r/LinkedInLunatics 1d ago

Now we feast!

Post image
118 Upvotes

115 comments sorted by

138

u/EskimoBrother1975 1d ago

The one common thread in all these posts is, what makes these people think we give a fuck?

17

u/juiceboxedhero 1d ago

Probably works so much he has no friends except the people fellating him in the comments on LinkedIn.

3

u/OkTemperature8080 22h ago

also probably doesn’t work at all

38

u/V1c1ousCycles 1d ago

Mental illness.

22

u/retrospects 1d ago

The vapid lack of self awareness.

4

u/Lue33 1d ago

That is what I keep calling this! Exactly!

2

u/SmokeMcgoats 1d ago

I'm 😂 because I say this all the time

7

u/NoelChompsky 1d ago

I also think being a bit of a dickhead is a pretty common thread too. People having preferences about eating meat is fair enough but veganism is good for the collective. What the fuck does he coach?

3

u/SelenaMeyers2024 1d ago

I just had coke zero... I thought water for health but it wasn't sparkling... And I hate boring flat water unless I'm working out.

Are you telling me that aforementioned gem of a story shouldnt be posted to all my former coworkers, bosses and school alumnis?

1

u/harpajeff 1d ago

Well, I for one was enthralled by your account, it was a real treat. The detail about Coke Zero was such a plot twist - a real cliffhanger. I can't wait for your next instalment. I have so many questions: bottled or from the fountain? What brand? Evian maybe? Or a more prosaic, native variety like Buxton?

If only my former colleagues and alumni had the wherewithal to write with such panache about their daily soft beverage habits. Still, that doesn't matter, as your series is quickly becoming a classic of the genre. May it long continue.

79

u/Ragverdxtine 1d ago

Why are these people so obsessed with vegans

24

u/Fuzzy_Jaguar_1339 1d ago

There's some good social science on this actually. Vegetarian and vegan diets can make others feel like their morals are being impugned even when they aren't. Iooked this up long ago (vegetarian for 20 years now) so I've lost specific links, but it's a real social science thing.

6

u/Ragverdxtine 1d ago

That makes sense! Otherwise I really can’t comprehend why someone would feel the need to mention veganism in this context (and I say that as as a non-vegan)

3

u/Mercuryshottoo 1d ago

Yeah, it's the same reason bigots get mad when people behave kindly and empathetically (whoops I mean when they "virtue signal")

35

u/VmVarga1 1d ago

Because eating dead animals you purchase from the grocery store makes you alpha. Duh

37

u/gilgamesh-uruk 1d ago

My US immigrant experience was pretty good save for the fact that every other person thought they were helping me discover the fucking elixer of life in the form of a burger or offering me bacon and telling me I'm missing out.

Occasionally I'd encounter the annoying ones who'd tell me vegetarian food is boring and that I was dumb for not "assimilating". Lolwut Indian vegetarian food is the best damn vegetarian food periodt.

5

u/han_tex 1d ago

Lolwut Indian vegetarian food is the best damn vegetarian food periodt.

FTFY

The thing about vegetarian and vegan food is, all the spices you can cook with work on vegetables, too! And in some ways, you have to be more creative with flavorings, because you don't get the built-in flavor boost of the fat that most meats have.

I'm not vegetarian/vegan, but I eat that way about half the year for Lent and other fasting days, and I have found that there are so many great vegetarian dishes out there. Veggies, lentils, beans, etc. absorb spices so well that you can pack tons of flavor into a dish.

5

u/bigbadbyte 1d ago

Most americans think vegetarian and vegan food is kale bowls from a place called "love for all animals" cafe served by a dude with a pony tail and a woman with hair arm pits. If I want vegetarian or vegan food, i don't search vegetarian/vegan, I search for a good indian place.

2

u/theglobalnomad 1d ago

Indian cuisine has so many dishes where meat isn't the star of the show, and you might not even notice its absence at all.

And now I'm hungry for some :/

2

u/Lue33 1d ago

Let me tell you, I haven't been able to drive commercially due to high BP readings. So, I was told by my Examiner to watch what I eat. Ever since then, it is has been narcs like whoever thought the LinkedIn post meant anything other than their ego.

Let them be, "Hangry". It's like you get shamed for not recklessly spending. You could very well prepare boneless chicken tenders on a George Foreman Grill, with dash seasoning. To me it tastes just like you ordered out. It feels like you have to keep eating right a secret...

6

u/Notapartyhobo 1d ago

Because they're dickheads and bullies.

6

u/noveldaredevil 1d ago

yeah, it's weird. vegans are living rent free in this man's mind.

8

u/jesuspoopmonster 1d ago

When people dont actually have anything interesting about themselves they will sometimes just make up traits to try to fake it. When doing this its smart to pick something lots of other people pick. For some people its pretending to have an opinion on font or pretending to be upset people from the USA are called Americans. A common one is being pro meat and if you are pro meat naturally yo have to be against not eating meat because its less fun without a conflict

4

u/palimpcest 1d ago

People with no personality or identity shop for readymade personalities/identities because it’s easier than forming their own.

It’s become much more common than it used to be thanks to social media.

-2

u/RealAlePint 1d ago

I get being annoyed with new Vegans who tell you they’re Vegan 20 times an hour, but it isn’t worth a LinkedIn post

37

u/julias-winston 1d ago

"I eat meat!" is such a weird flex.

I eat meat too, but it's not a core feature of my personality.

9

u/TerrapinMagus 1d ago

You know, with the direction of the economy declaring that you eat meat might actually become a financial flex soon enough lol

1

u/SparkleKittyMeowMeow 1d ago

Right? Like even as a meat-eater, the photo that they used is repulsive simply because of the context in which they used it.

18

u/Notapartyhobo 1d ago

"Fitness, Food and Books"

Books... sure, bud.

Sure.

15

u/han_tex 1d ago

The books are:

  • Paleo cookbook(s)
  • The Art of the Deal
  • Tom Clancy and/or John Grisham novel
  • An unopened copy of The Art of War

3

u/LivingAmazing7815 1d ago

Hahaha not the unopened copy. Don’t forget How to Win Friends and Influence People.

1

u/cubicle_adventurer 5h ago

Don’t forget a well read copy of Marcus Aurelius!

-1

u/Hasbeast 1d ago

I decided out of morbid curiosity to read a Grisham novel. Absolutely terrible stuff.

18

u/RainDownAndDestroyMe 1d ago

It's anecdotal, but the most annoying people I've met when it comes to veganism are the people that constantly bitch about other people being vegans. I've not met a single vegan that's made it their personality, but I've met many people that make meat eating and hating on vegans their entire personality. I just don't get it.

And no, I'm not vegan.

15

u/MrRoryBreaker_98 1d ago

✅Vegan mockery

15

u/zjm555 1d ago

Everyone has worked with one of these guys. The gym rat whose whole personality is that he LoOoVeS bacon, his whole skillset seems to just be self-aggrandizement and gladhanding, and yet somehow he has been elevated into a high-paid position he's utterly unsuited for with some fancy title like Director of Operational Strategy. He's a net drag on the company, but the CEO loves him and thinks he's critical to success.

2

u/tetsu-o 1d ago

never met people like this. where do they work?

4

u/zjm555 1d ago

They're everywhere in tech, specifically in managerial positions.

3

u/Picklesadog 1d ago

Lol no they aren't.

Tech isn't just startup software bros.

2

u/dovaahkiin_snowwhite 1d ago

I had someone in mind when the post came up and with every word in your comment that image solidified lol. Being a nice suck-up to higher ups is such a hack if you're not competent. Even if you're generally a dick otherwise.

5

u/uneducatedexpert Insignificant Bitch 1d ago

Those who can't do it, coach it.

7

u/simplethingsoflife 1d ago

As a guitarist when I see someone bragging about practicing guitar I know they really didn’t practice and are just posing for clout. Real guitarists just talk about all the money we’ve spent on gear we know we don’t need but try to justify it anyways.

2

u/UnluckyFriedChicken 1d ago

Was thinking the same thing, it's done to show they have a hobby away from the gym and imply they have some sort of depth as a person.

No Nick, you noodling for 20 minutes isn't practice.

10

u/AngryTrooper09 1d ago

Rent. Free.

4

u/Formal-Hospital-8523 Narcissistic Lunatic 1d ago

This should be on Twitter or Facebook. What is wrong with these people?

5

u/Cid_demifiend 1d ago

Vegans: exists

Lunatics: I take that as an insult.

1

u/Comme-des-Farcons 1h ago

Yep, came here to say this.

4

u/COVID19Blues 1d ago

I EAT MEAT! hasn’t really been a flex for about 2,000,000 years. It was so easy that cavemen did it🤷🏻‍♂️

9

u/FuzzyImportance204 1d ago

It's always these 20-somethings who have never struggled a day in their lives who decide they're qualified to "coach" others.

1

u/Lue33 1d ago

Haha! Be careful now! If you don't take their, "advice", they come at your life. Last night I had a guard lady on duty for a naval base tell me, I can't be driving my personal vehicle on a Commercial driver's license. I was just dropping off an order for Grubhub, and wasn't even going on base. She said it wasn't a real driver's license which puzzled me. All of these other places that took my license as a form of ID, had no problem until this hard pus last night. All she had to do was identify me, and just let me turn around.

Girl talking to me like she knew better. Pissed me off to no end...

3

u/mmelectronic 1d ago

Guitar Practiced ✅ LOL what a dork

2

u/NotoriousMFT 1d ago

I don’t know how many guitar players we have here, but this guy definitely has a more expensive rig setup than he would ever need to just play minor pentatonic scales in his office

2

u/Drollapalooza 1d ago

The LinkedIn jerk, steak jerk, fitness jerk and guitar jerk communities overlapping in a single post

2

u/OkAlternative2713 1d ago

Enjoy heart disease

2

u/disharmony-hellride 1d ago

"A Simpleton's Guide to the Universe"

2

u/hanimal16 Insignificant Bitch 1d ago

“I respect you, but you’re wrong.” That’s not how that works lol

2

u/ProfAsmani 1d ago

Very likely his ex girlfriend who dumped him is vegetarian. Its always about something else.

2

u/youthzero 23h ago

He finished it off with a AI generated steak. #gohardforB2B

2

u/RobertRoyal82 23h ago

Soo many coaches

2

u/TheMikeDee 19h ago

"Triggered some libs, lol"

2

u/alex_jackman 14h ago

Stop being obsessed with vegans and cook your meat it’s fucking alive!!!

2

u/Ops31337 13h ago

After satisfying his meed to show us how he's such a man. I hope he leaves some pussy for the rest of us.

2

u/LateRemote7287 13h ago

the unga bunga cave woman part of my brain looks at this picture and goes, "that looks good". the modern, well-dressed ape part of my brain goes, "ew, that was a living thing".

2

u/Tormund_is_a_Pacer 12h ago

Ladies did you catch this? He works out and plays guitar.

2

u/SpoofyJ 5h ago

Why can’t they just say “I like eating meat” without bringing up vegans?

2

u/texashilo 1d ago

I've heard one vegan in my life talk about how great being a vegan is. How many meat and dairy eaters have I heard talk about how insufferable vegans are? A lot more than one. Just chill, dudes.

3

u/Artistic_Bridge794 1d ago

For real! I hear way more people like this bragging about vegans being stupid than I hear vegans and vegetarians bragging about not eating meat

2

u/tetsu-o 1d ago

cook your meat before feasting 🤢

11

u/FuzzyImportance204 1d ago

The dude posting may be a twat, but that is a perfectly cooked medium rare and I will die on that hill

2

u/Nobody7713 1d ago

Yeah I will say that steak looks great even if the guy posting it’s a dick.

7

u/_Zso 1d ago

It's perfectly cooked you heathen

3

u/Picklesadog 1d ago

You need some ketchup with your steak?

1

u/dflan01 1d ago

✅ Douche bagged

1

u/pressured_at_19 1d ago

Blud made Linkedin his Facebook feed.

1

u/growabrain-- 1d ago

"NOW WE FEAST!" is a viking sentence after winning an epic battle. We can't let the incels take it

1

u/sqb3112 1d ago

What could this fool coach someone on? He looks like he might be late 20’s. Youth soccer is all the coaching he needs to do.

1

u/mutant6399 1d ago

Why is this on LinkedIn? It's a Facebook or Instagram post.

1

u/t3lnet 1d ago

Gotta get that guitar practice in and on display for the ladies (or gentleman, no judgement) to know what’s up

1

u/CrisCathPod 1d ago

"Man eats 2 oz of beef."

What it taught me about B2B sales

1

u/morrighaan 1d ago

GYM TAN LAUNDRY

1

u/IWasSayingBoourner 1d ago

I went to high school with this guy. He was an insufferable twat then, too. 

1

u/Lue33 1d ago

It feels just like this post when you think about the Nintendo Switch. You only ever see what your, "Friends", are playing, what games they played, and for how long.

1

u/Fan_of_Clio 1d ago

FinksIn has just become FacePlant pretending to be working centric

1

u/EmptyBrook 1d ago

Like what the hell does this have to do with business or his career?

1

u/Jelly_Jess_NW 1d ago

LinkedIn is so weird……

1

u/Low_Control_623 1d ago

Nobody cares nick. Literally nobody.

1

u/skisandpoles 1d ago

I read that as ‘clients poached’.

1

u/FrisianDude 1d ago

man it's posts like these that completely ruined the winky face emoji

1

u/DeiAlKaz 1d ago

Look, I like meat too, but this isn’t a flex. Let people live their lives when they ain’t hurting you in any Goddamn way.

And to put it on LI in…what a fucking tool…

1

u/zenpop 1d ago

Smoot = What’s in a name?

1

u/altoona_sprock 1d ago

I'm not a vegan. But I can enjoy eating meat without belittling those who don't.

1

u/The84thWolf 1d ago

I respect this man’s decision to eat raw meat, I just think it’s a bad decision

1

u/Vaddian 1d ago

Carnivore level: unlocked Time to stake my claim

1

u/_extra_medium_ 22h ago

Clients coached. Who the fuck pays for this shit.

1

u/Imaginary-Tap-6655 21h ago

Oh, suuuuure, when a cow eats grass, it's the best thing ever, but when I do it, I'm a stupid vegan....whateverrr!!!!1!

1

u/mdhugh859 15h ago edited 15h ago

I deactivated my Linkedin about a year ago and this is a perfect example of why. What the hell does your meal choice have to do with professional networking? It would be hilarious, if people started sharing Reddit post links to the LinkedIn posts that are being cited here. Hell, that would be a good reason to reactivate my account. 😅

1

u/Ananonymousanemone22 11h ago

The "Guitar practiced" checkmark seems like my 10 year old made a list for the day and threw some random "wins" in.

1

u/Capital_Historian685 3h ago

Not that's a boring post.

1

u/redooffhealer 1d ago

Man this looks absolutely raw and disgusting 🤢. How tf y'all eat this shit?

1

u/blaghed 1d ago

I mean... That looks pretty good to me 🤤 Just don't get why that dude has to "pwn" someone in order to enjoy it.
Change the message to "workout = reward" or something like that and I'd be behind it, yum!

1

u/Mercuryshottoo 1d ago

I don't understand people who put in so much effort to build their muscles, but don't see a problem with killing animals to eat their muscles. It's pretty messed up

0

u/MeatyUnic0rn 1d ago

you know I'm 10+ years vegan/vegetarian and a few weeks ago curiosity struck me and i tired some meat in a restaurant from a friend. Y'all are way overhyping meat. I mean it was good but don't miss it at all. what i miss is good fish.

-1

u/_Zso 1d ago

That's a great looking steak

0

u/DiligentlySpent 1d ago

That photo makes it harder to hate him, the steak looks amazing. However, still a d bag in every possible way, right down to the winky face.

0

u/Mayor_Puppington 1d ago

My man turned what could've been a simple post of a good looking steak (that still doesn't belong on LinkedIn, but whatever) into cringe.

0

u/DavidJonnsJewellery 1d ago

Prefer lamb chops myself.

0

u/Dommylover42069 4h ago

This probably the most sane thing ever posted to LinkedIn.

Just look at how juicy that steak is.

-1

u/glownut 1d ago

Frankly I don't care what anyone else chooses to eat because that's weird- that said, that's a fine looking steak!

-1

u/MediocrePrinciple 1d ago

I mean out of all the lunacy posted here this is pretty mild tbh

-1

u/Choc0latina 1d ago

Cow is still mooing