I feel so awkward right now. I saw someone I haven’t seen in a while and I went in for a hug and they put their hand up for a high five instead. I obviously am not upset at them for having boundaries, I just feel stupid for assuming a hug was appropriate. Does anyone else feel like this? Again, I am not upset that the person did not want a hug, I just feel dumb for assuming it was okay 😓

I consider myself a pretty good listener. I enjoy listening to people, but I find that when people talk to me, they talk without pausing very long, so that I rarely get a moment to respond aside from a laugh or nod. I feel strange having to search for a microsecond of a pause to essentially interrupt them, in order to speak. I guess I'm not giving signals that show that I have something to say or are people uncomfortable with pauses? I don't know. Do other people feel this way?

I have seen this happen so many times. People disliking someone but pretending to be close friends, sending them gifts for their birthday even though that person is miles away or people just letting vile stuff slide. Even when we disregard the social factor.

When i don’t like someone or if they cross a certain line it’s like something flips and i just cut them out because the very thought of faking it exhausts me to the core. It sometimes makes me feel like maybe i just have a low tolerance because literally everyone i see is friends with people they don’t like.

I recently learned about a communication trick where you ask a question and then intentionally say nothing—just let the silence sit. It’s surprisingly effective in job interviews, sales, and even casual conversations.

Apparently, most people feel uncomfortable with silence and end up filling the gap, which can lead to more honest or detailed responses.

Has anyone here used this in real life? Did it feel awkward at first, or did it work smoothly?

Yesterday I was approached by an older woman claiming to be homeless and asked me to buy her something to eat. I did it because I was in an emotionally vulnerable state of mind and I felt guilty for prioritizing my problem over hers. So I ended up spending $15 on food for her.

I don't get stopped often and I've said no in the past, but I feel so gross about it. I mean, I felt bad after spending money on that woman as well, so there's no winning. I'm in the city for college and I can't maintain a job while also staying up to date with school, so I'm living off old paychecks and my tax return. I don't have money to give to charity, but having the social pressure of a sudden conversation makes me feel pressured to give something.

How do I just... not care about being seen as an asshole? I don't like talking to people on the street PERIOD but I'm always worried someone will think I'm brushing them off because of their economic status.

I was talking with my therapist about times where people singled me out and tried to antagonize me/take advantage of me. I argued that it was because they knew I am autistic and were "culling the herd" of undesirable elements.

My therapist said "what if they were just intimidated by you because you're so smart? And they could tell you're so smart because of how you speak etc" which seemed like an irritating attempt to play devil's advocate just to be oppositional. In my opinion people were preying on me because they saw me as weaker, while being intimidated by someone's intelligence is actually out of recognition for their stronger position.

I work a job often associated with very intelligent people anyway, everyone here is intelligent.

Do people really get intimidated by other people's intelligence, which then turns to hostility?

My(29F) coworker(27F) has been pretty friendly to me lately and invited me to one of her parties next month which surprised me considering I’m so quiet and boring.

Externally I am very standoffish, quiet and emotionally inexpressive, I’ve been told I come off like I’m super bored all the time. People will mention how they forget I’m even at work sometimes I talk so little. I do have my moments when I’m more talkative but for the most part that’s how it is.

On the very off chance someone wants to hang out with me, I clam up. Internally I am desperately wanting to fit in and feel a part of things, which is why I am also so standoffish I think. And when there’s like a sliver of a chance I might begin to, I freeze up. I avoid the person, don’t know what to say to them, become anxious I’m gonna fuck things up, etc. It feels so nice to feel possibly accepted or liked and I just want it to stay that way. I don’t want them to start talking to me and become disappointed with how boring I am. If I keep to myself and don’t talk, no one really knows me so they can’t really judge me accurately. But once they do try to talk to me, they might find I’m just as boring as I come off and lose interest and then I’ll feel even worse about myself than I already feel.

I’d like to be friends with this coworker, she seems really cool. Today she walked by me and put a crumpled receipt paper in my pocket and walked away. She walked by me a few minutes after and said yes it was trash, jokingly. I just smiled and continued on with my day. I feel like she’s trying to be playful or whatever, and I love it, as sad as it sounds it makes me feel included and maybe acceptable. But I don’t know how to respond to it.

What should I do from here? I overthink everything.

I immigrated to the U.S. 10 years ago as a young skilled engineer. Before that I worked for well known international companies, but despite my qualifications, I couldn’t get a decent job for five years. During that time, I lived in difficult financial circumstances, unable to support my family properly. Eventually, I went back to school, got a master’s degree, and now have a dream job that exceeds what I ever expected.

But even though my life is objectively good now, I still struggle emotionally even after 5 years of leaving that life. I feel deep resentment—toward the fact that it took me much longer than others to succeed, while I watched people around me find jobs and settle in easily. I also resent my own community for not stepping up to help when I was struggling. I faced those years alone, and no one offered a hand and now that things are better, it’s hard to just “play along” with socializing. I know that they don't owe me anything but being nice and supportive to someone who's going through hell costs nothing.

As a result, I’ve lost a lot of faith in humanity and in social connections. I feel like most interactions are shallow and transactional, and I struggle to enjoy social events because I don’t believe in the authenticity of the relationships. Yet, at the same time, I feel lonely and crave real, meaningful connections.

Currently, my family—my wife, kids, parents, and siblings—are my only true support system. But since my parents and siblings live overseas, I also need to build connections here. The problem is, I’m stuck in a cycle: when I isolate myself, I feel lonely, but when I socialize, I feel frustrated and disconnected.

I know I want to regain my faith in people and ai want to find genuine people, I want to form real bonds with people who would be there for me through good and bad but as an immigrant, I feel like I'm always on the outside looking in which make it incredibly difficult to build connections.

How do I break out of this cycle? How can I move past the trauma and resentment and build connections that actually feel meaningful?

Would love to hear from others who have experienced something similar or have insights.

Hey, I dont really know where else to post this but. I'm a 17 year old and so are my group of friends. We planned to see the minecraft movie on Friday. I was anticipating this as I dont go to the movies with friends much (and making fun of the minecraft movie was a funny idea). But I saw on an Instagram story that they went to watch the movie without me or telling me at all. At this point this isn't about the movie. I really think I'm just a school friend and nothing else. But I have been invited to other stuff so idk. I hope someone on here will help me. Thanks

I've recently started working on my occupation from home on a computer after graduating high school. As much as I enjoying getting a lot of work done, I've noticed that when I do get out of the house my social skills have taken a noticeable decline. It's really difficult when I don't have the opportunity to get daily practice talking with other people my age at high school.

I have this weird predicament I’m wondering if anyone else deals with something similar. I have a tight friend group from back home and never had issues with them. However I now move frequently for work.

Every time I go to a new location, everyone I work with is very interested in me and usually very excited to be around me for the first couple months. I’m very outgoing and usually funny so it’s easy to make new friends at first.

The issue seems to be keeping friends with new people. Every time I meet someone new after a month or two they seem to avoid me and disassociate from me. I have no idea what I could be doing to make people feel this way towards me. This has been going on like clockwork for years, it’s impossible to ignore the pattern at this point.

I always hear about my co workers getting together but I almost never catch an invite after the first few months. It’s awkward cause I’ll see them all out together on social media, they’ll avoid talking about it at work though.

Only thing I can think of is I’m always the first to leave a function (sometimes hours before anyone else leaves) but I’m a morning person so staying up late doesn’t suite me.

Does anyone else have a similar issue?

just as the title says. I know that real life socializing is probably the best and most natural but i find it really hard to engage in deep conversations and be myself around the people in my town, we just have so little in common. but i do have some online friends that I enjoy talking to for hours and hours and i was wondering if that's at least better than just sitting alone all day listening to your thoughts or doom scrolling social media.

I know one thing that when i feel happy i feel extroverted and when m not i dont infact at that time all i do is think too much doubt myself too much confidence goes down and stuff and vice versa happens when i feel happy.

I'm 18 and turning 19 in May saw I'm curious what is you realization about social interactions that help you to become good at talking

I feel like I’m sometimes quiet and don’t talk a lot. I need to make myself talk more

At this point I’m in my early thirties and I’ve never made any close friends outside of online in my late twenties. It seems now I’m even struggling making friends online. I’ve tried joining groups and being outgoing, I think I can be pretty funny in a blunt dead pan way and have been told I’m funny by people. I’ve seemed to have this very issue going back to childhood and it’s quite upsetting. I’m starting to think something is fundamentally wrong with me. I thought I’ve had friends before but now thinking back even when I considered someone my best friend I wasn’t there’s. I got married a year ago and thank gosh we just eloped I wouldn’t have had a single friend to be my bridesmaid.

Anyone got any advice? I’ve tried to just be myself and be invested in making connections but they fizzle out before they even begin.

Hey guys I'm working on a short quiz that gauges your core personality traits with deep questions, both good and bad, in order to help you amplify your good traits and tone down the bad ones or use them for good to get better social skills

All I'm trying to do is gauge interest in these question types and whether they hit or not to get a real, deep response, not just some surface level stuff.

Quiz link: https://forms.gle/jcfXE1WQKT7ncwqj8

Your responses and feedback are super helpful! I really appreciate it

I don’t even know if this is the appropriate sub but this is something that really hinders me socially, so.

I recently had a run in with a past situationship/friend person and the way I handled it was so atrocious that I have awakened to this insane theme of mine where I just toss people out of my life when I feel emotionally threatened and then I realize I fucked up and try and smooth it over. But I do this on repeat so it’s actually insane.

He’s had enough of this pattern and is clearly done and the pain from that is something I just don’t want to keep reliving. I want to learn how to healthily attach to people and have normal expectations and regulate myself emotionally but I cannot afford a therapist at the moment. I am autistic and had/have a horrible relationship with my dad which I think is what caused this pattern but at this point it’s not an excuse, I’m 26. I feel deeply ashamed of my emotional instability and really want to fix this. I don’t want to push away another person I really care about. I absolutely hate being hyper self aware all the time until I’m emotionally triggered and then poof I become this unhinged psycho.

Anyone who’s been through something similar and healed, would love to hear any advice.

I’m 25 male and I’ve got a quite small handful of mates that I feel close with, 3-4, and they’ve all got their own groups they’ll hang with which is all good. I’m struggling to push past like an initial acquaintance stage in work especially as well as gym and sports. I can banter and have a laugh with the guys that work there and we’ll also say hey and chat and work well together, but outside of these I never see any one of them. I hear them talk to other people at work and they will talk about what they both went and did together or a group of people will go out for a night, but I seem to never get the opportunity. Am I doing something wrong, am I a bother or annoyance, or am I just overthinking. I am naturally a more shy guy than not but I have noticed myself coming out of the shell this last year.

How do I intiate small conversations with people ? Like just asking how you are doing . So that people don't find me rude.

For instance I just go dumb when I have to talk to people in social situations. Especially people older or younger than me as there is literal no common interest between us. Words don't get to my brain or even if they do I find myself physically unable to speak .

The small amounts of interactions I have with people for my school stuffs or with relatives are all pre- discussed with my parents.

Even if I am comfortable with a person but meet them after a long time which can be just a week later ... I will again go dumb with them and would need some time again to adjust with them.

I have always been like this... and earlier people used to call me being a sensitive child (complimented me for being shy ) but now as I am getting older ... their are certain social expectations from me.

I have a huge needines problem and Im sure that is turning people away from me. I cant do anything in life without daydreaming how I am going to get validation and attention and its driving me crazy. Im not even sure if I like my hobbies or Im just doing them because I heard it helps with neediness.

I dont really see the problem in my actions because I do everything by the book. I actually think I have great social skills, Im able to talk to strangers, I can talk to both guys and girls, I hold decent eye contact and body language, I make people laugh all the time, dont talk or dress wierd, have interesting hobbies (brewing beer, playing 3 instruments, kickboxing, gym, reading, cooking), and of course going to therapy.

My issue is that this doesnt come naturally to me, I was terrifed of people my age and had panic attacks regularly after going out and im scared that I can never make up for not being a dumb teenager and that im destined for a life of loneliness at 22 because i only have a year of college left. I think Im too old to salvage my social life. Im always scared, cofused, sad and angry because they all have the same amount or even worse social skills and they are doing just fine.

There must be something really wrong with me that everyone else sees and avoids me like the plague that I cant seem to figure out.

I mean neediness cant be that bad right? Im just scared of being alone and that makes me the most disgusting unwanted guy ever? I heard how people talk about needy guys. Even people who do drugs, are rude and selfish are better than me? If thats the case Im not sure I want to take part in socializing anymore and would rather be on my own until I eventually go mad.

I know everyone has flaws and insecurities but here I’m not talking about people with normal weaknesses. I’m talking about the type of person who is lying to everyone (including loved ones), is extremely likeable, friendly and sociable and everyone thinks of them as kind people, but it’s just an act. People who have been close to them are at first really into them, but later they become enemies. I’ve met 2 people that are like this, and they were extremely similar.

They tend to never admit their mistakes and are highly defensive everytime someone makes the slightest judgment. Really petty and willing to lie about anything if it benefits them. They are competitive and tend to act in their workplace or university is a way that they belittle their coworkers/ classmates to the teachers/ managers. They always try to get all the attention or benefits on themselves. They are extremely two faced and they think poorly of literally everyone. They were also promiscuous and dated more than one person at the same time, keeping it a secret.

I’ve find it fascinating that those 2 people were extremely similar in the way they behave and think. Functional characters that share those traits could be Regina George or Miranda Priestley. I was wondering, what is the explanation of people like that? What makes them that way and how do they not feel drained putting all this energy trying to appear different than their true self ?

i have to give a speech tomorrow for a high school class- i already get so scared to present, last time we presented i started to stutter and couldn't remember anything and somebody had to finish my portion of the slides for me. and this was after i practiced and was actually interested in the topic.

this time is going to be even worse, because i have a dumbass topic- why this certain fast food chain is the best/why you shouldn't go to its competitor. however, we had to submit a script for it a week ago, and i only realized it 20 minutes before the deadline and submitted some random bs. its so trash and so embarrassing, and everybody else has normal topics- healthcare inequality, illusion of freewill, basically stuff that you could sound professional about.

im not funny enough to make this topic work, but i feel like taking the professional route will make me sound even more dumb? even worse, we have to follow the script we submitted last week, and thats going to be so embarrassing. i can't go up there and present something so bad. at least the presentation i messed up before was well done, and i had the slides behind me to look off of. this time i have nothing.

is there anyway to do this speech well, despite having such a bad script? like its straight bs, we had to write it like an essay, with quotes and 3 lines of reasoning, ethos, pathos, logos, and five vocab words, but saying all that like a speech sounds dumb asf.

i need tips to do this well or at least get over the humiliation of screwing up. again.

I’m always stunned. I’m not the most social guy but when I turned 16 I’ve been a lot better at the social stuff for some reason, I switched schools a couple of times maybe that has something to do with it.

But anyway, I still have no idea on how to talk to children, they are so different and my mind goes bland. It doesn’t really matter as long as there are no other adults near, I don’t feel any need to small talk to a child, they won’t find it awkward which means I don’t have to and they won’t judge me for not talking. But if someone is watching me that changes everything. If a kid sits next to me at a family event then I have no idea what to say.

What do I say to them? Is it possible to have causal conversations with them?