He's 2.5 and we just took him on the swings. By himself, without promoting, he said "Ready, set, go - wheeee!" And "Oh no!" When he fell off. He also sat on the swing all by himself. These were first and my husband and I just grinned so hard at each other.

Sigh. I have two of them. 4M and 5f. The constant repeating… the echolalia. The MFing SCRIPTING. Like I genuinely feel like I’m going To lose my shit if I hear one more episode of Bluey scripted by my kid. Sorry I just had to get that out. It’s annoying and I wish so badly for them to just have spontaneous speech:(

It's Autism Awareness month but for most of us (I think?).. it's just yet another month..

We all love and adore our children. I know it can be a struggle at times.
I tend to lurk here, but I read most posts and just wanted to give a big virtual HUG to all of you.

I know for myself I tend to feel a bit like Bruce Wayne in my life (i.e. no one at works knows what goes on back at home and as you all know.. A LOT GOES ON BACK AT HOME) When the other parents are lamenting about the diaper changes of their NT 14 month old or the curse words uttered by their 3 year old we politely nod in our Bruce Wayne suits and try to empathize, merely a few hours from returning home to dawn our cape to deal with the diaper changes in our 14 YEAR old, imagining the absolute joy we might feel if they uttered even a single word, even if it were a curse word.

Anyways, we aren't alone. Take care!

My 3 year old, level 2, is getting to the age where if someone I don’t know well asks about him (when he’s not with me) I either have to share that he’s autistic - or lie.

It makes me feel really awkward and guilty. I love him so much. I love to talk about him. I am not at all embarrassed to share that he’s autistic… but I also don’t want to share with every single person I meet. I just don’t want to have that conversation with everyone I encounter. So, recently, I’ve found myself lying when I don’t have the emotional energy for that exchange. It sucks. Hopefully some of you can relate? I don’t know that I’ve ever seen this discussed here.

I generally try to be as truthful as I can but keep things vague or exaggerate just a little to seem developmentally appropriate. It’s getting harder. Before I could just answer truthfully without inviting further questions. Now he really should be speaking more, sharing his opinions, talking about things he likes or dislikes etc… I don’t know so many things about him that I would if he were NT or lower support needs. I don’t know what his favorite color is or favorite food or things he’d like to do or how feels about many things. I just don’t know. So, occasionally I lie to avoid having to explain which sucks. He’s an amazing little guy. He’s so smart and so sweet and silly. He deserves to be bragged about to anyone and everyone who asks but sometimes… I just can’t. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like the right person or moment to share.

Anyway, long story short, I didn’t anticipate this situation when he was first diagnosed. It’s a really lonely and sad feeling. It’s like living with a secret identity. It sucks. I don’t want to have to choose between having this awkward, vulnerable exchange with a stranger or feeling like I’m dishonoring my child.

Almost 4yo, minimally verbal, strongly prefers being by herself and gets upset often if her siblings are even in the same room. I was planning a bday party for her at our house in a couple of months, and had planned to invite her daycare classmates. Only the more I am thinking of it, I wonder if she will actually enjoy this or if she will runaway to the comfort of her bedroom the entire time? But at the same time it feels wrong not to plan something like this. Any thoughts?

There are a lot of posts like this; I read them all the time and take the advice given to others in the comments. Sigh.

My son is 4.5, L3 bordering on L2. He's verbal, but very hard to understand. Tons of energy. School during, OT and speech therapy every week.

He's a sweet boy, but goes through phases of being very frustrated, hyper, angry, aggressive. He struggles a lot with boundaries and impulse control. He has the desire to listen and be 'good', but when he gets in that mode, it's like Dr Jekyll / MR Hyde.

He targets me, mom, the most. Nothing severe, but he'll throw stuff, hit and kick me, scream, chase the cats (he knows it's a rule to leave them alone).

Some of the things that trigger this behavior are the obvious, like being hungry or tired, but also being told to stop doing something or that he's being naughty - he'll just amp it up.

We try the Gentle Parenting tactics - "it makes me sad when you hit"; "you can't hurt people". Bla bla. He just doesn't care when he's in that mode. Sometimes he'll feel a little bad and say sorry, but usually he's made to do so.

I'm SO SICK of having to be kicked and hit in the face while asking gently that he stops. We've tried being firm, raised voices, restraining him, time outs, explaining empathy, etc.

There's gotta be something more effective than just taking it to the face. Very triggering for me as well, because I've been in abusive relationships.

My son is amazing in so many ways and I love him beyond words. Just depleted as fuck right now. Help.

Has anyone had anything that worked successfully in stopping this behavior ?

At first it began on the floor when upset. I typically know those triggers and signs to watch for before it happens.

Now it’s like he’s doing it out of pure boredom on walls. I honestly don’t know what the trigger is to stop or redirect. I think it may be a pressure thing or wanting pressure, I just don’t know. I keep near him so I’m able to stop it pretty quickly but it’s coming out of the blue. Examples from JUST today would be:

On our way to the kitchen to refill his cup, he was humming a nursery rhyme while walking with me and stopped to bang his head on the wall.

He has a toddler slide and the stairs are near the wall, he was sliding over and over but then slid down, ran (towards the stairs), but instead of climbing up he turned around and starting banging his head on the wall.

Got him out of the bath tub, dried him off, carried him and got him dressed, he jumped up laughing and ran straight to the wall.

Layed him in bed, he was playing with his stuffed animal then jumped up and stuck his hands on the wall- I immediately grabbed him but that’s definitely what he was going for.

I do let him bang his head on our couch/recliner/beds where it is safe to do so. We are targeting this in therapy. I just ordered a one inch foam toddler “helmet” that’s suppose to help with falls so I’m hoping that will help soften any hits before I can get to him. It’s to the point he’s sleeping with me now and typically our safe room is his room but I’m scared to even let him in there alone. I don’t want to do dishes/laundry/shower without someone being right there with him. He doesn’t cry while doing it, but he hits full force.

Has anyone experienced this? Did ANYTHING help? I’m also going to post this in some other subs to see if there’s anyone that may have a miracle 😭

I've been forced into this life and I want to KMS every day. Nobody can tell me not to drink. I'm a great caretaker and have 50/50 custody. When I don't have them I drink until I can't feel, or talk really. When I do, they are in good hands until I'm not around anymore

Tonight has been one of the greatest nights I have had being a father to my son. My son is lvl 2, he is 7 and tonight for the first time in his life he came up to me and gave me a big hug and said I love you daddy. This kid had this grown man balling. He has progressed so well this year and I am so proud of him. He started his talking journey about a year and a half ago.

Today our neighbor across the street had a birthday party for their child who turned 4. There are a few families on our street with kids around the same age (2-5 years old). They invited the other kids on the block but not ours. My son is 5 and has moderate support needs. He didn’t seem to notice but it still felt, well, really shitty. We get along fine with those neighbors (we say hi, at the holidays sometimes we’ll drop off goodies for each other). It feels like my son wasn’t invited because he’s autistic. Yes, he acts differently. He sometimes stims by tapping on things. Sometimes he yelps when he’s excited. But he’s a happy kid overall and likes being around others. I don’t want pitty invites to things, but if you’re going to involve the other kids around the same age on our block, would it kill you to include my kid too? At this age, it feels weird leaving kids out.

Maybe I would feel less salty about the situation if I didn’t already feel isolated as a parent in this situation. I feel like our world keeps shrinking to a smaller and smaller size. I’m trying to build my village, but haven’t made much progress yet.

Vent over, thanks for reading.

My son and I listen to a lot of SpongeBob songs. Today we were walking in the park and I sang "when big Larry came 'round just to put him down" and my son took it away and sang the rest of the song. Using mostly word approximations but he carried the tune, kept the rhythm and whole structure of the song.

I'm so proud. He's struggled with speech his whole life. He's almost 4 and barely spoke at all 6 months ago.

Does anyone else have mixed feelings about Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month?

On the one hand, I’m glad to raise awareness, but on the other hand, my son’s autism is so severe and nonverbal, I kind of hate it. It also looks like my second will also be nonverbal, and that is devastating.

The self harm, harming others, destroying property, screaming, lack of danger awareness, severe developmental delays, sleep deprivation, INSANE waste of money on therapies that did nothing or very little, high cost of respite, stress and depression-How can I “celebrate” any of this???

Hi; I have a ten year old boy ("lvl 1") so they say.. on the spectrum.

He's a good eater, but as I'm sure with many of your children, he has a ton of four (quite dull) meals..butter pasta/raviolis/ cheeseburger,quesadilla/grill cheese hot dog.

That's basically it. He won't try a lot of new things but he has been opening up more. And he is also interested in healthier eating.

What do you find works ? He loves raw vegetables, but no salads, so those are easy but I want to make food more fun

My 11 year old son has L3 autism and very limited speech. He's self-harming so much right now. It's to the point that his arms, forehead, and legs are covered in bruises. He started hitting/throwing things at me. I can deal with all that, but he attacked his teacher on Friday. He punched her in the face and when she walked away he ran after her and punched her in the back of her head. He's NEVER hit anyone but himself and me when he gets frustrated enough. This all started in about September of last year. I don't know what to do. He's on the ABA wait list in our county. His doctor prescribed him Risperidone last month. I haven't had the courage to give it to him yet. Have any of you guys had experience with it? Did it help?

Perhaps a weird question but how do we tell people my son has autism. He the best guy ever and we are very proud of our 7 year old. We have been open with him and his sibling about his diagnosis and want him to be proud of his unique brain. That being said we recently when to an inclusivity event and my husband said to another mom ( after she asked), “he’s our amazing boy, he’s our autistic son” her reaction was aggressive and she told us that incredibly offensive but didn’t correct us. Our whole world is our kids and my husband is very very proud of our son. In no way do we want to be offensive but how do we say it? *it’s also important to note that my husband recently late diagnosed autism and I have ADHD.

For two straight days my daughter who will be 4 in August has been constantly crying throughout the day and screaming. She takes breaks here and there, but for the most part it’s been an all day everyday nightmare. She’s done this in the past but lately it’s getting worse. I’m at a loss here. This morning I took her to the Children’s hospital to make sure she was fine, check her ears, literally the Dr. tickled her throughout her body (and doc said no signs of pain or ear infection), and no fever. He just attributed this behavior to her autism. I thought they would have at least taken her blood and check for something ANYTHING. My child is completely non verbal. She’s going to ot and speech twice a week. In June we take her for an evaluation with a child psychiatrist. It was a year and a half wait to get in. I just need any advice at this point that you think may help, thank you in advance.

Making this post as I am genuinely confused. I have never grown up around children and she is my first, so it is difficult to compare what is typical vs a red flag.

My daughter is currently 18 months old.

As a newborn she was extremely colicky (or so we thought). She cried hysterically, was difficult to soothe. Was always fussy about feeding, breastfed for the first 7 months then formula fed. She HATED the car (and still does). She was actually quite ahead with meeting her milestones, especially physically, rolling by 3-4 months, crawling a few months after that etc.

Through time and now as an 18 month old she is very bright. She is very social, understands when a child is younger than her (childcare educators claim she like to help feed the smaller babies their bottles or give them their dummy). She imitates actions and dance moves, is able to imaginary play (using her tea set she will pretend drink and pour herself more tea). She is empathetic and can tell when I am sad (will pretend to cry and she will console me). She can say approx 20 words however only really uses 2-3 unprompted like daddy or hi - she will say the others on command. However there are lots of things she does that alarm me and I don’t know if I am reading into them too much.

She: - walks on tippy toes a lot and has done this since the day she started walking approx 10 months. - she becomes fixated on tiny things like a piece of dirt on the floor or a grain of rice and will give it to me to get rid of. If I tell her it’s okay to leave it she doesn’t let the idea go and will insist on picking it up. - her crying and tantrums are often still hysterical and take over 20-30 minutes to calm down. - she cannot sit still EVER! Becomes bored of games very quickly. - likes rocks and leaves. When we go for a walk she will insist on holding a leaf or rock for the entire walk. - recently started running with her arms straight behind her back, kind of like a plane? - often refuses to eat and then after a lot of persistence from me she will suddenly decides she is ok with the food. - doesn’t like food on her hands and will freeze if she gets some on herself asking me to get it off.

I’m sure there are more that I can’t recall at the moment. Anyway, I was hoping for some guidance on whether any of these things are worrying and whether I should have her seen by someone?

At childcare the educators haven’t noticed anything concerning however I do know it is often not as noticeable/obvious in girls?

Sorry for the long post!

My daughter is 2.5 she is in ot and st, we have no diagnosis yet. But one of the things she really struggles with is ANY new place or crowded space (restaurant, relative's house we don't see often, gas stations, businesses) literally every where it's very stressful for her and I. I was wondering if anyone else has been through this? Help?

My baby is starting aba therapy tomorrow. I am so so nervous and so sad, honestly. I know it's going to be great for her..but not being with her is killing me. I have major trust issues. 😭😭 I just pulled in here and lost it because I have to go get her lunch box and stuff for lunch..

My child (12m) is very into cologne and his hair right now.

I don't mind that he's deep into hygene but the kid has hundreds of dollars in scents; makes us listen listen to him talk about the ones he has, the ones he wants. Tries to get me to buy cheap cologne from scammy sites. Sprays it where he doesn't need it (like before bed)

He drags a mirror around the house and sprays down his hair with water about 15 times/day. It's a little compulsive.

Today it's very important to get to a store to look at scents. I really don't enjoy taking him to the store. He's also doing everything he can to get money, which is annoying because it's my money. (Although he will take soccer ref training and the babysitting course; he might do mothers helper class or minecraft lessons in the summer)

Nit a big problem, just annoying

My son is 6 and profoundly autistic. Dentistry has been a struggle and I noticed some dark spots late last year. A few trips to the dentist to get him used to it went well and we were then referred to a paediatric dentist in Feb who used a sealant on two of his back teeth that seemed to be the solution without sedation. Tonight while brushing I noticed that they have both fallen out and a sizeable piece of both teeth have decayed away. I’m so upset and angry at myself for letting this happen. It’s been hard to brush his teeth for so long and he’s a big grinder too but I have tried my best, they don’t seem to be causing him pain and I’m calling the dentist first thing but just feeling incredibly low now and a complete failure to him.

When our AuDHD/Epileptic daughter encounters loud sounds like hand dryers in public restrooms, she reacts with immediate distress—covering her ears and running out. This makes us wonder: is it the sensory input itself that triggers her anxiety, or does her baseline level of anxiety make her more sensitive to these sounds? On particularly exhausting days, this reaction seems even more pronounced. I’d love to hear your thoughts on whether one factor drives the others or if they all interact in a complex loop. Thank you.

My soon to be 5 year old generally has issues with questions. Some he can answer such as "Do you want to Pee?" He'll immediately say no. Otherwise if you ask him a new question his default answer is just yes, even if it makes no sense. "are you a fish?" "yes"

Overall he's level 2 autistic and only speaks if he needs something, like food.

What advice would you give me to help him understand what i'm asking?

My kiddo (7yo) twisted his ankle stepping off a mat in the gym at ABA. They called me and said he wanted to come home. They said he had a lot of pain at first, but they said they thought it was probably a sprain. He couldn’t really out weight on it, and woke up in so much pain in middle of the night I took him to urgent care the next morning and an xray confirmed a small fracture.

Just wanted to vent. This year has been rough. Now we get to add a pediatric ortho to his care team after dealing with pediatric gastro, endo, and a developmental pediatrician so far this year. Just a lot to deal with on top of his other challenges.

I asked if I need to sign an incident or accident report and the BCBA said she’d get me a copy, but I haven’t seen it yet.

He’s dealt with some bullying at school and now having to sit out due to the walking boot just further isolates him. And we really have been trying to get him more exercise and movement and now this sets him back. Sorry for the vent. Frustrating.

Sorry for the vent

TLDR: decided it's healthiest for me to not share personal details about our kids with family who don't acknowledge their special/high needs

Basically, had a big family brunch in a very crowded and loud public restaurant and both twins were stunned with everything happening. They rocked/stimmed for a short time then resumed being distracted by the million things happening in front of them.

My sister in law said "they're being so calm and good in their seats, I don't know what you mean about them being a handful". It caught me off guard and I felt my blood pressure skyrocket remembering all of the invalidation I got from family who visited once, maybe twice for less than 45 minutes, and lectured me on needing to suck it up like "the rest of us did".

So yeah, my emotions got strong and I reminded her about how she doesn't see what life is like 24/7 at home, and how she have a mom, sister, and nanny to help when her kids were little (just to remind of context since my Mom is dead, sister lives two hours away, and SIL is rightfully busy with her own family of three to offer help). She told me it's not a competition and I said, of course it's not, but I don't feel good about our experience being dismissed because you see them sitting quietly for less than an hour in a restaurant with our entire family entertaining them.

She got pissed and walked away because I'm the asshole I guess. Similar experience with my own sister last week. Personal family info is now dedicated to my two best friends rather than my two closest immediate family members. Which makes me sad, but will make me crazy if I choose otherwise. Cut off. Cordial texts, sure. Information about my Autistic twins (which they roll their eyes at as not being a real diagnosis unless the kid is basically non-functioning in any capacity) is silenced.

I don't have the bandwidth for increased invalidation and passive aggressive dismissiveness.