r/WallStreetbetsELITE • u/davidmt1995 • Mar 07 '25

Shitpost Missing uncle Joe here

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You know what strengthens the stock market? Stability and predictability.

40.5k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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1.1k

u/nameless_pattern Mar 07 '25

Listen here libs!

My retirement just left me

621

u/HowGayCanIGo Mar 07 '25

Working into my late 70s to own the libs

334

u/LazyTitan39 Mar 07 '25

Dying at my work station to own the libs.

210

u/InerasableStains Mar 07 '25

Don’t you have a union to help stop or fight this?

No, we killed them to own the libs

153

u/Excellent_Set_232 Mar 07 '25

Demand better pay, benefits, and working conditions?

Nah, we reclassified ourselves as independent contractors to own the libs

78

u/StrobeLightRomance Mar 07 '25

Unions? Sounds like socialism to me! The only rights I need is the right to crack a beer, use hate speech, and collect my guns.

Trump wants my guns now? Shit! Anything to own the libs! I don't need to worry about protecting myself against government tyranny with MAGA in charge anyway.

31

u/ElectricBuckeye Mar 07 '25

Haven't you heard? Manufacturing is back, brother. I can't handle all this WINNING and owning and destroying the LIBS! LMAO They never had the cards, without us true Patriots, they'll never have the cards!

-2

u/PapaGrizzlyOld 29d ago

It’s been a month, calm yourself.

8

u/Bagel_lust 29d ago

Yeah a month of objectively some of the worst policy someone could implement, let's see four years of same shit what could possibly go wrong.

-3

u/PapaGrizzlyOld 29d ago

I’d say more like let’s wait the two full years he has to implement all his policies with a packed republican house and senate majority. Then you can complain.

3

u/Bear71 27d ago

He’s still in the concept of a concept of a policy stage, wait to see the shit show that the concept of a policy stage and the actual policies turns into!

0

u/PapaGrizzlyOld 27d ago

Well he was given a giant mess from a guy that kept shitting himself in public, sniffing women and children, sleeping during serious events and falling down stairs so yeah, may take awhile.

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u/Lawfulness_Nice 28d ago

Yah only a month… what can he do in a yr or more

2

u/johnyct9760 28d ago

With literally NO END IN SIGHT. Ur post can't imply what I think it does? You're betting on some kind of return to sanity by Donald and co? Lol, now who sounds hysterical.

2

u/cuddlyrhinoceros Mar 08 '25

Got rid of osha too!

3

u/International_Dog817 Mar 08 '25

Just think of all the libs that will be owned when I get my arm chopped off in an avoidable workplace accident!

3

u/cuddlyrhinoceros 29d ago

As long as it’s your left arm!

2

u/Elon-BO 29d ago

Hope you don’t like Molson, Moosehead or Labatts.

0

u/PapaGrizzlyOld 29d ago

Trump most certainly does not want your guns

2

u/SoManyLilBitches 29d ago

Trump is scared of guns, he most certainly ain’t pro-gun….

1

u/PapaGrizzlyOld 29d ago

Where is your evidence of that? Other than the bump stock ban that was forced on him his last term ? He just made an executive action to dive into government overreach on 2A rights.

2

u/Whacky-D 28d ago edited 28d ago

It’s part of the authoritarian playbook. Next come civil unrest and riots, then he declares martial law, suspend midterms for safety concerns, worse riots, take guns, declare self King

1

u/PapaGrizzlyOld 28d ago

So no evidence?

1

u/Whacky-D 28d ago

Of course not. But they’ve been saying Obama is gunna take yer guns for 17 years now so why not join in the fun with Trump. I’d ban guns too if I was just shot at twice in the last year and then decided to fire tens of thousands of veterans

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u/Any-Chip2177 28d ago

And where did you hear he was taking you guns? Like to see that article, good luck finding them too.

2

u/StrobeLightRomance 28d ago

Leave it to a Trump supporter to not understand what a hyperbole is.

0

u/Any-Chip2177 28d ago

Leave it to someone losing at something to attack others.

1

u/StrobeLightRomance 28d ago

So you admit MAGAs are losers? Because there's no larger group for projection and baseless accusations

1

u/realityunderfire Mar 08 '25

Ask for money to better protect forests and firefighting efforts?

Nah, sell off the lands, fire everyone, and don’t hire any more staff.

1

u/Feeling-Shelter3583 29d ago

Why is Yellowstone closed now??!! Damnit it must’ve been the Libs!!

1

u/_FIRECRACKER_JINX 29d ago

Don't forget "at will employment" we can be fired at any moment for any reason...... To own the libs

1

u/Beercules-8D 29d ago

Listen Librul! Retiring sounds like a commie thing.

1

u/SmokedBeef 29d ago

I hate the TSA as much as anyone but damn did they get shafted

1

u/amazingdrewh 29d ago

If we had a union someone would have moved Frank's body by now I bet, it's been three weeks

1

u/Pappabarba 26d ago

Ooof...

*Homer Simpson: "It's funny 'cause it's true!"*

35

u/Ok_Parsnip_4583 Mar 07 '25

Retirement is for communists!

15

u/catonsteroids Mar 07 '25

Retiring and collecting social security and Medicare as you stop working? What are you, a welfare queen? /s

15

u/BradHamilton001 Mar 07 '25

If you are not willing to work your hands to the bone, in order for your boss to take multiple vacations a year, you are an idiot.

2

u/Aromatic_Sympathy_38 29d ago

become the boss

0

u/Socalwarrior485 29d ago

We have plenty of temporarily embarrassed millionaires.

1

u/Snot_S 28d ago

CEO can’t afford a third house thanks to your lazy ass

8

u/Playful-Variety-1242 Mar 07 '25

Pretty soon you won’t have a work station to die in…You’ll die in the streets like a true American!!

4

u/FlemPlays Mar 08 '25

Coming soon to MAGA: “Losing my Social Security to own the Libs.”

1

u/Round-External-7306 Mar 07 '25

Have you won yet or are you dead?

1

u/buythedipnow Mar 07 '25

Assuming you’re lucky enough to still have a job

1

u/Youngsinatra345 Mar 08 '25

Be a man, Die at work.

1

u/62andmuchwiser 29d ago

I'm glad I own my limbs. Oops...wrong subreddit...I guess.