Abortion is illegal in the country that I live in right now. Yesterday is the 5th day delay of my period so I took the PT and tested positive. Me and my ex already broke up a week ago because I found out he is married in his country home and we dated for 6 months. I didnt let him know about this pregnancy. Through the help of friends I got a termination pill from illegal vendors and they were guiding with the whole process. Im so scared about this whole thing but I gotta do this. I just took the Mife tab and tomorrow I’ll take the Miso. Please let your girly know what are your experiences with the medicine so I would know what to expect.

hello! i just wanted to share my MA experience here because this subreddit has helped me so much. i was able to get through the process thanks to the support and kindness of the women here. as a small way of giving back, i'd love to share my own experience too, hoping it can help other women who are going through this journey. take a deep breath — you will get through this!

note: this is a detailed experience of mine so this will be a long post.

how did i find out i was pregnant?

• i noticed that my period was late. i was exactly one week late from my due date when i decided to take a pt. i was literally shaking and nervous when i did it. i did my first pt last March 12, and it immediately showed two dark red lines. it was so fast. i started crying and breaking down, and i immediately messaged my boyfriend about it. he was a bit in denial at first, so the day after, he bought 2 more pts (all in all i had 3 pts)

• March 13 - March 14: i tested the 2 pts my bf bought, one on march 13 and one on march 14, and both came back positive.

what symptoms did i notice? honestly, only sore breasts, which is a typical PMS symptom for me, so i thought that my period was just late. i didn't give it much thought. but when my period was a week late, that's when things changed. my period does come late, but only for a maximum of 5 days. that's why i was really worried when it was a week late, so i decided to test. however, when i reached my 6 weeks (as per my LMP), i started to have nausea but it only occurs from late afternoon to night time, or when i travel (i do not have motion sickness), i also vomit. i had increased urgency in urinating, i was gassy and bloated, i have a super sensitive smell, and a bad food aversions (i do not even eat regularly because of this), and i also had light cramps from time to time.

note: i did not do any TVS to confirm my gestational age and if my pregnancy is intrauterine since i do not want to have any records that i was pregnant. i found out that there was a TVS here at our province but only one clinic does it. no other places.

WoW donation and shipment process (this is a bit long and detailed)

• that night i confirmed i was positive with just one pt, i immediately searched for reliable abortion sites and suprisingly Women on Web came up first. at first i wasn’t sure about what i was doing, so i installed reddit and made this account. i even posted here to ask for info about WoW and WHW. that is where i found out that FB sellers/local sellers sell fake meds so beware of that.

• i used the gestational age calculator on both websites and found out i was 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant (LMP: Feb 4).

• since i’m only a student and not financially stable, i worried about how to get the donation for WoW and WhW. i read stories here that they emailed WoW or WhW about their financial situation and were allowed to donate less than €70-€90.

• so i emailed WoW and WHW first before doing the online consultation to check if they’d accept a lower donation. WHW replied first and told me to do an online consultation and email them again after, which i did. hours later, WoW also replied and told me the same, so i did it and waited.

• WoW replied first after i emailed about my financial status, and thankfully they allowed me to donate what i had — ₱1000 (about €15). i promised to donate more if i will have extra money in the future.

• the next morning (march 14 - 3rd pt), i tested using fresh urine (i read it’s more accurate) and it came back positive. my bf and i had a serious talk about our situation, and once we decided, we donated immediately to WoW. we are both graduating students, both do not have work, and we aren't financial capable, we agreed that this is the last choice for us. we want to have a family someday, but not now. we know that if we had this pregnancy in the right time, we are gladly to accept it and raise it. but we are not in a good situation now, we cannot afford to see our child suffer just because we cannot provide them their needs.

payment process: for my payment process, i was having a hard time at first since i do not know how to use Gcash to Paypal method, then i read again throughly in Philippine Wiki so i used Maya Virtual Card to Paypal (used Gcash to transfer money in Maya > created Maya Virtual Card > used Maya Virtual Card in Paypal as my debit card > donated to WoW using Paypal (in euros)) i used yt vids as my guide

note: WHW replied later that day, saying i could donate my amount in hand but should complete it in 2 weeks. i didn’t reply because i had no means to pay the balance. the money i donated to WoW came from my scholarship, not from the pocket money that my parents gave to me because i felt so guilty about it.

• WoW was really accomodating and tried their best to reply to me as fast as possible. i was beyond thankful because that time they typically reply to me within minutes that's why they processed my payment and shipment fast.

• March 15: WoW confirmed my shipment. 2 days later, March 17, they sent me the tracking number. i tracked it using the 17Track and ParcelsApp. then when it reached the country, i used PHLPost tracking website.

• since i am in the Visayas (Samar), i expected it will arrive within 2-3 weeks. the package arrived last April 2 in our local PHLPost. they called me then i asked my bf to picked it up since he was near in the post office, i just gave him my 2 valid ids and an authorization letter. there were no charge fee.

MA timeline:

• i decided to do my MA last April 3 & 4. this was because i will not be busy during the weekends and i will be out of school.

• prior the procedure, i made sure that i was educated enough about the process and that everything were planned out, i even made a timeline in my notes app and the things that i will need to buy and bring. i also asked some encouragement words in this subreddit. this really helped my anxiety.

• for reference: i am a woman in my 20s, a graduating student, 53kg 5'2

Day 1 - April 3, 2025

• i went to the city first then bought my things/supplies with me for my day 2.

• what i bought: menstrual diapers (it was really comfy to wear), night pads, 3x 400mg ibuprofen, 3x meclizine (bonamine), 2 bottles of gatorade, snacks. i gave this to my bf as we will do my day 2 at his apartment

• i was 8 weeks and 1 day when i did my day 1

6:30pm - took 1x 25mg meclizine (bonamine) because i really have a bad nausea and i also vomit but not that excessive only 1 to 2 times for a day. i consulted WoW about this if i could take an anti-nausea before the Mifepristone and they said it was okay to take an hour before the Mifepristone. i was really afraid that i will vomit the Mifepristone.

note: acc. to WoW, if you vomited the Mifepristone for more than 20 minutes after taking it, it does not influence the process and you should continue the process as instructed.

but if you vomited within 20 minutes after taking the Mifepristone, it might affect the process and won't work well. immediately contact WoW if you vomited the tablet within 20 minutes. this is the same with Misoprostol.

7:30 pm - took 1x Mifepristone; i put on a pad because i read that Mifepristone can cause light bleeding (in preparation for it)

8:40 pm - i vomited because my nausea was very very bad. it burned my throat when i vomited i think it was the Mifepristone. other than nausea, i did not experience other side effects. no light bleeding.

Day 2 - April 4, 2025

• i started off a bit late of 7:30pm for my day 2 because i was really busy at school.

• i went to my dormitory first and , got the things that i needed: such as my blanket, comfy pjs, heat pack, and thermometer (decided to bring it with me just in case i'll be experiencing chills or fever)

FIRST DOSE

7:00 pm - my boyfriend and i decided to order in Mcdo for our dinner, i only had a chicken burger because that time my nausea was bad again. i even had a hard time eating the burger but i decided to finish it off so that my stomach is not that empty.

7:15 pm - i decided to take a shower first then put on my diaper pad.

7:45 pm - took 1x 400 mg ibuprofen and 25mg meclizine

8:00 pm - while waiting, me and my bf decided to set alarms for the time intervals of taking the Misoprostol starting 8:45 pm so that i can take the doses at the right time.

8:45 pm - took 4x 200mcg Misoprostol sublingually (under the tongue), swallowed my saliva when it waters my mouth since it was okay to swallow the saliva per WoW. it tasted nothing but the texture was a bit chalky. we watched a movie while waiting

9:15 pm - after 30 minutes, i swallowed the remaining pills with water; as soon as it hit the mark, cramps also started from 2/10 to 20/10. i am not even exaggerating, it was very VERY painful. i was also shocked that it started immediately but i tried focusing on my breathing but it doesn't really help me. the cramps just keep on intensifying. i was crying in pain, i was trying different positions to ease the pain, i was using my heat pack, i was even squeezing my boyfriend's hand, then he also put efficascent oil in my lower abdomen (puson)—but nothing really helped me. i do not know if i was exaggerating the pain since i have a low pain tolerance, but i had a confidence i can handle the pain since i have painful menstruations, but it was DIFFERENT. really different. it felt also that i did not take the ibuprofen.

9:49 pm - i vomited it was burning my throat again. my nausea was really bad during that time; i saw light bleeding from the pad. i seated in the toilet for the few minutes waiting to pass anything just to ease my pain, but it was nothing, i just had painful cramps.

10:15 pm - i decided to go back to the cr; i sat at the toilet then felt that i was passing blood but no clots, still a light bleeding though; minutes later, i vomited again. i drank gatorade a bit just to rehydrate myself but it was not that many since i do not want to vomit again.

note: usually you shouldn't eat or drink anything for 30 minutes - 1 hour after you vomited because you will still vomit it, but in my case, i did not have a proper dinner then i just vomited what i ate, so i was afraid of me being dehydrated and weak so i am trying to rehydrate myself so that i have the energy to go on the process.

10:20 pm - i felt that i started passing clots in my pad, as soon i passed clots, my cramps started to subsided 6/10; it was on and off that time.

10:29 pm- i decided to go back to cr again to check my pad and saw that i am already bleeding heavily (but not a concerning amount wherein i could fill 2 pads for 2 hours), it was just many; as i was seating at the toilet, i passed 3 clots. i couldn't see anything in the water; cramps were still there but they are starting to be less painful 3/10

10:33 pm - i decided to rest before my 2nd dose; i was rehydrating myself with gatorade and trying to focus on my breathing so that i will not drain my energy; i do not have the appetite to eat solid foods that time

10:35 pm - cramps started to be painful again 7/10; it was on and off but as it starts to cramp again it was more painful. i am trying to relieve it with my heat pack.

11:16 pm - i felt something big was coming out on me so i rushed to the cr, the moment i sat on the toilet i felt that i passed a big clot; i think it was a golf-sized clot, i did not check because i cannot see anything in the water of the toilet; bleeding continues.

11:18 pm - i decided to gave myself a light snack

11:20 pm - i decided to rest before the 2nd dose

SECOND DOSE

11:45 pm- my alarm rang and took the 2nd dose of misoprostol; it dissolved way faster under my tongue than the 1st dose, had to hold it in my mouth, controlling it to not to swallow until it reached the 30-minute mark

12:15 am - i swallowed the remains with water; cramps were back but not so painful 5/10, i am just relieving it with heat pack

12:55 am - i went to the cr again to check my pad but as i sat, i passed another huge clot again, i saw it coming out from me. this time since i saw it, it was a cocoon-like clot. it was enclosed. it was about the size of a lemon. i do not know what i just passed so i emailed WoW about this (just described what i just saw).

1:18 am- took another 1x 400mg ibuprofen then i rested until the 3rd dose; i still have on & off cramps so i just relieve it with my heat pack

1:45 am- i decided to change my pad not because it was soaked or full but for comfy reasons; my cramps subsided hence, i slept

THIRD DOSE

• i took the third dose hours after the time i should have taken it since i slept so soundly.

• i woke up 6:30 am then realized i was late for my 3rd dose. i also got a reply from WoW and advised me to take the 3rd dose. since i asked them about my cocoon-like clot, they said i passed probably the sac and i passed the pregnancy tissue normally. they also said that there is no placenta developed in my number of gestational age.

• when i woke up, the first thing i noticed was i feel so light. i did not feel that i was nauseated anymore. though, my breasts are still sore and tender but my nausea was gone (even at the late afternoon, i never felt it). i did not vomit also. i still have my sensitive smell (but not that strong anymore) but my appetite was back—i do not have any food aversions anymore and i can eat normally without feeling nauseated.

8:22 am - i took the 3rd dose. it was way past time than my actual time to take the 3rd dose (supposedly 2:45am) but i was fast asleep after i changed my pad. i did not hear my alarm, my partner was also tired and did not wake up from the said time. hence, i consulted WoW about this but i know they will reply a bit late so i asked here in this subreddit if i still should take the 3rd dose and they said yes.

8:52 am - i swallowed the remains with water

9:15 am- i ate my breakfast; still bleeding; i still pass clots but not that big in my pad

9:30 am- started cramping again but was tolerable 5/10; i went my day normally. i just rested during the day

FOURTH DOSE

9:17 pm - i pooped (not diarrhea just a typical poop sesh), then as i was pooping, i felt a big clot passed on me, though i did not saw how big it was but i felt it was big since when i woke up i was only passing smaller clots. i do not know what was that.

9:20 pm - decided to take a bath, as i was washing down there, i saw that there was a clot hanging on me. i decided to pull it out gently—like REALLY gently and slowly since its like a plug in my passageway (it occludes it). it was not painful. as i took it out, it was a long, thick, clot. i was really worried about this so i emailed WoW immediately then i decided to take the 4th dose of Misoprostol (this was the last dose that i took).

today: as i am writing this, WoW replied to my concern last night and they told me that i did the right thing by pulling the hanging clot gently and slowly. as per WoW, do not pull a hanging clot if its painful

this ends my MA timeline. i am at my post MA day 3 as of today and still continues to bleed. i will test after 4 weeks, hoping to get a negative result. here are my questions:

• can i say that my process sounds normal? that i shouldn't worry anything about it?

• i read that post MA bleeding typically lasts for 4-6 weeks but as for me i am having a light bleeding now. its not spotting like but it is more light than the amount of blood i passed during my day 2 MA. is this normal? i can feel i can finish my bleeding for 5 days estimated.

• how long do sore breasts lasts?

that is all! i am really thankful for all the women in this subreddit that helped me throughout my process. this subreddit still continues to help me now. i just wanted to say that you are not alone in this journey. i know it feels heavy and overwhelming, but please breathe — take it one step at a time. trust the process and trust yourself. it’s okay to feel scared, it’s okay to cry—to grieve, but remember that you are strong and capable. keep reading, keep asking, and don’t be afraid to reach out for help like i did. you will get through this, just like i did. we’re all here for each other ❤️‍🩹

I have a question, in my country abortion is illegal but in my current situation I honestly have no other option, and I have no way to get information to carry out my abortion, could you tell me how many pills there are and how often please? I'm very worried right now about what could happen, my situation is a little complicated since I took medication to prevent pregnancy but it still happened, we are both still students and we really don't want children, I need help with this since it's the first time it's happened to me and I don't know who to consult without ending up in prison, I am 24 years old, approximately 4 months pregnant and I used Levonorgestrel as a contraceptive method but it had no effect.

I did a MA on Friday morning at 6 weeks exactly. Had horrible cramps and passed a lot of clots that first day. Today is 48 hours and the cramps are still pretty intense with decent sized clots. I know this isn’t an easy or short process, just want to know a little more of what to expect as far as the pain and duration of passing large clots.

day one (April 3th, 7:30PM): I am 5 weeks since my last period. I took mifepristone and had no symptoms.

day 2/3 (April 5th): I took 4 misoprostol under the tongue. threw up after after about 20ish minutes but they were pretty much fully dissolved. by the time the 30 minute mark hit I was bleeding and in the worst pain of my life. this lasted for about an hour, I felt like I was giving birth. At the 2 hour mark, I passed what I think was the pregnancy & placenta.

day 4 (today): I am still bleeding a lot and cramping. Still passing smaller clots today.

I’m bleeding through my level 5 maxi pads like crazy. 6 in less than 24 hours. Still bleeding a lot today. I got my pills through aid access and I think they give the same directions to everyone regardless of how far a long you are. Should I still take the second dose of miso? I contacted aid access and they said it’s up to me. That it sounds like I’m good, but if I want to be EXTRA sure to take a second dose. I feel like I know my body and I feel pretty sure. I am in a red state and just not sure what to do.

I was told by my MFM (who’s not gonna perform my surgery) that D&E is gonna be done by suction but not scraping ? It’s different from what I read online… did anyone have a suction D&E at 17 weeks ? Did they also scrap? I have retroverted uterus and fibroids so I am concerned if they could cause more risks? TIA

On Friday I took the first pill and waited the 24 hours I got pills from aid access which I heard is very reliable. I had no symptoms with the mifepristone but after I took my first round of mistoprostol an hour later I threw up so severely I was throwing up bile. The pain ate through all my pain meds and I can’t even put into words how painful it was. I didn’t bleed during this. The second round I started to lightly bleed but not clots and again the most painful thing ever. My body was freaking out and shaking and I was crying and could barely handle the pain. All I wanted was sleep so I didn’t take the 3rd round till 6 hours later. I bled through the night but there are no clots whatsoever. Please help. If nothing happens after I take all my pills should I go get medical attention?

Hi I’m coming to give the girls some hope, I’m very thankful I could get my abortion, for one the man I was having it by was just a complete asshole was trying to make me a single mom after telling him constantly I needed help because I do not make a lot of money he did not care, the night before my abortion he has sex with someone else! I’m so glad I got out of that situation never talked to him again even after he begged for me back, I don’t regret my abortion and I’m very glad I did it it was sad at first because it was my baby but my child deserves better a better father a better life and a better position no reason to have a child in a already broken home before they get here, I hope you found this helpful and whatever you are going thru you are not alone I love you all💓💓💓💓

Hi everyone!

I needed somewhere to turn to for advice because I am feeling hopeless & not sure what’s happening.

I am 4 weeks and some days pregnant, I did not get an ultrasound or Blood test but I took about 4 pregnancy tests and have had sore breasts. I am 26 years old 120 pounds. I took mifepristone at 8pm yesterday and 24 hours later I took 4 misoprostls vaginally at 8pm. I had some mild cramping and diarrhea, I took 4 more at 4am and still have had zero bleeding and mild to little cramping. I have unfortunately had a MA before and it ended up working within hours so I am confused what is going on I was about 6 weeks along then.

I am confused what’s happening and feeling very stressed. I leave out of town on Thursday (it’s Sunday morning today) also and am confused what is going on.

Any help is appreciated 🫶🏼

Has anyone heard of WOW? My wife is pregnant but we already have kids but we are not ready to have another one.

I've read in subreddit that women on web is the one that can help us but I'm not sure if it safe. Has anyone tried it before and if possible please share us the link to there website. Thank you so much for the help. 🙏🏻

I had an abortion on April 3rd, i was 8 weeks and 4 days along. It's been hell since. I cant handle the guilt, it just hurts so bad. I know having the abortion was the best thing but God I hate myself for doing it. How do I move on? What do I do?

I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant and decided to have a medical abortion (MA) by purchasing the necessary medications online. I was instructed to prepare my body for 1 to 2 weeks because some of the medications needed to be inserted vaginally. After a week of preparation, I followed all the procedures.

A large clot came out, but I was told it was just a blood clot. Later, another clot came out along with a gray, jelly-like substance, but again, I was told it was normal. The day after the procedure, I was still bleeding heavily, but all my pregnancy symptoms (morning nausea, cravings, swollen breasts, and low energy) disappeared—though I still felt bloated.

I’ve been bleeding for a week now, and clots are still coming out. I contacted the person I bought the MA from, and they told me I need to repeat the process—which would mean paying a large amount of money that I can’t afford.

Do you think my abortion was successful, or do I really need to do it again?

Hello everyone, please help my girlfriend with an abortion, I can't get to Sweden, but she has a visa-free regime, she needs support and accompaniment, I beg you, she is 13 weeks

I found out I was pregnant on April 2nd at a std clinic I go to because I wasn’t feeling well and thought my Ureaplasma was back (it probably is but I haven’t got the results yet) but instead I was told I was pregnant. I already had a feeling but was definitely in denial until that day. I was crying so much it was embarrassing. I couldn’t even stop the tears from coming out and I kept apologizing for crying. They were very supportive and gave me papers for whatever options I go with.

My aunt (who I live with) doesn’t know I’m pregnant so it’s really hard keeping it a secret with me being nauseous, throwing up, and the smells bothering me. She’s also pregnant which makes getting an abortion even harder for me. I’ll be reminded of what could’ve been and it makes me sad.

I told the father I was pregnant the next day and he immediately wanted an abortion because he said we’re not ready for one. I cried some more (haven’t cried this much in forever). I called and made an appointment right there and then but idk if I want to get an abortion. I’m really scared and nervous. I feel like I’ll regret it but at the same time idk if I want to be a mom right now without marriage (it’s important in my family). I don’t want to be judged if I decide to keep the baby but I also don’t want to let go. It’s a complicated feeling.

If I go through with it, the father is coming with me. He offered to come because they told me I need someone to be there with me. Every time I think about the abortion though, I literally cry and choke up. He keeps trying to make sure I’m ok but I’m not.

I know he’s right about us not being ready but I just can’t believe my 1st pregnancy will end in abortion. It’s not what I ever imagined for myself. Like I’m currently 7 weeks and when I’m getting the abortion I’ll be 9 weeks. I won’t be able to hold it or ever find out the gender. I just found out I’m pregnant and now I’m getting an abortion. It really doesn’t feel real. My aunt will be due in August and I would’ve been in November. One day I’ll come to terms with it but right now I just can’t stop crying.

Booked for an SA 7 days before an international flight - is it safe? I’m overseas for 3 weeks.

My sister is the only person who will know about it.. I’m going on a family trip (not for fun) so I can’t move my flights.

Absolutely terrified. 21F. Just had a positive test. Conception likely around March 8th-13th, thank god. It seems like it’s early enough that i’ll be alright. I will not be telling my parents, I just started the process with HeyJane and i’m waiting to hear back from them. I’m trying not to panic because it’s not going to change anything for me right now, but I would really love to hear if anyone else has had a positive experience with the abortion pills

i’ve heard some people have MA at the second trimester, i believe i need a SA. if you have had one what was it like?

Hey everyone!

Just a bit of panic and anyone with any prior experience in this who can open up an ear and lend some guidance would be great cause there is quite a lot of panic and fear over here.

Just wanted to hear more about the process for MA as my Partner [27F] is currently 4 weeks along and have the ultrasound and follow up pre-booked for the end of the month. Both of us are freaking out as my partner REALLY wants MA over SA and is worried that it'll be too close to the deadline. Will she be prescribed the MS-2 at the follow up post ultrasound GP appointment? Or do we get a referral to a clinic? We are both very unsure about the process and it's causing a lot of stress as we are unsure we are taking steps fast enough.

Any info would be amazing

i had a medical abortion on march 3. on wednesday, i started having very dark watery discharge. i didn’t think much of it, however since then i have been cramping, more watery discharge with a foul like scent, and just now passed a clump of tissue?

i live in a red state (texas) yay! so im unsure what to do. do i give it a couple of more days? do i just go to urgent care? i don’t currently have a pcp so i’m stuck. i have gone down a google rabbit hole and am afraid this will lead to infertility. just freaking myself out more over here.

ETA: i got a UTI (i think that’s what it was) a couple of days prior to the discharge/cramping/now tissue passing and was prescribed antibiotics so really unsure here if that could’ve been a factor?

Does anybody know how much the pills or sa abortion cost at planned parenthood California with insurance ?

I hope my story helps someone else… I’ve been active on this board since my SA one month ago today and have seen so many stories where women haven’t been supported enough in their abortions and I want to share a best case scenario so you can see just how much has to go right to feel good about your experience as quickly as I have.

My husband and I were unsure we wanted a 2nd- we went back and forth for about a year- and were trying thinking once we got pregnant it would all be good. When I found out I was pregnant i immediately felt terror and dread but kept it to myself for about a week. My mental health spiraled in that time- and finally I told him I didn’t think I could do it. I was worried he would be upset- but he told me he was okay with termination as he was on the fence anyways and could see my mental health was at major risk. I had PPD bad with my son, and I could see it all coming back quickly.

I told a few friends I was pregnant- and ultimately helped me feel supported in my decision to terminate. “Your family is already perfect” they said- and it made me feel really loved.

They also helped me settle on the SA- multiple of them had them for their miscarriages- and told me it was better than doing it at home.

I live in a state with open and legal abortion. I have a clinic in my town- I was able to schedule my SA for just 5 days away once I made my choice. I was so nervous about it I went to the clinic a few days early to talk to someone about it and get my initial stuff done.

On the day of my procedure our friends picked our son up from school for us and fed him dinner so I could have my husband with me the whole time. My friends all texted me messages of love and support. The staff at planned parenthood was amazing- my experience was mostly painless, quick and supported. My husband held my hand as I cried- holding a photo of my family and a necklace my son had made me reading “I love you mom” on it.

My recovery was quickly but my mental health took a dive. I quickly found help for my mental health from urgent care who gave me some anxiety rescue meds. I was able to go to therapy multiple times following my abortion with a therapist I’ve been seeing for about a decade. She supported me and I felt like I would be okay.

One month later I feel completely okay with having had an abortion. I don’t feel guilt- and if I feel shame it’s only because society makes others believe so many bad things about it. I know I did the right thing for me and my family- and I’m so grateful for all the support I had- and I also want to thank everyone who has shared their stories here- it helped me so much.

Dare I say, I feel happy this door is now closed and I can move on with my life knowing that I’ll only have one child- and feeling thankful that I had a choice as to whether or not I carried another child… it wasn’t easy- none of it was east- but I’m okay- I’m good. I’m happy.

It’s been two days since I had a d and c and four days since I went into a new OB for my first 11 weeks, 2 days ultrasound to be told my baby was measuring 9 weeks, 1 day and that there was no heartbeat. We went back the next day to the same doctor for a second scan and the same results occurred. This time she made sure to show us the blood movement view where blood flow turns blue or red and that there was no blood flow between in the tube/placenta or in the baby’s heart. I’m no doctor so I have to assume she was looking in the right spots. It seemed legit so we scheduled the d and c because I think that method would have been easiest on me and we had a vacation coming up in the next few days that I didn’t want this to happen during.

This sucks and I’m grieving. And some of that involves watching similar stuff on TikTok because I guess it makes me feel not alone in this experience.

But I found a video of someone saying they went in for their 9 week scan and the dr couldn’t find a heartbeat. Then they decided to wait and now they have a (fill in the blank) —- year old kid and look he’s thriving. And so many comments on the video say “omg same experience as me!” “We got a second opinion and she found the heartbeat” etc etc.

I was slowly coming to terms with the fact that this sucks and has happened to our family but now I’m all in my head with the what ifs. What if that doctor was an idiot. What if my baby was alive still too? Did I kill my baby that I so terribly wanted!?

I fear talking to my husband about this because he’s hurt too and I don’t want to put these thoughts in his head too. I don’t think that’s fair of me if he doesn’t have them already. But I’m all in my head now feeling horrible and that maybe I should have waited.

Give it to me honestly please. I don’t want it sugar coated because I have feelings. Should I have gotten a second opinion on my situation? Could my baby have been alive still too? I will say that I am 100% sure that my dates were correct because I had been tracking for months.

I am grappling with a difficult decision and I want to hear different perspectives. If someone has already had a child of one gender and wants to have a second child of the opposite gender, but then gets pregnant and finds out the baby is the same gender as the first, and considers an abortion for that reason. Has anyone had the same experience and what are your thoughts?

38(F) took the morning after pill in Feb due to an accident with the condom. Newly dating (date 3 😳) a great guy but didn’t want to get pregnant at such early days. Anyhow, period late, positive test, morning after didn’t work.

Booked to go private as didn’t want to wait (NHS was up to 3 weeks wait just for a consultation). My partner & I drove to England from Scotland for the scan & pills. Embryo in the correct place, I was given the oral pill but had to take the other 4 up my back end right away due to not being allowed to take them across the boarder. They assured me at only 5 weeks pregnant the chances of it not working were slim at 3/5%.

Got home, had severe cramping for a couple of days & passed tissue. Bleeding on and off days after but seemed to be normal. I then started having random huge gushes of blood, no cramping or fever etc though. I felt ok.

I called the service just incase (my fertility is very important to me, I’d like the option of a baby in the next year). I was told to go to A&E right away! I had bloods taken for infection (no infection) I was still showing up very pregnant. Had a scan which showed retained tissue (lots of it!) 3-5cms of it, there was no damage to my ovaries or womb etc, just the stuck tissue.

The doctor advised me to either take more pills or opt for the surgical procedure. I asked him what he would advise, he said the surgery. So I was kept overnight & went in for surgery first thing in the morning, they even gave me preventative antibiotics. My theory is they were worried the longer the tissue stayed the more likely an infection & potential damage to my womb. The blood gushing was my body trying really really hard to flush out the pregnancy tissue but unfortunately struggling. I knew my pregnancy was a strong robust pregnancy, the shell surrounding the embryo was clearly very determined it was staying!

Anyhow. The surgery was 10-15 mins. I was tested again for infection, my womb & ovaries were checked during the procedure. The doctor came in to tell me all the tissue was removed with no damage to my womb (they also gave me pills prior to relax & open my cervix so they could “get in” without force or causing damage). I was kept in for 5 hours & checked in every hour. The bleeding stopped, had a bit of diarrhoea & cramping but nothing like the medical abortion.

The MA is meant to be less “abrasive” but if I had to do it again (which I won’t) I’d opt for surgical all the way. I felt like I was in very safe hands, my partner stayed with me the whole time & it was an all round “better” experience. It’s now the day after & I’m feeling well. I’m still worried I’ll get an infection somehow but I think that’s down to the bad experience I had with the MA. I have a slight twing in my left lower side which is currently making me feel a bit paranoid but given my experience it’s no wonder! I’ll be keeping an eye on that as I’m worried about an infection. Wondering if the left side pain is due to a damaged tube from a previous ectopic though.

If you are still bleeding after two weeks I’d advise you to go to A&E. Thank god I did! I dread to think the outcome if I’d assumed it was “normal”.

I had a medical abortion on Thursday, I am wondering now if I can switch to tampons since I don’t usually wear pads on my monthly cycles. I can’t find any information on whether that is okay or not my bleeding in between and varies. Thursday was heavy and Friday morning very light, got heavy towards the afternoon and then got light again, this morning my flow hasn’t been really heavy nor light in between at a medium Flow. Would it be safe to use tampons or continue to use max pads?