r/books • u/[deleted] • Aug 21 '16

One of the most powerful descriptions of suicide I've ever read. David Foster Wallace - Infinite Jest

"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."

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u/Crazycat1ady26 Aug 21 '16

The stigma around anti-depressants is terrible. I've been depressed for a few year of my life and have just learned to open up about it, but when they put me on Abilify (an anti-psychotic) I was so upset. Even after years of acceptance there was still a line that I needed to erase because it helped.

Some people really do need those fire extinguishers and there's nothing to be ashamed about.

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u/colonel_raleigh Aug 22 '16

Funny how nobody pushes epileptics to go off their medication.
It's a pretty similar situation, really: part of the brain is not processing signals normally, and this can be managed (but not cured) with medication.

Maybe if depression had more obvious outward signs (like seizures) it would not be seen as a weakness.

Anyway, if you would be OK with taking medication if you had epilepsy, then maybe that thought will help you to feel better about taking it for depression etc.

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u/colonel_raleigh Aug 22 '16

I agree that the stigma is terrible. I've been taking antidepressants for about 20 years now -- my depression is chronic & probably lifelong -- and I still feel slightly ashamed about it.

I'm due for a brain MRI this week, as part of a study of treatment for depression, and I'm really hoping that it shows abnormality. Actually seeing a physical brain malfunction (like the link below) would go a long way toward feeling better about needing medication.

http://d1vn86fw4xmcz1.cloudfront.net/content/royptb/368/1615/20120004/F2.large.jpg

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u/colonel_raleigh Aug 22 '16

FYI, the image above is from the following 2013 study: http://rstb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/368/1615/20120004

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u/sergeant_vimes Aug 21 '16

While I agree with you in that there are situations that need anti-depressants, I do feel like they're over-prescribed. And I'm saying this as someone who to this day suffers from depression and at one point even had suicidal thoughts myself. Don't get me wrong, they help, I don't deny that. But I feel like there are a lot of depressions that have far simpler solutions (that involve attitude changes, social changes, etc). And yes, while simpler, those solutions will be more difficult, but in the long run are healthier.

The major issue with those types of solutions is that most of them need some sort of support system in case things get too rough, and a lot of people suffering from depression either don't have that support, or don't feel that they do. And that's where I weep for modern society. We lack the kind of emotional and mental support that used to exist.

But the flip side is I'm not encouraging "safe places" or crap like that. There has to be a blend between support and self-reliance. And somewhere between being a child and becoming a teenager, a lot of people lose the lessons their parents tried to teach them (if they even did).

It isn't an easy road to walk, but we really do need to walk it.