r/Petloss • u/volcs0 • 12h ago
Put our Great Dane Rocco down on Friday - left with terrible grief and guilt
We put our 9 year-old Great Dane Rocco down on Friday. It was a gut wrenching decision. Over the past few months, we've witnessed him slowly starting to fall more, losing his balance, and unable to bear too much weight on his back right foot that had an infection that refused to heal. It got to the point where he would sometimes fall onto his poop after going. Sometimes, he'd be on the couch, and he'd just let out a little poop, and we'd have to clean him, the couch covers, our pants, etc.
He could no longer do stairs, so he was sleeping on the ground floor, and we would take turns sleeping down on the couch next to him... otherwise he would stand at the foot of the stairs and just whine and whine. It was heartbreaking.
At the same time, he loved life. When given the chance, he would try to bound around outside, play with our other dog, and man oh man, did he love eating. He loved us completely - he was thoughtful, kind, and very perceptive. He had such a special bond with my wife.
After a particularly bad weekend last week, we made the appointment with the vet on Friday. It was so obvious that this was unsustainable, and that he was in pain. We cried all week - he was such a wonderful, smart, insightful, and sensitive boy. A true gentle giant. Over the week, he sometimes showed positive signs - getting up on his own, eating voraciously,.. he even went up the stairs on Thursday to be by my wife at her desk - it was amazing to see. My wife kept asking me if we were doing the right thing, and I tried so hard to stay strong. I know it was the right thing, but it was just awful. It would have been so easy to just not do it and wait until he was really sick.
I know that we could have kept this up for weeks - months? Kept him with 24-hour care, making sure he had help up when he fell, got his butt wiped after he pooped, having someone sleep with him - we could have done that, and he'd still be here, next to me right now.
But we didn't do that. We loaded him into the car on Friday, drove to the vet, drugged him up, and ended his life. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'm crying just thinking about it. I still have waves of guilt feeling like we did the wrong thing for our guy.
I know it will get easier with time, but the guilt of taking this big, beautiful boy - who trusted us completely - and ending his life, is just haunting me.
I know we all share this bond here - thanks for reading.
These pictures are all from this week.