99
u/RegularUser23 3d ago
Well, have you tried applying yourself?
How about putting an effort?
And what about not using your disorders as an excuse ?
Maybe, if you truly understood that we all don't want to work and do chores but we all do it anyways, you would do it right away, right?
Come on OP, we all forget things sometimes, we are all ADHD
I have heard all of the above, multiple times, it makes me want to go rampage on people
42
u/Major-Implement-5518 3d ago
''DONT MAKE UP EXCUSES FOR YOUR LAZINESS"
29
u/RegularUser23 3d ago
"JUST WRITE IT DOWN!"
11
u/SnowTheMemeEmpress 3d ago
These phrases gave me flashbacks.
Also the last one since my mom was so pissed that I kept writing on myself as a kid with pens (ball point, I knew which ones washed off easy) she asked why I didn't write it on a piece of paper.
Literally told her "well, I can lose a piece of paper but I can't lose my hand, as easily."
13
u/EternalPending 3d ago
This comment is amazing, and horrible, I hate it's contents so much, it's so annoying, it's so annoying I can't tell you how much its annoying.
6
u/HydorcodoneCookies 3d ago
I will execute the functions of a Glock on the next person to say this to me
6
u/EssayMagus 1d ago
"This doesn't affect you as you think it does, you just let yourself be affected by it".
"I have ADHD and that doesn't stop me from being productive/doing things".
"ADHD is fake, that's an excuse to be lazy".
And so on, so forth.
8
u/Fresh-Fiskegratenge 3d ago
ADHD is an explanation, not an excuse. Do the thing
11
u/RegularUser23 3d ago
I get what you mean. The problem is that, even when giving an explanation people hit you (not always but often) with borderline passive aggressive comments like you are giving excuses.
I don't use it (or my bipolar) as excuses, I just give context on why I think X situation happened. But I don't bother anymore, those who are close and matter already know, those who aren't don't need to know, so I just apologize and correct my mistakes
3
u/Pwacname 2d ago
Also there are levels of importance and levels or difficulty to tasks, you know? For lots of things, like important stuff, it’s my job to figure out how to do them with my disability or ask for help. But if there’s a low importance task that would take me exceedingly high effort to complete, yes, actually, I’ll not do it, because of my ADHD. Stupid examples, but the only ones I can think of right now: when incant focus on my very important college reading, I will figure out a way around it - read it out loud, read smaller sections, etc etc etc. but if I just can’t make myself sort out the laundry and finish the dishes because I keep walking off and not even noticing, instead of forcing myself to do that anyway, I’ll just put the laundry in with a colour catching towel and put everything in the dishwasher, because I COULD try to make myself handwash my semi delicate items or I could save myself the struggle
3
u/RegularUser23 2d ago
For sure.
I have learned that as well. Some tasks are simply not worth the struggle. We have to choose our battles wisely lol
2
133
u/pdbard13 3d ago
This and "ADHD is a superpower" are my pet peeves. I get the sentiment. I get that the person saying that is just trying to be nice, but no. No ADHD is not a superpower. It would be the worst superpower if it was one. You're telling me that basically being a chaotic and neurotic mess all the time is appealing just doesn't sound right. I wouldn't trust myself with an actual superpower. I doubt I would be like Homelander, but there would be so many intrusive thoughts that come along with that territory.
14
u/royinraver 3d ago
I love being ADHD, why wouldn’t I try to be my best self with the cards I got handed? ADHD sucks sometimes, but other times it feels great to have my brain work the way it does.
12
u/Equivalent-Income845 3d ago
I work in a creative field and most people I know are neurodivergant in some way. Many with diagnosed with ADHD. I don't think I'd be good in this career if I was nuero typical.
11
u/aarakocra-druid 3d ago
Idk why the nts can't accept us loving ourselves if we don't have some kind of "superpower". I don't have to falsely believe I'm not disabled to love every bit of me.
1
u/royinraver 3d ago
Disability or not, just love yourself. One of my best friends is ADHD, and has been in a wheelchair his whole life. He’ll never get to know what it’s like to use his legs, on top of being ADHD. But he’s also one of the smartest, and funniest people I’ve ever met. He makes incredible jokes about being in a wheelchair. He has never once let his disability prevent him from being his best self despite never being able to walk.
4
u/aarakocra-druid 3d ago
Exactly!!! Disability is not a dirty word!! Life is always worth living!!
5
u/Pwacname 2d ago
Yes! , I actually found that word freeing, because realising that ADHD is a genuine, real disability (I was diagnosed as a child but only learned more about it as an adult) made it so much easier to stop hating myself, and to work with my brain instead of against it, and show some compassion for myself. Some things are harder for me, some things are easier, some things will never work as they do for others. That’s not a character flaw, it’s a fact of my life, and it’s done me a world of good to really understand that.
I am not exaggerating when I say that one of the biggest improvements to my mental health came from me applying the word disabled to myself
3
u/aarakocra-druid 2d ago
I did as well. Learning you're a swan and not a broken duck is an incredibly freeing experience. Sure, swans can't do some (or many) of the things ducks can, and we have to find different ways through things, but knowing we're swans makes that part so much easier.
3
u/AdIndependent7304 3d ago
"He has never once let his disability prevent him from being his best self". So disingenuous. People have low moments. People falter. Happy people spend time being sad, just like depressed people still laugh.
There is no way the person you are describing hasn't thought about what their life woul be like with working legs. They may have self-reflected and arrived at a place where they realized envy isn't serving them, but I bet they didn't start there. And why would they? I'd rather walk too. We all would.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but "Happiness is free and easy, you just need to change your perspective " is the sentiment I'm picking up.
To that I say: "Let people be as sad as they are. Help them if you want to, and if they'll let you. If you don't think its worth it, leave them alone. But don't discount their reality. Don't tell them to 'just' do anything. Because if it was that easy, they wouldn't need you to tell them."
1
u/royinraver 3d ago
No he hasn’t let his disability prevent him from being his best self. That’s super inspiring. Not to mention he’s had brain surgery, had to get one of his legs amputated, we were all very worried for him. Now he tells people he lost a foot (literally). This man has endured more than most and still cracks jokes about his condition. He’s a super hero in my book for going through so much and still have a good attitude. Does he get depressed? Yeah, so do I, so do you, so does every human in some shape form or function. To be depressed is to be human. Does he wish he could walk? Do the thing that most take for granted? Of course. As a DDR player, if I couldn’t use my legs anymore, I don’t know what I would do. But he persists. He stays positive, not happy, but positive. One of the most inspiring people on the planet impo.
3
u/Pwacname 2d ago
This might be nitpicky, but „Does he get depressed? […] so does every human in some shape form or function.“
That isn’t true. Depression is an illness, not just being sad, and it can be debilitating. I know the words are often treated as synonyms these days, like people thinking flu (a disease that can make you feel terrible for days or weeks and take weeks to recover even if your healthy, and a disease that kills people) and a cold are the same. Or people using migraine for „severe headache“, because a main symptom of many migraines is a severe headache and they don’t know better.
But while depression is common over an entire lifetime, by far not every human experiences depression.
1
u/royinraver 2d ago
To be human is to have brain chemical imbalance. Watch out for your friends who are always trying to stay positive, they’re often in the ones who are masking the biggest depressions.
1
u/Pwacname 7h ago
Love, I know what depression is like, both from all the wonderful psychoeducation I got from qualified therapists and from being severely depressed for most of my life. I’m doing very well, by now, because for the past few years, I’ve almost never wanted to die! Depression isn't just being sad. Depression is also rage or emotional numbness, it’s memory issues, it’s needing to keep my flat running but being unable to even get up, it’s dishes rotting in the sink, it’s not being able to eat, it’s not being able to sleep, and so on.
I also know about masking depression, because for quite a few years, the way you could Tell I was doing terribly was because I’d suddenly manage ALL the social stuff and all the extracurrivukars and so on. Until, you know, even that wasn’t possible anymore,
3
u/SundayGlory 2d ago
I wonder if people would get it more if it was put forward like wishing to a genie for better focus. The monkey paw curls kinda thing.
29
16
14
u/RubyTrigger 3d ago
this is my mom
11
4
u/woodwardian98 3d ago
Lmao, I was like "is this literally my dad?"
2
u/nicole-tesla 2d ago
Same but my dad has adhd too and he thinks everyone else has it too. So when others achieve things easily and I don't, he can't help but get disappointed in me
12
u/Acceptable-Market-52 3d ago edited 3d ago
Thanks to therapy I can now smile and continue the conversation in most directions amicably but before I would get so annoyed and get snarky and ask things like “Right but have you ever absolutely HAD TO get out of bed at 3:30am to restring 15 guitars and accidentally go to work 2 hours late and then realize in the parking lot it’s your day off?”
Most of the time their intentions aren’t to offend but sometimes I still shake my head
1
12
u/No-patrick-the-lid 3d ago
When I mentioned finally having the correct ADHD diagnosis and my friend immediately pipes in with "That's just a trauma response!"
Girl hasn't been to my house in like four months since that comment. Among others but that one bugged me. 😒
3
u/MetalProof 2d ago
I’m scared that I’m making everything up and that my suspected adhd is just a trauma response or something else🥲
2
u/No-patrick-the-lid 2d ago
It still wouldn't be made up though! It's still valid no matter what caused it.
2
u/MetalProof 2d ago
Yess that’s true ☺️. But if it’s not adhd and I made it up it means that I am seriously twisted in the head and am severely gaslighting myself 😵💫. Which would be scary because how can i trust myself in that case.
11
9
7
u/HappyMatt12345 ADHD 3d ago
It's not a matter of whether you experience the symptom, it's a matter of to what extent does the symptom you experience fuck with your ability to function as a human being.
3
u/Pwacname 2d ago
Exactky! There’s a damn reason „negatively impacting at least two major areas of life“ is necessary for a diagnosis (at least it was back when I was diagnosed)
6
5
u/StagDragon 3d ago
Oh don't worry. You meet some of us out here with childhood adhd and we'll give you a response like "i fucking knew it."
5
u/Huge-Opportunity-982 3d ago
This was my brothers response, I was surprised. How could I have not seen what apparently everyone else did? I felt embarrassed.
5
u/RustyR4m 3d ago
When I revealed my diagnosis to my friends, a few of them said “oh that makes sense” and that made me feel good.
5
4
u/Inevitable_Snap_0117 3d ago
I don’t get that one but I do get, “Have you tried writing things down?” Like, no Becky. I’ve only had this my whole life but I’ve never thought of that!
4
u/Jonny_Disco 3d ago
The need to not have to explain to my kids why "Daddy is going to jail on an assault charge" is the only thing keeping me from punching each one of these fuckers.
2
3
u/GangstahGastino ADHD 3d ago
"So your doctor too decided that you need a med that's really close to anfetamine in order for you to function on a day to day basis?"
"NO, NOT LIKE THAT."
4
u/YOUTUBEFREEKYOYO 3d ago
They say this about everything, being audhd, I most commonly hear it about autism
2
u/RustyR4m 3d ago
Weirdly enough, people seem to be more immediately accepting/understanding when I tell them I have ADHD rather than autism too. I get the response in the meme a lot more with autism than ADHD.
It may be my own experience but it’s strange to say the least.
2
4
u/HeeeresPilgrim 2d ago
I usually just point out that most people don't have it to the extent where it's a chronic problem.
4
u/freddie_myers 2d ago
"You don't need excuses. It is just your mind conjuring up diseases to hide your inadequacies" — Translated excerpt from "My conversations with my father"
5
4
u/dazed_succubus 2d ago
I really don't get this angle. "Were all a little adhd" people don't say that about anything else besides mental health.
Imagine if people went around saying this about idk food allergies? I'm allergic to pineapple "we're all a little allergic!" I mean sure technically I guess but that's actually not the same thing??
4
u/LM193 2d ago
This is how I feel about my anxiety disorder (and my ADHD too but anxiety especially). Everyone has some anxiety. NOT everyone has had severe anxiety dominating every little aspect of their lives since the day they were born.
Most neurotypicals unfortunately don't know the difference between tendencies and actual disorders, and they act like you're making excuses when you try to explain it to them.
3
3
3
3
u/DnBeyourself 3d ago
Yeah.... there's a lot of those out there. They'll usually downplay anything though. You could be crying about losing family and they'll just tell you about the time they lost family blah blahhh
3
u/Diremirebee 3d ago
Tbh, I do agree with “we all have a bit of ADHD” to an extent - same way you can be anxious sometimes but not have an anxiety disorder. Especially now that our attention spans as a whole are being battered by tech more and more, I feel like we’re gonna see more non-ADHD people with behaviours and problems that mimic it. Even if they don’t hit all the requirements of the DSM, they might benefit from this community and the advice ADHDers have to give. Mental health is complicated and usually a bit more complicated than strict goalposts.
But unfortunately most the time people hear things like this, the perceived intention is that they’re minimising the seriousness of the disorder. Which is definitely true a lot of the time. I like to think it might be a more well-intentioned attempt at sympathy more often than not. Mostly because I kind of like when people try to relate, cause hey, that’s the human experience. But it entirely depends on the person and if they know or are willing to learn that this disorder is pretty serious. And too many people still treat it like a joke, so I can’t fault anyone for assuming the first :(
3
2
u/TheCrystalDoll 3d ago
This cartoon is way too funny for life, it weakens me every time I see it and makes whatever the subject is funnier than it should be…
2
u/RustyR4m 3d ago
We’re a bunch of crepuscular (between diurnal and nocturnal) hunter gatherers humans that are stuck in a 9-5 farmer’s world.
It’s no wonder we seem fucked up.
2
2
u/tinfoilsheild 2d ago
People saying you should enjoy your ADHD because it might make you better at some things is like people saying you should enjoy having flippers instead of hands because it would make you better at swimming.
1
2
u/Special_Plenty4635 1d ago
I explain to them that the symptoms is something neurotypicals can experience too, but it is the severity of them that makes it adhd. And there are lots of undiagnosed folks, so if you really think you have it try taking a online test. If it shows signs contact your doctor. Usually they back off once you take them seriously, not wanting to get a actual diagnosis
2
u/braindoesntworklol 1d ago
I used to say that kinda stuff as a child and then I realized that I’m almost definitely autistic and that probably has something to do with me thinking that everyone has a little bit of ADHD lmao
2
u/ToxicFluffer 3d ago
Idk I don’t care for gatekeeping a disorder made up by some old white dudes. They don’t know shit about my communities anyway.
2
u/ROSCOEMAN 2d ago
It’s true though tbh. Anyone exposed to social media for prolonged times shows symptoms.
1
1
1
u/ChecknIN_ImChecknOUT 3d ago
"Perfect!! We can be thearpy buddies".. rolling my eyes so hard I can see my dysfunctional brain.
1
1
u/nebulousNarcissist 2d ago
What sucks is I've developed a vocal stim where I just say, "everyone has a little [insert disability here]". Usually dyslexia or color blindness cuz of my poor eyesight.
1
1
1
1
u/Andromedan_Cherri 23h ago
I absolutely love how people have been romanticizing, borderline fetishizing ADHD and autism as of the last several years. Love, as in, I fucking hate it.
1
1
1
u/Ok_Builder8723 13h ago
My mum told me the same thing but with autism. That conversation didn't lead anywhere...
1
u/SpicySPaxz 2d ago
Im diagnosed and have to use those sort of phrases against people i work with that say they have it but you can tell theyre just actually lazy or whatever it may be by nature. In a sense i think those annoying oversaid phrases are true but not in the way people think its applied.
2
u/Special_Plenty4635 1d ago
How can you really tell if someone is lazy or burned out or just tired of trying and failing. I mean, I have been called lazy before for not being motivated to try because I fail so much.
2
-5
u/AspiringAdonis 3d ago
Now show me all the “self-diagnosed” crowd. Making people with actual ADHD look bad because they want an excuse for their shitty behavior.
7
u/aarakocra-druid 3d ago
Bruh self diagnosis is entirely valid, especially when trying to get diagnosed as an adult is incredibly expensive and not necessarily covered by insurance
-4
u/AspiringAdonis 3d ago
Self diagnosis is entirely not valid, especially with something as nebulous as neurodivergence. Unless you are a trained medical professional, “I read it on the internet” is not a diagnosis.
8
u/aarakocra-druid 3d ago
Except it's not "I read it on the internet', it's usually "I spent years being misdiagnosed by doctors, ignored by teachers and utterly believing I was fundamentally broken because I'm not a textbook 8 year old boy" but I'm sure you know everything there is to know about it, don't you?
3
u/aarakocra-druid 3d ago
I saw your reply before it got deleted. Fyi, for me, they first diagnosed with adhd, then switched it to Nonverbal Learning Disorder and then just overarching Autism Spectrum Disorder when that diagnosis encompassed NLD. This all happened in elementary school, andI've had to figure out that the ADHD bit is in there on my own as an adult and set myself on the path to a formal diagnosis. Unfortunately that's been stalled by a number of emergency vet visits (I love my guinea pigs but they're Worrisome Little Beasts) that ate up my money.
So yeah, I'm pretty sure being pretty sure I have adhd is valid in this case. It's certainly let me find tools to help myself in the mean time, such as apps that send automatic reminders and extra caffeine on days where I'm going to have to remember a lot of different things.
Sometimes, people can know themselves better than professionals.
3
u/OkDragonfruit9026 3d ago
I went to a psychiatrist for something and he was like 90. He literally had DSM-III on his desk.
I’m sure he’s absolutely qualified to diagnose anything. /s
1
0
u/Stacato_ 1d ago
Guys. ADHD is really not all you’re making it out to be. It’s not something you worry about revealing as a diagnosis to your friends/family. Sure it sucks but it’s really low stakes. Some of yall are acting like your soldiers for having to deal with ADHD. Grow up.
453
u/[deleted] 3d ago
[deleted]