r/WallStreetbetsELITE • u/wallstreetballer • 16h ago

MEME Headlines from the multiverse

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4.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

141 comments sorted by

364

u/Doodurpoon 13h ago

I miss having a president that isn't coming up with a new way to fuck over people every fucking day. When he went the hospital with Covid-19 in 2020, it was great. He finally shut the fuck up.

91

u/fzzball 12h ago

The only thing that went wrong there was the WH staff insisting he go to the hospital.

45

u/StolenPies 12h ago

It's weird to say because I was terrified of the possibility at the time, but Pence might not have been so bad.

35

u/GenghisTron17 12h ago

I think Pence would have been bad just in a different way. I think the brush with death on Jan 6th changed him.

14

u/JonInOsaka 7h ago

I don't agree with any of Pence's beliefs, but at least he cares about the rule of law. That in and of itself is lightyears better than Trump.

5

u/DiscountAcrobatic356 10h ago

How? Made him all the more determined to fuck each and everyone over before he shuffles off?

5

u/StolenPies 7h ago

No, he saw that Trump is an authoritarian and the cult of personality he has formed is violently dangerous to the Constitution and the rule of law.

27

u/Artistic-Banana734 12h ago

Proof there is no God is this idiot lived through COVID.

25

u/awe2D2 11h ago

Yeah I stopped believing in Karma when Trump won this 2nd time. A guy who has been lying, cheating and the living embodiment of greed his whole life, well I was expecting Karma would catch him after he lost and all the lawsuits and court cases were finally allowed to punish him. Instead he got more power and gets his final days consequence free..

17

u/Far_Eye6555 11h ago

He even dodged a bullet

4

u/Flat-Erik 7h ago

"And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast."

8

u/Lord_Vesuvius2020 9h ago

Are you sure that wasn’t staged? It’s amazing how little information ever came out.

3

u/WalkAffectionate2683 6h ago

Did he got really wounded? Because if he did this is a very dangerous thing to stage.

If the wound has been hidden then idk

1

u/Fluffy-Queequeg 2h ago

His ear clipped the belt of the SS agent that tackled him to the ground.

10

u/Slow_Lengthiness3166 11h ago

Maybe there is karma .. and he is God's way of getting back at Americans for all the bad things theyve done around the world ... Like you know bombing the living crap out of anyone not white enough or christian enough or rich enough ...

8

u/fzzball 10h ago

He lived because he was airlifted to Walter Reed to get $60K worth of experimental treatments. And it still nearly killed him.

2

u/Dio-lated1 9h ago

And then he came back all heroic acting and whipped off his mask and says it’s nothing to fear. I was angry at him that day. What a dirtbag.

2

u/Big_Location_855 5h ago

Well the book of revelations did say that the antichrist is supposed to win and take over before the end of times…so things are supposed to get worse.

2

u/Lower-Garbage7652 5h ago

So puts on everything American is what I hear.

8

u/TwoFingersWhiskey 11h ago

I think Covid rocked his shit. He aged so rapidly after that, and what was already crazy just began to eclipse into utter madness

5

u/nanotasher 12h ago

Maybe that's when he was replaced by a lizard man wearing a Trump costume.

3

u/Doodurpoon 11h ago

I think the lizard people are misunderstood. Sure, they are cold blooded, but you go have a picnic with them they really warm up to you.

3

u/DiscountAcrobatic356 10h ago

On a good rock in the midday sun.

5

u/waitingtoconnect 9h ago

“But her laugh, under trump it’d be a 7000 point gain no a 7 million point gain… “

1

u/C_B_Doyle 6h ago

4 Months (Tarrifs Announced in January)

55

u/infinit9 12h ago

I want to live in that universe.

23

u/BenySpaghetty 11h ago

Just one inch to the left and we could have had this.

1

u/yldf 4h ago

It’s just a jump to the left…

-15

u/stephen6686 6h ago

good luck, i am sure you would be on the front lines of some war

12

u/DisIsMyName_NotUrs 6h ago

Bro what

-15

u/stephen6686 6h ago

if she was in charge i am sure wars would be escalating, Russia / Ukraine, Israel and Hammas and i am sure China would have gone into Taiwan. So i am sure we would be involved in these wars even more. So who knows probably would have brought back the draft

13

u/AndrewInaTree 5h ago

Wait. You think she could have war-mongered MORE than Trump attacking 4 allies within 3 weeks of taking power??

What the fuck??

7

u/peterukk 4h ago

you should be less sure about things

5

u/damagedice6 4h ago

Idk what you're on bro, but you're on it good lol

4

u/Cute-Vacation-7392 1h ago

Absolutely! She was Biden’s VP and her term as VP had served as a warning to us all. We all witnessed in horror as Biden threatened to bomb Iran and kick off another war in the Middle East, or that he did everything in his power to stall the $61B aid for Ukraine for seven months leading to Ukraine losing much ground in the war, or that he didn’t rule out using the military to invade an ally. Oh wait… 

3

u/berejser 2h ago

But those wars are escalating.

2

u/PepeFeels 3h ago

Trump is messing with invading Greenland and maybe Iran

78

u/RealisticMarsupial84 13h ago

I just want a boring day with no word-shattering headlines. I’m done with the drama queens in charge. 

3

u/Additional_Irony 5h ago

It’s a testament to the times we live in that both „world-shattering“ and „word-shattering“ make the same amount of sense 🫠

1

u/berejser 2h ago

That was the great thing about Biden. For the most part you could just forget he was there and know that you didn't have to be on a constant state of alert for anything mental you might need to prepare for.

61

u/sdotumd 13h ago

Hilariously true but I won’t share it bc of how terrible that AI Kamala is. Looks like some Peewee Herman shit

7

u/EricForce 10h ago

I think they just found their reference image for Kamala's wax figurine.

4

u/coffeeisveryok 9h ago

But can we appreciate that ai has finally learned English? Only a month ago all words looked like incorrect swastikas

4

u/tjbguy 11h ago

Oh god I just zoomed in

1

u/SPQR0027 8h ago

Do not zoom in on the hands.

8

u/AnonHondaBoiz 12h ago

OP is leading others to a treasure we cannot possess

56

u/MapleDansk 15h ago

I like the timeline with Bernie as president better.

But maybe I should grow a goatee, considering the timeline I exist.

10

u/hbk268 13h ago

Evil Troy and Evil Abed 🎶

3

u/Lucky_Diver 13h ago

Bernie likes tariffs. Lol

1

u/Sniter 3h ago

There is sing tarrifs in a very specific way. What is happening now is madness. You really can't compare the two. That would like calling Bernie Stalin for hist social democratics stances.

2

u/Chops03xx 12h ago

I was about to say Bernie literally used to give speeches about how immigrants were why the American worker couldn’t get a living wage and how he would use tariffs to force companies to use American labor and price out cheap foreign goods.

He was basically Trump before there was Trump.

16

u/DesperateAdvantage76 11h ago

Bernie has supported tariffs in a very targeted manner against countries that use exploitative labor practices (such as child labor), to penalize companies that try to offshore, and for environmental purposes. Trump, well he just applied it to the entire world without really telling anyone wtf he actually wants in specific terms.

19

u/geo0rgi 12h ago

I can’t imagine Bernie going with a chart made by chatgpt boasting about made up reciprocality though

-1

u/partia1pressur3 12h ago

Bernie is also in favor of significant tariffs. I like a lot of the things Bernie represents, but given the moment I’m not sure Bernie would be all that much better.

8

u/waitingtoconnect 9h ago

There is protectionism and tariffs to protect local industry which Bernie supported and then there is crazy.

6

u/Ok_Loquat_5413 11h ago

For sure he wouldn't do these crazy ass tariffs, hell, he probably couldn't even do it since the Congress should do that job

5

u/Unleashed-9160 7h ago

I am no Democrat....I am not a harris fan.....but I voted for her because this shit... It could be seen from a mile away... I'm glad I liquidated my entire 3 ports in January.

4

u/Vegetable-Roof-9589 5h ago

Meanwhile, in our multiverse, the penguins must sold their bussiness to US companies!

3

u/21515219 6h ago

This post made me smile. Felt weird, but I liked it.

3

u/shavertech 12h ago

Why does this look like a wax museum exhibit?

3

u/DiscountAcrobatic356 10h ago

Like the early blissful Biden days. Covid ending and before let’s Go Brandon.

3

u/QMEiffel 9h ago

That's oddly specific. Are you from the multi-verse, OP? Can trade place with you in your universe, please?

3

u/RR_Davidson 5h ago

We are all longing to be in this alternate universe

3

u/theSentry95 5h ago

All my hope is on the Mandela Effect now.

3

u/stonkysdotcom 4h ago

Where do I buy the teleporter ticket?

9

u/Icy_Ground1637 16h ago

Lol 😂, Elon said he has just finish the flux capacitor and will be massed produced in the next year sending tesla to 1,500 $$$ a share and Elon to be the first trillion air

0

u/Irilieth_Raivotuuli 12h ago

did he also finish his Iron Tesla suit with the Unobtanium core that will cause TSLA to go to the moon both literally and stockpiles?

4

u/brendamn 12h ago

Love it. I would of thought about Harris maybe once a week tops

4

u/tjbguy 11h ago

We really could have had a hot, competent, able-minded president… thanks a lot, morons

2

u/Altruistic-Cat-7531 12h ago

I believe the number for Biden was 86 all time highs. That’s one every 17 days. For four years.

2

u/Sir_Keepo 11h ago

Social media is full of people candidly enjoying economic growth and recreation, with no sign of Trump or Elon's presence since their federal imprisonment.

2

u/HistorianNew8030 10h ago

Sigh. As a Canadian - one who cancelled a huge Disney World trip because of Trump.

The idea of a president not uttering constant annexation threats like Putin does to Ukraine - how - peaceful.

2

u/bryroo 7h ago

former president trump is on trial for treason, elon musk is being investigated for fraud at tesla, home ownership is becoming a possibility for the younger generation again, egg prices are down again for the 5th week in a row

2

u/gamebloxs 7h ago

remember during bush,obama and biden you could forget about who the president was and what they were doing most days, i miss that

2

u/Authoritaye 7h ago

Homer Simpsons: BORRRING!!

2

u/SuperDerpfake 6h ago

But they said that the DEI was gonna hurt me! and her laugh!

2

u/SkillGuilty355 6h ago

“The bond market doesn’t exist”

~ all of you degenerates

2

u/zd0l0r 5h ago

Look at her face

2

u/truenataku1 4h ago

infinite growth is unsustainable and extremely detrimental to the working class.

2

u/TellEmHisDreamnDaryl 4h ago

Jeeze the tards are really out in force on the ol Reddit these days huh

3

u/Expensive-Being4990 11h ago

Can we just show a timeline of what she did as vice president to show these idiots who voted wrong on why they should not listen to Fox News

-1

u/stephen6686 6h ago

well she couldn't handle a boarder

2

u/Beepboopblapbrap 5h ago

This comment perfectly sums up why we’re are currently in such a shit situation, and it’s not because the “boarder”.

2

u/The_Bandit_King_ 13h ago

Make Bernie president

2

u/Yeti_Urine 10h ago

All the dumbass, out-of-work incels really fucked the non-dumbass world here.

2

u/gfunk1369 8h ago

I miss having a president that I can ignore. I don't mean that in a bad way mind you but in the sense of dependable competent person who I don't have to worry about cratering my way of life. Kind of like having a dependable car, yes you have to maintain it but you know it's always going to start and get you to work without question. That is what I want back, not a reality star trying to get clicks.

2

u/stephen6686 6h ago

yeah wondering if he was even alive

1

u/Iwubinvesting 10h ago

Christ AI is freaky af

1

u/Important-Career1094 6h ago

What's up with her face? Ai, I assume?

1

u/stephen6686 6h ago

mean while the rest of the world is burning down while this hyena chuckles

2

u/SokkaHaikuBot 6h ago

Sokka-Haiku by stephen6686:

Mean while the rest of

The world is burning down while

This hyena chuckles

Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.

1

u/stephen6686 6h ago

you get a thumbs up for that

1

u/MaestroGena 5h ago

Another boring day at White House and nobody is winning all the time. What a nice day it is

1

u/Optimal-Description8 4h ago

But guys, she laughed weird

1

u/Qazwas32 4h ago

Would be a dream

But o feel like even with Harris we don't break all time highs because of inflation and nonstop fears of a recession. We'd probably get there eventually sadly for us we're stuck with 🥭

😢 😭

1

u/Manealendil 2h ago

Fox News is screeching about her suit, the world is in balance again

1

u/Low_Note_6848 2h ago

I wonder where is Harris. Even though she lost, we could still benefit from her leadership in dark times as these.

1

u/mrb1585357890 1h ago

While I’m a Harris fan and think Trump is a global disaster, it was pretty damned obvious that markets were overheated on an AI bubble. It was bound to have blown up under democrat or republican.

Now Trump has been a catalyst of course and I’m much more concerned for the global economy than I was. It’s more than a stock market bubble now.

But I did hear that “the only other time the stock market has crashed like this soon into a presidential term was George W Bush with the DotCom bubble, but that was a bubble. Trump inherited a roaring economy” which seems like nonsense to me. The AI bubble is a lot like the DotCom bubble, albeit focused on the Mag7 rather than 1000s of dodgy internet companies.

1

u/MalaysiaTeacher 1h ago

AI slop get fucked

1

u/KeithCGlynn 53m ago

Biden did this. Stayed out of the news most of the time and what did the lunatics say "why are they hiding him?"

The expectation is for the president to be on tv 24/7 for some reason 

1

u/Ok_Loquat_5413 11h ago

Shit, reading that I was happy for two seconds, can you write a book about a boring Kamala as president?

1

u/WolfOffSesameStreet 10h ago

The qanon's would watch this and transvestigate all the kids and claim Harris is a cyborg, the real Harris being locked up in Guantanamo Bay way back on Jan 20 by true we the people patriots.

Just writing this makes me nostalgic for the old days.

1

u/bakedcharmander 8h ago

So... how do I switch timelines?

1

u/The1Zenith 5h ago

Definitely not the Kamala of our universe. Must be one where Harambe survived.

0

u/tauofthemachine 11h ago

The internet is saturated with right wing rage, instead of right wing cope...

0

u/radiobottom 10h ago

Corporatists vs Oligarchs, and you guys chose Oligarchs? Wild choice

0

u/WintrySleep 9h ago

Oooh this should be a subreddit - Happy Multiverse Headlines, where the good always prevails.

0

u/cerealOverdrive 9h ago

But her laugh! Or was it her skin color! Think of all the racist people who were already upset about Obama!

0

u/gasp_ 7h ago

You make me sad.

-9

u/DodgeRamLover_69 12h ago

Market was way overvalued and pullbacks were happening regardless.

6

u/Far-Investigator1265 12h ago

Reality:

"The first year of the Biden presidency (2021) saw strong growth in real GDP, wages, employment, stock market returns, and household net worth, coupled with an increase in inflation, as the economy recovered from the pandemic recession of 2020. During 2022–2023, the unemployment rate averaged 3.6%. By April 2024, the unemployment rate had remained below 4.0% for the longest sustained period since 1953.\3])\4]) Monthly job creation averaged a robust 402,000 from inauguration through February 2024, or 273,000 from June 2022, when the pre-pandemic jobs level was regained.\5]) However, past this point unemployment continued to increase to 4.3% in July 2024.\3]) Inflation increased up to 9.0% (measured vs. a year earlier) in June 2022, then began falling. By June 2023 inflation was 3.1% and remained around that level through June 2024. As of November 2024, the inflation rate was 2.7%, with rent price increases contributing roughly half.\2]) While inflation was similar to peer countries, the U.S. has outgrown its peers.\2]) The Federal Reserve rapidly raised a key interest rate from March 2022 until August 2023, and is expected to lower interest rates in the second half of 2024.\6]) The stock market repeatedly broke record highs in 2024."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economic_policy_of_the_Joe_Biden_administration

3

u/SimpleFacts312 11h ago

As an American, I prefer overvalued compared to undervalued.

-4

u/Bishop-roo 11h ago

All while she plans another war and bank bailout, while giving the executive branch more powers than before, like every other president. Also the middle class shrinks and voting day still on a work-day and not a holiday.

Fuck Trump. Ok? Fuck him. No I didn’t vote for him. Fuck off.

But we have a problem that’s not partisan.

0

u/zhdun72 7h ago

How dare you attack my party? Were you not taught that democrat = good and Republican = bad? Don't you remember during Biden when everyone was rich and there were no problems and everyone was happy and there was no war and no one got hurt and.. and.. and...

-10

u/Kitchen_Alps 12h ago

My ass

6

u/fzzball 12h ago

What you think with?

-14

u/MemeeMaker 12h ago

That's incorrect the fair is for trans kids.

7

u/AnonHondaBoiz 12h ago

This shit could be trans orgies for all I care as long as free trade and the market was left untouched like sleepy joe had done

-5

u/MemeeMaker 11h ago

Projection is a tool to view ahead without being there. The current path was not sustainable for future generations. So my advisors and I decided to pivot. It will be hard for a season but countries will collaborate with us to implement trade agreements that will be mutually beneficial.

4

u/fzzball 12h ago

So what if it was?

6

u/Remarkable_Crow6064 12h ago

Like most MAGATs he's so insecure someone slightly different is so threatening

1

u/Various_Occasions 10h ago

Stop sharing your porn ideas freak 

-19

u/Stoocpants 13h ago

Not even this crash can make me want Kamala in office.

3

u/Friz617 12h ago

What would ?

7

u/Remarkable_Crow6064 12h ago

Hes too insecure couldn't stand a woman president

0

u/zhdun72 7h ago

You're going comment to comment projecting your insecurities on everyone else. Is there something you want to tell us?