r/StudentLoans • u/eyesoflazarus • 4h ago
Advice I went to a good school under the impression I had a safety net. I took out Sallie Mae loans, and my grandpa co signed. He died during college and left no will.
I graduated from a liberal arts college and now have 84,000$ in private Sallie Mae loans, and tbh I don’t even know how many in public loans. I assume it’s around 20-30,000$. Even writing this, I’m realizing how bad this is. Going to a good college was all I ever wanted. I did it, got my degree, and now I have no job and no ability to go to graduate school. Currently, I’m taking community college classes to defer my loans so they don’t go to collections. I hate it so much I can hardly bear to make myself do the work. I should be doing graduate level work, but whatever. I already defaulted a couple times prior to taking these classes due to extreme circumstances.
Some background: my grandpa co-signed with me, but he died while I was in college. He helped raise me, and he told me before accepting my school’s offer that he had money saved up in case I ever got in trouble. He showed it to me. It was my safety net. First I would try to pay it myself though. It was agreed upon that I would accept the school’s offer. Fast forward, and a bunch of shit happened after he died, and I believe the executor of his estate destroyed his will. I don’t have any proof, and the executor is a powerful lawyer. Regardless, I was left on my own with no idea what to do.
Him dying destroyed my mental health in such a way that I was unable to attend grad school in a timely manner. Now, it’s sorta too late. I moved back home, and I am miserable. I loved where I lived in college. My options? Continue to live with my parents and take community college classes while hating my life and biding my time, or get a tefl certificate and teach abroad. Or perhaps I can try being an au pair. Since he died, I can flee the country, and no one will be affected but me. Of course, I know the risks of being sued and returning. Id hate not to be able to visit the rest of my family, but it seems like leaving is safer / better anyway. What should I do? I’m scared. I’m about to be 24. This country is a mess anyway; it’s always been. I hate it here, so maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that my debt makes it all the more important that I leave? Help.
I also don’t know how the Trump administration will change things, but I have a feeling it won’t be good. Not that it was good before.
I used to be an over achiever. I’m writing a book. I have a lot of determination, but I feel broken. How do I do this? I don’t have anyone else who can really help me with this. I was never taught about finances, just how to achieve things in a school setting, which is no longer really applicable to me. Please help. Please be nice, too.
EDIT: I want to leave the country regardless of my loans. I’m just scared. It’s a more complex situation than I can explain in one post.