Mine was simply making my bed every morning.
It sounds silly, but it gave me a small win to start the day.
Over time, that one habit helped me build more discipline and confidence.

Now I journal, read a bit, and plan my day — all because of that one small step.

I’m curious — what’s a small habit that had a big impact in your life?

When I look in the mirror, I look dull, musty, tired, uncared for. Idk if it’s just my physiognomy or what. I also don’t even look my age because of it, I look like a kid or like I’m incompetent to care for myself. Even my outfits are bad.

I was thinking, maybe I don’t look right bc I don’t follow trends? But no, I actually look “poor”. I look like i can’t afford to take care of myself. It’s so hard. I don’t know where to start. Maybe I don’t know how to care for myself. I am girly in every way except how I look. The best I can describe it is I look like I went hiking or running and I’m exhausted. It’s so bad, even somehow next to my boyfriend I look like a pity. He looks put together and like he knows what he’s doing, but I look like an unfortunate girl who is being taken out for a free meal out of pity.

There are some days where I look like a model and so ethereal, but it just happens and I don’t know how to recreate it or maintain it. Help!

I didn’t think I had a phone addiction until I realized I was checking my screen every few minutes out of pure habit. Social media, emails, random apps, it was nonstop. My brain felt overstimulated, my sleep was suffering, and I knew I needed a reset.

So, I tried a phone detox with the help of a program that tracked my screen time and set app limits. At first, it was rough. I kept reaching for my phone to check Reddit and my Facebook notifications because I'm in several NFC East football groups and I'm a huge football fan. So, after a few days, I felt a shift. My mind was clearer, I was more present in conversations with my girlfriend, I started to feel like a kid again because I was outside riding my bike with my kids and I was playing kickball with them along with other kids on our street.

The funny thing is, I wasn’t missing out on anything important. Notifications could wait, and boredom wasn’t the enemy, it actually gave me space to think. If you’ve ever felt drained by constant screen time, I highly recommend trying a detox. You don’t have to go extreme, but setting boundaries makes a huge difference.

Has anyone else tried cutting back on phone use? How did it go for you?

Hello All

Today, I came across this wisdom pearl: "Do not underestimate negative relationships. You have a deep bond with those you hate, fear, or envy. Time to dissolve that."

I have such people in my life who would enrich my life if they left my life for good.

But, is it truly possible to cut off one's relatives completely? I mean, they are very closely related to me and my husband, and I cannot be selfish enough to ask my husband to cut them off too.

I have distanced myself from them. Should that be enough? What else should I do to enhance my life so that they do not have that much of an impact on my life?

I’m autistic (high functioning) and want to be more confident, less shy, less awkward, and more outgoing. I want to make new friends, but don’t really know how. I also want to find a romantic partner and realize I need to start talking to more women, but I have bad approach anxiety and feel awkward trying to start conversations in public places like bars. Any tips on what I can do to fix this?

Im not depressed but lately, I feel like I take the “we live on a floating rock.” A bit too far. I tell my myself what’s the point of this and that if we are all just going to kick the bucket someday. Idk maybe I feel bored with life.

Does anyone here have any life experiences that they would like to share that helped you find your passion/purpose. What gets you going? (Don’t say your kids, like that’s nice but what’s something that you do for YOURself)

This line hits differently when you really feel it. Perfection, for most of us, means doing things in a set, rigid way — polished, predictable, precise. But nature doesn’t function like that. Look around — no two trees are the same, yet each one is beautiful in its own way. Some stand tall, some bend with age or wind, some have dried leaves, some are broken halfway — yet every single one of them has its own charm, its own story.

There’s a kind of divine perfection in their imperfection. In nature, uniqueness is perfection.

But we humans... we get so caught up in doing things “the right way” that we forget to live. We forget to see the beauty in what is — in people, moments, even in our flaws. Let me give you an example.

If you go to a fancy restaurant and order their signature dish, it’ll taste exactly the same every time — measured, practiced, perfect. But have that same dish cooked at home by your mom or someone you love — maybe it tastes a little different each time. Some days spicier, some days softer, some days messy — but always full of love. And that love? That unpredictability? That’s what makes it beautiful. That’s what makes it alive. Life isn't meant to be perfect. It’s meant to be felt.

I have stopped chasing perfection in everything and have started noticing the magic in the way things already are. To me it's a beautiful way to live.

"Those who seek perfection do not know life." – Sadhguru

I don't even know how but it sort of just hit me that I will be turning 35 this summer. And I've realized that I have next to nothing to show for it. I have no savings, I live paycheque to paycheque and I'm an alcoholic. Somehow all of this is hitting me all at once. How the hell does someone spend basically two decades accomplishing next to nothing. How is it possible that I haven't managed to save any money since I started working almost two decades ago?

It's like my brain has suddenly matured all in like one week. It's fucking weird. My perspetive oj everything has totally changed. I feel like I was 12 years old a few weeks ago and today I feel like my actual age. What happened?

I guess it dawned on me that I need to stop fucking around and grow the hell up immediately. Like literally right now. If I want to have any kind of life by age 40. If I don't get my shit together I'll be living exactly the same at 40 years old and the thought terrifies me.

Basically I am an alcoholic but I'm one of those drunks that will stop for a while but self sabotage and ruin everything but binge drinking for a while. I've lost so many jobs, friends, family and money to alcohol. For the purposes of this post and self improvement: I've lost sooo much money to alcohol. It's unbelievable and such a goddamned waste. I could have travelled the world by now (something I've always wanted to do) and I drank it all away. Literally- wtf.

This mid 30's crisis I am having is a good thing. I feel awake for the first time in my life. I am just wondering if anyone else is going through something similar right now.

If your inner voice is your greatest bully, there's no such thing as having great relationships, a fulfilling job or becoming happy.

You will treat the people who mean the most to you the same way as you treat yourself. Especially in times of conflict, your inner voice will find its way into the real world.

Stop talking like an a**hole to yourself and embrace the fact that you have FULL control over how your self-talk should look like.

How do you do this?

Compassion. All of us are hurt. All of us struggle. The only way forward is to turn your ego into your best friend - someone who is by your side when something goes wrong and guides you with a quick pep talk.

"You messed up again, silly you!"

can turn into

"Well, that didn't go well. What can you learn from this situation?"

There is only ONE procedure you have to follow. The moment you encounter your inner bully again, treat it like a child and its tantrums. You gotta be firm, but kind. Tell the voice that everything is okay and next time will be better.

Again and again and again.

Over time, you will notice that the once so angry "inner child" evolves to a compassionate voice that suddenly becomes your greatest supporter.

Out of nowhere, people will come into your life who you want to spend your life with. There will be less cheating, less lying, less abuse - and all of this started...

...within yourself.

Tame the voice in your head. Self-destruction or happiness.

It's your decision. It always was.

Several years ago, someone told me that a psychologist friend of theirs told them this: If you are in a room with 8 random people, 2 of them will like you, 2 of them will dislike you, and the other 4 won't have any strong feelings about you either way.

I don't know how accurate those numbers are, but we don't need to worry about how exact it is. It points to a truth: that people will naturally differ in how they feel about you, and that's fine. Once you realise this, you can relax into just being yourself because trying to be liked by everyone is futile. Some people are just not your type of people. As long as you're not deliberately trying to cause trouble or be an asshole, don't worry about it.

To bring this right home to where you are now, how often do you check your own Reddit profile to see whether your posts and comments have been upvoted or downvoted? And if you spot one that's been downvoted a lot, do you delete it? If you do, that means you're too concerned with whether people like you.

My advice is to stop checking the upvote counts on your own Reddit posts and comments. Just post whatever makes sense to you at the time. Sometimes people will like it, sometimes they won't. Don't worry about it. Just crack on with the rest of your day, regardless. It's liberating.

Like with this particular post. It may get lots of upvotes, it may get lots of downvotes, or it may not get much attention at all. That's of no concern to me. I'm posting it because it makes sense to me right now to post it. What happens to it once I click "Post" is then out of my control.

No matter how hard I try, I can't find success. I tried to go to college to at least live a middle class lifestyle. Instead, I am unable to hold down a job and have crushing debt. I tried to form friendships, but I am unable to form friendshisps or maintain them. The only relationships I can form are with low value women.

My biggest issue is that I have autism, which is basically a death sentence. Plus, the government and corporations made life too hard for even normal people. Much less neurodivergent people.

I am a victim. I am the perfect victim. I have been a victim my entire life. I have tried everything, and nothing works. I have tried fighting through this brick wall to reach success, but instead, I am left with bloodied stumps for arms. Now, I am too tired and bitter to try.

So how would you cope if you were forced to be a failure?

Hey everyone, I’ve been noticing something about myself lately, and I’m not sure if it’s just overthinking or something deeper I need to work on.

I’m naturally reserved and don’t reach out to people often. It actually takes quite a bit of energy for me to do so. But when I do muster up the courage to message someone—whether it’s a friend or even just a mutual connection—and I don’t get a reply back within 12 hours or so, I start to spiral a little. I start questioning whether this person even deserves my time or attention. I know that sounds kind of petty, and I get that people get busy, but it still kind of stings. It makes me feel like crap, to be honest.

What makes it worse is I know how I’d act in the same situation. For example, I almost got into a car crash yesterday—like one of those “damn, I could’ve died” moments. And it made me think: if someone reached out to me, even just with a simple text, I’d try to respond pretty quickly, because I’d want to treat people the way I’d want to be treated.

So now I’m torn—am I overthinking this? Am I too sensitive or expecting too much? Or is this just a sign that maybe I need to start distancing myself from people who don’t reciprocate energy or communication?

Would appreciate any perspectives. Thanks for reading.

Your level of success is directly shaped by your everyday habits.

TLDR; I finally went back to college for myself and am actually happy to do the work and am feeling so fulfilled and excited to be graduating with an Associates this year. Even though no one in my direct family may feel the same and for the very first time… I dont give a flying fuck about that. I’m finally proud of myself.

I finally went back to school after trying to get my degree for almost a decade. That in and of itself is so demeaning, depressing, and discouraging; which is what stopped me from me from trying my best and actually just putting my head down to finish college. The lack of support system and internal confidence or direction didn’t help much either though. Between wanting my degree because other people thought that’s what I should do and then wanting to make those people proud by doing it but forcing myself to do something I didn’t want to and hurting myself in the meantime. After many hurdles and hours sitting with myself and being in and out of college for the last 7 years, I actually took time away and recentered myself to where my first priority is me.

I reenrolled and am in my 4th week of 3 accelerated courses. I’ve fallen behind due to having to get back into the swing of things and academics after being out of them for almost 1.5 yrs. I sat down and wrote out all the work I need to do for my classes and suddenly found the overwhelm, fear, self doubt, and internal discouragement melting away. My grades aren’t bad, I’m not super far behind although I’m goin to be spending a lot of quality time with my laptop the next few weeks so this doesn’t happen again lol.

I’m expecting to graduate by August. I didn’t think I would be able to say that. I was going to just write off college in the beginning of the year. But I instead recentered my thoughts around myself for once. And it feels so good. The amount of growth outside of even just getting a degree for ME, is insane and almost overwhelming. This feels like being able to finally breathe and celebrate myself for the first time ever. And I’m so fucking proud of myself. I just needed to share

Like I think when you can't even trust your own inner voice and others because it is both your enemies who should you listen to then?

I'm writing here because I am kind of at a loss of what else to do. I went back and forth over whether I should tag this as a vent or a question.

I had some conflict with my partner of 2 and a half years a few nights ago. They were tired, or overwhelmed after work, and from my perspective were being very short and snippy with me. i internalized this and made an assumption they were frustrated at me. I brought this up with them after taking a little space, and they stated that it really hurt them that i had made the assumption that they were frustrated with me. They then stated that this has been ongoing pattern for the entirety of our relationship and they are finally at their wits end with it. I either fix this behavior or we are through.

I agree that this has been a pattern that I take responsibility for. I even acknowledge that we had a discussion about the same thing earlier in the week. I want to fix this thought pattern/behavior for the sake of this relationship as well as my own mental well-being and the possibility of any future relationships.

Here is where I feel like i have to get a little venty with it: I am so frustrated that i am having such a hard time changing - and feeling hurt that it feels like my partner can't accept that their behavior affects me. Should I or shouldn't I be affected by how they are feeling/acting towards me? I feel like I can't help it. If i feel like someone is being short with me should I just smile and ignore it? I dont know if i can! Sometimes i really feel like a sponge for the emotions, interests, and opinion of others and i do feel shame around that. I feel like at ,y age i should be able to be more secure in myself than i am.

I am 36 and i have been in individual therapy since December 2019. The last 5 years have been so crazy. I got sober in the beginning of 2020, my Mom passed away in May of 2020. My dad passed away in 2014 and i have no siblings or other family i am close with. I got married to my ex in 2019 (we had been together since 2016) and we divorced in 2022, after a really hard few years of relationship. After time I am able to recognize the part that I played in the disfunction of our relationship. I met my current partner in the fall of 2022.

Therapy has been really helpful for me to process everything, stay sober, and be introspective about my thought process. Ive learned through therapy that i struggle with cognitive distortions. I do have depression and take antidepressants. Also discussing with my therapist that i likely have adult ADHD, but have yet to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I do also work full-time, as does my partner.

Through the course of this relationship, I have put more emphasis on self improvement and introspection. I have also had periods of deeper depression where this hasn't been possible.

I have talked specifically and extensively about this pattern with my therapist: how to not take things so personally, how to not make assumptions about how people are feeling, and how to not be so affected by the feelings and actions of others. I feel like I can make progress for a week or two, with lots of effort, but as soon as i let my guard down I always fall back into the same pattern. I would love to feel more secure personally, and I would really appreciate not hurting my partner. I feel like my thoughts and fears start swirling in my head and I lose sight of what I logically know to be true and reality.

I would really appreciate any advice on how i could proceed with this, and actually change these thought patters for good. Should i also crosspost this in the relationship advice subreddit? Thanks so much if you have read this far, and i really hope i got the paragraph formatting right!

Whenever you’re anxious about a presentation, or an important task you have to get done, what makes you feel that way?

Does your heart race, do you have butterflies in your stomach, or do you need a new t-shirt from sweating through the one you’re wearing?

We can all relate to the physical manifestations of stress and whether it’s from a specific event or just our minds highlighting the worst case scenario that will likely never even happen it all feels the same.

So if thinking can cause stress why not use our minds to reduce it or take it away completely?

The Body Is The Key

All these symptoms are occurring in the body and giving our brains reasons to analyze and determine whether the external world is a threat or not.

Think about it this way, roller coasters are fun but tests are uncomfortable and anxiety inducing, even though it’s the same exact response from our bodies.

Adrenaline is kicked on and cortisol is flowing through the system, and while this is beneficial in short cycles it will degrade our health and mindset when it’s constantly elevated.

However, by having a focus on taking care of our bodies we can realize that feeding our organs cortisol all day is like having a cocktail with breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

It Goes Both Ways

Our bodies have an extensive network of nerves that control everything necessary to keep us alive and performing at our best.

So while our body responds to our brain, it also works in the opposite, because our nervous system is composed of two lane highways covering ever inch of us.

When one lane comes down there’s another going right back up to control the constant ups and downs of our physiology and maintain balance.

Here’s why that’s important, I can use the knowledge of the body to create a calming effect on my brain and nervous system.

For example, breathwork practices can mimic similar patterns our bodies go through during exercise.

Only in this case, it will not cause an increase in cortisol, because we’re not actually exercising, and will instead create a decrease in those same stress hormones.

Slow and deep breathing patterns stimulate stretch receptors in our lungs and create blood pressure changes within the arteries in response to the expansion and contraction of the rib cage.

When the brain senses these changes it responds by sending out relaxation signals to the body to normalize the high blood pressure spikes during prolonged exhales and come back to rest.

The best part is those relaxation signals are affecting the whole body rather than just the heart and lungs.

Causing a reduction in muscle tone and slowing brain wave activity to promote a sense of calm in both mind and body.

If you’ve never tried breathwork or meditation practices I would highly encourage anyone to add them into their lifestyle in one way or another.

While I believe both are equally valuable the breath work techniques will have a greater physiological response than meditation due to the physical changes described earlier.

With just 10 minutes a day you will feel results instantly and with prolonged practice you will benefit from becoming less reactionary to external events with the confidence of having another tool to take care of your body and mind.

The easiest practice to adopt is the box breathing method that has been very popular and used by Navy SEALS, it involves taking a 4 second inhale, followed by a 4 second hold, then a 4 second exhale, again followed by a 4 second hold.

Try 5 rounds of this breathing pattern and see how you feel.

I’m in a really stressful, hurtful situation and cannot just remove myself at this moment because things take time and don’t happen instantaneously.

How do I keep myself from reacting negatively towards a person who is causing me extreme stress and hurt when they keep choosing to interact with me?

It’s like I can’t control myself from saying something negative to them. They question what time I’m doing something (when it’s frankly none of their business) and I can’t help but say “is that okay?” after telling them what time I’m doing what they questioned. How can I find the self control to stop doing this??? My anger and hurt just takes over.

So,when socializing with people, i noticed that i tend to be very withdrawn emotionally, I dont like talking about myself, let alone sharing my feelings and emotions (horror) and I tend to feel very disconnected from people and left out. I feel like theres a glass wall between me and people at all times. How can I become more emotionally invested in general if thats even a thing?

This post might end up being long but I will still try to be concise. This is more of a rant. Sorry if it does not fit the sub, let me know where to post this.

I'm going to turn 23 next month and I'm absolutely lost in life. I have no job, no friends, even my relation with my family is not good.

I completed my bachelor's in I.T. two years ago when I was 21. I have been jobless since. I thought I was good with computers so I chose I.T. but now I'm struggling. After looking through all the options I decided to become a front end web developer because that seemed like the easiest option and also something that I could understand to some extent. I have realised I'm not even good at that. I just can't seem to keep up with market requirements to get even an internship. I always get scared thinking that I might get a job or an internshi I struggle a lot with confidence and have had depression for years now. All of this lead to me not doing any internships during my college time. I have been a NEET for the past two years and I hate it. My friends and classmates have went on to finish their master's or have landed a job while I stay at home wondering where it went wrong for me.

I always struggled with confidence, self esteem and self image so I was happy that one and a half year of my college was spent online. Once I started going to college physically, all these problems got amplified. I saw guys that were taller, fitter, muscular, talented, good looking, well dressed and confident. I just got even more sad. I wasn't eating properly so I got even skinnier making me look some what sick with sunken eyes and thin frame. When I was in school, I couldn't wait to go to college to enjoy the college life that I had heard about. By the time I reached college I was already a mess. I have so many regrets that I wasn't able to do anything in college. I just wanted to be confident enough to attend all the fests and maybe talk to people.

Since I was 16 my relationship with my parents got worse. I did not feel valued even after getting good grades so I decided not to go to tuition classes anymore. My parents did not like this decision of mine, they thought I would fail in 12th grade the result of which is important to get admission in college. I had a negative experience at my previous tuition so once I got out of it I did not want to go back to any tuition again. Also confidence issues again, I did not know how to dress so I would try not going out because I did not feel comfortable in clothes. My parents at that time felt like my enemies. My mother would say so many vile things and how she is going to beat up me real bad when I eventually fail in 12th grade. Everyone else's parents support them by listening to their problems and helping them. Mine were doing the exact opposite. Fear of failing and it's consequences was the only thing keeoing me going. At this time I was already depressed and lonely. I kept it hidden from everyone. My school friends started drifting away but I still tried to stay in touch. Once the results for 12th grade were out and I passed with average score, things settled down a bit. My parents' behaviour changed a bit but I just couldn't forgive them for the two years of hell. I had people back then but still felt lonely because no one cared to listen to what I had to

I have feelings for a girl. It is a weird story but long story short. After many years I saw her in college. I wasn't able to tell her my feelings and ask a few things. I felt bad because she would run away from me. So I decided to try and avoid her as much because I did not want to ruin her college experience. Sometimes I would catch her staring at me. Sometimes with disgust/anger and sometimes I don't know what. I never got the balls to go up to her and just talk because everytime we made eye contact she looked scared or not wanting to talk. I cannot explain properly. But as I said sometimes I would catch her staring at me when I wasn't looking so this has confused me a lot. Recently learned that she has moved far away and it is impossible for me to contact her again. I saw her linkedin and I felt like a failure. My lack of job experince made me feel bad for myself. I'm happy for her that at least she is doing good and has moved on in life. My brain for some reason is still obsessed with her. Every morning I wake up and I'm good for a few minutes until I remember her then I get sad. I start wondering what she must be doing now, she might have found herself a boyfriend, new friends and I feel bad. I just wanted to be with her in college and spend time together. My intentions were never to hurt her but I was too dumb as a child to handle that situation maturely. I find other girls attractive but don't feel like getting into a relationship with them. I always feel like what if she comes back. What if she's single, what if she still has feelings for me. Nothing can happen between her and I. I just wanted to tell her a few things and ask a few things to get everything cleared out so I could also move on with my life. I could keep going on and on on this point but it has already gone too long.

During college my family moved away from my childhood home to a different place not far away. After moving there I started noticing that my neighbourhood friends who lived near my childhood home started to act differently. All of a sudden they don't have time anymore. Which I understand because everyone was recently starting their jobs or was studying. I would ask them when they were free so I could visit them. Even on the decided date they would only spend 5-10 minutes before they had to leave for some chore. Or they would straight up not meet due to different reasons. I would spend 1 hour or more to travel there and another hour to go back home just to meet them for a few minutes. I decided that I would not go back to that place again and haven't since. I stopped messaging them first and realised that they never message me at all. Only been called twice in 2 years, maybe when all their other friends were busy so they remembered me. Most of my school friends were shit. They made fun of me for a lot of things and did not respect me. It took me a long time to understand this but once I did I stopped talking to them. I had a few good friends from school but I would get so easily frustrated because of my depression that I pushed them all away. They all were happy people and I just couldn't match with their energy. It is hard to explain to everyone how I am feeling. In real life no one gives a fuck if you have depression. I made a few friends in college too whom I would hang out with. We would all share our sorrows each time we met but this was a cycle that kept repeating every time we met. Misery loves company or whatever. I'm not talking to them anymore either but atleast they know that I have problems and I ghost people when I can't handle myself. At this point I'm completely lonely.

I have been weird since childhood. I doubt I might be autistic to some extent. In my head I always say I'm socially retarded. Since childhood I have felt like I was different. Like I did not belong with these people. I struggle with making and maintaining friendships while everyone else seems to be naturally good at it. I don't speak unless spoken too. I keep my conversations short with strangers, trying to be as concise as I can to quickly end the conversation. I struggle with maintaining eye contact. I tend to do things on my own/alone. I avoid social interactions and places where I might have to socialise. I avoid any sort of events/parties etc. because I just don't understand what to do. I abandon people the moment I feel like their behaviour has changed, I want close relations but I get a weird feeling when someone starts getting close to me. I might have schizoid personality disorder because the symptoms seem very similar to what I am like. All of this has led to me being lonely with no close friends.

After graduating from college I have been jobless and this led to my relationship with my parents deteriorating again. My mother again started saying vile things. Recently I told them that I need to go to a psychiatrist and they agreed. I got diagnosed with major depression. I thought my psychiatrist might listen to my feelings but he justs asks how I'm feeling and then prescribes me antidepressants. They have been a bit understanding since then but I just can't forgive them for the past years. I have realised that my parents' love is conditional and that is why I despise them. Once I started doing things that I want they started to hate me. They want me to be their obedient little child. All of this is why many years ago I decided that once I get a job, I would run away. But I haven't been able to get a job and I'm stuck at home, no one to talk to. I'm going to pay them all the money they are spending on my mental health right now and some other things but I don't want to live with them forever.

Only in the last year I have understood that it is ok for me to have feelings and talk about it. I have a few more things on my mind but I don't know how to write it down and post has already got too long.

I really wanna work on myself and never repeat the same mistakes again but I'm not sure. I'm scared that all the work I will put in,all the hours and tears trying to improve every aspect of my life won't be worth it. I feel like the things I've said or did in the past will always haunt me no matter how much work I will put in. I feel like even if I achieve every single goal I have everything from the past will come back to haunt me and I will be forever alone and miserable. Sometimes I just wish to go back and stop myself from doing stuff. To punch my younger self for the things she did. Maybe all this won't be worth it....I'm afraid.

Edit: I kinda worded things the wrong way. I actually meant to ask if these past mistakes will define me even if I start improving myself,I know that you can't make up for the past

First off, please note that I already am doing EVERYTHING to meet like minded people. Forums, reddit, discord servers, events. All of it ends with people either ghosting me or trying to sell a course.

I have like minded people personality and hobby-wise, but career-wise I have none at all. There is noone with the same ambitions as me or that I could automatically lean on and partner up with once I get a crazy business idea. Any attempt at finding such person ended up unsuccessful. Lots of people seem to place a high importance on this however, and I don't see how I would be able to grow without this one loyal person that I could work with and do absolutely everything with, including sharing ideas, brainstorming, etc. Building a career and hustling feels like such a hopeless fight when you are alone.

Fear and anxiety are emotions we only feel when we’re in danger! Except that’s not true, they’re emotions we feel when were uncomfortable with an idea or situation.

We know deep down that real growth requires discomfort. Pushing our boundaries, tackling challenges, taking on something unknown; that’s where growth happens. Yet, when faced with that hard conversation or starting a new project, what do we do? We flinch. We delay. We shrink back into a smaller, lesser version of ourselves.

It's a paradox: we desire the future version of us, the resolved conflict, the successful venture. And yet the immediate fear paralyzes us from taking action. This contrast of what we feel vs what we want shouldn’t go unnoticed.

What if that fear and anxiety isn't a warning sign, but rather a signpost? Highlighting the direction and significance of the task ahead? The greater the fear, perhaps the greater the opportunity for growth on the other side.

Fear isn't an obstacle to bravery; it's a prerequisite…

I want some friends that are into self improvement, those that have a interest in the theory of it, have read books on the topic and like to discuss what works and what doesn't.

I have been to some of such groups, but the once I have been into, are filled with trolls. They typically have a few short comments on every topic, generally not useful and sometimes mocking/ridiculing comments. I have got great commentary on question/answer format forums like this one but they aren't friends after the short discussion we wouldn't talk again.

I want some friend circle that will like long discussions, know each other and have a general interest in growth even if that is not the central point everytime. We could also describe it as a self improvement/ accountability group that goes beyond.

Does such a community exist, that I could join or would some of you like to create one with me.

Today was tons of fun. I woke up and played some phone games to wake myself up. I then cleaned up the kitty's area until it looked nice and pretty for the precious baby. I did some writing and headed off to work. It was honestly a very nice work. I was constantly busy between customers, filling the cases, or helping to prepare stuff. I felt good and in sync with myself. I got to be sarcastic and have fun with my coworkers. It was overall just a great work day. It was absolutely gorgeous outside as well. I had to run to the store to grab breadcrumbs for the place and the sun was absolutely stunning. I can't wait for this weather to be like this for more than just a day. Getting to go out in the middle of work was nice just to feel the beautiful day. I also thought about ideas for baking when working. I want to make poppy seed baking items. I always loved poppy seed baked goods and would love to make my own. I also want to make homemade poppy seed buns with poppy seed throughout it rather than just on the outer surface of the bread. I also talked to my coworker about a chicken thigh peanut dish she made and I finally got the recipe for it. That means I can clear the thighs from my freezer soon enough making Mom very happy. We also discussed egg bites that could be used for meal prepping. Overall it was a smooth work day where I got loads done. I felt good interacting with the customers and I made myself some good food to go along with it. I had some good thoughts and great talks with the coworkers. It was then time for the gym with leg day at full tilt. I was going to try some squats by myself and they went well. It was painful but my form is getting better and better. I saw short haired gym bro and talked to him for a while. He thinks my cousin and long haired gym bro are a thing. I'm not so sure about it since I talk to them both but whatever makes them happy. I did the rest of my exercises. I didn't up the weight though because I think doing squats twice this week really took it out of my body. I then went to do my cardio and the stair master was murdering me today and that is really where I can tell the squats were taking me out. I then went to the treadmill and spent most of the time talking to short haired gym bro. It was a nice time and here was my routine:

Smith machine with 3 exercises:

Romanian Deadlifts: Reps of 10 8 8 with weight increasing by 10 each time to be just the bar at 20 lbs +160 lbs, +170 lbs, +180 lbs

Note: Increased weight except final.

Hip thrusts: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 10 each time to be just the bar at 20 lbs +120 lbs, +130 lbs, +140 lbs

Squats: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 10 each time to be just the bar at 20 lbs +10 lbs, +20 lbs, +30 lbs

Seated leg press: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight typically increasing by 5 each time to be 115, 120, and 125 pounds

Note: Did 40, 45, 50 pounds at the end of each set only doing one leg 4 times each.

Leg extension: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 5 each time to be 110, 115, and 120 pounds

Seated leg curl: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 5 each time to be 100, 105, and 110 pounds

Hip adduction: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 5 each time to be 140, 145, and 150 pounds

Hip abduction: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 5 each time to be 130, 135, and 140 pounds

Note: Increased weight.

25 minutes of the stair stepper. I upped how fast it went after 10 minutes from 44 steps per minute to 60.

33 minutes on the treadmill at 3 mph with an incline of 15 to end it off.

After the gym I stopped at the bank and store. I had a bunch of thoughts going through my head. One was thinking about seeing Princess Mononoke in 4K at the theaters. I could have an extra cheat day this week and go for some popcorn at the movie theater. It could be a nice little reward day for everything going on. I've always wanted to see this movie and the big screen would make it even better. I also was thinking about the new Switch and everything going on with it. I think I'll wait for the new Pokémon version one to come out before I consider getting one. Also when I have a little more money in the pocket. I go home and have a nice conversation with my brother. I then listen to a stream before the night of my night just turned sour. I don't know if it was getting home late or forgetting my charger at the gym but I just felt blah. I sadly let it get the best of me and went to bed early and didn't get much done. I didn't really eat anything except something quick to get food in my belly. I enjoyed my favorite streamer but something about this night felt off. I didn't get the work I wanted done. But you know what? I have tomorrow. Once I'm out of work I will go to the gym, get out early since it is a cardio day, and work hard since I'll have a few days off from work. I'll make up those few days and make them amazing. I can't let one day ruin progress and just have to push through it. No need to live in the past in failure but instead learn and adapt from it to make a better tomorrow. I got this and here is what I ate:

Lunch:

15 g pretzel - ~60 calories (~1.5 g protein)

155 g beef patty - ~330 calories (~29.1 g protein)

21 g homemade meat stick - ~95 calories (~4.8 g protein)

132 g tomato - ~25 calories (~1.2 g protein)

150 g peppers - ~60 calories (~2.7 g protein)

30 g clams casino - ~50 calories (~2.4 g protein)

152 g strawberry - ~55 calories (~1.0 g protein)

After Workout Snack:

FairLife Core Power - 230 calories (42 g protein)

Dinner:

530 g strawberry - ~190 calories (~3.4 g protein)

200 g eggplant pie - ~250 - 350 calories (~14 - 18 g protein)

Note: Going for the high end since it is difficult to truly guesstimate.

Dessert:

15 g candy - ~65 calories

SBIST was just feeling good working at my job today. I don't know what it was but I felt solid today working hard and getting things done. I had a ton of inspiration for working on recipes in my head and thinking about making different food for my personal life. I felt kind of sassy as well with my coworkers but in a good way making good banter. I don't know what it was but my morning was top notch compared to my evening. Some days it will be like that and I will try to keep my morning work momentum going into the next work day.

Tomorrow the plan is to wake up early and call my gym to put aside my phone charger. Then I plan on doing some writing before going off to work. It should be a quick work day where I will then be doing a light cardio day at the gym. I'm going to go on the treadmill with my backpack for an hour or maybe an hour and a half. I will then get home and start working on the important stuff. At some point I'll heat up my leftovers and keep working afterwards. It will be a great day that I definitely plan on making the most out of. No souring of the mood tomorrow. Full steam ahead with a smile. Thank you my conjurers of the sourness. Sometimes you take me away and stop me from progressing but then I realize some of the best sweets are sour. But the sweet always comes later and I'll use that part to my advantage.