Guilt. I’ve posted about this in other groups but I can’t seem to come to terms with my guilt.

I lost my boy Astro suddenly and traumatic a couple of days ago. He lived to be 14 years old. I can’t get rid of the guilt, the pain, the “what if”. He has had a history of mast cell tumors. Last August during an ultrasound the vet found a mass on his spleen. We did FNA and it didn’t show any cancer. That doesn’t mean that it wasn’t though. I opted to go on regular check ups for changes instead of a big surgery like a splenectomy. That is my guilt. He had many amazing months til yesterday. He has been doing so well. Yesterday morning he suddenly peed himself and couldn’t really walk. His gums were pale and I just knew something was seriously wrong. I rushed him to my vet who could take him in. They gave him an IV, then did a x ray on his abdomen and could see fluid in his abdomen. They told us we could either do surgery or let him pass. The surgery would maybe not even be successful, and if he lived it could be just in agony for the last months of his life. I just couldn’t risk it, and he was in so much pain. I let him pass. The guilt is now killing me. I can’t live with this pain and the what if. What if I just did the surgery on him back in August? Would he still be here? Or if I did it now? And would have saved him? Did I do the right thing? I just couldn’t see him in pain. He was so done yesterday. I just couldn’t put him through such a big surgery at 14. All the vets adviced against. Was I wrong? Did I do the wrong call? I miss him terribly and don’t know if I can ever recover. Keep reading about the success stories and how people got a few more years. What if I failed him? It’s eating me up inside.

My husband was outside with our dog. He had to pee, so he ran in real quick, heard barking, and ran back out to see her take off after another loose dog. After searching everywhere for 5 days and even hiring a man with a thermal drone to search for her, I received a call from someone that had seen my posts on social media saying he thought she was on the side of the highway a few miles from our house. I drove over there, and there she was. It was a sight I just can’t erase from my memory.

I am having a very difficult time dealing with with her death. My husband rescued her 11 years ago when she was a puppy, just a couple years before he met me. I feel so angry she died in such a horrific way. I feel guilty that I didn’t hire the guy with the drone sooner. I feel so, so sad. I keep picturing her just so scared and all alone wondering where her people are. I don’t know. It’s just not fair. It’s just such a cruel, horrible way to die.

I have been crying every single day for a month straight. It’s not getting better. There are some days I’m somewhat okay and there are days I wanna die. I don’t know if I can go through life like this. I can’t bare the thought of not seeing him ever again. Life has no meaning or joy.

Lola was my first cat, and she was with me for nearly 12 years. Losing her felt like losing a part of myself.

I didn’t want to just keep her ashes in a plain jar. So I started working on something more personal—an urn that looked like her, sleeping peacefully, just like she used to.

When it was finished, I placed it by my bedside. It gave me a strange sense of comfort, like she was still watching over me in her quiet way.

After that, a friend of mine lost her dog, and I offered to make something similar for her. She cried when she saw it. That moment made me realize how meaningful something like this could be.

I’ve since made a few more for people who’ve lost their furry friends. Each one is different, and every story is special.

Just wanted to share in case someone out there is also grieving and looking for ways to keep their pet close.

We spent the day sitting on the balcony in the sunshine and she passed in our living room while I held her in my arms. Today was a wonderful last day with her and that doesn't make the emptiness now hurt less. I am absolutely shattered inside and I don't want to go to sleep without her here with me. It feels so wrong.

I adopted my girl when she was 2 years old after being abandoned as a kitten, and we spent 13 amazing years together. So many adventures, laughs, snuggles, tears, and memories. She was my baby and my savior all in one tiny grey and white fluffy package. The bond we shared was beyond words, and she saved me just as much as I saved her that day at the shelter. It hurts so much knowing I won't ever look into those sweet green eyes ever again. I knew I would feel absolutely broken after the vet left with her body this afternoon, but I am not sure how I will ever be able to pull myself up off the floor. I feel absolutely destroyed and while I know that 'grief is love with nowhere to go', that this was the 'right thing to do' because she had aggressive cancer, and this is an indication of just HOW MUCH I love her, it hurts so damn much. To the very core of my being.

My house and my heart feel empty. A part of my soul went with her today. I would do anything to have just one more day back. Or even just one more hug.

I'm nervous about calling out of work tomorrow, because I know I'm going to need more than just one day to grieve, and my boss doesn't understand. She was my everything.

My beautiful soul dog passed away on the 22nd of March. It was a complete shock, with him deteriorating from his normal happy and energetic self, to his body shutting down from sepsis due to 2 large masses which were suspected to be metastasized cancer.

My partner and I took our other border collie for a walk alongside the beach front where my boy spent most of his life, including many walks and swims at the beach, and we ate at one of the cafes he'd always come to. We ended the day eating steak, which I'd cook up for him each year on his birthday.

I haven't cried in a week now, but the emptiness is always there.

I miss my buddy so much.

I don't know what to do with myself, I've had him for almost a decade and losing him like this so suddenly doesn't feel real. I keep crying randomly, I can't sleep anymore, my heart feels heavy and I just feel empty. How do people move on from this? I've never experienced such loss before because I never had anything to lose, but with my kitty gone I feel like my world is crumbling down. I don't know what to do with myself..any advice is appreciated.

just before christmas my dog had to be put to sleep, she basically went from being fine to unable to walk, or function, properly without being in pain or distress within 5 ish weeks quickly. It was really sudden and blindsighted all of us. It was and has been really really difficult for all of us, I've been struggling a lot and the grief feels like one of those things we just don't talk about, even though I'm trying too, it feels like nobody is listening.

Just when i felt like i was getting better? if thats possible? I realized i'm really lonely, i don't know how else to describe it other than the fact it feels really lonely and empty in my house despite theres 5 people living in it. maybe its not and its just me but i . really feel like i could do with like, a pet. Is this normal? I'm 17, and ive tried bringing it up to my parents but it feels like they arent hearing me when i say how hard its been for me. They are older, and have said how hard it is to lose people and they way they worded it seems like they're scared to lose anything again. I understand how they feel, and care about how they feel, but at the same time i feel like I'm falling apart and i don't know what to do anymore. Im autistic so i dont know if thats why it feels like there is a disconnect when i try to talk about it? i feel really selfish and guilty thinking about it sometimes because I know it sounds really bad, i think.

Its not like i think the new animal would suddenly make everything better, but i think it would help me. I don't even mean like it would replace my dog kind of way, because she was so sweet and so lovely and i know nobody could replace her. I kind of think of it like my heart making more room, because i would love them both. I've ghosted the idea of another animal but been told a mix of the things mentioned or laughed off/not been taken seriously. I feel like im only getting worse.

TLDR: ive been struggling with being extremely lonely after my dog died, and not sure how to go about that. I feel like i could really do with an animal in the house but, i think im the only one who does and Family members aren't listening.

sorry this turned into a rant but does anyone have any advice? is this even like. normal?

Just felt like sharing this because it weighs on me and I'd like to know if anyone has had similar experiences.

A month or two ago I had a really upsetting dream about a disaster that ended with the death of my beloved pets, Jimmy and Buckwheat (the shelters named them lol). I have aphantasia so when I visualize dreams it seems so REAL to me.

I woke up at about 5am that morning, on the verge of tears, and immediately got up to go lay with my dogs on the floor. I got up, walked over to their beds, and they werent there.

My second dog Jimmy had passed away about 3 months before and my first dog Buckwheat had gone almost a year and a half before.

I cried for a solid 2 hours after and stayed in bed all day.

It was so devastating because I hadnt had the guts to look at photos of either of them since they had died and in the dream I could actually see them. Worst grief I've ever felt.

I thought of this about thirty minutes ago and it still brings me to sobs. I miss them so much.

Finding a support where care is given regardless if you know someone or not is really cool. Every comment I read, cherish and think about deeply. I used to feel like, absolutely insane to feel like this over an animal but it helps so immensely to have you all here.

i still miss my dog a lot, and sometimes I can’t help but cry. I accepted that he’s gone and that I won’t be seeing him, but there are times when I’ll call out his name forgetting that he won’t, I just got so used to it yk?

We put our 9 year-old Great Dane Rocco down on Friday. It was a gut wrenching decision. Over the past few months, we've witnessed him slowly starting to fall more, losing his balance, and unable to bear too much weight on his back right foot that had an infection that refused to heal. It got to the point where he would sometimes fall onto his poop after going. Sometimes, he'd be on the couch, and he'd just let out a little poop, and we'd have to clean him, the couch covers, our pants, etc.

He could no longer do stairs, so he was sleeping on the ground floor, and we would take turns sleeping down on the couch next to him... otherwise he would stand at the foot of the stairs and just whine and whine. It was heartbreaking.

At the same time, he loved life. When given the chance, he would try to bound around outside, play with our other dog, and man oh man, did he love eating. He loved us completely - he was thoughtful, kind, and very perceptive. He had such a special bond with my wife.

After a particularly bad weekend last week, we made the appointment with the vet on Friday. It was so obvious that this was unsustainable, and that he was in pain. We cried all week - he was such a wonderful, smart, insightful, and sensitive boy. A true gentle giant. Over the week, he sometimes showed positive signs - getting up on his own, eating voraciously,.. he even went up the stairs on Thursday to be by my wife at her desk - it was amazing to see. My wife kept asking me if we were doing the right thing, and I tried so hard to stay strong. I know it was the right thing, but it was just awful. It would have been so easy to just not do it and wait until he was really sick.

I know that we could have kept this up for weeks - months? Kept him with 24-hour care, making sure he had help up when he fell, got his butt wiped after he pooped, having someone sleep with him - we could have done that, and he'd still be here, next to me right now.

But we didn't do that. We loaded him into the car on Friday, drove to the vet, drugged him up, and ended his life. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'm crying just thinking about it. I still have waves of guilt feeling like we did the wrong thing for our guy.

I know it will get easier with time, but the guilt of taking this big, beautiful boy - who trusted us completely - and ending his life, is just haunting me.

I know we all share this bond here - thanks for reading.

These pictures are all from this week.

https://imgur.com/a/roccos-last-week-NCanIuX

I got my calico cat Esme when she was 10. She gave me another 7.5 years, and we used to joke that she'd keep going forever, she was so kittenish.

It's been a little over a week since she passed. I'm somewhat okay now, but I still cry at night when I'm trying to sleep. After all, she was supposed to be there, cuddling with me, for forever.

She was supposed to be there when I woke up. Supposed to be there for treats and snack time. Supposed to be there for her canned food times, meowing for us to hurry up and feed her.

She was supposed to be there to greet me when I got home, and supposed to be there trying to get at my food. She was supposed to be there playing in the living room while we watched TV, supposed to be underfoot in the kitchen when we cooked.

She was supposed to always climb into my lap or onto my chest at the most inconvenient times. Supposed to begrudgingly allow being picked up and given kisses. Supposed to love being petted but unimpressed by scritches.

She was supposed to be my friend for forever. She was supposed to be there during highs and lows, always ready to lend support.

But she's not. She is gone. I'm still here, and she is gone.

I lost my sweet soul dog at the end of December and I’m really struggling with that loss. He was my entire world for 14+ years and he knew me better than anyone. He was my soulmate, my heart dog and my best friend.

Which brings me to my question. I was supposed to pick up another puppy today but backed out today. I keep going back and forth. I do have another dog, who is amazing and he’s really perfect.

I’m really anxious about getting another dog and “replacing” my other dog. I logically know that it’s not replacing him and that love isn’t finite but this is so hard.

I know it is different for everyone but I just curious when you decided to get another dog.

I will add that when we got Lazlo, Xander went through some really serious health issues and I really struggled to bond with him. I’m worried about being able to bond with the new puppy.

I know rationally that I'm doing the right thing, since my almost 15 year old dog's quality of life is only getting worse, but it's so hard because she's the first pet I've ever had. I've never faced such a massive loss like this. But watching her deteriorate from the sharp, sassy pup she used to be is even more unbearable. She was my best friend for so many years and loved cuddles but now she acts like she can't stand to be touched.

It just feels extra real now that the date has been set. I know that she'll finally be able to rest peacefully after but part of me wants to take it back just to keep her here a little longer, selfishly. It doesn't help that I'm basically the only one in the household who's doing the additional emotional labor of putting everything together. I don't even want to think about how I'll cope afterwards. But the least I can do is make sure she's comfy at home, with her whole family by her side.

just needed to get some thoughts off my chest. Thanks to anyone who read through it all and best wishes to those going through the same thing.

My boyfriend lost his dog July 2024 unexpectedly and I know he misses him. His birthday is coming up and I was thinking of doing a customizable phone case for him with a few pictures of his dog, but I'm second guessing myself if he will like it or not. He has pictures of his dog in his room, so I know he likes to see pictures of him. But now I don't know if seeing them everyday all day will be a source of comfort or a source of grief coming back up.

Any suggestions are appreciated

I am so grateful you were by my side for almost 14 years. Everyone told me I was crazy when I got a 9-month-old puppy in the middle of exams in my first year of law school. But when I met you, I knew you were the one. From that moment on you were by my side, always checking in, always adventuring, always keeping me going and giving me love. I don't know what I did to deserve you for so many years. I miss you so so much.

I'm so sorry you were sick for so long. I'm so sorry I put you through surgery. Had I known it wouldn't help I never would have done it. But at the time it seemed like it would be an easy surgery and recovery for you. You deserved better at the end. I know you just kept trying because that's what I needed. I wish I'd have done more for you. I'm so sorry I got so upset with you Wednesday night. I'm so sorry for all the times I didn't let you smell the thing you really wanted to smell.

Major Tom is lost without you here. He might actually start acting like a cat without your influence. It's been just about 24 hours and my everything hurts missing you. You were the best boy. You're so smart, so loving, endlessly understanding, and the best thing in my life.

I want to just say I'm sorry over and over and over again. I want to hold you again. I want to look in your eyes and tell you how wonderful you are. I'm terrified to move on, afraid I'll lose more of you. I didn't want the pain to end because I didn't want you to leave me. I didn't want to leave you. I'm so so sorry boy.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you. I know you couldn't hear me, you're hearing was taken way too early, but I hope that those words still reached you and that you felt them at the end. You will forever and ever and ever be in my heart.

Ziggy Aug 1, 2010 - April 5, 2025

Hello everyone, I posted here exactly a year ago; 6th of April 2024. After our dog died of horrible road accident. I just want to say thank you all for your kind words even we are all internet strangers. May the universe guide us all.

And for those who are suffering from loss/grief, it is indded a heartache for us a brother, sister, parents to our beloved animal companions. This is not an easy task to overcome with just a snap and its gone. Cry when needed, hug a person in family for comfort and slowly you'll feel a bit better. The process of moving on for some is longer, just dont rush on getting it done.

Whisper i love you with our companions whilst they're still with us and cherish the moments of the departed.

Hi. I had to schedule a humane end to my buddy Duke's life for this coming Friday, the 11th.

He's around 16 or so and his arthritis has taken its toll. He has more bad days than good now, struggles with basic mobility - falls, trips, tips over, etc. But otherwise, he's still mentally so sharp. His eyes are great. His hearing is pretty good. So, this has been an impossible decision to make. But you can see in his face on those bad days that he's just so tired. And I promised to never let him suffer if this day came. I'm making good on that promise, buddy. But it's fucking me up.

I've had him for like 14.5 years. I know how lucky I am to have had that much time with a big dog like him. (He's an 80 lb American Staffordshire terrier). I'm trying to stay grateful for these years we've had.

He's been with me through so many things, huge life changes, sobriety, moves, a divorce...just my ride or die through it all. The only constant thing in my world for so long.

I'm terrified to not have him around. I'm scared of how quiet the house will be. I'm scared of listening for his snores or his nails on the hardwood but not hearing anything. I'm scared of waking up without him there. I'm scared of not caring for him in his old age anymore even though it's been heartbreaking.

I need some hope here. I don't know how I'm gonna get through the next 5 days or the days, weeks, months after he goes.

Thank you all for sharing your stories.

Some1 sprayed venom, and my angel silently got intoxicated. I'm on the suicide path, I don't know what to do, she's special and unique, I wake up every day scared, can't enjoy life anymore.

I got you as a kitten 2 years ago while me and your mom were out on a date. We stopped at a pet shop to check out what cats there were and there you were. I had been looking for a black cat for ages and so I of course had to take you home. I remember you playing with the drawstrings for my hat all day that day. Do you remember?

We took you home and introduced you to our puppy Cookie, and you two got along great. As soon as we let you out of your carry crate you were right at home, romping around and being cuddly and playful like everyone dreams their kitten will be.

You were goofy, you were annoying. We played together constantly. You were underfoot or up on a high shelf where we couldn't reach you any chance you got. You always greeted us and then yelled at us when we got home to let us know we left you alone. Any time I played video games you were right there with me on the backrest of the couch.

You said goodnight to me every night without fail. You'd climb on my chest as I'm laying down and meow at me and rub your face against mine and I'd pet you for a minute before you'd get your drink of water and go to your usual sleeping spot by my pillow.

You came when I called for you and we talked so much. My friends could often hear you through my headset when I was playing games because you meow so loud. And if I wasn't paying enough attention you'd jump up to my shoulder no matter what I was doing. I have many scratches on my shoulder to prove it

You'd even play fetch with your toys....

Today was supposed to be an amazing day. I went out to see the cherry blossoms with some friends and I was excited to tell you all about it and show you pictures when I got home, but when I got home I found it strange you didn't come greet me. So I looked around and saw you were sleeping. You looked so comfortable in your blankets. I went to gently pet you and wake you up, only to feel your cold, stiff body. Instinct told me everything I needed to know. You were gone, and you had been for several hours.

Please Tamba... Please come back to me... We were supposed to celebrate your birthday next week. You were gonna turn 2!

I'm gonna miss you buddy. You wait for me on the other side of rainbow bridge okay?

I lost my soul cat in the most unfathomably horrific way this past Tuesday. I found him gutted in my yard by a pack of stray dogs. To make it even worse someone in the community feeds the dogs and they’ve terrorized other neighbors as well. He doesn’t seem to care at all. My baby was only 11 months old. The sweetest purest soul. I’ll never be the same. The heaviness is crushing me 😞

We had to put our beloved cat Reese to rest after 15 years on April 2. She suffered through congestive heart failure and we draind fluids 3 times. We knew we couldn't keep doing this to her. We don't have kids. She was our one and only kid. We are heartbroken. We had an in-home service come for euthanasia and ideally wanted her last vision to be her Mommy and Daddy, and we wanted to be looking into her eyes. Unfortunately the sedative they gave her sparked a strong reaction from her. She hissed, growled and tried to run away as my husband held her down. We feel so much guilt as her last moments were filled with panic. We didn't get to look into eachother's eyes. We pet her and spoke consoling words to try to calm her down. But her reaction was scary for her and us. We just feel so bad. Any words or those that had a similar reaction, we would love your guidance.

RIP my babygirl Lolita 10/05/09 - 02/04/25
She was the most beautiful girl , a mixed Jack Russel Terrier / Min Pinscher.

For a little bit of context, we lost our mom when we were all pretty young.
I was 17, my sister 15 and my brother 6.
Our world was completely shattered but my dad accepted for us to adopt a puppy, so we can learn to love and be loved again.
We got her when she was 2 month and she was our first ever dog.

For the past almost 16 years, she gave us so much happiness because she wasn't "just a dog", she was a bridge through grief after our mom's passing showing us that joy could still exist.

The cuddliest of dog by sleeping in our beds, drowning us with licks whenever she had a chance, being playful every single time and looking at us with her beautiful eyes.
She was our sunshine, our everything.
She never spent time alone as there was always someone at home being close to her.

I explained it on another post how we went from hope to total despair.
But to make it short, she had difficulty breathing in february, we thought for long that it was a slow cancer. It turned out to be the most agressive one.
And she passed the same day of her CT scan from what it seems like bloodclot from hemangiosarcoma.
At least the whole family was here the last few hours of her life, talking to her, kissing her.

We are now utterly destroyed, having to experience another traumatic loss.
We were hopeful but knew the end will come someday, but not that quick.
She was fine the same morning, and we had to let her go just before midnight.

My dad lost a daughter, my sister her babygirl, my brother her sister.
I lost my very best friend.

We are now living in an empty house, sometimes hearing her paws, her drinking water, throwing her tennis balls around, snoring or sighing in her blanket.

We feel like we are going crazy.
I still want to kiss her head, smell her wonderful scent, play with her belly, giving her the most delicious snacks...

Thank you for all these 16 years together babygirl, you saved us but in the end we couldn't save you.
We hope you can still watch us from heaven and you can now keep company to our mom .

I will always love you like I have loved you for every single day you spent on this earth.

See you soon Lolita <3

This is a picture of her https://imgur.com/a/hkvhTtB