Thoughts on fidgets in session?

[u/Puzzleheaded_Hat3712]

As a fidgety person, I have always struggled to sit still during sessions. I know in school they always cram it down your throat to be open body language and perfectly still, but I can’t do it. I’ve found that using a fidget during sessions lets me focus on what my clients are saying better as well as observing them. I also can keep the rest of my body still if my hands are busy. I haven’t had a client tell me that I can’t or that they don’t like it when I ask them if they are okay with me using one. I guess my question is, do you all feel that it’s inappropriate for me to use a fidget? Too distracting for the client?

[u/conversekid]

I feel that it is okay if it doesn't distract you or the client. Maybe some moments that would be good to put it down in, but other than that.

In school, at the end of our group counselling practice, my classmate asked why I brought a pen with me to every 'group' despite us not writing. I said that it became habit after I brought it with me the first day and that it is comfortable in my hand and in a way helps me 'be' in the moment. Our prof then went on how it could look like 'distancing' and be a barrier between oneself and others.l, etc. And suggested I get a small rock or ring instead lol. Flash forward, not allowed to wear rings at work, and luckily I always have a pen in hand, and no issues have ever come from same. Sorry, mini tangant/rant lol

[u/istealsteel → u/conversekid]

Wow, I feel seen. I do this exact thing. Always grab a pen just to hold in my hand. Not note taking or anything, just require a pen to keep me grounded. No one has ever commented and I doubt they even notice

[u/conversekid → u/istealsteel]

My classmate later apologized for asking, and understood, was just curious (and of course the prof ran with it). I walk around with my pen at the office, in hand or pocket. Great to fidget with in meetings too lol