Struggling with social anxiety? Here are a few mindset shifts that helped me:

1.Stop trying to be liked. The more you focus on being liked, the more anxious you’ll feel. It puts your brain in “performance mode.”

2.Start focusing on being present. Shift your attention from yourself to the person you’re talking to. What are they saying? How are they feeling?

3.Connection > impression. People respond better when they feel heard and seen — not when you try to be perfect or clever.

4.Ground yourself in the moment. Notice your surroundings, breathe deeply, and anchor yourself in the “now” instead of your thoughts.

5.Silence is okay. Don’t fear pauses. They’re natural. You’re not awkward — you’re just human.

6.Small wins matter. Even brief eye contact, a smile, or saying “hi” counts. Celebrate that. You’re retraining your brain.

7.You’re not being judged as harshly as you think. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to analyze your every move.

These shifts didn’t cure my anxiety overnight, but they made social interactions way less scary. Hope this helps someone out there.

I’m so afraid it’s going to be one giant trauma for me and that it’s going to make me feel like school did. School was so traumatic for me and it got to the point I had to drop out and finish school at home. And for ten years I've done nothing since finishing high school. Just wasting away in my room. I'm legit terrified of getting a job. I don't think I can even hold a job for more than a day. What am I supposed to do? Therapy and medication has never helped. I feel like there's just no hope for me and I should just end it all.

I don’t have any anxiety of nervousness when approaching social situations, such as when someone comes up to talk to me. I feel calm.

You know what my problem is? I just can’t find any words to say. My mind blanks out. Sometimes it takes me seconds to figure out the word I wanna say. Nothing is automatic like most normal people I know. It sucks because I wanna be better at socializing. But I feel like I’m just too stupid to hold a conversation.

I’ve started to read books to build my vocabulary but only time will tell if it will help my conversation skills. Anyone else feel this way?

I would like to shout out all the boyfriend ASMR audio creators out there because I just had the best socialization week of my entire life.

After seven straight months of not holding eye contact for more than 3 seconds, I held eye contact ~80% of the time with every single person I've talked to this past week.

Boyfriend ASMR has genuinely (and ashamedly) built my confidence around others by allowing me to roleplay while I'm working on menial tasks, thus improving my conversational skills and response times, so I can be in a flow state of talking when with others. The conversational confidence made it easier to sit straighter and truly be immersed in what was happening around me and with the person in front of me, no longer dissociating and looking away.

(Also they come with an added bonus of making me feel giddy and delusional so absolute win-win)

Title pretty much says it all. Maybe everyone feels this way idk. But when I have only a couple of drinks, my inhibitions are right where I feel they should normally be. I say things that are on my mind but normally wouldn’t say because I’m too shy and introverted. I stand up for myself, which I don’t do when I’m sober. I’m normally very awkward sober, and I know that other people can see it too, but when I have a couple drinks I don’t feel that way. And I feel like I actually have more clarity of things when I’m a little tipsy but not obliterated. Anyone know how I can encapsulate that energy when I’m sober during my M-F and 9-5? 30M if that matters. Just so you know that I’m not a teenager who just had his first drink.

This is something I've been thinking about for a long while, but I've never came across other posts sharing the same sentiment. For whatever reason, life was easier when most people were wearing face masks. I don't really understand why I felt this was an easier time. I found with face masks I would more frequently go to cashier tills (rather than self-service), or ask a question. Pre-covid, as depressing as it is to come to this realisation; looking back over years, I've never had an actual conversation with a stranger, or stopped to chat. I have fleeting moments in shops where I will push myself to talk, but I am more just saying a statement and moving on, rather than entering conversation.

I mean I wasn't having full-blown conversations while mask-wearing, but I certainly felt way more at ease and comfortable out in public. I definitely noticed that the monthly challenge I always set myself to at least once a month ask to buy a lottery ticket... just as an excuse to challenge myself. I think it's referred to as exposure therapy. I tended to try that more then.

I thought I'd just throw that out there and see if anyone who has social anxiety can relate. Curious if anyone has managed to get that feeling back.

I'm pretty sure i have social Anxiety. I did a few online tests and they said I have it, even when I tried to play the symptoms down as much as possible. I'm so tired of being anxious about every little social interaction all the time and I'm considering trying to get myself a actual diagnosis and help, but I don't know how to get over the Anxiety to approach my doctor about it. Simply the thought of making an appointment freaks me out. What do I say? What will my doctor say? If I embarrass myself I still have to go back there every time I'm sick

Hi everyone, I recently came across some studies suggesting that creatine monohydrate might support mental health, including anxiety symptoms. It seems to play a role in brain energy metabolism, and there are indications it could help with mood regulation, cognitive performance, and even emotional resilience.

Since social anxiety can be tied to low energy, brain fog, or stress sensitivity, I’m wondering if anyone here has personally tried creatine and noticed any improvements — whether in energy levels, mental clarity, or reduced anxiety in social situations.

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences, both positive, negative or neutral.

My whole life I’ve felt like I’m below average or not that cute. If someone doesn’t talk to me, I feel like they aren’t interested (romantically).

how do i ask a friend (couple) to hang out one on one. we always hang out as a group and i see that one of my friend would spend time with eachother and i hear they would share stories of them hanging out and I feel so left out.

what is something I can do with them?

I'm curious to know, what causes you the most social anxiety?

i think that all of the time. i think my life is pathetic and i look at pictures of me as a child when i was happy and i cry because i always think that i really let that kid down

Tomorrow, we have to present our project — including a working model — and I’m honestly terrified. It counts for internal marks, and our professor is strict, cold, and known for picking apart every little thing. I’ve seen how she asks deep, unexpected questions that completely throw people off. That fear has been sitting in my stomach for days now.

The project we’re presenting… I don’t even know how to feel about it anymore. I’ve put in effort, but now my overthinking is making me doubt everything — whether it’s good enough, whether we’ve missed something, whether it’ll stand up to questioning. I can’t tell what’s real and what’s just anxiety messing with my head.

My team? They’ve barely contributed. They don’t really care. I’ve been the one trying to hold it all together, making sure something gets done. And during the presentation, I already know I’ll be the one talking while they just stand there. And if anything goes wrong, the embarrassment will fall on me. Not them.

I don’t even like the degree I’m doing — I took it out of fear, not passion. But I still try. Even when I feel disconnected. Even when I feel like my brain doesn’t work like it used to because of chronic anxiety. I still try, and somehow, that just makes the fear of failure feel worse.

I overthink every little thing. I worry that if I say too much, the prof will start asking deeper questions I won’t be able to answer. But if I say too little, I’ll seem unprepared. It feels like there’s no winning.

I’m exhausted. I just want to get through tomorrow without completely breaking down or embarrassing myself. I needed to vent this somewhere.

Everyone here seems so young, and I'm suddenly feeling so old... and the 90s seems like 10yrs ago to me lol - just wondering if there are any older people here struggling with severe social anxiety or do you feel that most people, by the time they enter their 50s, have made significant improvement?

I just need to decompress after a party I went to. I really thought I was going to enjoy the interactions, but I was so wrong. I crave connection, but when I get the chance, I freeze.

I ended up off to the side most of the time, barely talking to anyone. It felt like people wanted to start conversations, but I was anxious and couldn’t keep them going. The only time I felt somewhat okay was when I talked to people I already knew—but even then, it was a struggle.

I tried. I really did. But it felt like I failed miserably. Now I just feel like maybe I’m better off staying home and not trying at all.

How do you deal with this kind of thing? I feel stuck between wanting to connect and not being able to.

im embarrassed to exist and i just wish i didn't have to be perceived anymore.

there's so many things i feel ashamed of doing in front of other people. i dont like letting my real laugh out, i dont like telling stories about myself because im scared they're going to be too long and boring, i dont like eating in front of people, i dont like crying in front of people, i dont like showing that im angry or excited or almost any emotion that shows i care, i hate people knowing that i care, and i wish i didn't care what people think but i do so much and i just feel so ashamed.

i feel like an alien, i feel beneath human and fundamentally different from everybody else. why can't this just feel normal for me. im scared of having friends, asking people to hang out and showing that i WANT to be their friend and be around them is so embarrassing for me and i just feel clingy and desperate and annoying if i ever pursue anything. i feel like ive given up on ever being in a relationship, it's so EMBARRASSING. they have to meet your family, they have to know you like them, you have to be around them and be able to talk to them. and its not like i can even handle friendships anyways. i feel so alone. i hate feeling like i don't fit in, like there's something im not in on, like everyone is talking about something that i don't know, or like a joke im not in on. i hate feeling like such an outsider. im embarrassed of pretty much every part of relationships with other people and i hate being perceived and i don't see what the point is anymore.

I am 15 year old guy,my problem is when I go out of my house i feel so socialy anxious and i forgot how to walk properly,and when I am with my friends i get more confident like i am the more confident one in group,can someone help me with this ?!!.

I graduated recently and I'm so scared I might never land a job because of how anxious I get when I talk to people. Whenever I think about being in an interview, I'm so afraid I might just freeze up and my mind goes blank and I won't be able to utter an single word. Are there any tips you can share with me on how to maybe not mess up my interviews or maybe do well on them?

I don't know what it is, but my mental health with regards to social anxiety is getting worse these days, even though I've been putting in more effort to go out and meet people these days.

For example, if someone doesn't reply to a text I'd sent, for whatever reason, I feel convinced that they don't like me, they find me annoying, or I did something to upset them. Or whenever I hang out with someone, I almost immediately cringe at myself when I get back home and I'm alone; if I'm not immediately cringing at myself, then it's guaranteed that it will be the first I do the next morning.

And I know that those feelings are often unfounded and irrational, but that's why we call it social "anxiety', I guess - because anxiety is founded on irrationality a lot of the time. I'm not necessarily looking for advice or anything, but if someone has some words of wisdom or just something to cheer me up, I'm all ears lol

I've always written, filmed with my camera, and painted since I was very young. I love every artistic medium and I know art and writing are meant to be a part of my life. For context, I am not saying it is something I would even do full-time but I genuinely feel I am meant to be sharing more of my art and writing and I don't because of mental health issues and dealing with a lot of genuinely jealous people over the years. Due to a very bad mental health episode (psychosis) I've been revaluating my life. I am thinking about slowly starting work again with reduced hours (the therapist doesn't think it's good to go back to full time just yet and I agree) and focus on just MAKING SHIT. I realise in the future I have to pick a career and I feel like I need to give this a shot but im scared of being cancelled for something minuscule or constantly judged and I don't like the idea of potentially receiving any kind of attention. Nowadays to be successful you need to merge with your art as some sort of brand and that shit goes so against my heart. I don't know what to do but I know that not making my art or sharing it at all is kind of killing my heart. Even if I fail I know I need to do this. Even if only one person buys a book or likes what I write. I feel that I was always meant to tell my own stories and not anyone else's. I don't want to look back and feel sad that I didn't give myself a chance. Does anyone have any advice?

Ever since I could remember I've always been told I'm shy and people always ask why I'm so shy. That got so old and made my anxiety much worse. It put me in such a dark place.

Once I got a job and finished high school, I got so much better and independent. It was like starting over. Whenever I see my family they always have to bring up how I am and It floods back memories. I was doing so much better, but it's been hard shake off.

Unfortunately I struggle a lot due to social anxiety, especially in school. I feel very uncomfortable being surrounded by people my age and don't really have friends. The worst thing in school is P.E class for me. Being judged by my classmates and teacher all the time and having to work together with other people make me extremely nervous. Since I wear a smartwatch I even see how high my heart rate gets. Do you guys have any tips how to feel less uncomfortable you would really help me

Hi, posted this on r/suicide watch but nobody said anything and I'm starting to think maybe I am the stupid villain that my brain tells me I am. Anyway, here is the message I posted for anyone who might have time to read it. Thanks <3

I have been experiencing really bad social anxiety for a long time now. When I try to explain to people that I struggle to communicate their advice is always something along the lines of "just do it" or "life is too short" Ok!?!!? Well if the answer was to simply just DO it I would have done it by now.

I don't think that anyone l've spoken to about this understands how awful it is to want to say hello to a friend who is in another friendship group of people you don't know very well, but feel so scared to do that that you are only able to chat to them online.

I don't think people understand how scary group dynamics are to navigate, or how horrible it is to have a constant running commentary of thoughts saying things like "you swallowed too loudly" "you need to look up higher so your face looks less puffy" "everyone hates you, you're too quiet and stupid" "you should (tw suicide) k*s."

I try to fit in, I sometimes go to parties when my friends do, but I can only get through them if I'm drunk and even then it's a challenge and I have had panic attacks at these kind of events before, and even just in response to regular conversation. I hate dancing, and singing and any kind of activity that means I have to display something about myself. I try to act like everyone else but it is so tiring.

I feel like every time 1 run out of energy to pretend I'm ok and to devote my attention to everyone else's emotions and feelings, people see no reason to hang out with me. Or they say that they don't want to talk to me because I give off some sort of angry vibes.

I understand that I'm hard to be around when I'm struggling but I'm sick of the contradictions I hear. Things like "It's ok to talk about your feelings you're not a burden" and then "I don't think I am comfortable talking to you when you're in that low mood".

I don't know what to do. All I know is that despite what they say, my friends probably hate me deep down. My Mum told me once that I need to get out of my room to "remind my brother that he actually has a f@cking sister" (quoted) but I feel like if self isolate I won't be able to mess up as much. Though people seem to hate me when I isolate as well! I can't win.

I can't escape the pain by staying here in this world. But I'm too scared to do anything to myself. I am in an awful inbetween stage and it feels indescribably horrid. Also sucks that the health care system has gone to the dogs I've been trying to find therapy for 3 years... oh well lol. Anyways, if anyone has any shared experiences or advice about how they deal with their own anxieties then that would really be appreciated.

Related so much to Jesse Eisenberg’s character in A Real Pain. Specially the line where he says “I would give anything to know what that feels like to have charm, to light up a room when I walk in”. I don’t know if this is the accurate sub to discuss this but just wanted to tell someone.

When I was around 13, I started to withdraw socially and felt different from everyone else. Over time, my anxiety got worse. In high school, I started blushing and sweating in social settings. In university, things escalated into panic attacks.

I ended up taking a year off. I was overwhelmed—couldn’t sleep, had constant dizziness, couldn’t talk to anyone without panicking. I liked the subjects, but life felt like a nightmare. Some professors treated me badly, which made things even worse.

At my lowest, I had suicidal thoughts. There were weeks when I was stuck in bed, not eating, not sleeping, surrounded by mess.

But during this break, I’ve been trying to rebuild myself. I started going to therapy. I’m eating better, moving my body, doing small, not-too-demanding activities, staying clean and organized, even quit smoking. I plan to start doing bike deliveries soon—just to stay active and get outside.

The healthy lifestyle is helping. I still feel anxious sometimes, especially after long periods of isolation, but it’s nothing compared to how I felt during university. Back then, it felt like I was collapsing. Maybe it’s because you see the same people every day, and the pressure never stops.

Despite everything, I never had problems with grades. I probably would’ve had even better ones if I hadn’t been under so much pressure. At home, my brain works ten times better. I even kept learning on my own during this year, did some projects by myself—just because I’m genuinely passionate about the subject.

I’m considering going back to repeat the year. My psychologist says that if it gets overwhelming again, I can try short-term benzodiazepines. I’m still unsure, but I’m not ruling it out.

I don’t know if I want to or even can do it online—part of me wants to go out there and live life as it is, with the good and the bad. I don’t want to hide anymore. I don’t want anxiety to keep taking opportunities from me.

I’ve already survived some of the worst—panic attacks in class, trembling, freezing during presentations, turning red, feeling ashamed—but I also shut everyone out. I was terrified all the time.

If anyone has gone through something similar—taking time off and going back, or managing anxiety in a university setting—I’d love to hear your thoughts or advice. Thank you for reading.