r/adhdwomen • u/eucalyptusmacrocarpa • 27d ago
General Question/Discussion What's the dopamine hit that will replace doomscrolling in the evening?
Evening phone use is KILLING me, I just need a little something nice to look forward to before I go to sleep, but instead, I fall into a vortex.
What little something nice do you look forward to in the evening? (G rated answers only!)
EDIT: you guys delivered! thanks everyone for your suggestions! TIL that doomscrolling doesn't mean what I think it means. I meant "being glued to a screen" which could be social media, but also shopping for socks, or any vortex.
I'm not sure if screens should really be part of my time in bed because obviously my self-control is low at that time. So I'm going to try some of these analogue suggestions.
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u/maultaschen4life 27d ago
this is not as wholesome as everyone else but i haven’t been able to fully detach from my phone, so i use the Libby app to read library ebooks for free. with settings on nighttime mode it’s less disruptive to sleep, and less stressful than doomscrolling. just in case someone wants an easier-to-switch-to habit than the other options here! i will take up crocheting one day…
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u/acceptablemadness 26d ago
<Librarian has entered the chat>
You can get Libby on ereaders like Kindle and Kobo. I personally have a Kobo because the features are limited, so I can't doomscroll or get sucked into news or a game or something.
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u/Struggling_Intr0vert 26d ago
Can you please share the steps on how to download books from Libby to Kindle? I've tried multiple times but can't get anything on Kindle. The Libby app would show it's been borrowed/shared but nothing really comes up on Kindle.
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u/eucalyptusmacrocarpa 26d ago
Yes but then you can spend all night reading ebooks ...
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u/Cabbagecatss 26d ago
Surely that argument is valid for anything, you could spend all night crocheting too (for example)
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u/eucalyptusmacrocarpa 26d ago
I know (and I have). But there's something about reading on a screen that keeps me reading way later than a paper book.
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u/Mental_Message80 26d ago
Agreed. I need the turning of pages to stop me either "next page" or "next chapter". Ebooks are my waiting room go-to.
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u/maultaschen4life 26d ago
the trick is finding a book that is a bit interesting but not interesting enough to choose it over sleep
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u/WandererOfInterwebs 26d ago
Yes this lol. I am currently reading one interesting enough to pick up before bed but not so suspenseful that I won’t go to bed.
It’s tricky.
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u/ThisIsTheBookAcct 26d ago
I wish I could customize the screen time app, because I don’t think that libby, hoopla, spotify, or podcasts count as screen time. I’m literally not looking at the screen! And often I’m doing chores or something, so it’s TWO good things.
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u/packedsuitcase 27d ago
Okay, I'm actually about to start trying to change my nighttime routine and this is what I'm excited about incorporating:
Phone out of the bedroom. I spent money on a fancy alarm clock and a bedside lamp so I can read and don't need to use my phone as my alarm. I buy physical books that make me happy to look at and have near my bed, which has the extra bonus of being easier to put down when I'm actually tired. (Stage 1)
Shower at night. Now that I'm eating breakfast in the mornings before work, I need to move that time and there's something really nice about slipping a clean body into clean sheets. (Stage 2)
Fancy pajamas. I want to buy cute, matching pajamas sets so that I can take my clean body and put it in cute pajamas and put my cute, clean self into clean sheets. (Stage 3)
Fancy bed spray. I'm going to buy lavender bed spray and spray the bed with it each night before I take a shower so it's calming and smells pretty. (Undecided, possibly stage 0 since I can grab it on my way home tonight.)
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u/elwillteach 27d ago
I love these! I’m looking into getting an alarm clock too because the doom scrolling and ideas popping into my head that “I must investigate right this very second” is killing me as well.
What fancy alarm clock did you get? I also have a baby in my room so I’m looking for one that’s not too abrupt when it goes off (ie I can hear it before he does! That way I can still slip out of bed and get shit done before he wakes up, hopefully!)
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u/packedsuitcase 27d ago
I got the Philips one that slowly lights up the room and I wake up to the sound of birds chirping. I got the one with the app that records temp and sound levels, which I don't use often, but is helpful for those nights when I'm trying to figure out why I can't fall asleep. It also has a wind down routine I used a lot when I lived alone, where I can set a length of time and it goes from kind of a bright red light and basically mimics a sunset and has white noise options to help me focus more on the "going to sleep" part of the day. 50/50 results, but I always had my phone/Kindle so I think some of the darkening room effect was lost on me.
It isn't cheap, I definitely splurged, but it is really, really nice.
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u/UncannyVeganTaco 26d ago
I have a Philips clock like this one! This plus blackout curtains means I always feel like I’m waking up with the sunrise regardless of the time! SUUUUUUPER recommend!
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u/packedsuitcase 26d ago
As soon as I find magically un-climbable curtains (freaking cats, man) I will 100% be doing this
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u/QuokkaSoul 26d ago
One idea I offer for cats who climb curtains that works for us, is that we gave them tall things to climb under / near around the curtains. So the curtains became less interesting than the climbing (apparatus? (I feel like 'apparatus' is such an Autistic Word (as in, "only a word Autists use because it is the most precise, even if a little too heavy for the sentence."))).
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u/packedsuitcase 26d ago
We have all the parts for a cat wall I planned to build, but then one type of platform didn't come with its own screws annnnnnnnd we've had the pieces in a box for 3 months. This is definitely our plan to tackle the climbing because they love being UP, but it turns out the orange one also just likes climbing things like his future depends on getting the fastest time climbing the rope in gym class. (We have a light above our dining table that is plugged into the wall and kind of swagged up to the ceiling using some hooks (old apartment problems) and he tried climbing it this morning. He got about 2/3 of the way up, too.)
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u/QuokkaSoul 26d ago
I am so impressed with cat agility and speed!!! I love that description!!!
So annoying that it didn't come with the screws needed. That can be such a productivity stopper.
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u/packedsuitcase 26d ago
When he's not supremely irritating, he's so so impressive. If he gets a running start he doesn't need to climb very much, he can launch himself and get almost 3/4 of the way up. Like honestly if I had his strength-to-body weight ratio I'd basically be a superhero.
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u/QuokkaSoul 26d ago
Thank you! This is such a wonderful Autistic Morning! Celebrating Cats with Strangers on the Internet!
Edited to add: on a Thread about Dopamine!
I love us!
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u/acceptablemadness 26d ago
I gave up on not having cats on the curtains and just bought good thick ones that hold up decently. 5 cats and the youngest is orange, so...
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u/other-words 26d ago
I have the moderately-priced one and it’s great! It helps my kids wake up in a better mood too.
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u/jkmjtj 26d ago
The moderately priced Philips or other brand? Sorry my brain gets lost in the scrolling despite searching for alternatives to the scrolling.
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u/ladylame_ 26d ago
I think they’re talking about the Amazon dupes. My partner has one of those and I have the Phillips that I got used from eBay. The Phillips is bigger and the gradual light transition seems to be smoother, but they both work great!
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u/other-words 26d ago
I have the Philips one that’s around $100 (I got an open box one for around $85). There’s a fancier one for closer to $200.
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u/OdraDeque 26d ago
Daylight alarm clocks are great! I bought a refurbished one (lumie) 10 years ago because you can change the light bulbs.
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u/MsThreepwood 26d ago
Do you have a smart watch? I set my alarms on my watch so they just vibrate when I need to wake up! Virtually no sound, so it doesn't wake anyone else up either, and my phone doesn't need to be nearby for it to work. If you don't have one, I bet you could find a cheap one to just use at night!
I think they also make alarm clocks that will somehow vibrate your bed to wake you up? I've never used one, and they might be louder than a watch, but they could also be an option to look into if a watch isn't for you
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u/Formal_Butterfly_753 26d ago
You got great ideas for alarm clocks, but for the ideas popping into your head maybe it’s worth having a little notepad by the bed?
If you’re someone that gets a little obsessive over the thought and feels like you can’t put it away until you’ve investigated it, maybe just being able to write what you want to investigate down it can calm it because you can tell yourself you’ll look into it the next day. And honestly it might not matter if you look into or not, sometimes it’s just the act of acknowledging the thought too ya know? Might take a while for it to work because that part of the brain won’t be happy overnight about it lol
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u/GhostFaceNappa 26d ago
Piggybacking on what packedsuitcase said, I also bought a Phillips clock but I got an older model (HF3520) on EBay for $40. It does not connect to an app like the newer models, but the light mimics the sunrise and it plays bird chirps and nature sounds.
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u/acertaingestault 26d ago
I keep a little notebook and pen by my bedside to empty all the thoughts that won't leave as I'm trying to fall asleep. You don't have to investigate it to get rid of it, just write it down for later.
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u/ThisIsTheBookAcct 26d ago
Oh yeah. I forgot in my comment to have an alarm clock that can dim. With timeblindness, I need the time in my face, but I don’t want the light in my face.
And cute little animal type ones make me like “hey little buddy.”
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u/OkTacoCat ADHD-C 26d ago
I got a real alarm clock and book light and have proceeded to use neither because ADHD. Good for you sticking to it!!
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u/packedsuitcase 26d ago
Hahaha, let's be real - this is the plan. I have had the alarm clock for over a year. The book light gets used, though. I just also have my phone on a charging stand right next to it.
That said, everything goes off at 8 and my partner very gently suggested changing the time on a device or two because right at 8 he gets my alarm clock, my phone alarm (for my medicine), the cat's automatic feeder, and the automatic litter box does its first clean of the day. It's a little overstimulating.
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u/Specific-Writing-287 26d ago
Saying this gently... Are you sure you're not just enjoying the initial thrill of buying new things? Just noticed that most of the changes you're excited about are associated with buying something new. What happens once the initial excitement wears off?
(No hate ofc, and more power to you if this is something you're mindful of and can afford it. Just something to be aware of.)
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u/OohBeesIhateEm 26d ago
Ugh this is a major issue for me, especially lately. I sometimes don’t even open the packages for days/weeks because the dopamine wore off before the thing even got here 🙈
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u/Gloomy_Arachnid8010 26d ago
The worst is when you pack everything up for a return and then miss the deadline 🥲 Happened to me, and it cost me a hefty £370 🥹
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u/LaDiDa84 26d ago
Ahhh, I’ve found my people, lol. 🥹 I have multiple packages currently sitting at the door as we speak. Both unopened boxes of stuff I ordered in late night whims + never sent returns that have collected dust and make me shed a tear for my bank account as I shuffle out the door.
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u/LillyLally13 27d ago
I love no phones in the room! Sometimes I wake up around 3 am and I reach for my phone before I even attempt to go back to sleep!
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u/TropicalBlueWater 26d ago
I’d love to do this but I want my phone nearby in case of emergency like an intruder or big earthquake. I randomly picture myself trapped under rubble with no phone 🤦♀️🤪
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u/socialmediaignorant 26d ago edited 26d ago
Add a good book and cute book light and this is me! I cannot touch the phone after a shower or it kills my sleep. Really trying to do better this year.
I do NOT recommend essential oils bc pets and humans can get very sick from them.
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u/SoulDancer_ 26d ago
I LOOOOVE clean body into clean bed! It's the nicest feeling. Specially when you have the right sheets.
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u/serotonin_booster 26d ago
On the pajamas:
It might take some time to build up but get enough sets to last from laundry day to laundry day plus one AND store them near or on the way to the shower. Mine are in a drawer right next to the bedroom door (on the way to the bathroom) but there is absolutely no law saying they can’t be in a basket in your bathroom somewhere.
I also built a collection of skin care cloths/bundles. Each set has a dark washcloth for makeup removal, a light washcloth for drying, and two of those fuzzy wristbands wrapped around it. I also keep the small item laundry bag in same basket so they are ready to be thrown in the washer.
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u/Beautiful-Pool-6067 26d ago
I was just telling my partner that I need an alarm clock so I don't have to rely on my phone.
I try to read before bed, but if I get into it I find myself reading 100 pages and still staying up late. It is probably still better for the brain and my eyes though.
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u/LightningRainThunder 26d ago
Hint because sprays and things are my special interest right now: look into buying a pure essential oils lavender spray. Normal shop bought sprays are usually stuffed full of synthetic chemicals (even if they claim to be natural) which smell nice and might seem to help initially, but they’re not doing you much good to breathe in.
Essential oils on the other hand have some great properties and the smell you get is THE actual smell of lavender and is so lovely and calming.
I recommend the Tisserand sleep better sprays and oils, sooo nice and very pure.
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u/vvitchobscura 26d ago
Also be careful of which essential oils used if you have pets! I'm ultra cautious of what I use around my cat, I often just put a few drops of lavender oil directly on my pillow where he won't touch or come into close contact with it. All the soothing benefits and a happy healthy kitty :)
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u/packedsuitcase 26d ago
Good point! We have 3 cats, and while they generally avoid the head of the bed, generally =/= always.
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u/LightningRainThunder 26d ago
Oh yes excellent point! Definitely do your research around oils and animals, and also your own skin. They have to be heavily diluted for your skin but premixed sprays are fine to use as they are.
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u/socialmediaignorant 26d ago
This. Pets can die from essential oils in the air. And they can also irritate human lungs and might even be endocrine disrupters. Forgo the essential oils and have a nice soy candle. Most of mine give off a lovely smell even when not lit.
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u/CriticalFields 26d ago
Why are essential oil chemicals safer to breathe in than the synthetic chemicals?
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u/Paris_to_velaris 26d ago
This is (one of the reasons) why I love r/adhdwomen 🥰 just the vibes are so sweet and lovely here
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u/Jane_Angst 27d ago
I crochet blankets, nice repetitive patterns. I can’t scroll/read at the same time as crocheting, and a glass of wine will last me an hour because my hands are busy, win win!
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u/Achoudhry 27d ago
I usually have an audiobook or podcast going while I’m crocheting. I only work on “smaller projects”. I tried doing a moss stitch blanket and lost interest with how slowly it went. Haha
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u/Acceptable-Hope- 27d ago
That sounds so nice and soothing 🥹 I realized that too with my knitting, projects with the smaller needles take forever and I get bored and frustrated not seeing any progress so have switched to larger needle projects and it’s way more fun 🤗
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u/greytcharmaine 26d ago
I often have 2 projects going: one is my TV/reading/listening project that is a repeating stitch, and the other is something more complex that requires actual thought and focus. It's nice to choose which type of relaxation I want!
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u/BlueishRaptor3 26d ago
I usually have at least 3 because I get bored with the same repetitive stitch. I also need one portable small project to fiddle with at kids' activities and such.
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u/SylvanField 26d ago
I also do crafts! Totally settles my brain, even if I have a tv show or audiobook going in the background.
I spent way too long not crafting in the evenings, and my husband “banished” me to the basement one night when I was super stressed and told me not to come back until I’d done some crafting.
I came back up an hour later, and kept turning around in a slow circle. He asked what I was doing and I said “I’m looking for the voices in my head. They’re all silent and it feels weird.”
The “voices in my head” are all my voice, they’re the six trains of thought running simultaneously.
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u/MsThreepwood 26d ago
Your husband sounds like a smart man 🥰
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u/SylvanField 26d ago
He’s also occasionally packed my gym bag, handed me my keys and (gently) shoved me out the door to go exercise. He always seems to know what I need when I’m too wrapped up in my head to see the way out of the stress.
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u/SoulDancer_ 26d ago
It's axtually really simple! (What we need to destress). Its just SO HARD to know, and then to actually get ready to do it when we're in the space.
I'm trying to get into the routine of just reaching for a pen/pencil in those super stress moments. It's so helpful but it's often hars to do and I get tied up in WHICH PEN and WHICH notebook.
I now have a cheap but pretty "rant book" which absolutely ANYTHING can go in so I don't "ruin" a good notebook.
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u/Moblin_Hunter 26d ago
THIS. THIS SHOULD BE THE STANDARD!
I love this for you. Amazing. It brings me so much joy when I hear people speaking about their significant others in this way.
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u/bikebreakfast 26d ago
"The “voices in my head” are all my voice, they’re the six trains of thought running simultaneously."
I've never had my brain explained to me better before
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u/SylvanField 26d ago
It’s a weird mix of actively thinking about multiple things, but also passively listening to multiple versions of yourself talk over you?
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u/folklovermore_ 27d ago
My version of this is embroidery/cross stitch or dressmaking. And tea or water rather than wine, because I am a spiller. But it definitely works to prevent doomscrolling because of hands being otherwise occupied!
However, I would also advise using printed instructions rather than on your phone if possible, to avoid picking up your phone to check how to do something and then falling into the doomscrolling trap.
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u/MsThreepwood 26d ago
Printed instructions for my various crafts have been a game changer for me! I like to print them out on half sheets of cardstock, especially if it's a larger project that I know I'll be spending a long time on. They last longer, and they feel more... official? Refined? Something like that. So my brain gets a little bit more dopamine from the weight of the paper
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u/Unusual_Tune8749 27d ago
I will admit, with a repetitive pattern, I will read a book on my Kindle while I crochet. 😆 No phone scrolling though!
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u/slyest_fox 27d ago
Wow! I hope to be able to get to that level. I just taught myself to crochet and I definitely can’t do anything at the same time.
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u/ThisIsTheBookAcct 26d ago
It depends on the stitch, but most become automatic after one project, like a pot holder or something. I will caveat that I started with knitting, but now it takes maybe a hundred stitches is either craft to get it enough for the rest of the project.
Now if I learn a stitch and don’t use it again for a year, then I basically have to relearn it.
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u/editorgrrl 26d ago
I call r/knitting and r/crochet my “occupational therapy.” They build mastery, self soothe, and keep my hands and mind busy.
I use a self care app, r/Finch, where you take care of a bird by taking care of yourself.
Positive spaces include r/oldhagfashion and r/WitchesVsPatriarchy
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u/ShaNaNaNa666 26d ago
I just started to learn how to knit! So far made a few bad coasters, working on a scarf. Last night, I forced myself out of a doom scroll evening to go to the store and buy some affordable tools. I took a cheap class around a month ago and want to take it again to get me out of my apartment,sknce I work from home and live alone 😭.
Knitting keeps me off my phone at night and helps me fall asleep. Wish I could've learned sooner or in life.
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u/wookieejesus05 27d ago
Yep! I crochet too while watching tv next to my my doomscrolling husband lol
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u/mschanandlerbibs 26d ago
I do that too! I put on videos about a subject that I’m studying because if I’m doing something that I don’t need to think so much about, it helps me concentrate on what the person is talking. The negative side is that I want to take notes because my memory is lousy, so I have to stop crocheting to do that. :(
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u/Acct24me 27d ago
Coloring books for adults plus a nice audiobook.
These days I prefer a fat old Russian novel plus this book. AMAZING.
Alternatively, the coloring books can also be paired with trash TV where you don’t really need to look at the screen.
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u/Alextheseal_42 26d ago
Coloring books and audio books are an AMAZING combination. I read 54 books last year that way.
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u/ScorpionPriestess 27d ago
I came to say colouring and trash TV too. Totally got wrapped up in the cute and cozy books from Jade Summers and Bobbie Goods and the alcohol markers trend that's all over tiktok. The simple pictures don't get me overwhelmed, and it's a nice wind down thing to do!
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u/slithyknid 27d ago
That “Rooms of Wonder” book looks so cool!!
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u/Acct24me 27d ago
The pictures are so creative! It’s so much fun. The author, Johanna Basford, has illustrated many good coloring books, but this one is my favorite.
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u/other-words 26d ago
Thank you! I just impulsively purchased the book & a nice set of pencils, with the goal of starting a new routine tonight of coloring and watching “What We Do in the Shadows”…🤞🏼I’ll see how it goes!
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u/orphickalon 26d ago
Coloring destresses me, too. I also color on my lunch break at work sometimes.
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u/queencity_lab 26d ago
Similarly but alternatively: I do word searches, crossword puzzles and word games apps on my phone. I’ve tried tons of coloring/activity books but I would get stressed having to pull out/put away all the supplies each time (which is totally just a “me” problem lol). And I can’t do it while laying horizontally on the couch 😂 so word puzzles and kindle books let me use my phone in a more productive way! I find they also help tire my brain out and thus fall asleep easier!
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u/Tappadeeassa 26d ago
Do you use markers or colored pencils? I’m trying to get into coloring, but I get frustrated if the color doesn’t look perfect.
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u/MsThreepwood 26d ago
Try looking up acrylic markers! Definitely go through reviews that have pictures so you can see how consistent the color is on different brands, but there are some really nice ones out there that are pretty solid. I've also heard that gel crayons (I think they're usually marketed as being for toddlers) are really great for this as well!
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u/No-Management2885 26d ago
Gel pens are my go-to! I recommend Papermate Inkjoy. They flow smoothly so it doesn't require much pressure and the color doesn't bleed and spread like markers, so it's easier to control where the color goes and get into tight spaces.
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u/Tattedtail 27d ago
Free-to-air tv (because after the episode ends, I'm done. No "just one more ep before bed...")
Sitting by an open window and listening to classical music on the radio (similar reason. The evening program stops at 10pm, then bedtime).
Nice shower before bed (light some candles instead of using the bathroom lights, use the aromatherapy body wash, get into comfy pajamas). This is complicated somewhat now that I have long hair.
Lie on the couch with a warm drink, my funky moon lamp as the only light source, and daydream for half an hour. I try to get the daydream to a comforting place in the 'story', brush my teeth, and then mentally hang in that scene until I fall asleep.
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u/all_up_in_your_genes 26d ago
I don’t know if it would help, but this shower cap is lovely! It’s a tube and you roll up the back instead of trying to shove your hair into it. And silk lined!
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u/Tattedtail 26d ago
I had no idea there had been developments in shower cap design!!
Thanks for the link :D
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u/Outrageous_Cry8964 26d ago
I need to read this entire thread. I was up until 4:30 this morning for no damn reason besides youtube shorts. I refused to download tiktok, so other platforms brought tiktok to me and I hate it.
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u/fancyschmancypantsy 26d ago
"other platforms brought tiktok to me and I hate it"
SAMEE. I keep deleting all social media and then caving again because I miss updates from friends and family.
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u/brill37 27d ago
Crochet. I'm not even good at it, but I started because it gives my hands something to do and it's quite therapeutic.
I use a picky pad as well. If I'm really restless I'll pick the beads out of it while watching TV. I have a reusable one from Etsy though because I pick them so quick. It'd be expensive and poor for the environment if I kept burning through them so I invested in one that was about 20 quid, but I can remelt and repick it.
If you like games, Nintendo Switch is low effort console being handheld.
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u/maha611 27d ago
ADHDer here whos been looking at crocheting for years but overthinking + executive function troubles. Can you help me out? What are the basic items needed to start crocheting? What are they called. How big was the learning curve
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u/toadgymbr0 27d ago
You just need a crochet hook and yarn to start! But my recommendation as ADHD is that you find the project you want to start BEFORE buying this materials. If you look up "crochet + begginer friendly" on YouTube you'll find lots of projects, my first project was a beanie hat. Don't start with long projects such as blankets because adhd will make you give up eventually. 🫠 Once you find your project, you'll be able to choose a yarn which is more suitable for that project specifically! Other recommendation is to look up for tutorials on basic crocheting skills such as learning the basic stitches. And that's all! Crocheting is a skill you'll learn and improve soooo fast! Enjoy!
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u/MsThreepwood 26d ago
This for sure! Every time I pick up a new craft, it's because I've seen a picture of something that I REALLY want to make. If I try to pick something up just by learning the basics without having a motivating project to work on, it'll never stick. Sometimes I'll realize I'm in a bit too far over my head with the project I chose, so I'll pause that project and find something small that's more suited for my experience level to work on while I build up the necessary skills. Then I'll go back to the one I really want to do when I'm ready.
My husband decided he wanted to learn to crochet, so he spent a few weeks just practicing by making single crochet squares out of some old yarn I had. Eventually, I got him some cotton yarn to practice with so he could at least be making dish rags 😂 Eventually, he decided that he wanted to keep going on one of his squares, so I guess it's now becoming a scarf? I do not understand how he can keep up his motivation without having an exciting project to work on, but I guess that's on not having ADHD 😅
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u/littlebunny8 27d ago
another crocheter here, id say get a hook size 4-5 and a ball of yarn and just make a rectangle
i started with a kit and it was more difficult than starting with basics, plus looked bad when I finished. after that I started just making rectangles with different stitches to practice. You can make lots of things from a simple rectangle - a winter hat, hand warmers, kitchen rags, blankets, headbands, even tops.
gl!!
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u/Cat_Lover004 27d ago
get an amigurumi kit, its basically just a small animal toy. It pretty simple because its just the same couple of stitches repeated in a circle. plus if you get a kit it comes with yarn and a hook so even if you dont like crochet you wont have spent loads of money
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u/Sensitive_Stramberry 27d ago
Start with a small $5/$10 kit from your local craft supply store. 😊
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u/maha611 27d ago
Thanks! Im going to go today! I have to see a friend this morning. Im telling her we have to go to the shop. Shell hold me accountable. lol!
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u/kaytthoms 26d ago
I started with the giant yarn blankets. All I needed was the skins of yarn and my fingers. Because the yarn was so big, I finished a blanket in a (very long) day and the dopamine from finishing a project was 10/10.
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u/MsThreepwood 26d ago
If they'd interest you, dish rags are a great place to start! Then you have an actual thing to make, rather than just practicing, and if they look bad, it doesn't matter, because it's just a rag! Buy some cotton yarn (If you're in the US, most stores except hobby lobby will have the brand Sugar 'n Cream, and it's great for these), if you look at the label, usually it'll be a size 4, like what's circled in this picture. Also, on the right, you'll see a picture of a crochet hook; that tells you the typical size hook you'll need for that size of yarn. Crochet hooks use different sizing systems, so the hooks at your shop might be labeled in mm (5mm), a letter (H), or a number (8). YouTube will give you some great beginner tutorials for how to actually crochet! Good luck!
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u/maha611 26d ago
YOU GUYS... thank you so much for the replies. I told my friend and she made sure we went to the shop No beginner kits, only intermediate and advanced. I got a set of hooks and I got 1 thing of yarn. Its been years and I can finally start tonight. I just couldnt reply to everyone But just know I reviewed the shit out of this thread while at the shop with my friend lol
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u/PastaConsumer 27d ago
I had never heard of picky pads, but now I’m gonna get one. You’ve saved my husband from me trying to pick at him lol
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u/seaglassmenagerie 27d ago
Good paperback or interesting podcast.
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u/clg167 27d ago
1000000% recommend a kindle. I used to read all the time as a kid but as an adult I always feel the need to pick up my phone and I can never retain anything I read. Anyways, I bought my kindle and read 7 400 page books in a month. Best investment ever.
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u/midwesternbaddie 26d ago
Yesss!!! I second a kindle! I’m the same way—I read all the time as a kid, but haven’t read as much as an adult bc I’m on my phone all the time. I’ve tried physical books but I can never find a comfy way to hold them when I’m in bed and I hate having to keep lights on.
So I bought a kindle recently and I love it! Obsessed with it. I got the scribe so I could journal too and it’s just so satisfying to write on it. It’s so easy to read at night, no blue light so it doesn’t disrupt your sleepiness, I have my case decorated with stickers so it’s fun to look at lol, and I still get dopamine from it but not the kind that makes me stay on it wayyy past my bedtime like my phone. 10/10 would def recommend
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u/Liz_Lemon_Parties 27d ago
I do both but race through the content then feel like I’m back to scrolling a few days later. I need bottomless podcasts 🤣
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u/casser0le98 ADHD-C 27d ago
One of my fav podcasts is “Stuff You Should Know”
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u/spacey_kitty 27d ago
How do you stop yourself from wanting to look up info post-podcast? I try podcasts (true crime) and then end up wanting to look more into the cases and inevitably end up on Reddit doomscrolling yet again
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u/eucalyptusmacrocarpa 26d ago
This is me. Listen to three episodes then it isn't moving fast enough so I go and skim read the transcripts of the other episodes then "I'll just check Reddit for case developments"
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u/casser0le98 ADHD-C 26d ago
It’s not that I stop myself, I just don’t have the opportunity to deep dive when I’m done listening, cause I:
1) only listen when I need to do a really monotonous task like an “everything shower”
2) listen while driving, and/or
3) to help me get out of bed & moving to get out the door/ do something else (depression rocks, lol 🤪)
In essence, it’s like a transition activity if that makes sense
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u/malhoward 27d ago
Regarding bottomless podcasts- for over 20 years (since 9/11) I have habitually listened to radio news or other informational podcasts. Depending on what scratches your particular brain itch, I bet there’s nearly unlimited content out there. For years my brain candy was true crime almost exclusively, and science nerd ate up Radiolab (the early episodes). In the last month or so I’ve been on a SNL kick. There’s a TON of content. (If you need a list from these subjects let me know.)
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u/2020hindsightis 26d ago
What other sciencey podcasts do you like?
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u/malhoward 26d ago
This one is light, usually- Medical Mysteries with Mr. Ballen. I haven’t been on a science kick in a while so I can’t remember more, but I really really love Radiolab. But start at the beginning. Later episodes didn’t interest me as much. The episodes I loved covered things like face blindness, brain activity loops, ( the name of the episode is Loops), planes with cameras that can surveil an area and solve crime (I gotta look for the name of this episode ). EDIT TO ADD Eye in the Sky
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u/Safe_Chemical_5946 27d ago
Paint by numbers! It doesn't require any creative ability, but it takes your full concentration, I love it (just need to work out how to offload the finished ones 😆)
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u/Spiritual_Poem8 ADHD 26d ago
Came here to say this! Also, check with your local thrift, they might be willing to buy from you to sell for a higher price.
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u/Icy-County 27d ago
As many others have said Knitting/crocheting while watching a show or listening to an audiobook. My rule is that I can’t start a new episode after 21:45 or I’ll just continue all night lol
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u/Formal_Coyote_5004 27d ago
My new hobby is embroidery, which is similar cause you can listen to stuff while you work. It’s true crime shows and embroidery for me, even if the embroidery part only lasts for a short while before I switch to video games 😂
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u/esmebium 27d ago
Crossword puzzles. Keeps the brain engaged just enough to let sleep sneak up and smother my consciousness with a pillow. Otherwise I embroider while something mindless is on on the TV.
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u/Alextheseal_42 26d ago
This is one of my best ways to fall asleep. The NYT crossword app is like sleeping medication when I use it in bed.
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u/abbsbadabbs 27d ago
Oh girl I read. Fantasy romance, romance, historical fiction, occasional mystery. I look forward to it every night.
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u/blueeyed94 26d ago
You know that you probably called 80% of us out because we stumbled across your post while doomscrolling, right? 😂 But thank you, that is my last comment for the day ( no, really).
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u/peach1313 27d ago
I play a puzzle game on my phone. Any cosy, relaxing, low stakes game should do the trick.
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u/TrademarkHomy 27d ago
Out of bed: creative hobbies (with or without podcast), sketching, plant care.
In bed: combination of low-effort but relaxing entertainment (reading, sketching, a show) and having a tasty snack (I like making mini charcuterie plates) and/or nice drink (chai tea, decaf cappuchino, hot chocolate, a cocktail).
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u/everythingbagel1 27d ago
This sounds so silly but drinking a sparkling water (or having a treat) and tv/reading. The water is light and fruity and refreshing and just brightens my mood. Especially right after a hot shower
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u/doctorace AuDHD-PI 26d ago
Beverages are a lovely stim. We got a home water fizzer. I like to put some slices of grapefruit in mine.
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u/pantzareoptional 26d ago
I might be too late to this convo but, I actually asked ChatGTP to make me a schedule of things I can do on a rotating nightly basis, focusing on creativity, self-care, and relaxation instead of doom scrolling:
🌿 Make It Monday – A night for creative projects, like oil pastels, journaling, or experimenting with recipes.
📖 Try It Tuesday – A day to explore new things (a new recipe, a different tarot spread, a new book, a different type of meditation, etc.).
🔥 Wind Down Wednesday – A cozy, slower night focused on relaxation—candles, tea, a bath, a favorite book or show.
🃏 Tarot Thursday – A dedicated night for tarot practice, and journaling spreads.
🌲 Fresh Air Friday – An evening to connect with nature, whether that’s a night walk, sitting outside, or grounding with house plants.
🍲 Savor It Saturday – A night for enjoying food intentionally—a home-cooked meal, a fun snack board, or a special drink ritual.
🎮 Slow Down Sunday – A low-key reset night, for cozy gaming, reading, or prepping for the week ahead.
However, I am pretty loose with it-- if something doesn't fit a given day, I do whatever I want. But I find having a (loose) theme for the night helps me not be like "do I do A B C or D tonight?" And then spending forever deciding and doing nothing.
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u/Goosedog_honk 26d ago edited 26d ago
Video games. I had this problem and I told myself I should start playing my Switch instead of brain rotting through social media for hours and it’s been working. So well that I even bought myself a Steam Deck last month 😆
Sure, it’s still a screen. And maybe some will look down on video games; maybe you think it’s a waste of time, etc. But I see it as a fun hobby that can challenge the brain in different ways depending on what you’re playing. It lets me unwind and relax without doom scrolling through social media which I feel is so much worse for so many reasons.
I literally posted a question like this months ago, and got lots of similar answers. Crochet. Reading. Etc. all of which I enjoy! But they don’t scratch that same “I have absolutely no energy but do not want to sleep yet” itch as the doom scrolling. But video games do. You can literally just lie there lol.
I think it’s important to get an external device like a switch rather than play games on your phone as you don’t want to be distracted by the other apps (also I feel like phone games tend to have way more of that pay to play stuff which is terrible for other reasons)
If you have never been into video games, fear not! There are SO MANY different kinds now. Like you can even just play cute little puzzle games, like Cats Organized Neatly as an example. Or check out r/cozygamers for lots of different low stress gaming if Elden Ring isn’t your thing lol.
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u/Greasystools 26d ago
I got sober in my 30’s with jigsaw puzzles. Multiple boxes of 1000-piece puzzles and as I sat down to them, I reminded myself that it’s not about doing puzzles, it is about getting practice not drinking (doomscrolling). Change takes practice, give yourself time to develop a substitute for the bad habit
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u/Thequiet01 27d ago
I read. But also a tiny dose of IR Adderall. Takes the “omg need dopamine” edge off in the evening.
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u/maneack 27d ago
whenever i feel like i’m going down the doomscrolling hole i just delete everything lol. i tried everything but it just never works. i realized how tiring and boring doomscrolling was. literally never had the urge to pick up my phone again and just went to sleep. downloaded them since then because i have too much free time to kill in public etc but occasionally delete/reinstall
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u/tossmycaravan 27d ago
I like to knit while watching a movie or a few episodes of a show. I also sometimes read books on my phone, or listen to a podcast and stretch.
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u/Creepy_Biscuit 27d ago
If you're into reading, you could do that instead. The best part is that for most books, you can read them on your phone. Personally, I love reading books but if I'm unsure of some book, instead of blind buying it, I try reading it on my phone first but I also know people who generally find it easier to read exclusively on their phones anyway.
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u/Pineapple_Incident17 26d ago
The thing that’s helped me most is using the Finch app! It’s focused on self care by caring for a cute lil baby bird, and I love checking in with him every day. It also as self care strategies you can do, so I started doing the “name your emotion” one whenever I found myself doom scrolling. They give you a list of emotions to choose from which really helps me because sometimes I just can’t think of the word, ya know? I started noticing a pattern that I doom scroll when I’m bored or avoiding something or really feeling any negative emotion. Just that awareness has helped me recognize when I’m doing it instead of scrolling for fun.
Surprisingly I’ve also had better luck with playing Zelda on my switch lite before bed. When I get tired I start making little mistakes, and I don’t want to mess up so it’s easier for me to put it away. YMMV on this one though!
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u/possible_capybara 27d ago
jigsaw puzzles, crochet / cross stitch, nice cup of tea / hot chocolate, reading on kindle (better screen)
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u/Hope_for_tendies 27d ago
Ole Smokey Moonshine Peaches
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u/eucalyptusmacrocarpa 26d ago
Is this a collection of things or one thing?
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u/Hope_for_tendies 26d ago
Technically a collection of peach slices 😄 they’re so good. I eat 2-4 pieces and pretend it’s healthy lol. Someday I’m going to make like a little one serving peach cobbler or crisp with them and add some oats and cinnamon and nutmeg and a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Probably never get my shit together but I think about it 🤣
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u/eucalyptusmacrocarpa 26d ago
Whoever invented this is a genius!
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u/Hope_for_tendies 26d ago
There’s so freaking good! There is cherries and pineapples too but I haven’t tried them yet.
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u/pajcat 26d ago
Jigsaw puzzle with music, podcast or comfy tv show for background/keeping your brain busy! I find it hard to start a puzzle sometimes (so many pieces at the beginning!) But sorting is great for hyperfocusing and there's nothing like the constant little dopamine hits when you fit pieces together!
The podcast or show/movie helps me to keep track of time, otherwise I can "one more piece" myself into staying up waaayyy too late!
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u/hyperlight85 27d ago
Join us book fiends. I'm in a cosy book club discord but we have parts of the server for other genres too. We read and talk about books.
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u/UnpoeticAccount 27d ago
audiobook + craft (knitting, watercolor). I also think Duolingo doesn’t count as scrolling but YMMV.
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u/Select_Calligrapher8 27d ago
I have to put my phone into a lockbox or leave it at home while I go for a walk to properly get out of my habit of reaching for it. I've started charging it in the kitchen overnight too. Try to read or so craft instead.
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u/CellPsychological630 AuDHD 27d ago
I got fixated on those diamond painting puzzles for a while, which was great! But now there's a half finished one on my coffee table that's been there for 6 months....
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u/NeedsADistraction92 26d ago
I put time limits on the apps I tend to doom scroll on. My sister has the screen time code so I can’t just override it and it’s helped so much. I also recently wanted something creative to do with my hands while I watch tv in the evening but didn’t want a craft that I needed to repeatedly buy more supplies. My solution was a lite bright!! It’s so fun and every time I finish I have more ideas for next time.
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u/birdlion ADHD-PI 26d ago
I’m on NYT Games or working through listening to all 500 Greatest Albums of All Time
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u/saltyavocadotoast 27d ago
I walk the dog, cook dinner, play with dog a bit, watch a show, often at 9pm ish I’ll do 30-40mins on the treadmill. I usually save up a YouTube blog or show to watch on iPad on walking pad. Shower, then go to bed to read and end up doomscrolling 😂
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u/PunyCocktus 27d ago
I cannot fall asleep without reading so I use it for fun and as a sleeping pill lol - usually I like to watch sitcoms or cooking shows in the evening to unwind but the sleepiness doesn't transfer from couch to bed so I read.
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u/sheezuss_ 27d ago
I watch The Golden Girls. When I’m actively trying to sleep, I turn off the screen but leave the audio playing
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u/girlswannahavefundss 27d ago
😀 my mind spiraling into the pits of hell thinking about a situation 😀
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u/Banglophile 26d ago
Girl, this weekend I had to rawdog sleep without my normal distractions and the places my mind took me to were not nice
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u/ZaelDaemon 26d ago
This is a totally me thing and it won’t help people with sensitivity issues. Therabody sleep mask. It’s calming, vibrates, reduces dark circles and you can’t use your phone while it’s on. I’m going to get one in a couple of weeks. I’m imagining all the money I will save on eye creams and the reduced number of headaches. It may help with the teeth grinding but I won’t know until I try it.
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u/KisOThundr 26d ago
Crochet, mosaic crochet: you focus on one row with simple stitch types - one or the other.
Audiobooks: The Wandering Inn. The BEST longest running series. The voice actor, Andrea Parsneau, is amazing. She voices well over 40 different characters. This series is all about the female leads. There are all types of women taking charge, holding their own. It's cozy litrpg and simply my favorite thing. Props to anonymous author Pirateaba.
Local NPR be cause I like learning about the world around me.
🐕 dog! I play with my dog.
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u/Thatssohavie 26d ago
I’ve started smoking, coloring and watching funny stuff or even cartoon movies like shrek or regular show. My fiance recently built me a little creative corner in our music room that I go to hide when I feel weird, anxious, sad or just creative so I can escape. You need a safe space to be creative and feel. In my lil corner it’s set up kinda like a tent. I have a small tv, coloring books, cool lights, my journal, and stuffed animals. I know this might be kind off subject but I swear if you make your space comfy and to your liking it does wonders
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u/Veruca_Salt87 26d ago
I've been cross stitching while listening to an audio book. I really love how much it keeps me off my phone.
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u/Chemical_arti_141 26d ago
I finally joined booktok and am reading, got a kindle last week. My screen time has already gone down HOURS just by switching to a different screen that doesn't have distracting notifications and apps that I can switch to without thinking about it. It's been so great.
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u/hot_pineapple9178 26d ago
A whole routine that’s only things you enjoy, like:
- eat a great dinner
- watch ONE tv episode
- turn down all the lights, light candles
- take a shower
- get in high quality pajamas
- stretch on the floor
- make a cup of tea (milk thistle with a splash of oat milk is so gentle and soothing)
- climb into bed with a book (buy a clip on book light so lights stay low)
- TELL YOURSELF this narrative on repeat (yes, even out loud): I’m treating myself, this is so nice, I’m so lucky to have a spa night, it’s so nice to be away from my dumbass phone
Basically, you just want things to feel luxurious and peaceful. If your nightly routine feels like a treat, you’ll get dopamine each night when starting this routine and you’ll look forward to it.
Someone else suggested moving the phone out of the room. You could do that and get an alarm clock, but you could also just move where you charge your phone. Mine plugs in in the other side of the room, so when I’m cozy in bed I can’t reach it. This also helps with getting up in the morning — I have to climb out to disable the alarm and then, tada! I’m up! No scrolling in bed. :)
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u/jlgjlgjlgjlgjlg 26d ago
Get in bed. Turn on an audiobook with a sleep timer. Put on my eyemask and lay like a corpse. It works 8 out of 10 times. Sometimes the book is too interesting and I keep updating the sleep timer listening to it for two hours.
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u/elwillteach 27d ago
I feel you on this one! Doom scrolling is so bad for me, but what kills me more is finally getting into bed and relaxing, and because my brain is finally resting, every idea under the sun pops into my head and I feel I need to either investigate it in great depth right this second, or at a minimum write it in my notes app to do later. Both of which use my phone. And once I’ve picked it up, I get into a hole 🤦♀️
SO, my strategies to help combat it are:
- set up downtime mode on your phone. It puts it into sleep setting of do not disturb mode by turning off all notifications and access to apps (except for ones you allow).
- Reading my kindle instead. This reduces blue light and makes my eyes feel less “alert” and allows me to become tired, which I struggle with when on my phone. However, if the book is really good, sometimes I struggle putting it down so be mindful of that 😂
- a nightly magnesium hot chocolate (made for deeper and more restful sleep, but also helps with muscle recovery overnight after a gym workout earlier in the day). Mostly it’s just yummy hehe
I want to buy an alarm clock and use that instead of my phone, so I can keep my phone out of the room. …because as much as all of the above sounds ideal, here I am, on reddit, typing this reply, when I’m supposed to be doing all of the above. It’s also 49 minutes past my scheduled “bed” time, so it’s not exactly fool proof.
(Taking suggestions if you’re from Australia and can suggest one that doesn’t “abruptly” wake you up, as I also have my baby in my room and I enjoy getting up before he wakes to get shit done haha)
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u/thekimse 27d ago
I've gotten into coloring lately, the "bold and easy" style in particular. It occupies my mind and requires the perfect amount of focus for me. r/coloring
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u/DepartmentKind3262 27d ago
Phone out of the bedroom. I shut my phone off and leave it charging in the living room. I have a separate alarm clock. I try to either read/journal/draw in the hour before I hope to fall asleep! I do slip up sometimes though, so it’s a daily thing
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u/Cha_r_ley 26d ago
I’m knitting two pairs of socks (so I can switch between projects to trick my brain into thinking we’re doing something new when it gets bored of the current pair). I’ve been binge-watching QI in the evenings with a cuppa and my knitting ☺️
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u/averagetofu 26d ago
Luckily I have a husband that has a love language of quality of time which means he hates us being on phones all night. Kind of the one thing he asked since he thinks relaxing is good for us. I don’t know how to explain that “relaxing” gives me anxiety. But he loves when I’m working on a craft! Sometimes he helps too.
I started water coloring recently. My sister got me one of those “paint your own bird” or “garden” books. No idea what I was doing but I’m kind of obsessed. Here’s the exact brand!. After, I got a plain watercolor book and now doing my own thing!
Otherwise I taught myself how to knit and crochet years ago so I can “relax” with my husband. I try to find a very difficult, challenging project so it keeps my brain active.
My husband got me a quilling set one year for Christmas. Never heard of it but it was so much fun! I think actual quilling is hard but this brand makes it super easy. All you need is glue. Uniquilling sets I use. I did the hummingbird one and gave to my mom, also completed the mermaid one for my niece’s room.
Cross-stitch sets I got from Joann’s. Felting kit from Hobby Lobby. The nice thing about crossstitch kits and felting is the kit comes with everything for under $10. If you hate it, it wasn’t a huge loss.
Adult Lego sets like flowers or recently got the Kingfisher set. Sometimes when I’m done I regift them to someone else or put on a bookshelf I got for my office.
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u/Leading-Cartoonist66 26d ago
I don’t go in the evening but regular strength training is the best dopamine hit for me. For the phone, I don’t have great self control so I have app limits on my phone with a passcode that my partner knows, but I don’t so I can’t ignore the limit. Tea and yoga before bed are good ways to wind down and don’t make me feel like crap like doom scrolling does. If you must have screen time, I find watching a good movie, esp one that you have to think about like an A24 movie is more satisfying. Reading a good book before bed is even better. Going outside to look at the moon and the stars is never a bad idea either.
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u/KillieNelson 26d ago
My evening jazz playlist! I put it on when it's time to start my bedtime rituals and seriously, I feel myself winding down with the first few bars. I look forward to my favorite riffs in each song. There are no words so that part of my brain settles down. It's the weighted blanket for my brain.
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u/fr1daypeaches 26d ago
Ok it’s not for the evening but it will tire u out so u sleep good. Metal detecting! It’s the dopamine we’ve all been looking for. Pulling a Tiffany platinum men’s wedding band out of dirt is top 10 on the rewarding scale
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u/FreshStarter20 26d ago
The Real Housewives, Love Is Blind
Mindless crap like that has worked for me.
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u/Curious-Grapefruit37 26d ago
I started reading books again. I usually do audio books or podcasts, but I haven’t been sleeping well, and I’ve been sans tech about 1.5-2 hours before bed. Grabbed a book off my shelf (one of the many things I collect that I’ll get to eventually). It’s been amazing, and I look forward to reading now before bed.
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u/MrsGita 27d ago
This is making me want to dig through my closet and find the baby blanket I started crocheting for my 6 year old 😂 I forgot I used to make hats and blankets a while back
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u/Reasonable-Stick-672 26d ago
Coloring. My books have nice repetitive geometric patterns that I can fall into. I love the colors (usually just two or three), the repetition, and creative expression. My favorite colors right now are my Sakura Jelly Roll in glitter, metallic, and other gel pens.
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u/jdowney1982 26d ago
Coloring! I love big bold coloring books from coco wyo and alcohol based markers. So relaxing.
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u/KJaneDough 26d ago
Now that it’s spring I’ve been going outside for a walk. I’m also gardening so checking on my seedlings obsessively gives me a little boost and makes me less likely to reach for my phone when I come back inside.
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u/Tough_Election_4088 26d ago
Developing a cache of hobbies, much like the way a dragon would hoard hold. It’s what I’ve done. I’ve got drawing supplies, tons of paint, fabric, thread, sewing machine, cross stitch supplies I inherited from my late MIL.
(And these things have accumulated over the years. If I can’t get it at Walmart, then I don’t have it or get it.)
I don’t feel guilty over having so much, either. My interests and hyper fixations will change. I have options to keep myself interested. If I get bored sewing, I can paint. Getting bored is dangerous so I like having a bevy of activities.
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u/Famous-Examination-8 26d ago
Try to return to paper books from your public library. There IS something light and amusing or heavy and moving for you there.
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u/Forward-Pirate4773 26d ago
Trashy novels. Trashy novels!!!! Trashy novels on your phone’s e-reader.
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u/ceebee6 26d ago
Bedtime yoga is really helpful (when I do it lol). The stretches feel good and it relaxes me.
Yoga with Kassandra on YouTube has a bunch of bedtime yoga videos, including ones you can do in bed!
Otherwise, I read books on my Kindle in bed when it’s time to go to sleep. Sometimes I stay up late reading if I’m into the book, but I see that as a positive.
For evening activities in general, I play video games or watch shows. I have more energy on the weekends to do stuff, but weeknight evenings are about that sweet, low-effort dopamine.
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u/marissazam 26d ago
I’ve started doing a rotation of reading physical books, making perler bead creations, and coloring. Keeping my mind or hands occupied as well as the dopamine from creating or getting lost in a story satisfies that part of the brain. I keep my phone near me but not really within reach. I also set a bedtime alert on my phone because I tend to get lost in my activities and don’t realize when I need to start to get ready for bed
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u/tab-infinity-nBeyond 26d ago
I use the accessibility settings on my phone to put the display in greyscale at night & it decreases the time I spend scrolling. Lowering the saturation of the colors makes it "look boring" and it's easier for me to detach instead getting caught in the loop so I can actually attempt to go to sleep.
When I can't seem to wind down and I stay up using Libby/kindle to read, I'll switch to using my ipad (also in greyscale). I only scroll reddit or any SM on my phone so it makes it easier to stay focused on reading when I use the ipad instead.
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