my mom killed herself 2 days ago. i’m 24f.

she was sick mentally. she’s been like that all my life. it’s bipolar. she shot herself. i called our local PD 5 times for welfare checks because i was so worried. i called a crisis line. they did nothing. i talked to judge monk in person who agreed to sign off on the warren for mental health if the cops would bring her in. they went that morning and didn’t bring her in. when they left she shot herself. i called 5 times. they failed her.

im kind of spiraling and just went to the doctor to get checked out. we shared a PCP and they know her so they wanted me to come in immediately. the upped my antidepressants and gave me some xanex for 30 days if needed. she shot herself.

i’m just so at a loss for words. i saw her the night before asking why she keeps getting on pills and doing this to me. i gave her a hug while she was in bed and told her how much i loved her and left.

i’m shattered. a piece of my soul died. i need some encouraging words, please.

I want to join him. I just want my baby. I’ve never experienced pain like this. I don’t know what to do anymore, I can’t find another reason to stay, to live.

YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE YOU PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

I don’t understand how people do this shit everyday. I can’t do it anymore. We’re all fucking miserable.

Literally all we do is work to the bone to feed ourselves for decades until we die. I’m 24 and about to enter the workforce. Why do we do this? Why is working to death an end in itself? I’m not ready to just be another replaceable cog in the machine

I am autistic and life has no meaning for me.

EDIT: thank you everyone for your replies!

i feel it deep in my heart. i have known since i was a young child that i would die by suicide. i knew it then just as much as i know it now. i can’t keep living like this. i can’t keep feeling like this. there’s no out, no happy ending, nothing that i long for or desire, there’s no joy, no love for me, and there is nothing i can do about any of it.

I swear to god I'm killing myself. I've been through too much. There's only so much a human being can go through. I've never been happy my entire life.

I attempted to take my life some time ago. I was revived in the hospital and then forced into three months of psychiatric treatment. Overall it was pointless as they just medicated me until I was a yes-man. No coping techniques, no therapy, no lifestyle assistance, just pills.

Now here I am, still wishing I was dead. I was so angry when I was brought back. They took my peace away and I hope they all suffer. I still want to be dead.

i (22f) took an od of 100 truxal (chlorprothixen) 15 mg on wednesday and i had a seizure and then my heart stopped and i had to be resuscitated. now i'm in the psych ward and my kidney is about to fail. i feel so hopeless, i just wanna die. this is the closest i've ever come to death in all my suicide attempts and i don't know if i should cry or rejoice that i made it this close. i just want life to stop, i can't take it anymore, i've been fighting for too long.

I don't want to live when I there's no point in working everyday and still not feeling there's a reason to live. I'm alone, depressed, angry, and broken. I hate being at work and dealing with people. I'm not good enough for anyone. At least that's how they see it. I'll always be single and alone. I think about killing myself everyday. Everyone in this world just invalidates and dismisses what you're going through and then I get extremely angry and think about killing myself right in front of everyone where I work. You all judge me. I'll never be good enough.

im a pathetic asshole that now even fears death. it used to bring me comfort a few days ago when i almost attempted. what if i go to hell? i will, most probably. im trans. i have a disgusting kink that i hate. and im pretty sure i've done other bad things that makes hell a possibility.

While I'm not..I'm just 16 trying hard to bear all this

I have never had life go so good to experience the experience of having a “good life” ripped from beneath your fucking feet, I never want to feel / inves happiness again I never want to feel this negativity FROM positivity, I’d much rather feeling shit from feeling shit. Feeling shit from proper positivity is UN- REAL, in the worst way

I have worked so hard to be positive, I am flipping between life and destruction so strangely flippantly right now, I am shattered

Nearly 30 now and I really should have killed myself in my early 20s. Turned my life around, stopped self harming and got sober. Had a good relationship and job. Now after all that things are a thousand times worse.
It isn't worth starting over with nothing.

Good riddance to this awful world

you can read my prior posts for more context but im basically im tired. im tired of my lust and my sick desires. they completely destroy my self esteem. ive been feeling good for 2 days but not today. i wish i could be normal. i wish i could be confident. i wish my brain wasn't this way

I have attempted 3 times since I was 14-19, the recent one being last December. Came extremely close that time. Yes the feeling never goes away, it gets deeper and I'm numb to a lot of things now, but there is something I've realised. I have found comfort in my suicidal tendencies. It's familiar. These are feelings that I know hit hard and how guy wrenching they are. Feelings I know nobody could ever know how deeply I feel them. But there are things that make me "happy". Things that when I'm doing them, make me forget that I tried to end my life last night. "Suicide is not the answer" I fucking hate that sentence because then what is? Why leave me hanging and helpless with that stupid sentence? I'm still continuing through with my plan, of leaving this world, but after I finally give everything I want to do a try. I Want to dance, I want to complete learning my 5th language, I want to volunteer at a children's hospital, and I want to run as much as I can. It's not about whether doing these will change my mind. Or whether it will make a difference. It's about finally having control over something.

16M. I’m genuinely at the end of my rope at the point. I’ve struggled with my mental health for years due to past abuse and every time I’ve attempted to reach out I’ve been brushed off or criticized. Nobody truly cares, not even my own family, and all I’ve ever received is threats of violence in response to me opening up about self harm or suicide. Last year someone I considered a friend ruined my life by reporting to my school that I was sexually assaulted after I confined in them begging them not to tell anyone. It’s caused me so many issues. I was outed as gay and now face relentless bullying everyday at school to the point I’ve had chemicals thrown on me and people attempt to push me off second and third story balconies. My own family has essentially outcasted me for it, I’ve lost the majority of my friends, and every day I feel like I’m stuck in an endless loop of suffering. The exhaustion doesn’t stop at mental, since apparently the universe hates me for some unexplainable reason. I’ve started having cardiac related seizures and I’m now in constant debilitating pain everyday to top it all off while doctors slap heart monitors on me and treat me like a lab rat giving me no answers besides essentially ‘your heart likes to stop pumping blood’. Maybe it’s a sign, my body is giving up because it knows I’m going to kill myself anyways. I think tonight might be the night if I’m entirely honest. It’s 2AM and I’m sat here a wreck in pain and alone, pondering if there’s even any point in letting myself suffer more. I fucking hate my old friend.

I discovered a mole that’s been growing and been sketchy. My family has a history of melanoma. My first feeling was excitement and “oh my god I hope I have cancer” so I have an excuse to just coast and enjoy life for a few months before I pass away.

IM GOING FUCKING CRAZY I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA HAVE AN EPISODE I WANNA SMASH MY HEAD THROUGH THE WALL AND SHREAD MYSELF UNTIL I CANT BLEED ANYMORE SOMEONE PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME I DONT CARE HOW ANYMORE JUST KILL ME BEFORE I DO IT MYSELF GOD FUCKING FUCK! IF GOD EXISTS HES A FUCKING BASTARD FOR PUTTING ME ON EARTH
(Im not religious but if all of this is my fault im gonna snap my fucking neck)

I don’t have anyone I have very little friends I’m mostly alone with my thoughts or just listen to music all day it’s just kinda shit having no one at times I’m just lonely

My parents left for a week long trip and I was left to watch the house. I had a plan, I ate the forbidden jelly beans (candy I'm not allowed to have not a euphemism), I watched a movie and I was going to but I changed my mind. My parents came home and I got yelled at, like I always do, even if I think I'm not breaking the rules. I'm tired of being autistic, I'm tired of everyone expecting me not to act autistic. I'm tired of being compared to different versions of me that my mother made up in her head of who I would be and who I was. I wish I was allowed to wash my clothes and I wish someone would help me with my executive functioning issues. I am not enough but maybe I would be if I was dead.

For the last decade or more, I have thought about suicide almost daily. And I had to survive a lot of shit because I didn't have the means to take myself out. But I have the means now. I've been reading a lot of medical journals about self-inflicted gunshot wounds. I know the trajectory I need. And the world is fucking falling apart. It's not going to get better. Harsh days are ahead. I may not be typing this if things hadn't gone this direction, but here we are and I don't know how we can get out.

I finally feel like I have some power over something in my life, though.. If it gets too bad, I can just check out. People would be upset and I am sorry for that. But I shouldn't have to be here if I don't want to be. I have no intention of hurting anyone else, I'll just go somewhere tucked away when it's time. The goal is not to be found for awhile. Maybe some animals can have a nice meal of me. Fuck it, don't need my body anymore.

I'm not angry. My meds keep me from being depressed, at least in the way I used to be. I'm just resolute.

I posted here a while ago about my friend who's in debt and constantly made jokes about killing himself.

I saw two days ago he had taken out a life insurance policy on himself. Likely to wipe his debt and leave his wife and child some money. I'm worried about what exactly he's going to do.

I feel powerless, and looking at the amount of money he's insured for really angers me. Hes 33. Is this the amount of money a man's life is worth?

He's said he has enough money to last for two weeks. Hes's also been getting dand ketters for credit card debt and theyre threatening imprisonment. Im worried he's going to do it before then.

I tried raising some money and got a tiny bit together. Nothing near enough to dent his round $5000 debt. Which in our country is a year's salary. I just feel lost and like a failure as a friend.