I think I nailed it!

“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

After that, he went downhill fast.

Dr dre

Because he drank it before it was cool.

I should've left him in the garden where I found him.

I told them I’d be hosting a satyr.

He just couldn't cut it anymore.

I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes.

I turned to a local tribesman and said, "That lizards really funny!"

The tribesman replied, "That's not a lizard..."

"He's a stand up chameleon."

I’m a dad. I tell dad jokes. The defining feature of a dad joke is that it’s a groan-inducing pun. Not all dad jokes are for 8 year old kids. My youngest is in their 30s and I tell them dad jokes. A dad joke can be a little on the edge, as the pun is the defining feature, not the edginess. To all the people trying to gatekeep r/dadjokes for not meeting your definition, how many of you actually have kids? Just wondering: I think it’s apparent that many of you don’t because of this nanny behaviour.

Edit: Further to this, and as I stated in the comments, it’s also possible to tell a joke that a kid can take on one level and an adult on another. Look at Saturday cartoons from an adult perspective and some of them become downright filthy! But the spicy bits fly right over their kids’ heads. This provides humour to the adults, and keeps them engaged and watching with the kids. They can be dad jokes and aimed at adults, or at least kids who are older, some of whom have kids themselves.

Look at the jokes that you actually told as kids! Some of which you didn’t fully understand at the time but realized much later that they were dirtier than you realized. Yes, this isn’t the place for jokes that are just bad; but it is a place for jokes that are just… dad

Kid “I saw a dog on the side of the road yesterday. She was giving birth right there in the grass.”

Me “Wow! That’s crazy!l

Kid “Yeah, she was littering everywhere.”

Seventh grader.

100!

But I’m afraid it’s too basic and will fall a little flat. Then I’d be in treble

Water foul

For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting

Now she’s my current wife.

Because the cow has the udder.

Because they don't have the guts!

Last year on the day after Halloween a trick or treater knocked on the door. He was dressed in red tights, a red spandex shirt, red sneakers, and a red hat.

i said, “Sorry, little guy, i don't have anything left today...what are you supposed to be, anyway?”

He replied. “I’m a period. Sorry I’m late. Scared ya, didn’t I!”

I burst out laughing, asked him to wait a minute, went to the cabinet where I keep my cookies and gave him a whole package of Pepperidge Farm Apricot Rasperry Veronas. He deserved it.

Cheetah.

Just give it musical instruments!

Crossfit.

That annoyed me, so I told her that she's no longer welcome in my tree house.