erase his memories..

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u/OdinThorFathir 1d ago

Poor kid forgot what steam even is

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u/Revayan 1d ago

With the added bonus that he now has an unexplainable longing for something he cant put his finger on

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u/roborectum69 1d ago

When you have 2k hours in a game, I can assure you those aren't 2000 hours of "enjoyment".

I say this as someone who has over 2k hours in a game.

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u/fraidei 1d ago

I mean, I have like 2k hours in the entire Borderlands franchise, and at least 70% of those were pure enjoyment.

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u/roborectum69 1d ago

That's unusual, but more power to you. Typically a single player game has nowhere near 2k hours of stuff to do, so I'm referring to games like CS and DOTA where you're trapped in the loop of trying to grind a meaningless number up season after season

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u/fraidei 1d ago

Many single player games can have thousands of hours of content. Especially if there are challenges, NG+ (or similar) and more choices to make during a playthrough (so you want to replay the game to see the different choices consequences).

There are tons of single player games where people have hundreds if not thousands of hours. It's not unusual.

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u/roborectum69 1d ago

There's a big difference between hundreds of hours and >2k. I enjoy getting all the achievements, beating all the difficulty levels etc. That's always been hundreds of hours in my experience but it's a big world with lots of games.

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u/fraidei 1d ago

There's not much of a difference tbh. It's still a game that is being played much more than just the main story.

If you only played games that are fully completed in hundreds instead of thousands of hours that doesn't mean that games that could be played for thousands of hours don't exist.

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u/87997463468634536 1d ago

i have five games in my steam library over 2k hours and i didn't feel that way about any of them

maybe only play games you actually like? it's okay to drop games you don't enjoy

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u/roborectum69 1d ago

Haven't played either of those in years but thanks for the tip

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u/Mad_Dizzle 1d ago

Idk, I have 2k hours in Team Fortress 2 and Europa Universalis IV, I would consider it to be >80% pure enjoyment.

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u/Quaiche 1d ago

That's a you problem.

Don't put everyone in the same basket as you.

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u/Antique_Resolve_3862 1d ago

idk man I have over 3000 hours in hollow knight and most if not all of them were fun

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u/Hjalfnar_HGV 1d ago

Eh. It was War Thunder, and he signed up for the game with his Steam account so any progress through the trees is gone. That HURTS. But yeah...he dug himself a hole and decided to keep digging.

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u/fraidei 1d ago

The progress is not gone. He just can't progress anymore. But what he did didn't get away from his memory. It's the Sunken Cost Fallacy.

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u/Kaffe-Mumriken 1d ago

2000 hours? You liberated him

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u/Ippus_21 1d ago

I bet his mom was SO pissed when he made her re-purchase the games that went down the tubes with that account...

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u/icysniper 2d ago edited 1d ago

I fell for a complex scam in 2023. It was the first time I'd seen its kind. Account hacked, contacted steam with proof, and bam I got it back. However, the original profile picture was changed and thus lost to the annals of my memory. Steam does not keep a history of that...

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u/kisswithaf 1d ago

I fell for a complex scam in 2023. It was the first time I'd seen its kind.

Share the knowledge bruh

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u/Background-Goal-1602 1d ago

They asked for his password

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u/Irregulator101 1d ago

hunter2

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u/KEPD-350 1d ago

<wizard hat and robe reference>

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u/Silenceisgrey 1d ago

btw i made a reference to the "stabbing someone in the face" joke on the project zomboid subreddit and copped a 30 day ban. Kids these days don't know their bash quotes.

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u/KEPD-350 1d ago

Society is hell to us IRC-users. The normies don't understand with their discords and IMs. Disgusting is what it is.

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u/bigpurpleharness 1d ago

The bash days were... something else.

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u/Demonking42069 1d ago

Truly perplexing.

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u/Kaffe-Mumriken 1d ago

Dear Sir:

I have been requested by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company has recently concluded a large number of contracts for oil exploration in the sub-Sahara region. The contracts have immediately produce moneys equaling US$40,000,000 tied up in a steam wallet. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company is desirous of oil exploration in other parts of the world, however, because of certain regulations of the Nigerian Government, it is unable to move these funds to another region. You assistance is requested as a non-Nigerian citizen to assist the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, and also the Central Bank of Nigeria, in moving these funds out of Nigeria. If the funds can be transferred to your name, in your United States account, then you can forward the funds as directed by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company. In exchange for your accommodating services, the Nigerian National Petroleum Company would agree to allow you to retain 10%, or US$4 million of this amount. However, to be a legitimate transferee of these moneys according to Nigerian law, you must presently be a depositor of at least US$100,000 in a Nigerian bank which is regulated by the Central Bank of Nigeria. If it will be possible for you to assist us, we would be most grateful. We suggest that you meet with us in person in Lagos, and that during your visit I introduce you to the representatives of the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, as well as with certain officials of the Central Bank of Nigeria. Please call me at your earliest convenience at 18-467-4975. Time is of the essence in this matter; very quickly the Nigerian Government will realize that the Central Bank is maintaining this amount on deposit, and attempt to levy certain depository taxes on it. Yours truly, Prince Alyusi Islassis

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u/Riveremperor912 1d ago

Bro got catfished maybe

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u/Ziegelphilie 1d ago

He logged into steem dot com

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u/Vevaseti 1d ago

"hey would you like to test my videogame here's my .exe"

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/Loose-Donut3133 1d ago

My man that's not complex that's one of the basics. Support doesn't contact you, you contact them. And if someone really, truly, reports you on accident then nothing fucking happens unless you were doing actionable stuff to begin with. At which point that's on you.

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u/StashAjay 1d ago

Yeah I got a scam like this a few years back, they contacted me on discord and made their pfp and name the same as an actual Valve employee on steam, I asked them to login to their account and text me to prove it and they stopped responding lol

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u/Guilty-Hyena5282 1d ago

My nephew said he was 'hacked' into his Steam account and they wouldn't help him. He asked me to take a look to see what I could do. I scanned for malware. Nothing. No weird processes running that I could tell. Then I asked him about his usage of Steam and if he shares the account with other people? He said oh yeah I have a friend group we share accounts/passwords to trade stuff. But they woulnd't do that. SMH.

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u/irisflame 1d ago

Can you report an account of someone else’s that got hacked? I had a friend who passed away many years ago.. and then more recently I noticed his account had been hacked and taken over by someone cheating in games and now had a VAC ban on it.. It would be so nice if his account could be restored to how it was when he passed away (name and profile pic were changed by the hacker..)

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u/cmndrhurricane 1d ago

My steam was hacked by some russian a month or so ago. Three days later there were drone strikes in Moscow.

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u/HauntedCS 1d ago

They got my account back 15 years ago when I was a dumb kid playing TF2 and signed into a fake website. Steam is often slow, but legit and thorough with their help. They used to give inventories back in CSGO, TF2, Dota2 and more.

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u/Aggressive_Worth_990 1d ago

Notorious if you're a hacker. Famous if you're not.

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u/Narrow_Ad_1494 1d ago

Yeah but they don’t return the stolen items.

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u/Freakychee 1d ago

Hmm my friend sorta got hacked. What they did was use his account and use the steam saved credit to buy a worthless item for well over the normal asking price so they took a games worth of steam credit. Not too much but Steam apparently did nothing after reports and complaints.

What should have been the correct action my friend took?

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u/Nympho_Cheeta 1d ago

Von and Steam are inspirational, and now will hop off the internet to stop being so lazy. Fr, fr.😤

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u/Theseus505 1d ago

Notorious?

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u/BoOmAn_13 1d ago

Fell for a phishing attack once, locked me out of my account, changed email, phone number, password, account recovery system. Less than 5 days later my account is fully recovered and no permanent damage is done to myself. Can't say the same for those scammers. You don't get that level of care for customers anywhere else. Love the valve team

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u/SorbyGay 1d ago

"notorious for taking action for hacked account reports."

its so sad that we've gotten to the point where a support team is "notorious" or "well-known" or "(in)famous" for doing their job. everyone else is falling behind

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u/Loose-Donut3133 1d ago

I'll talk shit on the guys that do UI and general back end stuff on steam because GOD DAMNED IT EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD DOESN'T NEED TO BE CHROME BASED.

But the support team actually do work. Which, hey, if your company is going to primarily work as a storefront and your design teams kind just have their dicks in their hands you should have your support team actually be able to do their damn job.

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u/chrischi3 14h ago

Steam is run a private company that is notorious for doing whatever it takes to keep its customers happy.