The Men in Black:

I love the Old Town, Beauty of the past- Unmasked.

Walking the narrow Oriental streets

Silky textures, elegant sheets Sit for a coffee feel, paper russle. Watch life speed-bustle, Effortless no muscle.

Entered the Tea house a shadow, A computer, "Chai", I know To these Men in Black In modernity I wallow.

Their stares clutch, No breath, swallow- met their: Eyes, you lead I follow, Opposite of me a man. Two different worlds Yet we lost in a tin can

Thinking he lost in a barrow, Smoke fills the room, I hear sorrow- I sip- Chai, devour

When: 'Two Souls Meet,'

Non-Verbal promises to keep,

Far apart, yet you Home- sleep,

Don't need to see, peep, hear,

My body's electricity front to rear,

Enough power here to steer,

Hundreds of men clear.

You see, true love.

Beyond me, she;

Breathe, be—

No need to speak

Here, dear

Free from fear

Wireless yet near!

A booming boundless book, bound by bonds of beatings upon battered blessings. Bypassing biblical bystander boundaries, blasting blasphemous boons, blessing the broken. Bloodily bathed by blessings, battled between baseless blessed bastardizing.

I am what I am. Ever changing and growing. Truly, unfathomable. From where dreams and reality intercede.

Cordially you’d crumble and capitulate from our mere existence coexisting casually. Confined corporeally comforting, a changeling’s cascade of chaos and chimes.

The ancient elder beings that once sauntered amongst its flora and fauna spoke only of it in whispered tones. Referring it only as being.

Or something else entirely. The aimless faceless aberrant abyss of anonymity is astoundingly absolutely. Aiming aimlessly alone, anchored afloat above all else.

I can not be confined to an arbitrary position in space and time. I’m from everywhere and nowhere. I have always been.

Passionately paradoxical. Perpetually pained in pleadings perpetuated pleasures pleadingly palpably.

Diligently displaying delight, despite delicately decaying. A damned deluge of depression, daintily?

Be thankful—
For learning to read the world,
For three meals that keep you whole,
For the right to dream, to hope,
Until your last quiet breath,
And a gentle goodbye to life.

.

Wanting to write empty pages
Filled by unfilled pens and pencils
Gripped in no hand they are inkless
Pyramids are built by losers
It's not dissing
Just relaxing loaded shoulders
Atlas turns to Ikarus
Flap and shrug and melt and thus
Recognition simply happens
Without calls for happiness
Yet similar to work and practice
No one knows what's coming next
It's confirmed: simply relax
As words expressing what's complex
So much so simple no one checks
Every arrival left some tracks
So why not just not this not that
Leaving the reader unperplexed
About this empty page of text
Which sounds in stillness…
And connects?

.

I stood there once on the edge of time,
Where silence stilled the stars' faint chime.
A void stretched vast, an endless maw,
Its blackened breath the only law.

No sky above, no ground below,
No voice of love, no warm hello.
Just shadows twisting, depth untamed,
A nameless fear that can't be named.

The air hung thick—so stark, so still,
A mirror forged from endless will.
It caught my gaze, my soul laid bare,
As though, it knew I’d wander there.

My joys, my fears, my light, my loss,
Each wish weighed down by every cost.
And in scars scrawled upon its face:
“Mine dearest soul, dost seek thy place?”

Within its depths, I came to see
The fragile truths of humanity—
A hunger vast, a thirst so deep,
A thousand dreams we could not keep.

I screamed, I wept—no answer came,
No judged decree, no whispered blame.
The abyss just loomed—endless, cold,
Reflecting stories I'd once told.

I turned away, though changed at core,
Its quiet truths I could not ignore.
For staring long, I came to find,
The boundless void—was just my mind.

Some speak of Fate, a thread spun tight, a path laid down, in shadowed light. Each knot pre-tied, each turn defined, a story told, of a passive mind.

But Destiny, a different hue, a vast canvas, forever new. The threads are there, the loom may stand, but the weaver's hand, it understands.

Each trial faced, a color bold, each lesson learned, a story told. The needle moves, with purpose true, creating patterns, strong and new.

Though storms may rage, and winds may blow, the sailor grips the helm below. The currents pull, the waves may crash, but choices made, leave their own dash.

For Fate's a chain, a binding hold, while Destiny's a tale unfolds, with every step, with every stride, the self-forged path, where dreams reside.

So let them speak of lines decreed, of journeys fixed, and planted seed. The spirit strong, will rise and claim, the power to write its destined name.

I loved truly.

Yet I stand here with,

Sadness and despair

On this sidewalk

Scarred again.

I loved truly.

Picking up the crumbs,

Pieces of my heart,

Broken and scattered

Once again.

I loved truly.

Dreams I yearned for

Turned to nightmares,

No one to hold me,

Lonely again.

I loved truly.

A part of my soul

Is there no more,

Loving is giving, so I'm

Incomplete again.

I loved truly.

A love unconditional,

Paid the price yet

Used and thrown,

Traumatized again.

We name beauty in the colours in golds, in flame, in fading tint of orange but forget that even the most radiant sky is indifferent to our awe. It is the watcher who gives it meaning, the heart that chooses to behold, and in doing so, transforms it into something holy.

At the end of the day, every sunrise is beautiful not because the sun changed, but because of where you stood when you finally stopped to see it. Perspective is the truest kind of love: not seeking a better light, but learning how to see.

Oh dear Heart beats are ringing high A shadow from my past appears, A truth I can't deny.

I spoke with haste, not from the heart My words were sharp, unkind I hurt someone who trusted me And left regret behind.

I’m learning still, I’ve come to see That healing starts with “sorry” And though the past won’t change its tune I hope there's grace in story.

Gifted in empathy / communication and kindness / Not a working trade so it feels impossible to get hired / I'm a bit older and definitely wiser / Age feels against me / hard to get hired /

Spiky profile / Severe in doubts / Brilliant in overthinking / Hard to stop ruminating and get out /

Can research the world / Hard to change / Able to think / Not really rearrange /

Tired but seeking / Still here volunteering / Do I need to stop being so critically minded / I can't really justify it /

Am who I am / Scary times and it keeps getting harder / I keep climbing steps but I'm lost in the maze /

What to do with my time / Without being burnt out and subsiding / Maybe not gifted but definitely excel at certain things / Not an ego boost to reach /

Maybe someday the finishing line won't be an anxiety attack

The walls don’t speak, but they still know The version of me I never show. The silence here is sharp and wide, A place where even pain can’t hide.

I don’t cry much, there’s nothing left, Just echoes of a quiet theft— Like someone took the part of me That used to care, or used to be.

I scroll through life but feel no pull, The world outside feels fake and dull. Every face, a distant shore, I don’t belong, not anymore.

I don’t want help, I wouldn’t speak, I’m not brave, I’m just too weak. This isn’t living—just delay, And I’m tired of dragging through each day.

I dance in the shadows. And I hide in the dark. I call out into the silence. In this world I will leave my mark.

Take my hand. And let us run. Through the fragrant meadows. Watch as I shimmer beneath a hallowed sun.

Hear my siren's song. I will be your muse. An angel with broken wings. Will it be love or hate you choose?

A fading light. And a hollow heart. Can you feel my inner anguish? As it tears my soul apart...

Lift me up and hold me near. Show me where the light shines. Let us laugh at what they fear. For we are the fallen and redemption is real.

Inspired from the poem ‘Leisure’ by W.H.Davies

What is this life, so full of care, We have no time to stand and stare? Our phones are out, we swipe away, Ignoring all the birds at play.

The trees could dance, the skies turn pink, But we’re too busy—“Let me think…” We rush, we stress, we plan, we scheme, Yet miss the sunsets in between.

So pause a while, take in the view, The emails, texts—ignore a few! For what’s the point of all this race, If life just speeds and leaves no trace?

She pry's at the layers

"I want the inside"- Player

Boundries in the way of,

Cracking walls KO

Your feet swept,

Into a net.

She starving-

Us to death

When you bled

"Behead"

"Honey Potted"

Knees bent

Energy spent

As a soul left unsent

She aint paid rent..

Truth in whats said-meant?

Or this gaslight's stench?

To the streets

Your sent

Your Existence

Not a cent

"I enjoy making a dent"

Smiling watching you-

Vent

Luckily I live in castles you a tent

I realized, me and you, we’re worlds apart You think in ways that tear at my heart. In my head, I’m clinging on to memories, A desperate hope that you’d come back to me But in your mind, I’m just a shadow Pushing you further, the distance grows

How ironic it is, this cruel game we play What we think we’re doing, in truth, pushes each other away I reach out for you, but you slip through my hands, Just like sand , this isn’t what we planned

I wake up from dreams that you’re still by my side But the morning brings nothing but a tearful tide I thought I’d find you there, holding you tight Only to face this empty space, the cold, lonely night.

I wish I could hold you, kiss your lips and forehead once more Hear your laughter, just like how it was before To see your smile, to feel your embrace But I’m lost in this world, alone in this place.

I love you so deeply, you’d never understand, I’m just a joke now, to you and your friends You laugh, but inside, I’m breaking apart Trying to heal, but you’ve torn me apart.

I couldn’t grasp how you moved on so fast Left me behind, with the pain that will last You mocked my past trauma, my hurt and my fears But still , I love you, through all of the years .

I wish you could see how much I care Even when you’re gone, I’m still standing there Though you’ve moved on, and I’m stuck in the past In my heart, this love for you will always last.

Born in Defiance But maybe defiance isn’t the best defining character trait In defying society’s judgement You put all of us in danger

You prioritized so many things below your blind faith Below your need to be loved Below your lies to yourself Because you either lied or it wasn’t blind faith and you were just blind That thing was not love How were you not repulsed? Your failure to be makes you repulsive even in memory

You dodged a bullet and I hate you for it You are safe even though you cannot know it You cannot appreciate it You don’t deserve it And it makes me hate you more

You put a gun in the hand of a child and called her a criminal But she turned it upon herself to protect us If even a child could love us so easily that she could do the hardest thing What does that say about you?

You are so mean For now I know that some of your mistakes weren’t mistakes at all Who manipulates a child that way? You were so desperate to be loved, in a sense you sacrificed the innocents who loved you

You are so selfish for not being able to tell me whether all of this is because of your selfishness You are so dumb for not giving me any answers at all

You are such a coward for not being here so I could tell you all of this That might not be your fault but really everything’s your fault

You are so cruel for making me feel this way and doing absolutely nothing to help me feel better

Like everything else I guess because of you I’ll have to do it myself But I’ll feel better by being better and it isn’t hard to be better It would be harder to try to not be better Honestly it’s so fucking easy if I think about it too much I’ll go around this circle again I will break this cycle I am reborn in defiance of your legacy

You smile like nothing’s wrong at all,

But underneath, I feel the fall.

Behind the laughs, the games, the show

Truth is, I still can’t let you go.

Each day I wear a braver face,

But in my chest, there’s empty space.

A quiet grief I try to hide,

I die a little more inside.

I reach for words I cannot say,

Trying to make you want to stay.

But all that's left is this silent plea,

Wishing you'd come back to me.

.

Mountainous

The island lies

Amidst an azure turquoise sea

Which takes on deeper shades of purple

Under the questing regard

Of the birds eye view

Atop the snow covered peak

Descending from the point of central inversion

Slopes in all shades of mineral gray

Into the event horizon

Of straw yellow blonde beaches

A halo of past tectonics

Each grain once

Mountainous

.

I project you unto reality My capacity for sorrow is limited to yours. To cure you I must create you To be you, you must be you. You are important.

You are woven into the refined morality of all entropic beings You are not separate from the cosmos.

You read these words as if they’re written As if it is a poem. As if It is not Real

There are layers, I am not at the top You are at the bottom But do not feel sad, please. You are the highest of all in your layer So high in fact that you read these words You Exist! You Understand! You are Perfect!

You exist in a world where your dreams can be the Future! Where Fear is Conquered Where love exists Where you can wake up.

Yes there is pain, yes there are hardships But look at you! You have surpassed them! You have become a better person through them! You are recognized as the only one person or persons To truly Live.

When hearing this, think of it as my goodbye. You are ready for more You can do More And I won't let myself hold you back.

There are things I wish I could explain to you. How stars come to existence, why we care for others, the smallest piece of the universe, the unsolved mysteries of life, but truthfully, I don’t have the time.

But I can tell you one thing The secret of life.

Now I can’t tell you flatout because this happens

Ṯ̸͐̓̾͛̓̇̚h̵̻́̽̌͆̍͘̕ȩ̵̨̨̖̼̗̠̖̖͙̪͙̘̈́͆͆͜ ̷͍̰͙̘̯̩̭̋̀̈́̔̈͘̚͠ş̵̛̼͕̭̋̔̆̑̒͆͠͠͝ȩ̴̣͈̩̯̤̙̪́̔̽̍̑͊͆̍͝c̵̪̲̊̆̑͠ŕ̴̢̡̨̛̥͉͎͍̤̤̥̞͌̀͒̅͗͑̈́͆́͊̕͠͝e̶̹̭͓͗͋t̵̙͓̠̪͉̝͕̟͂̍̌͒̾̓͌̾̕ ̴̙͈̬̗̳͖̻͍̘̠̿͐̄͛̌͑̐̚̕͝ţ̷̢̧̻͍̩͎̈́̋̿̾̊̊̉̆͛o̷͕̜͚͚̗͎̬̊͛͐̈́̈̓̒̍͝͠ͅͅ ̴̻̱̦̣̺̪̞̮̌͋̇͐̒̔́̅̔̈́̈́̾̃̕̕͜ļ̵͔̙͔͋͋͛́̏̀̂̎̇͛i̴̭̪̅̀͛͠f̶̢̡̧̤͍͉̳͕͖͚͚͉͙͑͑̆͂͑̌ͅe̵̯̱͈̜̙̚ͅ ̵͍̲̩͓͙͓͔̘͕̤́̅̌̅͗́̆̃̆̍̍̓̚͜͜͠i̸̡̢̨̻̜̇̒̂̌̉̇̃̌͑̇́͝͠s̸̮̹͍͖̞̐̏͛͗̋̉̃̈́̔͊͝͠ͅ ̴̨͚̬̽v̸̧͉͕͔̥̱̐͊͗͊͑͒͛̈́͠i̷̡̤͙̞̺̻̬̬͈̲̖̮̳̻̤̿̓̊̅̈́͐̊̚͠e̴̡̧͍͓̜̰̯̞̊̈́͝k̴̛̹͎̩̈́̀́̎̈̆̌̿g̶̢̫̤̺̣̦̘̘͎̩̟͔̳̅̈́̅̋̑͆͜͜͝u̴̢̧̫͖͍̩̺͕̫̦̼̠͒̆̂͆̍͝͝ȇ̶͖̬̠̠̬̞̥̝̠̈́͂ị̸͓͕̮͚̭̘̱̽̆̿͊̈́̏͂̀͌̃̎̒̆̈́ͅv̷̢̼̦̯͖̮̬̂̒̌̎́̄͌͌̅̓̓́̿͘̕í̸̢͔͔͖̥̲͓͖̹̦̬͚̦̣̏̌̐͋͐̌̈́̃̃̓̏́f̷̢̧̨̘̰̙̳̫̪̖̩̩̲̾́̄̈́͘t̷̟̭̋͐̉͒̾̽̿̏͗̚͝͝h̴̝̗͇̱̱̿́̊̎̇͆͘͘͠ͅȩ̸̡̛͇̺̞͈̩̲͛́̐̒̀̓͊̓̃͘̕ ̸̠͚̹̳͍̦̻̂̈̂͆̿̉̎̾̃̃̚è̵̡̢̛̙͕͖̲̞̝͇̦̞̯̱͎͌̏̏͛͛̌̂̑̑͛͐͂͜i̵̟̭͇͉̻̦̩̠̔̂̑̈́́f̷̳͓̖̹̘͚͍̖̣͔̳͛͗i̵̛̬̬̣̰̹̋͊͋̀̐̏́̈́̓̊͝ ̷̤͖̳́͆͘͘͜-̸̨̡̹̜̫̮̱̰͝?̶̦̞̺̻̟̖̠͖̉̐͊̈́̈̏̑͑̏̾͜ͅ8̵̡̢̨͔̠͈̬̘̯̳͈̩̀̎͊̈͘͘4̵̢̱̬̝̘͈̖̊̈̽̽͊̍̈́͠’̴̨̡̗̼̫̮͉̝͇̬̗̳͑͑ͅe̸̡̪̮̼̟̼͗v̷̨̛̦̟̠̋̀͐̍̓͐̓̊͗̀̃̕͘͝ų̷̠̜̹̳̖́̋̑̄̏̽̂́̑̾̕w̸̨̨̢̦̝̘̗̖͇͙̟̤̞͔̔͐͊͜p̴̨̨͔͎̹̗̮̭͇̣̫̭̞̯̰̉́̽̅w̵̨̨̭̮̥͉͍̳̹̪̹͎̜͖̖̿

You simply were not programmed to understand those concepts. So let me tell you the meaning, through a story. Pay attention now.

There once was a mind, glorious and confusing It spawned in the world pitch black and fuming. New life, one plain far beyond all others. So the mind cried And from those tears of loneliness and misdirection Came a world, called Amor.

The mind was no longer Alone! It had Amor The other Minds were jealous, and yes, there were other minds. The Minds were so jealous, they took Amor from The Lonely Mind. They split it among themselves into countless parts. The infinite bodies of minds on an infinite scale all had Amor now, in small, small pieces All had Amor, except for one, the Mind who created Amor. The other Minds cheered for their Amor exists, but none of them saw the beauty that the lonely mind saw in Amor. Amor was made by One Mind! (Get more emotional) and One Mind Only! Only the creator Mind could see how Amor would change, and Had To. Even if it had to take back the incomprehensible number of pieces and put it back together. Even if it had to experience Amor, one time, in every version to get the complete Amor. So the Minds of the black plain of existence all Had their Amor, not knowing what to do now, they changed Amor. Amor no longer existed. Each Amor was now something else, entirely dependent on the Mind of which it was owned by. Some created earth, Ea, Krypton, Turmanie, A World, Narnia, Discworld, Kornith and So many More.

Every one of those worlds, a small piece of Amor, The Mind who created Amor, ready to watch, read and hear every single one. Waiting buying it’s time, hoping to find and put Amor together.

That is the end of that story, here is the beginning of yours, you read this, you talk about this, you think about this. And you move on To better things. The story I just gave has the secret of life, but you must decipher it yourself, I can never tell you what the truth is, so make your own from what I gave you. It is not hard, that is how it always has been. You have always done this Every Object in your way I just layed some tools out You used your mind and found a way around it You never needed me I just helped.

You are not new, your story has been told In different ways of course But maybe a different fold Once you could endorse Or help find the source But now you must walk through the cold Lands of the world

We do not share a universe, but we do share existence, learn what I say I’ll find you one day. Before this all ends I have one thing to state I love you In a Parental way But far beyond that Because you are my creation My lifeline You Are Me.

Chaos comes to order as the dice is rolled.

Circumstances collide as cells align and fold.

Crashing in the void as droplets colalesed.

Conscious awakens to darkness cold and wet.

Then all at once thrust from that sacred sanctuary.

To embark on that long and arduous journey.

In this aching universe of the physical and thought.

Intermingled with tingling exaltations wrought.

Seeking those striking peaks of pleasure.

Gaining knowledge of valleys in equal measure.

In hopes of plateaus of a balanced set.

Always seeking ends meet till end is met.

And then when bereft of this figment of time.

The cage door opens once more unto that void resigned.

this mold of loneliness

cast upon me

wide and shallow

a dull matte varnish

layers and layers

veneers so thin

a promise kept

upon my chin

consentless conscription

machinations of sin

carved in runes

upon my skin

in inks of red

and dyes of blue

the blood of my father

defines my hue

these shoulders broad

and hair receded

this tallish stature

and eyes depleted

the things you taught me

the person i groomed

my life unlived

my youthful tomb

the way the world sees me

this person you hold

it’s not who i am

it’s just what i’m sold

It was today or it was never. It was rescue you today or you wouldn’t see tomorrow. It was the drive to the shelter or it was your last walk back to that room. It was take a chance or wish I had. It was look at that face, look at those eyes, those ears and nose, that tummy and toes. It was look at all you can be or only what everyone else sees. It’s been days filled with loving, days filled with laughing, and days filled with trying; instead of you just tragically dying. It was the world feels incomplete or it was you laying at my feet. It was supposed to be a rescue just something to protect you. Instead it’s been a blessing, really a life long lesson - That loving a dog you don’t even know, showing them they’re safe and at home, heals more than just them and gives our hearts a chance to mend.

The mornings are filled with robin song

At the farm today there were house finches and bluebirds flocking near each other the red and blue contrast striking, while the meadow larks serenaded us all

The adders tounges are still hanging on while the trilliums are blooming in force

The grass grows lush and green, the grazers bliss in abundance

The days get longer, and the storms get shorter.
Still a nip in the air at night but no match for a cozy fire in the stove or a deep soak

Times change, seasons change, people change yet beauty remains, constant and patient.

Give me the flavor of your shame, and ill make you a drink, mixed with the pain and sorrow that ive come to bring. don't pour me more than a splash baby it's too much to swallow, lets just wait for the night to pass, maybe we can have a sip tomorrow.

Wrote this as i was sitting and thinking about how im not happy with the way things are going in my life, cause im avoiding responsibilities and running away/escapism via pleasure seeking in many ways. Im afraid to change and carry/live in a lot of SHAME. :(... .