r/adhdwomen • u/No-Sign2089 • Feb 26 '25

Rant/Vent petition to replace that survey question about getting up in meetings

I'm so tired of that one question on ADHD diagnostic questionnaires that's like:

  • "Do you find yourself getting up at inappropriate times in meetings?"

Absolutely not, I have social anxiety disorder, and I'm a woman, I barely speak in meetings, let alone GET UP randomly in front of my peers.

I did however have an extreme meltdown last week which was not appropriate for the situation, that passed within ten minutes, and casually said "well, at least no one overreacted."

IDK though, I just dislike the question because it's like, one of only ten questions used to diagnose a complex disorder, specifically predicated to hyperactive men, and every time I get it I have to "prove" my impairments are ADHD.

What's your favourite/least favourite ADHD diagnostic question??

EDIT: since there's some confusion - if you love this question, great, I'm glad your symptoms were reflected in a diagnostic questionnaire. Yes, I do believe girls can be hyperactive, no I don't think all hyperactivity related questions should be removed, and my point about inattentive girls/women being missed in terms of percentage of diagnoses reflects the general recent trend as referenced by Barkley et al (Taking Charge of Adult ADHD), Hallowell et al (ADHD 2.0), and Lotta Borg Skoglund (ADHD Girls to Women). My experience and frustrations should not be taken as the default for the 418,000 subscribers to this sub.

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731

u/Anxious_Biscuit Feb 26 '25

I wished that they included more about internal hyperactivity. Do I stand up or move around during meetings? No. Does my brain start doing parkour over like 15 different things when I should be paying attention? Yes.

277

u/SparkleKittyMeowMeow Feb 26 '25

Girls are conditioned from a young age to sit still and be "lady-like", and also to be meek and quiet. So we internalize everything. No one knows what's constantly going on in my head because I've been conditioned from an extremely young age to believe that no one cares what I think, so I sit and smile and don't talk, and even when I feel comfortable enough to talk, I agonize over it afterward, convinced that everyone thought it was stupid.

The way that ADHD affects a woman's brain is often completely opposite to the way that we're told/shown our whole lives is appropriate for girls/women, so we often end up with copious amounts of shame and guilt on top of the inner chaos. Super awesome when this is combined with an abusive childhood! (No, I am not okay lol)

35

u/bubblenuts101 Feb 27 '25

Yes! It should be a question in there, "can you get through this quiz without having a meltdown/overthinking/writing little explanations/mini essays in the margins" As soon as I talked to the dr I started ranting about the questions, I reckon that's the tell 🤣

4

u/SublimeAussie Feb 27 '25

For sure! I was on the phone to my bf while doing an ADHD screening thing my Dr gave me, and he was laughing at me as I got more and more frustrated with the questions and my responses to them (he also has ADHD so he gets it, lol)

1

u/bubblenuts101 Feb 27 '25

I'm guessing you are in Australia from your name? Did you ever hear Abbie Chatfield say her theory, she reckons if you get too frustrated and can't fill out the form, that's how they know you have it haha (but I reckon we are motivated to get a dx so we 💪)

2

u/SublimeAussie Feb 27 '25

Lol I haven't heard that, but it tracks 😆 the utter insanity of having a screening test that is that long for a condition known for the inability to maintain attention is real!

But you're not wrong, the need for the diagnosis is a powerful motivator to push through

1

u/bubblenuts101 Feb 28 '25

And then making us try to remember to take meds at regular intervals is urrrghh just give us an implant already

2

u/SparkleKittyMeowMeow Feb 27 '25

I finally took the ADHDonline smartassessment today (after purchasing it a year ago LOL), and oh my god some of the questions were difficult to answer. I'm like, "I mean, I do this occasionally, definitely not 'never', but not on a monthly basis either, so like, I'm lying regardless of whatever answer I choose..."

Seriously, that assessment needs an additional factor where you have your camera and microphone on while you take it and they can see your reactions. And how many times you switch to a new tab because you thought of something you want to investigate, but you're in the middle of A Thing, but if you don't open a new tab to keep in the background, you're going to forget about it before you finish, and now that thing reminded you of another thing that you really gotta make sure that you remember to do, so you make a note of it, and crap, what was I doing?

Edit: Offering to let them read your regular paragraph-long Reddit comments should count too.

1

u/bubblenuts101 Feb 27 '25

There was a hilarious one I read where a question (I think it was Autism) was "do you like dates?" And the woman did a whole thread about how she went off and purchased some dates from the supermarket. Then some different types of dates. Then some fresh dates to compare. Then some from a different region. Then like three months later she comes back "I like dates" (she meant it to be funny) 💀💀