r/Unexpected • u/malcolmanan • 1d ago

ApplePay/Google Wallet have been real quite since this tech dropped NSFW

[removed] — view removed post

2.5k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

55 comments sorted by

•

u/UnExplanationBot 1d ago

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

Thinking it's a random video where a guy is playing with his fleshlight but he's getting the money out of it for the cashier.

Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

365

u/Dykidnnid 1d ago

"I got the idea from my wife!"

39

u/DangDingleGuy 22h ago

This just sent me into a fucking laughing fit. I know this is super disrespectful to the cashier but holy fuck this video is funny

184

u/KnifeFightAcademy 1d ago

"Relax, dude!.... it's just the tip"

107

u/Sorin_Beleren 1d ago

His tiny headshake is sending me. That poor guy.

462

u/GailynStarfire 1d ago edited 1d ago

As a cashier, if someone tries to pay out of their fleshlight, I'm telling them to get the fuck out of my store. 

I don't care if it gets me fired, I'm not taking your fucking seed money.

320

u/cainhurstcat 1d ago

But it cums with love

73

u/Dadittude182 1d ago

Fucker. You nearly made me shit myself!

19

u/cainhurstcat 1d ago

Some call it Caviar and pay loads lots for it

1

u/Earthhing 23h ago

Oiye ohyuuooo....

48

u/UnacceptableOrgasm 1d ago

This sounds reasonable to me. Blood money is one thing, but cum money is a whole other deal.

11

u/nextalpha 23h ago

Did anyone else see the lube dripping out?

9

u/Diz7 21h ago

Hope that's all it was.

7

u/HalfSoul30 23h ago

Hell, i almost did this with boob bills. I settled for making an obvious and exaggerated disgusted look.

6

u/MondoDuke2877 23h ago

You mean the Brallette?

1

u/true-flame-master 23h ago

At least let them get it all out and then tell them to leave. Remember to ask them to clean up first

92

u/PHANTOM________ 1d ago

The sound effects are what sells me on this. People really have no clue that this is the next big thing.

4

u/Neat0_HS 21h ago

Oh god I watched it on mute at first. The squelching...

34

u/Nachoboi555 1d ago

talk about moneyshots

23

u/the_bligg 1d ago

Social media... Making shitty jobs even shittier thanks to internet clout seeking cockheads.

17

u/420printer 1d ago

Here's yer f@#kin' money

16

u/litboyfrommalaysia 1d ago

Why would they do this to Jerma

7

u/Thatweirdguy_Twig 22h ago

Must've broke out again

11

u/Jolly-Feature-6618 1d ago

a wank bank

24

u/LowNefariousness6541 1d ago

I will be doing this now 😁 edit, oh just realised I don't have one..

27

u/HalfSoul30 1d ago

You have the perfect, most believable excuse to buy one now.

6

u/dimechimes 23h ago

Dude just wants to do his job.

6

u/Dangerous-Leek-966 23h ago

Nah bro I said no special sauce!

4

u/etriuswimbleton 1d ago

DAMN! Whats the JAV Code?

4

u/LetterBoxSnatch 1d ago

"We've already had an early round of seed funding!"

7

u/huskeypm 1d ago

$20 is $20

2

u/Embarrassed_Diet_386 1d ago

Your mom calls her mitt, her wet wallet

2

u/bschnitty 23h ago

Yep, real quite.

2

u/TheRealKevin24 23h ago

While this video is probably staged, this is your daily reminder to not use minimum wage service workers as your unpaid actors for your dumb "prank" videos.

2

u/Flying_Spaghetti_ 21h ago

Because no one else posted it here is the source: https://youtu.be/RrATyIJnNPM?si=cACAMn9-PWoh11FY

1

u/TildaTinker 1d ago

Counting coins on the counter of the 7/11

From a quarter past six 'til a quarter to seven

The manager, Bevin, starts to abuse me

Hey man, I just want some Muesli

1

u/Kidafroo 1d ago

As a good employee, I would have assisted, couple of fingers won't hurt

1

u/not_Staz 1d ago

Pay with the real one instead, geesh

1

u/Necessary_Advice_795 23h ago

I think my ex wife does the same. My money had to disappear somewhere.

1

u/hareofthewolf505 23h ago

This should be on r/southpark

1

u/exorania 23h ago

This could be a game-changer! Wonder how they'll respond to stay competitive.

1

u/BowsersMuskyBallsack 22h ago

Ok, so what's stopping the shopkeeper from pulling the change he keeps up his ass out, and handing his ass-change that reeks of ass back to the guy?

1

u/fcuk_yu 22h ago

ummm...what's that?

1

u/lumine99 21h ago

Truly pocket pussy

1

u/Subaneki 21h ago

It’s his meat wallet

1

u/FireMammoth 21h ago

How is this unexpected, the very first frame the coins are dropping from the fleshlight, and when handed to the employee, he obviously doesnt take lube covered bill

1

u/ProofRead_YourTitle 21h ago

"real quite"... Uh, okay.