Another one who's not the one. Another failed attempt at love. Are my expectations too high, should I give up my attempts at meeting someone?

I'm 35, and a single mom to an only child. I raise her alone, which is really rewarding and satisfying in many ways as I'm a successful working mom with a job I love and a beautiful home for her. She's the most brilliant and adorable kid ever and I try to give her everything. She's the reason I've been single so long, and I won't involve her in my dating life until I'm pretty certain about a person (this hasn't actually happened yet and she's 5). I know a lot of people won't go near dating me because of her. And even have had people tell me it's a "red flag" that I keep her from them, as it reeks of the trust issues I have involving my child.

I have decent babysitting options, and I use them for going on dates. This means my average date starts at $60 before I've even left my home- And makes no- shows and cancelations even harder for me to put up with. It also makes dating someone more than once or twice a week impossible. This is often held against me quickly into potential relationships and has stopped them before they've really started due to me just not having the time most people want to have with a partner.

I've ended up being "good enough to hook up with" for way too many men who probably didn't ever see me as relationship potential because of her, and while I'm pretty decent at spotting this right away and avoiding such men, sometimes I fall for the wrong ones anyway. Once they've convinced me to give them what they want, they're gone (until the next time they want it, anyway). I understand why the newer generation is so block happy, I also do not want to hear from these guys in a month when they're horny again, and have taken to blocking them so this does not happen.

Do guys who would ACTUALLY date a single mom even exist? Should I give up trying? Because at this point... I'm just feeling like I'm going to be alone forever, or until she's grown, at which point I'll probably be menopausal and not want sex as much anyway. Feels like I'm wasting my 30's... But I also don't wanna keep wasting it on dating the wrong guys.

Tl;dr Single mom wishes men were more into single moms. For relationships instead of just sex.

And why is that? Or why not?

My best friend and I were having a discussion about dating. We came to the conclusion that it's important to have both types of connections, but it doesn't matter which one is greater than the other. But we also wondered that if we could only choose one connection, which one would we prioritize. I said I’d choose great compatibility because it brings depth and substance to the relationship. That, in my opinion, goes further than physical chemistry, since as we age, our bodies change and the physical drive eventually fades. She countered by arguing that physical chemistry is the most important connection, and that with great physical chemistry, everything else could fall into place

What are your thoughts, opinions, or perspective on this?

A lot of people are ready to die on the hill of thinking a date "owes you the courtesy" of letting you know if they aren't interested after a meetup or two.

Sure, some people will say, "NP, good luck out there," and move on with life. High praise to them, but most people don't do this in practice.

Make no mistake: It isn't courtesy the insisters are interested in. It's the warpath. What do I mean? Well, let's imagine you are "courteous," in their words, and go ahead and report that you aren't interested, but best wishes (or some other softening phrase).

First, they might sourly report something like, "Well, I wasn't that interested in you either, you're an (insert insult) anyway." Makes you wonder why you bothered.

Second, they might be foolish enough to ask for some sort of explanation, framing it as an innocent little "so I can do better next time" style inquiry. If you are foolish enough to answer honestly, this would invariably result in them angrily accusing you of being shallow or crazy. It doesn't matter what your reason is, your boundaries, or their flaws, no matter how egregious or obvious. Please rest assured, a wounded date thinks their behavior is normal, that you're the problem, and that if you can't accept them as they are, the reason must be your shallowness or mental pathology.

Third, and I want to emphasize that this is unlikely, but the date could be some sort of dangerous lunatic. I've had dates continue texting, despite complete radio silence on my part, for YEARS. They get new numbers after I block them and keep trying. It's ridiculous, plus you never know what someone like that is going to be capable of in addition to bothering someone who is obviously not interested.

This is why you aren't told about being cut off. Not texting back after a week or so is a perfectly understandable "no" that protects the person from any of these silly little vengeances. Nobody owes you that in the name of "politeness."

I’m 27 years old and have never dated or been in a relationship. It’s not because I never wanted to — I’ve just spent most of my life focused on studies and building my career, and relationships took a backseat.

Now that I’m more settled, my parents are encouraging me to consider an arranged marriage. I’ve spoken to quite a few people through that route, but nothing has worked out so far.

I’ve never tried dating apps before — partly because I wasn’t sure how I felt about them morally, or maybe they just never seemed like the right fit. But now I’m wondering if it’s time to give them a try.

Would love to hear your thoughts or experiences — especially if you’ve been in a similar situation.

Sooo this guy who I was talking to on FB Dating came over last night& before he came I told him that wasn’t interested in hooking up.

This was the first time we but long story short- nothing happened but he definitely tried. He was really attractive and there was nothing wrong but I just wasn’t interested in that. Well he later left after the movie finished.

This morning he blocked me, deleted me off the the app. Do guys really get that butt hurt if you shoot them down for not wanting to hook up?

I went on a date with a guy yest but saw him with someone else today at an activity I thought I might ask to do with him but I just went with my friends. Tbh I felt weird in the moment and had to avoid him in the common areas of the place. He wanted to see me again. He obv saw me today and didnt react and texted me later he had a nice time yest. I didn’t care to respond. Obviously i am not offended but felt bad :( I am pretty sure its human but I hate how sometimes the logical side of me defies me and I over feel things that dont make sense. I was excited about him and now I dont care. Dating really sucks :(

I’m 26 (F), and lately, chatting with guys on dating apps has been really draining. I know not all guys are like this, but it’s been my experience, and it’s frustrating. I feel like some people don’t consider a woman’s perspective when it comes to personal safety. I’m very cautious when meeting new people, especially from apps, because my safety is a huge priority. I just can’t risk being in a private space with someone I barely know. I’ve made it clear that I don’t want them picking me up, coming over, or having me go to their place, but it feels like some guys just don’t respect that. Is it really so much to ask to meet in a public, neutral space and take things slow? I feel like my safety should be a basic priority, not something that’s questioned.

Every time I get into a relationship, I just want to leave. As far as I know,I'm not afraid of commitment. I don't have the worst taste in men either but it could be argued that they are not always on the same emotional maturity level. I tend to find myself suffering in most relationships. Being in survival mode and bearing the emotional burden of carrying the relationship. The relationships never last longer than an year. I'm quick to leave,pack my bags and move on. Everyone says you know when you meet the right person or not to "look" for them,that's how you'll find them. I'm not necessarily afraid of being alone. When you're not looking for someone and they show up in your life, how can you change your mind from not wanting a partner? Wouldn't it be wrong timing if someone came into your life when you're not in the same place as them? Being in my shoes,I wonder if it'll ever stop. If I'll ever be in a relationship and not be completely devastated. There is always something wrong. Asking the right things from the wrong people? What if it never stops? I know people mature at different ages, you could be a 43y/o wife and suddenly notice that your 45y/o husband, finally gained the emotional maturity of communicating properly with you,for example. Or be 22 with your 23y/o partner that makes you feel understood for the first time in your 3 year long relationship.

I've decided to stop dating after some time after bad dates and experiences, got ghosted with the last date. Now just trying to focus on myself for sometime - still trying to be open to friendly people at work and during my free time.

I still feel that I sometimes take a step back when people are coming too close or act too friendly. It usually ends up with the other person ignoring me after being really talkative earlier on or them taking steps back as well.

It seems my fault and I'm start blaming myself and get frustrated which I shouldn't, because I can't control what others do and shouldn't want to either.

I feel that a lot of people I have met are inconsistent with how they act and that confuses me and then I take some steps back.

Any advice?

As problamatic as the title says. Met someone at a bar and I was drunk and remember thinking I'm in love right when I saw him. Took him home and had incredible sex. Good conversations as well. I know I'm not really in love yet, but if we meet next times I know for sure it won't take long. Last guy I fell for only took me 2 dates to be completely in love. And it ruins me because I can't stop thinking about them. I'm already having a hard time just to stop thinking about this guy. I don't even know him yet.

So I know I have to change my perspective: I have to get to know him truly and see if he actually deserves my attention.

But still, even though I logically know this, and I know he might not be the one or whatever. I still can't stop thinking about him and be anxious/nervous/insecure about the situation as well. I'm insecure that he won't end up liking me back.

So how do I actually stop thinking about this situation? I am supposed to focus on studying... but its hard...

Yes I know I have problems and this isn't healthy. It happens every time I meet someone. Last relationship I completely lost myself by focussing only on my partner instead of my own life.

I met a girl at a restaurant my best friend works at a few weeks ago. My friend thinks she's perfect for me, and in the past week we met three times. First I met her at the restaurant she works at after she was done with her shift an we hung out with her and her colleagues, one time we went climbing together, and on Friday I took her for a little ride on my motorcycle and got some ice cream. We talked, and we have SO much in common, from like vacations, to views on kids, movies, games, you name it. Like idk. I never met anyone who is so much like me, I never thought it was possible.

Now I just don't know if she finds me attractive as well, or if she feels the same vibe I do. Personality wise I think we're really similar. I want to ask her out on like a date? But I've never done that before, I don#t know how to, where to, what to say. Maybe someone has some advice for me?

I met up with a person I met online and I didn’t feel a spark between us. I definitely did not feel it through text. She looks just like her pics so there was no deception there. I’m glad we met up as soon as we did. Sometimes I know for a fact there is no possibility that any feelings will grow (with people I already know). For this one, I’m unsure. I think there is a potential and we have only gone on one date. I have way more dating experience than her so I don’t know if it’s the lack of dating experience that is turning me off. I wouldn’t be sad if we never saw each other again. Would it be worth it to give it another date?

Boyfriend (28) and I (30) are planning to move in soon, it will be a year by the time we move in together. He’s expressed some anxiety around it, like having disagreements about little things but he also is scared if we have a potential breakup while on a lease together. Neither of us have ever lived with a partner and this is both of our first very serious relationship. He tells me all the time how much he loves me and so this anxiety of his caught me surprise, now I’m in my head thinking maybe he doesn’t find me to be the one deep down?

I have been on them for 3 months and haven't gotten a successful match. Just, bots and girls want my WhatsApp 😒😒😒

Also, I'm on boo, hinge, and bumble

I change my responses, bio, and pics every month and still nothing. At this point I don't even use them and they just sit on my phone doing nothing. No, I will not pay for the premium subscription because that's how you get matches or some bs. I will not pay because it has not gotten me any results.

So, are dating apps a sinking ship or trap? I have also been trying things in real life too and that hasn't been working out either 🫠🫠🫠

I'm extremely curious about people who date their partners without the intent on staying together for the foreseeable future. Why do you go dating or staying with a partner knowing that you guys WILL break up eventually? Like couples who date knowing that they will be in seperate cities/states/countries eventually, or wanting different things out of life like having a heavy desire for kids vs really not wanting any.

I have a friend who is a student from India who is dating another overseas student from a Thailand and by the start of next year they will be returning to their home countries where it will be very unlikely that they will continue the relationship as they aren't financially wealthy and able to fly to see each other more than say once a year. They both KNOW that they will break up as long distance is for neither of them, yet they still are together and have been for 3 years. Yes they are very happy right now together, but wouldn't waiting to break up make the break up experience for them worse the longer that they wait it out?

I'm sort of in a dilemma right now, where I'd really love to work on my romance life, however the biggest issue I've found is I live at home with my parents, in a tiny small apartment in NYC, where there is barely any privacy, other than for myself.

I sleep on a cramped twin size mattress, so there isn't even room in my bedroom to host anyone, and certainly to hook up or anything. People I know with reasonable dating life in my city, while still living at home, seem to all live in the outer boroughs, where they have a house, with at least a lot of room, even if they're still living with parents. Other issue is I recently lost a lot of hours at my job, so I'm only working part-time, so for financial reasons, I'm stuck at home in the meantime. I also don't even have a car, like many New Yorkers, so that's not even an option as well.

Should I simply give up on dating for now or is there a way to work around this? My only other option is to make more money to afford moving out, but then question becomes how to do so and if it's worth it to move out just to improve my dating life?

After almost two decades of abuse and neglect, I left my family to become fully independent so they have no leverage over me and can't blackmail me with anything. For some years after that I tried to see if I could fix the relationship but I just can't trust them, they won't fully acknowledge what they've done, and they're continuing to be toxic towards me. My choice was to go off on my own. I may check in with them now and then but only on my own terms.

Will I be rejected for not being close to my parents?

I'm 25 and have never had a girlfriend. I had a crush in high school, but it wasn't a relationship, and she left without closure—she just disappeared. Afterward, I focused on my studies, went into engineering, and after graduating, moved abroad for a job.

I go to the gym, run, play tennis, love reading, and enjoy life in general.

I don't know what I'm missing. I live alone in a new country and am at peace with my solitude.

I am doing therapy on and off.

But there are moments that feel terrible because I haven't found love yet. I don't know how to deal with it, and I'm vulnerable enough to say that sometimes I cry because of it.

I'm introverted, but I've challenged myself to go out to events, but mostly they are men and much older women. It's the country I live in; it has a crazy male/female ratio.

Even at the gym or when I play tennis, it's always 90 men and 10 women.

I've tried dating apps on and off and had terrible experiences.

People usually enjoy talking with me and find me funny and nice.

I met a couple during the last social event and the girlfriend asked me why I'm still single as she finds me a good person. And i get that so many times people say why you don't have someone and they start speak good about me which hurts because I don't what is wrong with me.

I'm not a model but i like how i look. But when you only have 0 to negative experiences sometimes i doubt myself maybe I'm not good looking enough maybe i am short. I don't know.

I'm not that desperate all the time but when it feels lonely and when i think that i am 25 and i have never experienced love or a relationships it really hurts i hope someone out there can feel it.

Again i know that nothing would change if i don't change and take actions but I'm pretty sure that i am doing what i can.

I go to the gym , i try to go for meet up events as much i can.

I try dating apps and apps to find friends.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I know you ladies receive tons of likes and matches, but what percentage of those matches do you see as potential partners? Is it easy to weed out all the good guys from the bad? Is it exhausting having to get to know someone, and go on multiple dates with different guys? Especially when you know they aren’t the one? How many gentlemen do you ladies usually “talk” to at one time?

The gist: Single my whole life, want a relationship or at least to date and flirt, know I have to start dating because IRL isn't working.

I've been talking to this one guy on a dating app for a couple of weeks (with a week of no talking because I was busy on a trip). He seems like a nice guy with likable qualities. His photos aren't good because he's half-hidden in most of them with the exception of one sort blurry-ish photo.

We're talking about going on a date but I'm already not feeling it. For one, I feel like he might be a bit more into me than I am into him. He's already said he enjoys talking to me, and he feels quite available (which isn't a bad thing at all!), as in he's being generous in the conversation and just *feels* emotionally available (certainly no hookup vibes), but I don't know if I'm ready to say I've enjoyed talking to him because while the convo has been nice (friendly, paragraph-y back-and-forth, etc), I do NOT know if I'd be attracted to him. There's some potential for that? From his photos he looks like he's average looking (and clearly he's somewhat insecure because again, hidden in most of his photos), but I'm not one to completely rule out a guy based on okay looks -- I know voice, presence, charisma, humor etc. can do a lot of leg work. I've had crushes on a spectrum of different guys.

So -- I've been telling myself: you could be attracted to him. Give it a go! But I'm kind of dreading going on the date a little. I feel like I've rarely felt excited to go on dates the way other people do. I'd probably be excited if I found them attractive ahead of time...but sometimes I don't, like in this case, because it’s hard to tell. Every date I've been on, with the exception of 2 dates with the same guy who I was into, has turned into a case of the guy wanting to see me again but me not feeling the same. I am usually the one to turn them down. And I fear it *might* be the case here, but I don't know.

I'm torn between: pick guys who you find attractive at least a little to go on a date with or giving a variety of guys a chance between I'll never know. But tbh I'm not getting dates with the guys who I find hot (even if we do match and message a bit) -- I'm wondering if I'm self-sabotaging with them a little bit because I probably interact with them from a place of feeling like they're too attractive for me, lol, even though they matched with me and chatted with me and I'm a conventionally attractive woman...I'm slowly recovering from a low self esteem, but also I think it's the nature of dating apps to have people ghost.

Anyway idk what to do here! Is there any way to minimize the feeling of pressure...? I'm kind of stuck between really wanting a "casual" feeling in the sense that I want to have a low-pressure way of figuring out if there's attraction, but when someone seems to "like" me already I'm like....nooope, ahhh. And I'm picturing showing up to the bar we've discussed to go on this date and I'm like nooooo. He's gonna like me more and I don't like that feeling.

Basically I wanna go on dates with guys I'm already a little hot for beforehand but I don't know if that's an unreasonable ask or if it even matters because it doesn't mean we're compatible and ahhh idk man. Help.

Do I just rip the bandaid and go? Do I suggest a video chat instead?

Hey everyone, so this girl (27F) that I (27M) have been friends with for many many years (Since like Sophomore year of HS, so like, 12-13 years) and I have been in a bit of a weird spot.

About 2 weeks ago, I confessed to her that I've been attracted to her for a long time, and I wanted to let her know and just be honest with her, not hide how I felt. I tried to be as direct but non-pressuring as possible, and she seemed to take it well, but she didn't directly confess anything in return, nor did she outright reject it, or say she just wanted to be friends... nothing like that. Now, we've been friends for well over a decade at this point, so we're definitely close, but not so close that we would be talking everyday or opening up beyond like the occasional "I had a bad day" or "major event in my life happened" before this confession.

Since that confession though? We talk EVERY day, sometimes it's just sending each other reels throughout the day (It's like probably 10-20 of these a day), and I've noticed a shift in how we talk to each other. Especially over this weekend, she's started sending me (unprompted) a lot of more flirty texts, from a picture that read "I'm open" with like a lady sitting in a very suggestive pose, which I took the bait on saying "You have my attention lmao", and she backpeddled a bit saying "I'm open to a lot of things... thoughts, experiences, food, lmao, get your mind outta the gutter haha!", so I took that as her being playful, maybe testing the waters a tad, but I didn't try to escalate because I wasn't sure the direction, I just played it off like "Who me? Mind in the gutter? Why I never!" which she seemed to find funny. The very next day, we start talking about a very hard grief that's been on her mind, as a mutual friend from High School unfortunately did take their own life back then, and we reminisced on that person and really spilled our hearts out over remembering this person, me comforting her because she still carries a bit of guilt from it. That same day, me and her were doing our usual sharing 10 billion reels with each other when I sent a cat video that she said she "Needed to find this one video of her cat" to send to me, when she did start sending that video, she also sent a BUNCH of other stuff, including this (Frankly kinda hot) picture of her in a Yugioh shirt and really really short shorts on (She knows I'm a big fan of Yugioh). she sent that with a "Found the video, but I sent you a bunch of other stuff I thought you might like too haha", and I definitely took this as a light flirt, a catered drop of stuff just for me type of thing. That same day she's also sending me memes of like "I'm not like other girls, I'm worse" and things like that, and I've tried to match her energy at least. I'm thinking "okay so she's definitely flirting with me, why else would she send stuff like this less than two weeks after I confess my attraction to her?" and "Why is this connection building up after that confession if she wouldn't or doesn't at least kinda feel the same way?"

We've been talking non-stop, even until like 4-5 in the morning some nights, and I can't help but notice this shift in what she sends to me, how she's been talking to me...etc. But, whenever I flirt back, saying she looks cute in the yugioh shirt, or telling her that these late-night reel drops and deep conversations have quickly become my favorite part of the day, no response back directly, but the reel drops keep happening, or we continue a different conversation later on in the day.

But the confusing part to me is, there's no outright rejection, nor is there any distancing or redirection, or anything that would suggest a "let's just be friends" or "I'm not interested", if anything, it feels like she continues down that path of lightly flirting, getting deep in conversation, and just not taking the next step to reciprocation or defining what this dynamic is. But this feeling I get that she's ignoring some of those more flirty texts kinda lingers.

I've blamed some of this second-guessing on the fact that I'm someone who's had to deal with unrequited feelings quite a bit in my past, or dating people that are ambiguous or have hidden agendas in how they show that affection (I've been used in the past for emotional support, sex...etc). So knowing that, I try to calm these down and look at what she HAS shown me thus far, but that obviously doesn't really calm my brain down, only creates more confusion and more questions.

I've been thinking I need to bring this up directly to her in a sort of "Hey, I’ve been thinking about how much I’ve really loved the connection we’ve been building. It’s become something really meaningful for me, but I want to know where YOU stand on it", but I also don't want to potentially rush her process or make her feel like it's some sort of ultimatum that she needs to decide on RIGHT NOW or anything like that.

But I'd like to get y'alls takes on this as well, it racks through my mind a lot, especially when our conversations are going well into the night, almost every night, or touching on things that to me, seem a bit more intimate than a purely platonic dynamic.

Thanks in advance

I’ve kind of been dealing with this for awhile and wanted perspective of others on what I’m experiencing here because I cannot seem to really put it all together.

For the most part, I’m a quiet maybe aloof guy that isn’t really the one to kick off the conversation. I’ve been told I’m good looking and that I’m a catch and people are surprised I’ve been single basically my whole life. Overall, I’m fit, I have a good job, own my own place, really don’t have any problems besides in general understanding other people.

Women in general it’s weird. For many of them, it’s like they sour on me after time. I’m not sure exactly where I’m going wrong. Is it because I’m simply not going out or my way to talk to them, or giving them attention? I’m talking like things like ignoring me in conversations, giving me weird looks, etc.

Certain women I have no issue with and we get along pretty easily. These usually tend to be the outgoing, or assertive types and they almost seem to enjoy just shooting the breeze or just asking for life advice.

I’m sure I haven’t given enough details to get the best answer possible but wanted to throw this out there to get any insights

Genuinely where are the decent single people? I just finished a second date with a guy and it was just not good. I keep having such high hopes and nothing works out. I guess I’m young but things are looking grim. I feel like the options left are just not good.

My standards aren’t high nor do I have some crazy Adonis I’m looking for. I just want a nice man with a decent job and good hygiene. Seemingly too much I guess.

I am fairly inexperienced so this thought bothers me a lot.

I’m like 90 lb (40kg) and the men that I end up with tend to be 170-200 lb (80-90 lg) They are also really tall compared to me.

I am scared that their weight will hurt me if they get on top of me. I’ve been on top and that feels ok.

If a man gets on top of me, is he supposed to support all his weight?