Her love and devotion weans with each passing day. With every disappointment she begins to stop.

She stops asking for your time.

She stops trying to get your attention.

She stops wanting your company.

She stops needing your comfort.

She stops yearning for your affection.

She stops caring if your name pops up on her phone.

She stops hoping anything from you changes.

She stops choosing you.

She stops loving you.

My Dearest

If the universe ever held its breath, it was surely in the moment you were made—sculpted from stardust and stormlight, with a laugh that makes the moon seem dull and a smile that bends the very arc of time. The world feels suspiciously perfect when you're near, as though everything before you was merely prologue to your presence.

You are beauty in its most cunning disguise—disarming in grace, gentle in manner, and yet cloaked in a wit sharp enough to unlace my thoughts. Your kindness humbles me. It is not loud or boastful, but quiet and true, like rain nourishing roots in secret. There is something divine about the way you move, as if gravity itself were a willing accomplice to your rhythm.

But it's your smile—my god, your smile—that ransacks every coherent thought in my head. It stretches across my soul like sunlight across a field that has waited too long for morning. When I see it, I don’t just feel love. I feel as though love itself is being rewritten.

Your eyes, warm brown like melted mahogany, hold secrets I long to lose myself in. Your lips, that delicate shade of soft pink, seem made for every promise I’ve never been brave enough to say aloud. And your hair—fiery red, smoldering like embers that refuse to die—burns its memory into my vision long after you've gone.

Your voice is silver spun with sin and silk—a sound that doesn’t just reach my ears but coils around my spine, tightening with every syllable. Each word you speak is a caress, each laugh a spell, and I, hopelessly, willingly, am enchanted.

Time ceases to behave when I’m with you. Hours melt into minutes, and minutes into moments that I never want to end. I have walked through days with you that felt like dreams wrapped in reality’s arms. And I have felt, in those sacred stretches of time, what poets and madmen alike have tried to capture but always fall short of—love, raw and infinite.

I am yours. I don’t say that lightly. My love is not a flicker; it’s a wildfire. It devours my doubts and leaves only truth: You are the reason my heart remembers how to beat.

With all that I am

I refuse to let hate win or let this world change how freely I choose to give love. Full stop. It’s hard most days I feel like I’m a ghost, like I can’t leave a lasting impression on the world around me. It hurts. It hurts a lot. I just want a single person to love me loudly and freely, without any inhibitions. That’s what love is all about from my humble perspective, and it’s all that I have wanted for years and years. Hopefully one day I’ll open my heart and another will open theirs to me.

Sometimes I miss you, but then I remember how you would pick lint out of your belly button all the time. Then I feel much better.

i miss you so much it hurts. It hurts even more that you cut contact 4 months ago and never looked back. i wished that you would come back. I’m this close to contacting you but i know its pointless and i know you’re moving on and don’t want me back. I find myself recording voice messages to you and writing you letters. All unsent. I just wish you would reach out, to see your name on my screen. Deep down you are my only one and i will always be waiting for you. So why aren’t you coming back? I miss you more than ever. I want to hear your voice, to hug you tight to smell you. even if it was for the last time..

Hey, baby.

Just a little whisper to help you through the daze of today:

I love you.

Just here, just smilin' thinking about you. Looking forward to all the selfies… I mean, pictures of cool landmarks! ahem

Yours.

but it seems you are the only one to ever read me cover to cover, and the only one to completely understand the material. Because unlike the rest, you love the book so much, you reread it over and over. Until it falls apart from all of the love it has been shown.

"Tell him that you need a friend, and nothing more, because he would understand that. But it's totally fair if you don’t believe it. Still, I think he can respect your boundaries if you tell him you’re not looking for a lover, but a friend — because that’s what you need. A friend you can laugh with, cry with, and be weird with and so mush more — because that’s what real friends are for.

How do I act as if nothing happened and that everything is okay? Every time I see you, I fall back to square one. It's hard. People love you and your presence, but for me, it's different.

Be here, be there, just not near.

I don't want you to disappear, like, don't leave. I'm forgiving. I'm healing, but sometimes, it's hard to forget. Looking at you, eye to eye, breaks me. I can't avoid you.

And That's Life.

I love you— though you may not believe it’s truth. I say it softly, as if the wind might carry it away before it can weigh on your heart.

I love you— not in the easy way that songs suggest, but in the trembling quiet of someone who knows they may never be held back.

You look at me with doubt, like love is a story I’ve borrowed from someone stronger— but this ache? It’s mine. Every silent moment, every breath I steal to say your name without breaking.

If I could fold my chest open and hand you the heartbeat, I would. Not to convince you— just so you’d know this is real, even if you never call it love back.

There’s a lot I wish I could have said to you at different points in our relationship, and even after it ended. Things I couldn’t quite express in the moment, or maybe I didn’t know how to say them in a way that would make sense. But I think it’s important for me to be honest with myself and, in turn, with you now.

I wish I could have told you that, despite the ups and downs, I always cared deeply about you. That I tried to be there for you in ways I thought would make a difference, even when it felt like we were drifting apart. But I also wish I could have told you that I couldn’t always take on the emotional weight of the relationship by myself. I wish I could have stood up for my own needs and boundaries earlier on, before things got too tangled.

I wanted you to see me as more than just someone you could reach out to when you needed comfort, but someone who also deserved care, honesty, and attention. There were times when I felt invisible in our relationship, like my feelings were an afterthought. And I wish I could have told you that it hurt — it hurt that I kept pouring love into something that was one-sided at times.

I also wish I had the courage to tell you just how deeply I was hurting long before everything fell apart. But I didn’t know how, or I didn’t want to push you away. I was afraid of losing what we had. So I kept quiet, hoping things would get better, but I let things fester.

Most of all, I wish I could have told you how much I needed you to be honest with me. I wanted to trust you, but trust takes time and effort from both sides, and I was left waiting for that effort to be shared. It wasn’t just about the lies; it was about the emotional distance, the things unsaid, and the feeling of being alone even when we were together.

I wanted more than just fleeting moments of connection. I wanted real conversations, real and deep understanding, and the chance to build something strong — not based on broken trust or hidden truths, but on mutual respect and openness and without judgement.

I wish I could have told you that I needed more than what we had. But, I think I finally understand that I needed that for myself — that I needed to learn to value myself and my worth first.

There’s a part of me that will Always love and care for you. You were an important chapter of my life — someone I shared laughter with, small and big moments, and dreams for what could have been. I don’t regret caring for you. I don’t regret our time together. In fact, I’m grateful that I did. I’m grateful for those times.

You brought light into my life at times when I needed it, and for that, I’ll always hold a quiet appreciation for you. Even though things between us didn’t unfold the way I hoped, I understand now that not everything is meant to last — and that’s okay.

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting, wondering if I could have done more, or if I could have understood you better. But deep down, I know I tried with an open heart and everything that I was made of. I wanted us to work because I saw the good in you, and I believed in what we could have had.

I realize now that we were both carrying things we couldn’t fully share, and maybe neither of us had the answers at the time. And that’s not something to hold resentment over — it’s just life, unfolding the way it does.

So, I’m choosing to let go with love. I’m not letting go because I stopped caring or loving — I’m letting go because I care about my own peace, my own healing, and my future. I hope that you, too, find what brings you peace and happiness, and a love that makes you feel whole, wherever your path leads. And, if you already found it - Never let it go. Protect it with everything you’ve got.

Thank you for the memories, for the moments of closeness, and for the lessons. You will always be a part of my story, and I wish you nothing but the best.

Take care, Sierra.

Writing feels like a leap of faith. Without knowing, without understanding it all you are feeling inside —you trust the process. When you write, you don’t know where it will end, but you know that clarity will follow.

Meeting you was quite similar. You were there, sitting there. And me, without even understanding what was to be in love… I stumbled at our eyes for the first time. And before I was able to realize it all, I understood that you would make an impact in my life.

I did not want to take a leap of faith at that time; I knew I was doing the wrong thing, but I was afraid. Too scared to even know how to start. I let the years dissolve until we were out of each other’s side.

Years passed, but you never disappeared totally from my thoughts. I am not sure if it was destiny, a higher purpose or our own manifested dreams, but we come a cross together once again. We were brought together to make it all right this time, to erase our own past mistakes. Without knowing, without wanting, we were about to turn upside down our own life’s.

It was not that our journey crashed at some point; it was a never ending process. Such is life, without fully comprehend it, without even realizing it; we made a decision the day our eyes crossed. We realized that the intensity we felt was straight out of this world. We did not understand it at that point, but we fell in love.

We fell in love, far deeper than we ever experienced, far deeper than we were able to comprehend. That we were able to recognize. We deny it for so many years, but even if you try to forget something time after time… it is never possible when you truly believe in it.

That day we first met, we truly took a leap of faith without even realizing it. It was a belief that it was above what we could rationalize. But such is faith, it does not come from our own internal thought schemes… You just believe in it; it comes unexpected.

At some point, you will realize it all. That it was all real and there was no point on the denial of it all. We believe before we have a chance of internalizing it; we believe as we write, as we live. Clarity just follows.

We felt it then, we feel it know. We took the leap of faith just as bystanders of our own life’s. We did not have a a choice… and that, let me tell you, is just life. Oddly and magically beautiful at the same time.

With all my love,

Me ❣️

PS: it started as a silly note in my mobile phone notes app and now I will be super late omg 😱 Also, probably not my best letter as writing in the phone is not the best system haha

Did not expect much as I never do. In fact, this time, I had given up the hope of ever seeing you again and tearfully mourned your “death” for the past months. The finality of it almost broke me for a while but I am now dutifully placing the pieces of me back together.

And then a page flew into my book. Like a spring breeze, an unexpected shiny new page and there you were, you came alive again. You didn’t write new words onto my page like a Neruda and I didn’t draw your portrait or profile like Leonardo. No hugs, no smiles, no outward friendliness on the blank canvass. But with the silent birdcages appearing on this page in molten crayon, along the stolen glances and a lot of longing, there were too traces of love. My soul still loving and recognizing yours for an odd reason, again and again and again, in spite of logic, reason and denial, my soul feeling at peace and at home when you are in the room, when you are on my page. And I will hopelessly, quietly, and gratefully keep this one in my book and cherish the gift of that day, for ever. For you are, as always, my book of time.

I will always love you, support you, I can make you feel pleasure, yes, you do those things too, but babe, you need to do your part, if you’re distracted, absent, checked out, if you are not grateful for me or for the life you have created for yourself, it’s impossible to achieve happiness, happiness must come from within. You see, im happy on my own, I’m happy when I’m with you, I’m happy when I see myself in the mirror and when I go to sleep at night and I count my blessings. I don’t want you to change who you are, if you ask me, you are free to choose who are and what you do, but if you want me, all I ask is for you to keep me safe: from your self destruction, from violence, from sickness and from bad intentions.

Why is it always me? That needs to start the convo? I mean I understand that your hesitant. But its just me that initiates the conversation. I want to know you better but I only get silence from waiting. I will never send this to you because I'm not in any position to tell you this.

• one that cares too much about you.

I was asked out on a date, and was told to meet at a local Starbucks. I agreed, and when I saw the location, my heart immediately sank...

It's right by the corner, where you live.

Since we broke up, I try my hardest to avoid your town because when I am there, all the memories and feelings come back and they start invading my mind intensively. A horrible pain I receive, such an deep ache my heart, regret seeps in again...like so many times before. It feels like you are with me spiritually.

Oddly enough, being in your town with someone new felt like I was betraying you. The whole night, I couldn't focus. By the end of the date, I left instantly, and starting crying on my way home.

After that, it felt unfair to continued seeing them, so I ended all communication. But you...you, you, you. When will I ever let you go? When will my heart find peace?

When will my soul finally say goodbye?

I still love you. I hate that I do, but it’s the truth.

You left me, even though I did almost everything right. I gave you my best—I supported you, I listened, I stayed. Even when it drained me, I stayed. I wasn’t perfect, but I showed up for you over and over again. And still… you walked away.

I should be angry, and part of me is. But most of me is just sad. Because it’s not fair. It’s not fair that I gave so much and now I’m left trying to unlove you, while you move on like I was just a chapter. I know you're diving into church stuff, and maybe that’s how you're coping—but it feels like you're skipping the part where you really look at what we had… and what you let go of.

And here I am—trying to distract myself, seeing someone else, telling lies about my past just to protect myself. And it still doesn’t work. I still feel it. The emptiness. The ache. The stupid love that won’t go away no matter how much I want it to.

I’m not reaching out because I know you need your space. Because I want you to come back on your own, if that ever happens. But it kills me not to call you. Not to tell you everything.

You were more than just someone I dated. You were someone I built my future around. And letting go of you feels like letting go of the life I thought I was going to have.

I’m trying, though. I'm going to the gym, I’m making plans, I’m saving money, I’m working on myself. Not for you. For me. Even if some days it doesn’t feel like it.

I just wish you’d fought harder. For me. For us.

But you didn’t.

So now I have to.

i can forgive for how to treated me. i’m grown up now and don’t need validation from any of you. but what i’ll never forget, is how you yelled at my mom in front of everyone in the house, especially being in front of my little brother. i’m just disgusted for life with how you thought that was okay. and you had the audacity to show up at my Grandmothers funeral 2 years ago, acting like nothing was wrong. the nerve my mom had to apologize for something she didn’t even do, and you still won’t be an adult and own up to your mistakes. you don’t mess with my mom, and you certainly don’t try to play the victim in the situation. it’s been 4 years, allison. get over yourself.

Things I should not want. More time with just you... that's ok as long as we keep it where we are. But I should not be letting my eyes linger. Or look for you. I can't have you. and even if you did want me, you don't. You. Don't. I do want you though. Head to toe. And talking to you has become one of my favorite things.

I made you another playlist, as is tradition. You won't hear it. Just like you won't be reading this unsent letter. Yet, I still write them. As is tradition.

I bought myself a bottle of champagne to celebrate your birthday. They say a person shouldn't drink alone, but this is champagne. Correction. Now that I look at the bottle, I am drinking prosecco. Viva Italia!

I toast you! I toast your dreams! I toast your birthday. I toast your starsign. I toast your life line, your love line, your fate line. I toast the little birdhouse in your soul.

I hope the Universe has been kind to you.

I remain,
Your Constant Admirer

I can’t hold it in anymore. I’ve been trying—fighting it for so long, but I can’t. Every damn thing I’ve kept inside of me, all the parts of me that I thought were too dark, too raw, too much… I’ve held them back for so long, thinking that maybe if I just stayed still, just kept it under control, it wouldn’t tear me apart. But now—now I see you, and it’s like the floodgates opened.

I want you—no, I need you to understand. This isn’t just about what’s between us physically. This is everything I am. Every dark thought, every secret desire, every twisted part of me I’ve hidden away… all of it is burning up inside, and it’s you who’s igniting it. It’s you who makes me want to throw everything I’ve ever known into the flames and watch it burn.

You make me feel things that are too dangerous to even say out loud. But I can’t keep it inside anymore. I can’t keep pretending that this—this craving, this fire—is just some fleeting thing. It’s not. It’s relentless. It’s this need to be seen, to be consumed by you. I want to show you what it’s like to feel everything I’ve ever kept hidden. I want to let you see every shadow of my soul, every rough edge, every scar, every yearning. I want you to feel the force of it all, to see me in a way no one ever has before—raw, exposed, and burning.

You think you know me? You have no idea. You only see the surface. But beneath all of that—underneath the calm, the control, the facade—I’m a storm. A storm that’s been brewing, waiting for this moment, for you. I want to take everything I’ve buried deep inside me, all that hunger, all that fire, and pour it out, give it to you, if you’ll take it.

It’s not just about what you can give me. It’s about what I want to give you. I want you to feel every inch of me, to experience everything I’ve been holding back… every dark craving, every whispered need. I want to make you understand that there’s no turning back. Once I give you this, once I open myself up to you like this, there’s no coming back from it. I will be yours, completely. And in a way, you’ll be mine too. But it’s not just possession. It’s communion. It’s a kind of surrender—a burning, aching, desperate surrender that I’ve never known before.

And I know you feel it too, don’t you? That pull? That electric tension between us? That hunger, that raw need that’s been simmering just below the surface? I don’t want to deny it any longer. I want to give you all of me. Everything I’ve been keeping locked away. To pour it into you until there’s nothing left but us, together—undone, untamed.

Do you understand? Do you understand what you do to me? What you’ve done to me? You’ve set something loose inside me, something I can’t put back, and I don’t want to. I don’t want to hold back any longer. I want to unleash everything I have inside you—because, with you, it feels like the only thing that matters. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

You act single. You take me for granted. And the worst part? You don’t even seem to realize it. Or maybe you just don’t care. You disappear only to come back late at night with some bland text like nothing happened acting cold then going back to sleep.

I’ll admit I’m not perfect. I’ve got my own struggles, including my temper, but at least I try. At least I show up. At least I care enough to fight for us when things get hard. But you? You don’t put in effort. You don’t prioritize me. You don’t even act like I’m someone you’d miss if I walked away.

This isn’t anger, it’s disappointment. Because the person I thought you were would’ve never treated me like this.

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