r/WallStreetbetsELITE • u/davidmt1995 • Mar 07 '25

Shitpost Missing uncle Joe here

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You know what strengthens the stock market? Stability and predictability.

40.5k Upvotes

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97

u/MarzipanTop4944 Mar 07 '25

It's very simple: "eggs are expensive and I don't like the browns and the trans, I'm voting for Trump!" /s

44

u/D1rtyH1ppy Mar 07 '25

I think it's even more simplistic than just eggs. It's more like 'girls are stupid and brown people are scary, so I'm voting Trump'.

14

u/thererises_aredstar Mar 07 '25

If they cared about eggs they woulda voted for Joe & co, he arranged a huge import coming in June that should stabilize prices a bit. Course with the way co presidents Trump and Musk are shitting the bed a carton still might be worth more than my IRA by then

7

u/Estro-gem Mar 07 '25

"It's another flu ruining another one of his turns! It's not his fault!!! I'll gladly pay $100 for a dozen!!"

-average red

6

u/thererises_aredstar Mar 07 '25

“Put my Benjamins directly in your golden toilet sir, it’s an honor”

0

u/Bright-Ability-2595 Mar 07 '25

Why do we need that import?

2

u/thererises_aredstar Mar 07 '25

Bird flu crisis causing significant culling, shortage again

0

u/Bright-Ability-2595 29d ago

Bird flu crisis…bird flu crisis! So create crisis. Respond to your own creation with overreaction. Blame others. We are “governed” by sociopaths and surrounded by idiots.

3

u/dr-tyrell Mar 08 '25

I'll do you one better.

'I'm scared of ______, daddy, give me a simple answer to make me not feel scared anymore."

1

u/Ok_Ganache_789 Mar 08 '25

Well, my friend’s cousin down in Springfield died because one of them brown men injected him with fentanyl after eating his dog.

1

u/Goldenleaves0 Mar 08 '25

it’s even more simpler. After watching kamala speak once you automatically vote for trump.

1

u/Correct-Junket-1346 29d ago

It's probably even simpler than that "I'm a moron and I like this moron ya'no'wutimean"

2

u/General-Ring2780 29d ago

It was so simple for them to make that vote. lol and now the decisions that he makes effects everyone in a bad way lol

1

u/Goldenleaves0 Mar 08 '25

More like, “i’ve watched kamala speak once so i’m voting for trump”

1

u/RoosterFloyd 28d ago

Yes, because everyone who disagrees with your point of view is doing so out of malevolence or idiocy. Stupid Trump voters, generalizing and jumping to conclusions about a huge group of people based upon only the worst few amongst them. Thank God you're so enlightened and would never do that.

Loser.

3

u/PlusSizedPretty Mar 07 '25

But what if she gets mad on her period and starts WW3?! 🙄

3

u/Pretend-Marsupial258 Mar 07 '25

Everyone knows that WWI and WWII were started by ladies on their periods!!!!11!!1!1!1

4

u/Estro-gem Mar 07 '25

Kinda like Trump and Vance cry-screaming at zelensky?

🤣😂🤣😂🤣

At least Kamala would've had less makeup on and a bigger dick.

1

u/Goldenleaves0 Mar 08 '25

Kamala would have said to Zelenskyy “I come from a middle class family” and gave her usual word salad.

Also please provide a clip specifically where they were cry screaming?

Also, bigger dick? not very diverse friendly to small dicks huh?

1

u/Goldenleaves0 Mar 08 '25

Exactly, you’re starting to understand it now.

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u/Ok_Ice_1669 Mar 08 '25

Bro, the brown eggs are DEI. 

1

u/Goldenleaves0 Mar 08 '25 edited 25d ago

Men in woman sports is pretty DEI. Trans in military was dei. That woman should have never been flying that black hawk now 80+ innocent people are dead because of your DEI, queer.

1

u/johnyct9760 28d ago

I can't figure out if you're being satirical or if you're honestly this crazy.