I’ve noticed that women often like guys who are good with babies—playful, engaging, comforting. And honestly? I suck at it. Not because I don’t care, but because I’m naturally introverted. I don’t even talk comfortably with people my own age, so how am I supposed to keep a toddler entertained?

It feels like this makes me less likable in their eyes. They see a guy who’s quiet, reserved, and awkward around kids—and that’s not what they expect or want.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is this just an introvert thing, or is it something that can be improved? I’d really like to hear from others who’ve been through something similar.

I am a female and ONLY looking for female friends please. I open up slowly, but if we click, we click! Anyone looking for friends? I need female friends to talk about women stuff.

i really hate talking on the phone. i’d rather talk when i see you in person. there’s nothing that substantial for me to say over the phone, unless i don’t see you often, and even then.. i just don’t like it. even worse, my boyfriend and best friend love talking on the phone and call me daily. but what i really can’t stand is being asked why i didn’t answer the phone. PEOPLE ARENT OBLIGATED TO ANSWER THE PHONE IF THEY DON’T WANT TO! especially daily! i’ve tried explaining this so many times but it seems no one understands or thinks im valid. 🙃 i swear i never used to be this bad, but im so burnt out. so burnt out from everyone. rant over.

I have come a ways from when I preferred to be more isolated. I got promoted into a leadership type role at work a few months ago. (I don’t have direct reports but I’m considered to be a leader because I’m in a training role.) I like going to work conferences and meeting new people and seeing people I work with because we work remote and I live out of town. I see the value in socializing with my family and am working on establishing “no phone zones” where I put down my phone to be engaged in the moment.

But one thing I hate is how when I’m uncomfortable, I’m forced to “deal with it” even in situations where it’s not crucial for me to participate. I’m in church choir where we all know each other and the director made us do an icebreaker question before practice the other night. I said I was uncomfortable being on the spot and a lady in front of me said “well get used to it!” and the director wouldn’t not let me participate. He just came back to me at the end. He also loves to take group pictures after special Masses. I tried to decline on Christmas Eve (especially because I’m short and overweight and always have to stand in front) and basically got told no I couldn’t and I had to be in the front. It’s like these people just do not respect my discomfort and say ok no worries…in church of all places. Now, on Christmas Day, when my aunt wanted a picture with me and my grandmother in her 90s, I was happy to do so because my gram is family and doesn’t have a lot of time left. I just don’t see the value in having to pose with people who aren’t my best friends in a picture that will be quickly forgotten. Who’s going to look back and say “here we are from Christmas 2024!” when the Mass and the people in the photo never change?

I guess I just don’t see “have to” in the same way these people do. I have to pay taxes. I have to go to the dentist. Things that are part of being an adult even if I hate them. I don’t “have to” do an icebreaker or be in a group pic with people I’m not close to that will just languish on Facebook never to be looked at again. I was in a choir for a few years where the director never took mandatory group pics and have never heard any complaints.

I used to be so extroverted and friendly and as the years gave drug on, I’m closer to 30 and it feels like peopling just exhausts me, I wish I had a shell to retreat into when I’m forced to talk to people outside of my little bubble, it’s like I’m losing my ability to make new connections and I hate it and it’s making my anxiety so bad. Anyone else get like this? I’m hoping the feeling will pass with time, my job is literally working as a dispatcher on the phone, I’ve not worked since last week, the thought of talking to callers just makes me sick to my stomach.

I don't like talking too much, and I don't enjoy social gatherings. I prefer distancing myself from people, enjoy being alone, and love listening to music.

Where are my overworked introverts at? The example above sucks when you’re also bad at delegating, poor at following up, and think it’s only going to turn out great if you control every aspect and if one thing is off you will feel overly responsible.

I couldn’t see the artists name in this screenshot I found.

just a random thought- do introverts actually like extroverts? or even the other way around, can extroverts be drawn to introverts?

the two personalities are so different, but I wonder if that difference ever creates a strong connection or attraction. has anyone experienced this kind of dynamic? how did it go?

Hi, Im an introvert. I don’t like to talk when I’m sitting with my husband family, cause I don’t understand about their conversation. Because of my quiet nature, my mother ln law said this to me “ Why dont you talk? Why it’s so hard to make you talk? It’s like we must pay money for you to get you to talk! You are still young be live! . They don’t understand what introvert is, they think everyone is like them, talking 24H nonstop. But, I really get hurt by my mother in law statement about my self being my self.

What would you do if you were me?

It’s a warm Sunday where I am. I was up early, before most people were up. The sunlight felt different in the very early hours of it… less like a spotlight, more like permission.

Lately I’ve been living at the edges of things. Not quite disconnected, but not fully present either. I answer messages slowly. I let calls ring out. Even when I’m with people, I’m somewhere behind myself, watching.

I’m not sad exactly. Just… perhaps “uninhabited”.

I spent a lot of time mirroring until not long ago. At saying the right thing. At becoming whoever the room needed. That made me liked, even needed. But now, when it’s just me, I can’t always tell if there’s still someone here.

For those of you who’ve softened into solitude over time: how do you reconnect with yourself when you’ve gone quiet too long?

How do you know when it’s safe to return?

I know i haven't been on this particular sub for long but looking at a lot of posts and seeing some of the reactions from things I've said I just want to see what the response is.

What stops you from reaching out or initiating a conversation on reddit?

Alot of people seem to have a want to talk or text someone and feel heard, but no one really seems to try to iniate contact.

I won't iniate when I've posted something only because I feel like i shouldn't bug every commenter, but the few comments I really liked in others I've reached out and always gotten a decent response.

It’s a small, digital zine (9 pages) made for those who feel too much, speak softly, and carry invisible worlds inside them.

Free / pay-what-you-want. You don’t need to subscribe, comment, or follow.

This is for anyone who’s ever been told they’re “too quiet.”

🕯️ Download here: [https://ko-fi.com/s/f70b1e509e]()

—Mr. Nobody
(quietuprising.substack.com)

Hey, bit new to reddit still, made a post about this but it seemed to vanish so imma post again and hope for the best. I’m a bit of an ambivert myself. I love to retreat myself from social gatherings but whenever I have no other choice but to be alone I hate it and feel incredibly lonely. I’ll be stuck on my own for spring break in a small town and I know no one there. My question is, how do you introverts deal with feelings of loneliness without social gatherings yk?

I’ve been using this new app called Pataka App, where you connect via voice/text chats based on shared interests only. No fake bios, no forced pics. You join quiet group rooms or just talk 1-on-1 — when your interests align.

As an introvert, I finally found a place I can actually vibe with. You’re not judged, and you can keep your profile private.

💬 I’ve had convos on Urdu poetry, cricket, even late-night tech rants — all without awkwardness.

Honestly, I’m scared to share the link because it’s still small and too peaceful... but if anyone's like me and wants it, DM me. 👀

Just wondering 34 M here only asked out one person and really almost never meet someone single with no kids near my age

I just need to decompress after a party I went to. I really thought I was going to enjoy the interactions, but I was so wrong. I crave connection, but when I get the chance, I freeze.

I ended up off to the side most of the time, barely talking to anyone. It felt like people wanted to start conversations, but I was anxious and couldn’t keep them going. The only time I felt somewhat okay was when I talked to people I already knew—but even then, it was a struggle.

I tried. I really did. But it felt like I failed miserably. Now I just feel like maybe I’m better off staying home and not trying at all.

I know I’m introverted, but this feels deeper than that—it’s like I want to be social, but my anxiety gets in the way. I’m tired of this cycle.

How do you deal with this kind of thing? I feel stuck between wanting to connect and not being able to.

The past few months have really broken me. I’m not coping well. I keep telling everyone I’m okay, but the truth is, I’m not. I feel ashamed to admit I’m struggling, but deep down I know it’s temporary. Right now though, I’m just out of strength.

I’d really like to have an honest chat with someone for a moment — no judgment, just real talk. Maybe someone else needs that too.

It’s been going on for too long. I’m mentally exhausted.

Let me know.
Thank you.

28 yr old female, INFP personality.

I have a crush on my neighbor. I see his profile on tinder sometimes. I never swiped on him because I don’t want to make this weird if he isn’t interested in me. I used to say hi to him but when I seen him on tinder I stopped saying hi to him. I have no clue why I did that. Yesterday I gained the courage to have a normal human conversation with him. I asked his name and shared mine. When we said bye to each other I told him, not to forget my name, he repeated my name then chuckled.

Is that flirting? I’m pretty good at reading body language but I suck at understanding flirting for some reason. Also when it comes to people I’m interested in, my judgement is so horrible.

I just hate it so much when im at school and i want to answer a question i know full well i can answer but the moment i talk i start shaking and stuttering and my mind going blank. Its so frustrating because sometimes my answer is like really good but i end up panicking and giving a basic and very poorly explain answer to my teacher because in so nervous. Most of the time i dont even bother to answer anymore because im so terrified to get an answer wrong.

An introvert is someone who tends to feel more energized by spending time alone or in calm, low-stimulation environments, rather than in crowds or constant social interaction. It doesn’t mean shy. It doesn’t mean antisocial. It just means your inner world is a big, beautiful place, and you often find clarity, comfort, and creativity in solitude.

Here’s a simple way to think of it:

• Introverts recharge their energy by being alone.
• Extroverts recharge by being around other people.

Introverts might:

• Prefer deep one-on-one conversations over group chats.
• Need downtime after being around people for a while.
• Reflect a lot before speaking or making decisions.
• Be very self-aware and thoughtful.
• Enjoy solo hobbies—like reading, writing, gaming, drawing, or just daydreaming.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just a different way of experiencing the world—and honestly, a beautiful one.

I'll go first.

My favorite is walking, listening to music in the early hours of the morning and just aimlessly walking around, this has been enhanced lately just by being in a country where I know that they are more solitary in nature so no one really bothers me.

My second is art, any form of it, I can be lost in thought and create something. I'm horrible at most forms but that what makes it fun.

What about everyone else?

The way some of you guys act on here is crazy. I was just on a post about hating extroverts, because it’s “giving them a taste if their own medicine“ Who is saying they hate introverts?? and even so- why are half the replies always “extroverts are complete airheads, they have no critical thinking and never want to talk about anything meaningful, always the mundane” yeah sure… and this isn’t a mundane conversation rn? It just feels very bizarre because (not all) some of you guys act like introverts are being hunted down and hung by the way people talk. People also don’t really understand what introversion and extroversion is, I think. No, you aren’t an introvert because you have social anxiety. That’s not what that means. Same for extroverts, im one and I don’t have a million friends, I probably have less then a lot if introverts I just get energy from people.

This is something I struggle very hard with and I seriously need some advice because this floods my mind constantly.

I dread seeing people that have something to say even semi-bad about me. An example, seeing family you havent seen in forever and them saying "Why dont you come visit more often?" Or "It's not like you come to see me anymore". If I dont go on a trip with friends "Man it was really fun, I wish you had went" Or "only a real friend wouldve gone on that trip with us".

It's the passive aggressive comments that get to me. If I respond I either laugh it off, get semi defensive, or give a legitimate reason why i didnt do X. If I have 2 of my friends/family meet that have never met each other, Im always afraid theyre going to bring up some dirt about me.

This is a weekly occurrence for me and honestly it's crippling and bleeds into my everyday life. I re-enact how I should respond to try and level the conversation back out but it's the upcoming fear of these conversations is what stresses me out to no end. Ive been dealing with this my entire life and it's leading me not going out to avoid my stupid (although probable) theories.

Any advice would be appreciated.

💯 it's damn right impossible, even if you like the same exact things. Trust me, I keep trying IRL right this very moment right now and failing every time for 6 years.

Update: Okay, meetup went well. All I had to do was approach and actually talk to them. They were all nerdy guys into anime, like me.

The woman host was even when I talked to her about gyms. Even got her number without asking, who is going to text me about active outdoor activities they do.