r/WTF 6d ago

This is diabolical

Post image
19.7k Upvotes

603 comments sorted by

8.4k

u/McBiff 6d ago

Imagine sitting on this thing and feeling the scratchy kiss of that stain tickling at your most vulnerable area...

3.5k

u/Electrical_Injury845 6d ago

Why did you describe it so vividly

860

u/Expensive_Finger_973 6d ago

Experience, I would imagine

116

u/SopieMunkyy 6d ago

Imagine experience!

3

u/DickHammerr 4d ago

I’d rather not

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221

u/joeschmo945 6d ago

What a day to be literate.

49

u/lordxi 6d ago

I drink, some days it helps.

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80

u/Jaymanchu 6d ago

A survivor of the 70’s and 80’s.

3

u/SnooCrickets699 5d ago

No way, I'm OAF, and have never seen anything so vile! The lid cover and toilet rug was bad enough

19

u/ObscureParadigm 5d ago

Describe? You can literally see the dark spot where then crack goes. You can see it. No description is needed.

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77

u/BooCalMcNairBoo 6d ago

I read "violently", but they both fit lol

3

u/NotThePersona 6d ago

Look at his name, he is intimately familiar with the most solid of excretions.

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498

u/WoopzEh 6d ago

Imagine it velcroing to your ass hairs…

190

u/ghost3972 6d ago

Bro 😭

173

u/WoopzEh 6d ago

After a long Reddit session, you gotta flush early so everybody don’t hear you detaching from the seat.

40

u/Mind_on_Idle 6d ago

I heard this comment

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u/Ermahgerd_Rerdert 6d ago

Ah yes, the “cover flush”.

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34

u/Therashser 6d ago

We got cut-price faecal transplants over here.

34

u/Enshitification 6d ago

If you sit on it long enough, it gets moist again and doesn't stick so much.

8

u/WoopzEh 6d ago

Name checks out.

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300

u/LectroRoot 6d ago

My grandmother had one of those weird plastic coushin ones. Its supposed be comfy and isnt. Especially with god knows how old it was and now had cracks in the plastic that would bite your ass when you scooched around to get into a comfortable position. You guys do that also, right? Right?

113

u/My__Reddit__Account 6d ago

We had one of those toilet seats. My mom had diabetes and cut her bottom on the torn seat and ended up with sepsis and almost died in the hospital because of it. Luckily, they found out her heart valve was faulty, and she needed a triple bypass because they were running tests, so all in all, the toilet seat almost killed her and then saved her life.

29

u/ExtraordinarySuccess 5d ago

Wild from start to finish! I'm glad it saved your mom's life.

21

u/little_maggots 5d ago

Wow, I feel like that story needs its own post on reddit.

71

u/GreasyTengu 6d ago

Man those were the fucking worst, and they always felt uncomfortably moist too.

Nan said she had it because the seat got cold in the winter, but I think id prefer frostbite on my ass to that.

46

u/LectroRoot 6d ago

Is this a grandma thing?  

You guys remember colored toilet paper?

88

u/MrSmexy 6d ago

Toilet paper of color*

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9

u/Brad4795 6d ago

I was born past the time they had to be separated, so no

3

u/Brief_Fly_45 3d ago

Yes! That brought back some memories. My grandma had blue and pink toilet paper

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68

u/dysmetric 6d ago

Comfy position?

Oh, you mean it bit your ass when spreadin' the cheeks. If you use your hands you can get a wider gape anyway!

52

u/LectroRoot 6d ago

Ya gotta use your hands and wiggle till you comfy and can start working on your milk and cookies on the built in table on the back.

12

u/rotorain 6d ago

Don't forget the comic book

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4

u/_freshgreens420 5d ago

I made a post about this once in r/doesanyoneelse and got down voted into oblivion. Glad to know that I'm not alone. Sometimes that gape makes it come out easier.

10

u/thewoodsiswatching 5d ago

I had a GF in the 80s that had one of those and it was one of the multitude of reasons we broke up.

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56

u/Nickelsass 6d ago

scratchy kiss you mother fucker hahaha

26

u/McBiff 6d ago

Like a face ride on a bearded gentleman.

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42

u/why_not_fandy 6d ago

Poseidon’s mustache

40

u/Lone_Wanderer97 6d ago

"Wait, these aren't my dingleberries.."

28

u/Predator_ 6d ago

I HATE you! Take my upvote as I go vomit in the toilet. (No, not that toilet)

16

u/Avendia 6d ago

This is why I have a vomit bucket. If I'm already sick I don't wanna stick my face near something I sit my naked ass on.

24

u/fxrky 6d ago

This literally made me pucker. Stop cooking.

12

u/MyvaJynaherz 6d ago

Bottoming for the cookie-monster

10

u/SIR2480 6d ago

Fuck that I would rather sit in the bowl itself

6

u/dmoneymma 6d ago

Pure poetry, thanks I hate it.

3

u/BrohanGutenburg 6d ago

You are truly a poet.

3

u/AverageSimpleton 6d ago

You need to write a book

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3.1k

u/Aka_Los3r 6d ago

Working at Stanley Steemer, I would hate running into carpet in restrooms. Once the steam would hit the carpet around the toilet it would agitate urine odor. 😷

1.8k

u/Richard7666 6d ago

You were literally breathing in vapourised piss.

791

u/Boundish91 6d ago

Piss mist.

540

u/Benda647 6d ago

Pist.

123

u/FuckThisShizzle 6d ago

No, I only had a few light ales.

15

u/henrydaiv 5d ago

Just a few small batch bourbons occifer

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56

u/Bornandraisedbama 6d ago

Sierra Pissed

13

u/IndyNightSky 6d ago

Caffeine free

19

u/Bornandraisedbama 5d ago

It’s sterile and I like the taste

6

u/CherryHaterade 5d ago

It is absolutely not sterile, but I'm not going to stop you from practicing your god given freedoms anyway. Stand on your business.

4

u/Bornandraisedbama 5d ago

If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball.

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23

u/battleBrew 6d ago

15

u/the_dude_upvotes 6d ago

I see your risky click and raise you this piss kiss

4

u/outdatedboat 6d ago

Goated Commander Keen pfp

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31

u/PsyduckSexTape 6d ago

Amsterdam has these wonderful outdoor urinals that are just spiral sets of walls for privacy with a drain in the middle.

The only time I visited was when there was some big game against a British soccer team, and they'd be power washing these things, orange clouds rising into the air, and drunk hooligans just waltzing through the piss clouds like no biggie, whereas I'm running streets away to avoid

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18

u/Wholenchilada 6d ago

Fog up your glasses.

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33

u/ForeverYoung_Feb29 6d ago

You didn't have to type that out for us, but here we are....

24

u/Richard7666 6d ago edited 6d ago

Nonsense, it had to be made categorically, undeniably clear that the commenter had indeed been filling their lungs with steaming hot reconstituted penis juice, otherwise this distinction may have been lost on a reader or two. And we couldn't have that!

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204

u/__-gloomy-__ 6d ago

Why do people have carpets in the bathroom? By the commode 🤢

213

u/The_Velvet_Bulldozer 6d ago

It was definitely a 70s-80s thing. They hated hardwood or tile floors. It was either carpet or shitty linoleum. I rewatched Poltergeist the other day and the whole bathroom is pink carpet. Just a mold nightmare.

148

u/Wes_Warhammer666 6d ago

I used to think I liked carpeted bathrooms. Then I realized it's just that each of the carpeted bathrooms I knew in my youth were all at houses that I enjoyed being at. My grandma's, my aunt's, my best friend's mom's, and my elderly neighbors. My kid brain associated carpeted bathrooms with some of my favorite people.

As an adult I shudder at the thought lol.

26

u/Pot_Master_General 6d ago

Presumably the people who had them installed had the time to keep them meticulously clean as well.

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46

u/dotJSX 6d ago

My house was built in the 60s and when we moved in, even the kitchen was carpeted.

4

u/Faiakishi 5d ago

My aunt and uncle's house growing up was like that. They also didn't have a shower in the upstairs bathroom, just a bathtub. To shower you'd have to go down to the basement bathroom very far out of the way.

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42

u/light_sweet_crude 6d ago

I learned recently that the bathroom in my early childhood home wasn't carpeted when we moved in; rather, MY DAD had it carpeted in the early 90s! When I asked my mom wtf he did that for, she said he wanted his feet to be warm when using the bathroom 🤢 why he couldn't just wear slippers idfk

31

u/MostlyRightSometimes 6d ago

Even a fuck rug would work.

21

u/axle69 6d ago

A fuck rug sounds hot.

11

u/MostlyRightSometimes 6d ago

A fuck rucg soaked in hot piss. I'm already chubbing up.

Unrelated, fuck spell check.

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14

u/tvtb 6d ago

My great aunt/uncle had carpet in the bathroom when I was a kid. I would go over their house exactly once a year, probably been there like 10 times in my life, and even as a <10 year old kid, I thought it was nasty.

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22

u/Gseph 6d ago

In the UK it was common to have a little rug specifically to put under the sink & up against the toilet. or against the bath/shower in the 90's, but not an entire carpeted bathroom.

Even the toilet rugs are pretty rare now. Still occasionally have a small rug by the bath/shower though.

I never understood the logic. If you wear slippers, theres no need for any carpet in the bathroom. plus, It's much more hygienic to clean a tiled floor than put down a rug to soak up urine.

29

u/DuckCleaning 6d ago

Bathroom mats are quite common in most households still. Especially for stepping out the shower and sink. Bathrooms in condos are small though so the shower mat is the toilet mat.

6

u/Gseph 6d ago

Yeah, i just feel like they've declined in popularity since i was a kid in the 90's. Every house used to have 3 bathroom mats in each bathroom, now its usually just one for the bath/shower.

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u/true_honest-bitch 6d ago

I still have all of them rugs and always have, sinks, toilet and next to the bath all shaped specifically and I have several changes of rugs so I can wash them every few days, I basically wash them as soon as the bath one is abit too wet, just change them all. I thought that was common!!! Feel like I gotta have the rugs to take the chill off the room.

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u/peach_xanax 5d ago

My mom and stepdad's house was a foreclosure, and it had some wacky features, including a carpeted master bathroom with a sunken in tub. The carpet was just cut around the tub, and if you took a bath in it, the carpet would get all wet. No one in our family ever really used the tub bc it was gross. Then last year, my mom and stepdad remodeled that bathroom and put in one of those huge fancy rain showers, and tiled the floor. But yeah I have no fuckin clue what the previous owners were thinking.

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27

u/Internet_Hipsterd 6d ago

Stanley Steemer make your piss carpets cleaner!

15

u/Madworldz 6d ago

who/where/WHY would they put carpet in a bathroom? I've never in my 30 years of life seen carpet in a bathroom. SURE the rugs/mats. But that can just be tossed in the washing machine.

5

u/Evoandroidevo 6d ago

If your ever in the area to see Graceland Elvis had a carpeted bathroom. First time I had ever seen it myself

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13

u/zamfire 6d ago

Imagine people who rent carpet cleaners, you know those are mostly used for poop. After realizing that, my wife and I bought a carpet cleaner of our own.

11

u/dichron 6d ago

That way it was only your household’s poop it was cleaning

4

u/zamfire 6d ago

Much better! Honestly though, we don't make a huge habit of pooping on the floor and using a carpet cleaner on it, so not as much poop as a rental one

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u/annefranke 6d ago

Thats a whole bio hazard right there. Years of accumulated piss, and doo doo particles turned into a fine mist. I'm not entirely sure it was legal for your bosses to order you to do that.

5

u/nickiter 6d ago

A house I bought 10 years ago had deep-pile carpet in the bathroom. Looked to be from the 90s.

Needless to say... That did not stay.

4

u/arokthemild 6d ago

Some people would pay their good hard earned money to breath in piss!! Be gracious and thankful for such an opportunity!!

7

u/anaesthaesia 6d ago

No, thank you

3

u/Truemeathead 6d ago

When we moved into our place there was carpet in one of the restrooms. That was the very first thing we corrected lmao.

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u/IcySparks 6d ago

I'm not gonna lie, these were on my grandmother's toilets and felt GREAT. However she washed them every few days and was, in other areas, unbelievably clean. What what stranger is she had these germ catchers but had plastic on her very expensive couch.

She also left out a bowl of hard candy year round (no individual wrappers) which I had to use a butter knife to break off a piece.

Life was strange back in the 80s.

282

u/saanis 6d ago

It’s always grandmas that had these

75

u/justthestaples 6d ago

I've always figured plastic on the couch was to prevent stains from food or dirt more than a germ thing. You can't usually wash couches after all.

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u/bountyhunter220 6d ago

Hopefully she washed 'em with the towels and facecloths!

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1.1k

u/mustanghungry 6d ago

Need to put some cookie monster eyes on it.

558

u/N00DL3Z_84 6d ago

Dookie monster

94

u/thomasanderson123412 6d ago

D is for dookie.....

26

u/IndyNightSky 6d ago

That's good enough for me

8

u/BowsersMuskyBallsack 5d ago

If my toilet starts making "Omnomnomnomnom!" sounds when I take a crap in it, I will take the fastest crap of my life, and for the first time since the age of 4 not wipe immediately before pulling my pants up and evacuating the toilet as fast as my bowels just did.

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u/Amlethus 6d ago

You are the true monster for making us laugh at that.

8

u/both-shoes-off 6d ago

I thought that too 😆. Also these guys.

3

u/Glitch_Zero 6d ago

Yeeeeep yep yep yepyepyep.

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u/lexiconhuka 6d ago

Ah the piss absorber 3000

55

u/DrTuSo 6d ago

Stationary reusable toilet paper 3000.

Just wiggle your ass on the seat and get your crack clean.

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u/leibnizslaw 6d ago

Anyone who pisses in this toilet without lifting the lid is as disgusting as the person who created this travesty.

Anyone who touches this lid is as disgusting as the person who created this travesty.

Honestly there’s no way to interact with or even look at this without being disgusting. Every single one of us should be ashamed.

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1.8k

u/jadepetals 6d ago

The shit stain where the asshole would be says it all

122

u/aminorityofone 6d ago

nobodys ass hold is that high up, this is explosive shits, an extremely large person or somebody who doesnt wipe sitting back down on the toilet.

57

u/La_Lanterne_Rouge 6d ago

Or D: All of the above.

39

u/JaeHxC 6d ago

D:

6

u/bdfariello 6d ago

All of it went above

7

u/OnesPerspective 6d ago

Tends to also happen when you lean forward and are not careful

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u/Hans_Grubert 6d ago

Who’s puts their asshole on the seat

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u/FailFodder 6d ago

Well there’s your problem.

The asshole is supposed to go over the hole, not the stain.

11

u/KingMidasInReverse1 6d ago

Pretty sure the stain is from high-wiping.

14

u/tohitsugu 6d ago

You are the second person to mention this. What is high wiping? I am out of the loop on my wiping techniques it seems

14

u/KingMidasInReverse1 6d ago

Basically it’s when you wipe your ass with very long strokes, leaving residue in the top part of your ass crack.

10

u/icedteaandme 6d ago

Ewwwww!

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u/JDM713 6d ago

🤢

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454

u/nothanksiliketowatch 6d ago

These were totally normal in old people's homes in 80's and 90's. Worst part was it didn't stay up by itself. If you were peeing standing up, you had to hold the seat up

182

u/darkest_hour1428 6d ago

Which means us grandsons would, on the first few times of needing to take a leak, inevitably drop the lid mid-stream. Shagedelic, baby.

42

u/prpldrank 6d ago

Oh yea kid me dried my fair share of these with toilet paper.

46

u/paulk345 6d ago

Yeah my grandma has one of these. As a kid i liked the comfort of it but now it’s pretty repulsive to think about.

51

u/InappropriateGirl 6d ago

My aunt had one of the vinyl ones filled with foam so it was squishy. Gross in a different way, especially when the vinyl would inevitably crack.

11

u/Irish_Tyrant 5d ago

Vinyl slicing into your thighs and ass, ah memories.

3

u/que_sarasara 5d ago

You've just unlocked a memory I thought I had forgot. God they were always a weird beige colour too with bits flaking off 🤢

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u/admdelta 6d ago

I vividly remember these being on the lid but I don’t think I ever encountered one on the seat itself. Absolutely vile. 🤢

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174

u/MakeoutPoint 6d ago

Grandma had one. We called it her "Hairy Potty"

96

u/the_dude_upvotes 6d ago

Yer a shitter, Hairy!

32

u/psc0425 6d ago

Can I get it in brown?

49

u/quaffee 5d ago

Of course! Just give it a few weeks!

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u/rdizzy1223 6d ago

Tons of old people have shit like this for their toilets. My 85 year old grandma had it too.

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u/HoaryPuffleg 6d ago

I remember many homes in the 80s with it, thankfully I haven’t seen them in years.

21

u/mauledbybear 6d ago

On the seat itself? I’ve seen it on the cover but not the seat.

10

u/rdizzy1223 6d ago

Yes, on both. Mine had a maroon set, with matching toilet/bath mats AND the entire bathroom was also carpeted.

9

u/-PC_LoadLetter 6d ago

My grandparents had the vinyl padded toilet seat and that was weird enough.. This is another level.

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u/aukir 6d ago

One of those rare cases where I get the shit scared into me.

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u/BANNEDUSER500 6d ago

Haha hell no I’m taking that off if I visit

90

u/DansSpamJavelin 6d ago

...you would willingly TOUCH that thing? The fuck is wrong with you?

36

u/DukeOfThiccington 6d ago

Could always use gloves, or just wash hands afterwards. Better to touch the blue part once with your hands than the brown part multiple times with any part of your body.

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u/Avalolo 6d ago

This is a hover situation

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u/zamfire 6d ago

This person has kids lol

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u/Big_Fo_Fo 6d ago

Hah! A Pakistani coworker of mine absolutely refuses to believe these are real.

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u/Ajmb_88 6d ago

Bro, that stain!

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u/forevrtwntyfour 6d ago

I remember this from the 1980s. I cringe and reach for my hand sanitizer now just looking at it

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u/kayesoob 6d ago

My butt can feel this photo.

11

u/RedSquirrelFtw 6d ago

Nasty. Pretty sure that part goes on the cover, which is still gross. This used to be a big thing in the 90's that slowly faded away. They also had those toilet seats that were puffy and when you sit on it it would be PHSSSSSS. Fun times.

6

u/dmenc 5d ago

And then the plastic seams on the outer edge of those would crack and you would get stabbed in the thighs whenever you sat down or got up.

9

u/wetwater 6d ago edited 3d ago

lip instinctive expansion butter fly coherent run safe plants deserve

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/AppropriateTouching 6d ago

We used to live like this. There was also one on the floor around the toilet.

22

u/scrumhalf09 6d ago

Truly the definition of wtf

5

u/InfiniteRespect 6d ago

This makes me involuntarily murderous

6

u/Bipogram 6d ago

And the urine-mop around the pedestal of the toilet.

<queasy feeling>

7

u/DanaAdalaide 6d ago

get your carpet cleaner out

4

u/Sandman4999 6d ago

Fuck that man, toss it into a furnace.

4

u/graesen 6d ago

Sadly, growing up in the 80s, I saw a few of these. It was somewhat common in my area.

6

u/Ut_Prosim 6d ago

My friend bought a house that has this and matching, wall to wall carpet. Yes, in the bathroom. From the bathtub to the toilet to the sink, the entire bathroom has wall to wall carpet.

The previous owners had left their poor cats locked up in there and their urine had soaked through the baseboard and rotted it. When my friend pulled up the carpet most of the floor came up with it.

Weirdos.

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u/Slave_Vixen 6d ago

You can see the stain on the back 🤢🤮

4

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat 5d ago

Oh hell no.

I once knew a lady who had a toilet like this, but it was the floor that was carpeted, not the loo.

I remember looking at it and thinking how ridiculous it was....and yes it was looking a bit stained.

4

u/ignatius_j_chinaski 5d ago

The thing is literally shit-stained. That's fucking disgusting.

5

u/the_most_playerest 5d ago

It's the poopy monster

9

u/bigoz_07 6d ago

Ewwww... the smell of it...

15

u/dratx 6d ago

The taste is even worse

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u/firewire_9000 6d ago

UK, stop please, you don’t need to put carpets everywhere. I remember the first time that I went to London and entered into the house’s bathroom that we rented, it had a floor carpet. I couldn’t believe it, like, who the hell thought that it was a good idea.

8

u/raevnos 6d ago

That's not (just) a UK thing.

3

u/Pavotine 5d ago

My grandmother explained to me that not having carpets was a sign of being poor. As soon as they could afford it they "carpeted the fuck out of everything." Her words, not mine.

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u/Pups_the_Jew 6d ago

I'd prefer a seat made of ice.

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u/sriracha_koolaid 6d ago

It has a shit stain on the back

4

u/usofine 6d ago

I hate it. Please, burn it.

3

u/Intrepid00 6d ago

My mother used to have these when we were kids in the 90s. They lasted 3 months till she gave up because they always ended up smelling like piss. Even the toilet seat cover only fluffy bullshit.

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u/Fhugem 6d ago

Only a true masochist would sit on a carpeted toilet seat. It's like playing Russian roulette with your hygiene!

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u/Pawistik 5d ago

Learn from my mistake, don't zoom in.

4

u/queuedUp 5d ago

You know that it's been a very long time since it's been taken off and cleaned as well

5

u/demerchmichael 4d ago

Imagine sitting down and it’s soaking wet

3

u/BoringTadpole6110 4d ago

Look at the stain.... Look at it!

3

u/yngsten 6d ago

Throwback to the early nineties.

3

u/Capable-Station296 6d ago

Absolutely disgusting.

3

u/massberate 6d ago

I fucking gasped. This is unholy.

3

u/Treehousefairyqueen 6d ago

Ah, you missed the 70s.

3

u/USA_A-OK 6d ago

Tip: if you're worried about comfort while sitting on the toilet, you're spending too long on the toilet.

3

u/Gmajj 5d ago

Those used to be commonplace.

3

u/aegrotatio 5d ago

Cookie Monster vibes.

3

u/i_hate_dishes2013 5d ago

Omg the shit stain

3

u/CountHonorius 5d ago

Tell me there's a grandma in the house without telling me there's a grandma in the house...

3

u/Apprehensive_Ad_6636 5d ago

Holy smokes! I’ve seen the covers for the toilet lid before (which are terrible in their own right), but never for the seat. That is so insanely mind scarring.

3

u/Opening_Ad5479 5d ago

Ewwwwwwww

3

u/leolio2929 5d ago

This or the semi inflated one that would cut your buttcheeks.

3

u/yayyayhime 5d ago

Oh dear God.. 🥺

3

u/Knaggs1120 5d ago

Imagine sitting on this and it's cold and wet

3

u/zingding212 4d ago

Seat covers on a toilet are the most disgusting thing in a bathroom. Close second, dirty floor mats. Imagine inviting someone over, and they use the toilet, and they see shit matted into the fabric.. 🤢🤮