my girlfriend crashed my car while she was driving it (we were both in the car) and it was deemed as contributory negligence by insurance for both us and the other driver (they kept brake checking us) so me and the other driver are each paying for our own cars. my car only has left side damage (a dent, some scratches, headlight panel came off). insurance isn’t paying for my repair and offered me 10k in exchange for totaling it. the autobody shop i took it to said it’d be 6k to fix it out of pocket. idk what to do, 10k might be the most i’ll ever get offered for this car (i was planning on selling it in 2-3 years) but i haven’t even had it for 2 years yet, i’m still emotionally attached to it and i genuinely love this car so much cus i worked my ass off to buy it with no help from my parents (the car is under their name but i’m the one who made the money for it). i don’t know if there’s any mechanical damage yet, but it is driving normal as of right now. people of reddit, what should i do? should i total it and take the 10k and buy a used car that’s more reliable or should i not give up on it and take the risk, work my ass off to get 6k and figure out if there’s any mechanical damage?

i also feel bad cus i know my girlfriend is sorry and didn’t mean to do this to me but my life has genuinely been so much harder, i’m almost done w this semester of college and will be returning home soon and the thought of having no car during any moment in the summer is driving me insane. my parents are assholes and my car was the only way to escape from them. my dad also does not know about this crash and he is coming home from a business trip in 5 days and i’m nervous about his reaction, even though my mom’s probably gonna be the one weighing in on the decision and she doesn’t wanna leave me without a car at the end of the day. but my dad always told me that if anything ever happened to this car i’m not getting another one. i’m just so stressed i can’t even focus on schoolwork, the only thing on my mind is this situation. i love my gf to death but the fact she crashed my most beloved possession makes me really sad. her parents don’t know and if they did they’d probably sell her car and i don’t wanna fuck up her life but i find it unfair that i might be carless part of the summer while she gets to see her friends with her car whenever she wants. idk i’m just genuinely so mentally low right now.

So my inner thighs are burning and the base of my penis has a bit of redness. The girl said she hasn't had sex in years but that she has been tested since and is fine but I don't know I'm scared.

So I just took edibles for the 3rd time, but the first 2 times didn't work. Assumed they were a dud bunch, today decided to take the last 2 gummies. Fast forward 1hr and my heart rate is at 155 out of nowhere and my brain is feeling cold and headache-y. My body keeps doing minor twitches and my body feels cold, and my tongue feels heavy and cold and dry. I'm scared of if this is normal for a THC high and when should I start to worry.

This is for a friend.

My friend came to me today worried about if she might be pregnant.

She said she shouldn’t be worried as only the tip went in and nothing was on it, he didn’t even finish as they were just fooling around. But she’s still scared.

She took the morning after pill.. but it dissolved in her soda filled shot glass and she took it, she can’t afford another pill.. what should she do? Is she pregnant free?

Hello, I'm am 32 male. And like the title says, I don't know where to begin helping myself.

Some details about myself. I am overweight. I have bad oral health, lost most of my bottom front teeth. I have one left and with it loose, I expect it to just pop out like the one today which inspired me to sorta... Make this post.

I just... Have no love or motivation to take care of myself. Right now I bathe like twice week and don't brush my teeth cuz I feel like it's too late to start taking care of myself. And to be honest, I thought I would have taken my own life years ago.

I grew up very isolated between towns. No friends to speak of until high school. My parents, particularly my father, didn't believe in friends. So I had nobody but family until at least 14. Couldn't properly make friends since I could never hang out with anyone after school. Parents were either distrustful of other parents, forced me to be a defacto sitter, or some other combination of things along those lines.(This is also part of the reason for my weight since I rarely got to leave the house without my parents freaking out if I went a lil too far) And to top it off, my father was both mentally and physically abusive. Often giving me tasks and discipling me with a hand or belt while calling me "good for nothing" or "stupid" for not being able to do them right or to some standard he had. Often it was tasks I have never done before nor been shown how to do but I was expected to do it perfectly... Note, I did try to get cps involved but it was my word against my parents...

It wasn't until high school when I started acting out that the leash was let go a bit more. I could actually make some friends. Hang out with friends after school or during summer break. Take the bus to hang out in town. Get my first gf.

Then said first gf died in an accident involving a drunk driver and depression has loomed over me like a shadow since. I started therapy with the school psychologist since it was then I started thinking of taking my own life. I unloaded on her about the death of my gf. My childhood experience. And it certainly helped. Feeling like I was finally being seen and heard. I would occasionally go for the rest of my high school life. My depression never really went away but I managed it for a few years after high school.

It got really bad a few years after moving out. I made the intiative to. Without much help from my parents who for some reason, insisted I stay home still. I moved into a nice small apartment with a friend that probably shouldn't have. A friend with way too much social anxiety that ended up with me taking care of all household chores and cleaning up after them too. It was then I kinda gave up doing anything to take care of myself. Going from showering and brushing my teeth multiple times a week to what I do now.

And right now, I'm basically a shut in with only online activities to keep me content between my work shifts. Basically doing whatever gives me enough happiness to stave off being fully depressed.

I have very little energy. No self esteem. And am letting myself deteriorate more with each day... I... I don't know how to help myself. Is it even worth it at this point? Honestly, at the moment, I wish some of my previous attempts at self harm would have worked. I really do feel worthless as my dad used to call me all the time...

Was this cocsa?

I’m 17f and when I was 6/7 years old I was sa’d by a boy in my class. I haven’t fully remembered it yet because I’m scared to but I know it happened and how bad I felt at the time. It was a lot more than what I did to my brother, we hid under tables during lunch, making out multiple times, I think I agreed at first but it became much more. I remember feeling stuck/frozen at the time and I’m not sure how many times it happened, I know I never told anyone though.

When I was either 9 or 10, I was outside playing truth or dare with my brother who was 4 or 5. I dared him to let me kiss him and he said no. I proceeded to ask a few more times please (I don’t know how many times but he doesn’t think it was much and I didn’t beg him) and he kept saying no. I didn’t want him to do anything he didn’t want to and my goal wasn’t to make him say yes. I remember not wanting to do anything at all just that I felt like I had to, I didn’t think at all that it could hurt him, just that I was being annoying. I did care about his feelings and didn’t want to hurt him at all, I was confused and didn’t understand what I was doing, If I knew it was wrong at the time I wouldn’t have brought the idea up whatsoever. I soon realised I should stop asking and that I really didn’t have to do anything so I walked away to go back inside the house. He then said “fine” and that he’d changed his mind. I was hesitant and asked if he was sure (he said he was) but because I didn’t realise that he was most likely pressured and that’s why he agreed I didn’t think of it as a big deal so I quickly kissed him on the lips. I felt and still feel so disgusted thinking about it even though it didn’t happen again and didn’t go any further than a peck. I didn’t tell him not to tell anyone/threaten him and I don’t think I tried to make it feel like a secret. I believe this all happened because of what happened to me, I’m not saying this is an excuse at all just an explanation. Why else would I put myself in a situation that I didn’t want to be in?

Immediately afterwards he went and told our mum that I kissed him. She asked him if he was okay and he assured her he was, just that he was confused why I’d want a kiss because it was unusual for me to show affection to people. She came and asked me about it and I remember feeling very stressed like I was about to cry even though she told me everything was okay. I was confused what I’d done wrong even though that’s not what she was telling me, I assumed he must have been hurt because I couldn’t see any other reason why she would be talking to me about it. I was angry often because my mum would always take my brother’s side over mine because he’s the youngest so It felt like that for me. He’s 13 now and remembers what happened clearly and still says he’s fine with what happened and wasn’t hurt. I know he could still be hurt and realise this once he’s older, if so how could I help him? My mum has spoken about it with him a few times and she says she senses no discomfort or shame from him at all and he’s just confused why I’m worried about it. I don’t know what I’d do if he actually was hurt.

I’ve thought about it a lot and I think my ocd has made me imagine it worse than it actually was especially when I’m anxious. I’m not saying it was okay at all just that details of it became distorted. I’ve been so scared that I kept asking and asking my brother to kiss me and other terrible things but he doesn’t remember it that way. My thoughts don’t seem logical but I can’t stand the uncertainty. I know I cared about his feelings and I did accept him saying no, my behaviour was based on confusion rather than selfishness. Do I deserve to suffer because of this? Was this even cocsa? If I’ve said anything wrong please, please tell me.

So I’m in high school and I’m 15M and I’m slightly chubby but not overweight just a bit on the hefty side and the important part of this is that I’m tall ~195 cm but the issue here is that everyone at my school whether my teachers or other students or random sports coaches will walk up to me and ask if I’m playing sports and when I always say no they say I should play whatever sport they play or coach and I always say I will think about it but the constant reminder that I should be playing a sport always just makes me feel like I’m not good enough and I’m sorta a disappointment to people even though I go to the gym and stuff and I’m not saying this like I’m depressed and stuff for being a failure it’s just always a mood ruiner to be told that I should play whatever sport and that I’d be great at it.

I am a 31 year old male. I have a bad heart I'm not sure why but what I am sure is I don't have much longer. When I am gone I want there to be some kind of trace left to say don't let this be rewarded. I am healthy I work outside cutting grass. I don't understand why this happens but I will not waste the rest of my time wondering. I'm sorry I could not be here to be around people that love me and that I love. 💔

This world will fail you and leave you no route for success, you have to find the joy in the things around you day by day so your life has some joyful meanings.

When it comes down to it don't pay the insurance policy it was guided!

DF

I recently ended my first relationship, and I can’t stop feeling guilty, confused, and like I messed up in a way I can’t undo. We met online, and it was long distance. We have never met in real life. We only texted, sent photos, and exchanged voice messages. We never talked on the phone or had a single phone or video call through the entirety of the relationship. Not once. It was a 3 month online relationship. (They are not a scammer or a catfish. I had videos and photos of them and followed them on social media. We also had mutual friends and their irl friends I would talk with on the phone. They just were not comfortable calling when I asked as they lived with their parents.)

Looking back, I’m not sure if this was even considered a real relationship. I was never attracted to them, not romantically nor sexually. The thing i really enjoyed out of this relationship was flirting and sexting. We would share explicit photos and messages, and I realized that I was just looking for my own pleasure, not a romantic emotional connection. I think I loved the idea of being loved, but I didn’t actually love them, at least not in that way.

What hurts the most is that I know they genuinely loved me. They showed me and told me this in so many ways, so many times. They cared about me deeply, but I couldn’t return those feelings. When they first asked me to be their partner, I was excited at the idea of having a same sex partner, as i was very confused about my sexuality at the time, but not because I was excited about them as a person. I was more interested in being in a relationship with someone of the same sex for the first time. That’s it. It was more about the concept than the actual person.

Maybe I was experimenting? Maybe it was curiosity? Maybe I wanted to be sure? Maybe It stemmed purely from loneliness and sex? I wasn’t sure about my sexuality, and I’d never been in a relationship before, same sex or otherwise. I tried to force myself to feel a connection, but I genuinely couldn’t. I didn’t like them as a person in the way I should have for a relationship. I just enjoyed the attention and the thrill of our online interactions. I told them everything they wanted to hear.

When I realized how messed up and unfair this was, I ended things. But by then, it was already really late and too deep in the relationship. We were moving really fast and they talked about the possibility of marriage. I (or at least attempted to) broke up with them about a month ago now and I didn’t tell them the full truth about why I ended things. I said it was because I needed to focus on my mental health, which i guess was partially true, but I didn’t explain that I was just not feeling it in the way they were. I wasn’t being truthful. They were understanding but hurt, and they expressed how painful it was for them to lose me. They told me I fit perfectly into their life, and that just made me feel even worse.

Now I feel extremely guilty. I regret ever being in this relationship. I knew from the start it wouldn’t work, yet I ignored that because I was lonely and miserable, looking for affection and sex. I should have shut it down when things started to get serious, but I didn’t. Instead, I went along with it, even though I knew it wasn’t fair to them.

I guess I wasn’t like a neglectful “partner”, though? We texted every day, shared intimate details, played games together, and flirted a lot. I told them I cared about them, and they said “I love you” first. Honestly, part of me felt a little pressure, but I also felt excitement, so I went along with it. But deep down, I didn’t love them in that way. I didn’t have a real romantic or sexual attraction to them. I loved the attention and the flirting, but when I think about them in real life, I don’t think I would ever be interested in being in a relationship with them. They are actually a really good person and they are so kind and sweet. They don’t deserve what i did to them.

I’ve been confused about my feelings. The whole thing was so unconventional and complicated, especially because it was all online. Sometimes I miss the affection and validation, but other times, I miss them as a person, without any expectations in return. I feel numb, like I want to cry but the tears won’t come. I feel like a bad person, like I hurt someone who genuinely cared for me. I don’t know how to ever forgive myself for this.

I’ve been thinking about what I did every single day and I know I messed up. I wasn’t honest from the start. I just wanted the attention and the affection, and I played along. I shouldn’t have said yes to this relationship in the first place. I feel so ashamed for playing with their emotions and using them to fill a void in my life. We haven’t talked in a while because I asked for space and they respected that. But a few days ago they texted me saying I left things open ended and was not being clear. Which is true. They were right. I honestly didn’t communicate properly as i was trying to tread carefully as to not hurt them so much. I never really explicitly said “we need to break up”. They said they didn’t get full closure and were confused about what we were. Which is reasonable. I apologized about it and I clarified i’d rather us be friends and asked if that was ok and even then it felt like a way to keep their affection without having to face the full reality of how I felt. They said they needed to think about it and that they feel like they were being played with. When I apologized again, they had already unfollowed me. I cried when they said that, because they aren’t really wrong, and I still feel so fucking terrible.

Now I feel I am sure of my sexuality but I know I was selfish, and I recognize that I hurt someone deeply. I don’t know how to move forward with my life or how to make peace with what I did. I regret this relationship so much, and I feel like the biggest fucking asshole. I really wish I had been honest with them earlier, but I was too scared and too selfish. I don’t know how to stop feeling this guilt. I just want to forget it ever happened, but I can’t. I don’t know how to live with myself now. I contemplate commiting suicide every day because of this. I feel like scum of the earth. I hurt a person. I hurt a real person with feelings and emotions because i was a dumbass confused horny, lonely, miserable piece of shit. Who the fuck does that? I played with someones feelings and that’s a fucked up and shitty thing to do. I just want to kill myself. I am a horrible person.

I’m so so sorry.

I(M19) went through a lot of trauma during my childhood and am not really close to my parents. I'm in university right now and a lot of girls have showed interest in me but I don't feel anything. The biggest issue here is I have developed odeius complex and I sexualize my mom. I haven't acted on them and I want to be normal and be attracted towards girls my age instead of my mother. I hate my father, so a lot of my feelings are also fuelled by this. Note: I don't really love my mother romantically, but I do experience lust. I am scared to talk to anyone about this issue. I really don't know what to do.

I think the hardest thing to go through is realizing you’re just ugly, or you don’t meet the criteria to be considered conventionally attractive. It’s actually one of the worst things out there to feel, and i wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. I’ve finally realized i’m just ugly. I’ve always thought there are just things i should do differently to look better- such as; loose weight, use different skin care, or just start taking care of myself. After doing these things, I’ve finally realized I’m actually just an ugly person. It really sucks because there’s actually just nothing you can do about it. I think another really hurtful part of it is, my parents are both attractive- and I know i’d be embarrassed if i had a kid as ugly as I am. I don’t even want to have kids and curse them with my terrible genes, I’d feel like such a monster. I’ve also always wanted to marry a handsome man, but now that won’t happen. I doubt anyone would want to marry someone that looks like me. I’m not doing this for sympathy or anything or the sort. I’m just venting, and I guess just want to tell people about how I feel, because if i this to anyone I care about they’ll just tell me i’m not ugly, which I already know isn’t true.

Before anything, sorry for any grammar mistakes. English is my 3rd language.

I just lost the only person that I cared deeply about by being too scared to show my true feelings towards them. Ever since I met this person, nobody I've ever met has had me like this. I was mesmerized; nobody else mattered to me. When I met them, I thought to myself, "This is it. I never have to look for love, I have it right in front of me." This person was all I ever wanted and so much more, and now it's all gone because I loved them too much to ever act on it. I was just scared to ruin this amazing bond we had if they didn't share those feelings back. For them, it probably feels like a huge burden lifted off their shoulders, but for me, it is the biggest loss I have ever faced, losing out on someone that I loved this much. These days have been absolutely terrible, I can't be around the places we shared memories that I'll keep in my heart forever. Looking back at old texts, I get really emotional seeing how everything was so effortless.

I'll end my incomprehensible rant right here.

okay so basically i ended up getting a small pile of ants under my bed (nothing major). i cleaned out and sprayed all of the ants but i cant tell where they are coming from, and keep getting a few ants on my mattress every 5-10 minutes (currently stripped of everything). i dont know how to fix it or what subreddit to go to i just need help. HELP ME PLSS

So, I am a first year in college studying arts and education. So basically, I do not have any source of income. And the thing is, my financial condition of my family is not good at all and I need to earn somehow. Now the thing is, I do some tuitions by teaching students. I get some money, but it's not satisfactory. I need a source to make some money.

Now the thing is, I have no idea how to do it, but I have saw things on freelancing, so I decided to do freelancing. But the thing is, I have jotted down some particular niches, which are basically copywriting, video editing, content writing, web design, and web development. I plan to learn these skills one by one, but I am learning copywriting and I am getting no job. I don't know what to do. I really need a way of income, and I can't do any kind of shady things. But the thing is, I just really want to earn something to support myself and my family, but I have no idea what to do, either in freelancing or what.

Can someone guide me or give me some suggestions? I am doing a copywriting course from YouTube right now, but the results are not very good.

alright reddit so basically i've tried to take my own life like 5 times in the past 2 months buy jumping off the roof of my crappy flat building and each time im saved by some stupid coincidence. mum calls it divine intervention and sis says i should buy a lotto ticket... in case anyones curious the last time i jumped i fell into the bed of a garbage truck passing by that happened to be carrying heaps of old bedding. how fucking bullshit is that. i was so annoyed and exhausted i just fell asleep then and there and wokeup at the tip the next morning. im thinking i have to mix up my strategy but how many times can this happen in a row i thought it couldnt possibly happen more than 3 times but here i am, alive and talking about it now. fucking shite. im gonna hit post and then have another go in a sec so leave some suggestions in the comments reddit about what i can do and if superman swoops down to save me again ill fucking have a gander at what yous write. cheers.

Considering ending it all.

Met my wife at 16 and she was 17 and we been together for 11 years im 27 now. And now everything we built over 11 years was thrown away in minutes. I can admit i have my flaws. But dosent everyone? I loved every imperfection in her. We even started to try for a baby a few months before this happend. Which was my dream. We always had agreements but worked through them by the end of the day. I've tried to come up with ideas to reconnect and get to know eachother again. I got denied every time. She wouldent even make time when I asked to go out and do something together. When she asked me to do something I ran after it as fast as I could. It's just an empty hole now. My lease with her is up at the end of the month. I got no where to go. No where to live. I can't afford to move somewhere else on my own. I get upset cause of the situation and get called a little baby. So when a woman sais to "open up and be vulnerable" it's the biggest mistake I ever made. I'm going to end it all. I got nothing left. My dogs will be taken to the shelter while she keeps her dog and forgets about the other 2 we have like she forgot about me. There was no cheating on ethier side. No physical abuse on ethier side. Some verbal nastiness thats about it. And im just trying to find a reason not to end it all. I understand why the suside rate amongst men is at an all time high. I was never good enough for my family. And she showed me I was good enough for the longest time. If anyone reads this please help me... I have no one to go to or talk to anymore..

Over the years I have had surgeries on my brain because of a cyst causing havoc. It messes with the nerves in my face amoung other things. I have terrible headaches and have lost my job and am now about to be homeless. I never thought it would get this bad and I am going to see the neurologist again to talk about surgery. My doctor recommended temporary disability which I signed up for 2 days ago. I hear it could take quite a long time to get. I don't know what to do as I don't have family to help and I am 45 years old. I will be homeless in 3 days. I'm not sure what this will do, but maybe someone will have some ideas. I didn't want to end my life yet, but it's starting to look like that is the best option.

M22 life is falling apart in a constant state of trying to get through the day can’t function.

symptoms -feeling EXTREMELY out of it all the time/brainfog -HEADACHE -poor memory difficulty concentrating, focus, can’t think straight difficulty having conversation -heart palpitations/ feel pulse and shake -numbness/ tingling in hands and feet -Never feel relaxed -shakeness -weakness -shortness of breath / heavy chest !! -struggling to do daily task -nausea/ gagging - random stretch marks appearing in groin and arm pit. - Anxiety - Back pain - cant sleep - Cough - Squeeze hard to pee sometimes - Slow heart rate - Cold/chills/goosebumps - shakey feeling/light body - Feel worse at night and mornings

Struggling to mange daily needs like go to class and exercise 1 time a day and go to wrestling practice and do hw. Typically feel worse at night

This primarily started in August of 2023 as I started feeling worse then usual gotten to the point I’m at now and has gotten progressively worse been to ER three times this year at a point where I can barely get out of bed.

Was on Ssri lexapro for years upped dose from 5 to 10 mg about a year ago for heighten “anxiety” and new symptoms appearing with little effect went back on 5mg then had a stint over the summer with Prozac went back on lexapro couldn’t handle it was off medication for about a month and half. Just started Zoloft day before thanks giving helped a small bit but barley.

Started Levothyroxine 25mcg beginning of February 2024 last year for hypothyroidism now up to 75mcg thyroid is normal don’t feel any better maybe worse with some jitteryness

Had Lyme antibodies over the summer did 2 weeks of doxycycline and then it came back negative. Doc said I’m good

Currently take -levothyroxine 75mcg 50mcg alternating -Zoloft 25mg - magnesium - Fish oil - Creatine - Allergy shots - Claritin - l methy Bad habits - drink socially on weekends as a escape almost. Want to stop but social life being senior in college is hard I try to keep it light but it almost always ends in me feeling worse the next day bed ridden. - Vape nicotine switching to zyns

Abnormal Blood work -long term high eosinophils and going up -high testosterone -low neutrophils - Low normal aldosterone in morning - Normal am cortisol blood test - High cholesterol - Abnormal nrbc once - High T4 on 75mcg Levo - High tsh when not medicated 7-8 tsh - Abnormal high in 11pm cortisol 1 night 2nd one was normal - High 24hr creatine - Monocytes high - Absolute Eosinophils high

I am F120 currently in college pursuing a math major. I have lived under the poverty line my whole life and even now I am struggling to keep going. my grandma died last month from malpractice taking away the only my Finacial support and the person closest to me. I have friends but they are as depressed as me and are similar situations. I want to either become actuary straight out of college or work as high school teacher until I am able to switch. But I started this too late and may not even be able to get my teaching license before I graduate. I can't afford the exams let alone the study material for the actuarial exams and I don't have a complete understanding of single coding language. I have been applying to jobs like crazy, but I have little job experience, so my applications seem like they are getting auto throw out. I have to get a job to even afford to continue college and the lack of stability is really getting to me. With my unmedicated severe ADHD and depression already making school hard, I don't know how I'll survive much longer. My major feels useless and I don't see the point of living a life with no semblance of joy or peace. I have missed every opportunity, and I keep missing more. It's like the only way for me to ever had succeeded was to have all that know now in like 9th grade so I could have saved more and picked up more jobs. I can't even get hired at a grocery store let alone get internship. My only reason for not dying right now is it would disappoint the people around me. What do I even do?

I've been thinking that I (F16) might have been assaulted as a child but I don't have any concrete memories. I might have buried them, but I feel like there's a chance I could be making it up... here are some signs I think might be relevant:

-At a very young age, I remember having this one weird thought... basically, I remember thinking that if something happened to me like a kidnapping, to get out of it, I would let the men (it was always men) touch or have sex with me. At the time, i didn't even know what sex was, but I knew the touching part. I wasn't even that upset about the prospect-- it seemed normal, or even kind of intriguing.

-I've recently become fairly hypersexual (I hope I'm not misusing that word). I have like.. assault fantasies (me being the victim) and only become aroused with pron with similar themes.

-I'm a lesbian and penises/men in general kind of scare me. I don't think the lesbianism was caused by anything trauma-related, if that's even a thing, because I love women lol, but thought it was relevant. I'm also just SO uncomfortable with men, male family members (minus my dad), or other people with a form of power.

-I have this feeling of almost connection with other SA survivors? It's almost like finding out someone is also from your same town. I've been weirdly fixated on it and I don't know why.

-I hate physical touch from family members and most people in general besides my close friends. I love and completely trust my family, so I feel this weird guilt when I feel repulsed from touch. When I'm on a couch/any sitting area, I can't have my legs touching someone else-- at the least, it's very uncomfortable. I can't fall asleep in the same bed as someone (like a family member) if we're touching somehow. However, I'm autistic and have some sensory sensitivities, so maybe that's it?

-My sister and I did some weirdly sexual things as kids together-- just touching, as I can remember. granted, we were young, and didn't understand anything, so we saw it as a game. I'm not sure if this is normal, but I thought it lended to the hypersexual side of me. but, interestingly enough, I didn't masturbate as a kid.

-I have an amazing memory, partially bc I'm autistic, but I can't remember a lot of my childhood before 8/9yrs old. I have fleeting memories but not much else.

-I had an eating disorder for about a year, from 8th grade to 9th grade. It was mostly about control, like controlling numbers and weight. It was restrictive. I feel so uncomfortable eating in front of people even now, and especially if I'm the only one eating.

This whole thing has been so stressful to figure out. I've heard of people recovering their memories later in life, so since I'm only 16, I'm now panicked and anxious that memories could randomly show up. I currently have a therapist, but I'm so scared to bring this up... I just don't know what to do. Any replies are appreciated. ❤️

So, this is my first post on Reddit, frankly I’ve never used the app. But I’ve seen stories of people asking questions they need answers to. This one is an odd question/reach for help. I F20 have been spending everyday for the last few months high, and I feel like I’ve lost my mind. But I don’t know if it’s a bad thing? I have realized a lot about my mental health in the last few weeks, I’ve reflected on who I was. Who I am. Who I want to be. I’ve realized I’ve wasted my life, and yet, I don’t think I can reach the goals that count as “not wasting my life” I mean that as, I have more motivation to do things, and I have a such better attitude about it. I mean, I can speak to people I don’t like and still be happy, I can realize when I’m over reacting and calm down, I am self aware? In a way I’ve never been. But then I start to realize that, I want so desperately to be happy and content in my life, but I don’t think I’ll ever get that. Death scares me, the thought of existing one moment and then the next… not. And knowing I’m not gonna be the 1 in a million that makes a difference and gets remembered. I’m just gonna fade away and that terrifies me. It’s caused me to have a few panic attacks. The thought of death scares me. I sometimes think it would have been better if I was never given life, to know such a world only for a moment feels like a curse on me. And I don’t know if this is because I’m high 24/7? I wake up, and after about an hour, I get high, every hour or so I smoke some more. Nothing crazy, just a one hitter so I’m still conscious and I can remember things (mostly) but when I’m not high I feel sick (this is normal because I am sick and have issues, but nothing that’s gonna kill me) so I mostly smoke to help with my pain and stomach issues. (I have a bad back and it’s causes my body to tingle and idk)

Is this bad?? Is this normal? I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t even know if this post made sense.

So I met this girl online. We’ve been talking for maybe 2ish months. When we first met, she said she was a little younger than me. I’m 18, so I thought, oh, so she must be 17. Okay, sure. By the first week, she said she was 15 and asked if that changed anything. I said I thought it was a little weird, but we’re only talking and we’re not meeting in person, so I said I guess it’s okay. Anyway, fast forward to today, and I’ve told her a couple of times that I feel a little weird about it and asked her if she did, and she said it didn’t bother her, but if it bothered me, we could stop talking. We only talk about normal things, but when we get into long conversations, I remember how she’s 3 years younger than me, and I feel pretty weird about it. I don’t want to block her or anything because I do enjoy talking to her, but it just feels weird having full conversations with a 15-year-old, so I don’t know what to do.

So, I am really considering slightly fudging a lab result for my hormones in order to get the proper medical help. basically every time I have gone to get my testosterone checked its on the very low end of normal. (410ng dL to be specific) I'm 19 and haven't had puberty really happen to me and I have all the symptoms of low testosterone so my main question is, is it ethical to mess with my labs to get the proper help I need in order to get my insurance to cover it?

Edit: I'm talking about purposefully messing with my testosterone levels by lowering then to below the "normal" threshold of the levels.

so i (17f) am going through quite a rough patch atm. 1. i’m single and ive been in love with the same guy for 3 years who is really lovely to me but definitely not in a romantic way. i can’t give anyone else any attention because it’s not fair to other guys when they can’t compete with this made up version of some random guy in my head. i feel like im gonna be alone forever. i’m also not conventionally attractive. kinda leading to part 2. 2. i hate myself. i look awful. i’m quite chubby and it’s only getting worse because i have an ed called arfid, preventing me from trying loads of foods, so lots of the things i eat are very high calorific foods. i try my best to balance it out and i really don’t eat a lot. it’s more nutrition that’s my problem. i’m nkt confident in my skin. 3. i have no direction in my life. i don’t know what career i want so i can barely decide on a uni course to do and therefore have no motivation to try in my studies. this is really upsetting me because i dont want to live the rest of my life in some shitty job i hate just to get by. my biggest dream is to have kids but id hate to not be able to provide for them yk. 4. my friends are lowkey shit. two of my friends have just gone to paris without me when i’ve always said about going together. they always cancel on me. barely text me. and i have no other ways of meeting new people as my school has like 20 people in my year and since they left im stuck with a bunch of people ive had problems with. so i basically have no friends other than manipulative ones who really don’t care about me. im always left feeling if i was prettier then they would want to be my friend and invite me out and meet up with me more. sucks having no one to talk to. i’m very sociable and i just don’t have an outlet for that atm. 5. im just super depressed. i’ve had a therapist for the past few months but our sessions are going to come to a close as she’s going on maternity leave. i can’t really open up to her aswell because im scared she’s going to tell my parents if i say something concerning. truth is i really just don’t want to live. i’ve struggled with sh before but im too scared to do it now. i think about dying everyday. and i would never do it. but that constant thought in the back of my mind is always there. please help i don’t want to feel like this anymore

So me 18f broke up with my then girlfriend 17f last year so i was 17 and she was 17 and it wasnt the best break out. She left me for a boy she had been talking to while we were dating and she has been very hostile towards me ever since. We dont see each other only at college when we pass each other. While dating we had the same friend group and they all stayed friends with me and left her because of all of the things shes done and other things, they had enough.

Anyways throughout the 10 months of being broken up we have both gotten into new relationships (which are both over now) and after multiple people talking and texting my ex to give me my stuff back she haven't. She even wears my clothes.

I've had friends suggest just going to her house and asking for them also suggesting they go instead of me. The only problem with that is that i cannot face her, i can't even look at her without having a panic attack.

So does anyone have any advice on what i should do with this situation?