r/oneliners • u/Summa-Solstice • 2h ago
I want to open a curry shop in Australia and call it “Get That India”
7
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r/oneliners • u/jtrier1 • 10h ago
The voices in my head said I might need therapy, but I'm not sure.
4
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r/oneliners • u/Ochib • 1d ago
I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat', You probably saw our posters.
79
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r/oneliners • u/CarsCarpal • 1d ago
If I ever open an Opticians shop I will market it with the line "buy your lenses here if you ever want to see your children again".
37
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r/oneliners • u/KidRic40 • 1d ago
I think my archaeologist friend is sad because I overheard him telling someone his career was in ruins.
10
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r/oneliners • u/luckskywatcher • 15h ago
Klan rallies and Confederate flags are fairly South explanatory.
0
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r/oneliners • u/Ochib • 22h ago
The three standard German torque specs for doing up bolts are Niezentight, Gutentight and Fokkentight
1
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r/oneliners • u/Society_Academic • 1d ago
HIPAA laws are hard to carry out for prisoners with arthritis because the Warden has joint custody.
3
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r/oneliners • u/joekerr9999 • 21h ago
Answer only yes or no: did you stop beating your wife?
0
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r/oneliners • u/AnGabhaDubh • 2d ago
"No, no, no," said the Witch to her hapless apprentice, "that's an Allen wrench, and I wanted a Hex Key!"
15
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r/oneliners • u/j_articulate • 1d ago
The Emperor walked (with no clothes) so Trump could run (the economy into the ground)
0
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r/oneliners • u/Society_Academic • 1d ago
Only to those close enough to see him for who he really, will Dracula bare his fangs.
0
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r/oneliners • u/MCFrontRun • 3d ago
Chameleons are supposed to blend well, but I think it's ruined this smoothie.
85
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r/oneliners • u/Competitive-Panic473 • 2d ago
I entered a comedy club and everyone laughed because the joke had arrived
2
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r/oneliners • u/CarsCarpal • 3d ago
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
97
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r/oneliners • u/woodman1061 • 4d ago
If one more person tells me I'm indecisive, I don't know what I'll do!!
37
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r/oneliners • u/LostBetsRed • 3d ago
A Jewish matron runs down the beach yelling, "Help, help! My son, the doctor, is drowning!"
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