Never letting knights near my woods again

[u/PierreWest367]

[u/DanktopusGreen]

The toddler kingdom doesn't stand a chance.

[u/PierreWest367 → u/DanktopusGreen]

They were already having problems with the YouTubers guild and the knights of the white van

[u/CursedFingerInUAss → u/PierreWest367]

[u/Tempest_Barbarian → u/PierreWest367]

Not to mention the clerics

[u/offbrandpoptart → u/PierreWest367]

The leader of the knights of the white van is named Daniel.

[u/BlackMetalMagi]

dude thats a Mithral Armored Blinkdog

Seeing as it is obviously bread for war, in Half plate of high quality made from a rare metal That would only enhance the specific abilities of a blinkdog & not sacrifice stealth, and that they are the favored creatures of fey gods, you will be dealing with not just a normal forest, but an incursion of Canine Clerics.

The Holy Blinkhound Order of the Wild Hunt.

You are so fucked if the wild hunt of the fey relms shows op and those dogs go out, they have holy magic, Are trained like monks, and teletort at will. They are mage killers that teleport behind a wizard and gore the legs and hamstring, rip at the hands and arms and go for the the throat as a pack in the time it takes you to "blink". They get you on the ground, crippled, restrain, Silenced from the grip around your wind pipe, No spell casting with all that as they rip at you untill dieing and bleeding, then they spare you with healing magic if they were just ordered to capture you and open a dimensional door to put your body in an antimagic field cage.

As a lich and made of bones i avoid them AT ALL COST not from fear, but the thought of dog slobber on my bones is a trigger for OCD. If you did not know the mental aspect of fealing like you have unwanted dogslobber on your bones that wont wash off might be worse than death....

...(starts working on a spell to replicate the sensation as a curse)

[u/DreamingofRlyeh]

They stopped sending dogs after me. I kept luring them to my side with treats.

[u/PierreWest367 → u/DreamingofRlyeh]

Same here but you can lure so many dogs before is too expensive to create so many homunculi to take care of them

[u/DreamingofRlyeh → u/PierreWest367]

I'm a necromancer. You would be amazed at how many people are thrilled to spend their afterlife hanging out with dogs. They describe it as better than Paradise.

[u/will3025 → u/DreamingofRlyeh]

Didn't expect to read about a wholesome utopian undead dog shelter today, but I'm here for it.

[u/DreamingofRlyeh → u/will3025]

People who know me associate two things with me: dogs and the horror genre. It was inevitable

[u/RedditsDeadlySin]

How many skeletons for this good boy? He needs all the bones he can have

[u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270]

They're using dogs now? That is downright sad. Can't even swing their sword anymore, and that was the one thing they had going.

[u/SpiritFire300064]

Ah yes, general cupcake has been highly effective against the toddlers. With the van driving dragoons and the weird uncle templars, the children's lines shall be decimated.

[u/SadisticMittenz]

"Take their castle, and leave no survivors."

this boy comes trotting over the hill

"I want him brought to me alive and unharmed, do you understand? STEWARD fetch the good treats, now man, i shant repeat myself!"

[u/Mitchell_SY]

When you need to make sure their blood line doesn’t survive.

[u/Grappling_w_reality]

Fledgling wizards really be out here sending armored canines to defend their fortress, smh

Real Arcane Magi know you keep you puppers by your studies while the Deep-maw hydras greet your would be intruders😤

[u/Nelrene]

The knights sent them out to pee on your tower.