r/askatherapist 5h ago

When you get a new job, how and when do you tell them you need accommodations for leaving early for sessions?

4 Upvotes

I am looking for a new job, and hopefully I will have one soon. How and when do I tell my next employer I need some accommodations for sessions. I know I don’t have to go into details. I’m totally fine going in to work early to make up for the time. In the past, I worked for a very flexible company and have worked remotely for 5 years but now there is a chance I may get a job at a very professional place and will be on-site.

Thanks.


r/askatherapist 12h ago

Do therapists purposely do things clients don't like to test their reactions?

13 Upvotes

In therapy, I (28F) was talking about how I used to be unable to control my agitation when people did things in a way I didn't like—making certain sounds, not having personal hygiene the way I want, sniffling, sitting in a certain way, eating in a certain way, etc. I'm able to control my thoughts now and I no longer have outbursts (usually).

A little while after I talked about this, my therapist cracked his knuckles loudly. It made me feel nauseous and like I wanted to rip my skin off 😅, but I tried to act like I didn't notice.

He's cracked his knuckles before, but the timing seemed odd. Was this just pure coincidence or unconscious on his part, or is it possible he was trying to test my reaction?

When I was a teenager, a similar thing happened. My therapist placed a pencil or something really close to the edge of her desk and didn't say anything. At the time, I felt like she was making fun of me, even though things close to the edge of a table is not really something that bothered me very much. Was it possible she was seeing if I'd react? I didn't say anything then either.


r/askatherapist 59m ago

i asked to reschedule my appointment a day before and my therapist didn’t respond to me?

Upvotes

it may have been short notice and therapists are human and get annoyed but imo duty of care extends to not ghosting your clients lol. i got an automated notification the day before as i usually do to remind me i had an appointment and to contact them to reschedule so i assumed it would be appropriate to do


r/askatherapist 2h ago

Couples therapist lied. Do we have to pay?

0 Upvotes

Long story short, couple's therapist lied to my partner and put them in a position of either to call a divorce lawyer or to continue therapy sessions under false pretenses ( ie not letting me know the therapist had no intent on trying to improve our partnership, was just buying time until they could talk partner into leaving) A whole number of questions arise from this. Do I legally have to pay if they (I assume) violate their code of ethics? Should we sue them? Should we file a complaint?


r/askatherapist 13h ago

Should you go to therapy if you don't really want help?

6 Upvotes

I've been in therapy for about 2 years now and I have sessions every 2 weeks. I've improved a bit but now the improvement stopped and I'm kinda falling back again/not as much but I still stay bad. I don't feel like I really want help. I am not happy and have many issues but I feel like that I find to much comfort in not feeling good, so that I will always fall back.


r/askatherapist 4h ago

Does my therapist think I should move on?

1 Upvotes

My therapist made a comment to me in our last session that seems to be sticking with me. It is making me wonder if I should stop therapy. For context I have been in therapy almost 2 years due to relationship issues. In the last session he said I am still on the couch due to my constant self blame issues. I do struggle with blaming myself, thinking everything is my fault for my failed relationship even though I know I was not treated very well by my partner. Could it be my therapist is tired of me and he thinks I need to move on?


r/askatherapist 4h ago

Is there a reason why a try to relapse every month?

1 Upvotes

I used to have an ED as a teenager and every month exactly a week before my period starts that’s when my brain always tries to relapse, and go back into the same habits. Is it because of the hormone changes?


r/askatherapist 6h ago

L-bomb usage?

0 Upvotes

When do you, and why do you use, “because I love you.” Not intense, not sensual…just a genuine more than, “because I care.” Not asking for appropriate vs. inappropriate…asking for when that when that switch flips.


r/askatherapist 12h ago

What causes obsession with someone you barely know?

2 Upvotes

I once had an obsession with someone i barely knew, and even though it was 1 year ago, it still gets me sometimes, how does that happen? How is it possible for a human to love someone obsessively without having deep connections?


r/askatherapist 9h ago

Has anyone here watched Enlightened on HBO?

1 Upvotes

What are your thoughts on the main character Amy? I feel like there are obvious social influences around her privilege and entitlement (ha, I wonder if the title is a play on entitlement) but I was curious about her psychological profile it’s so honest!


r/askatherapist 12h ago

Complex/complicated grief workbooks or books?

1 Upvotes

Also open to guided meditations/experiences/slow guided movement.

Preface: I am just looking for extra resources - I just began therapy 3x a week and I have a little bit of support from friends.

My therapist says I’m dealing with complex or complicated grief, and also a lot of fear and anger in my body that I’m trying to do my best to process and allow to exist. But it’s so hard to know what to do with, when I’m alone.

I’m essentially going through the worst time of my life and I’m dealing with a ton of grief and big fear over my chronic illness and becoming bedridden temporary (hopefully), but I will be disabled for the rest of my life and never be able to live a normal life. But even worse than that, I have a lot of grief and rage around my family being incredibly emotionally unavailable and not supporting me emotionally through the worst time of my life, or ever. I also had a best friend abandoned me, and friends feel distant as they don’t have the space to talk with me much now, and I’m grieving a lack of support that is just the way it is.

I am safe and everything, and whenever I talk to a friend or therapist, I process these emotions, but I was wondering if there are any good books or workbooks I could do to process these feelings on my own, to help them move through me or give me some peace, or at least help me understand what’s going on in my brain better, or stories to help me feel less alone. I feel like I have massive emotions that need to move through me, but I don’t know how to make them move through me because I can’t dance anymore, can’t do yoga. Music has been a little helpful I guess. Can’t watch TV yet because of migraines. so far all that really helps is talking/crying. But I can’t get myself to cry as much as I want to. (any tips on getting myself to cry more are appreciated). But I can read and do workbooks, or guided meditations/experiences/slow guided movement.

Thanks!


r/askatherapist 17h ago

REBT: why is it so underrated in our current therapy field?

2 Upvotes

CBT (specifically Beckian CBT) imo is one of the most powerful therapeutic approaches. Its structured techniques for modifying negative thought patterns and behaviors have demonstrated effectiveness across various mental health challenges. While acknowledging CBT's strengths in providing tools for change, it's important to recognize that its primary focus is often on the content of individual automatic thoughts.

This approach, while helpful, can sometimes feel like addressing symptoms rather than the root cause. And ACT has sometimes criticized it as a form of experiential avoidance rather than acceptance. ACT offers a valuable alternative perspective with its focus on acceptance of thoughts and feelings and a commitment to values-driven action, focusing more on psychological flexibility.

ACT's focus on acceptance and mindfulness is extremely useful, but its lack of emphasis and even explicit avoidance on actively reducing distressing symptoms might leave some individuals feeling that their immediate needs for relief are not fully met. Many folks simply don't care about pursuing abstract values in the midst of paralyzing depressive and anxious symptoms.

Furthermore, ACT sometimes frames cognitive restructuring as inherently involving a futile battle against every automatic thought, which is a point of contention. REBT provides a distinct and compelling approach. Like Beckian CBT, REBT recognizes the significant influence of thoughts on emotions and behaviors. However, REBT's unique strength lies in its central focus on the underlying irrational beliefs – the rigid, demanding, and often unspoken "musts," "shoulds," and "oughts" that drive irrational beliefs.

REBT's emphasis on underlying demands offers a more comprehensive therapeutic path. REBT, like Beckian CBT, actively works to reduce distressing symptoms by changing irrational beliefs. However, REBT simultaneously fosters the psychological flexibility that ACT seeks, by loosening the grip of rigid thinking, allowing for a more adaptable and nuanced perspective.

REBT's focus on core demands aims to address the deeper cognitive processes that generate negative emotions and dysfunctional behaviors, rather than just managing the content of each individual thought as it arises, which is the primary focus of Beckian CBT. The focus is more on the rigid demands behind the beliefs, not the specific content.

REBT's approach to cognitive restructuring directly challenges ACT's assertion that cognitive restructuring must involve a struggle/ battle against every automatic thought. REBT demonstrates that cognitive restructuring can be a rational, logical, and empowering process of examining and changing the underlying demands that give rise to those automatic thoughts, rather than trying to adjust every distorted thought.

REBT, similar to ACT, incorporates a powerful form of acceptance, even if emphasis is a bit different. This includes unconditional self-acceptance: accepting oneself as a fallible human being, regardless of imperfections or mistakes; unconditional other-acceptance: accepting others, even with their flaws and behaviors we dislike; and Unconditional life acceptance: accepting that life will inevitably present challenges and difficulties. This clearly avoids the pitfalls of experiential avoidance that some ACT theorists have levied against Beck's CT.

While i acknowledge Beckian CBT's effectiveness and ACT's useful emphasis on acceptance, REBT offers a compelling case for its potential superiority. It offers a unique combination: the active symptom reduction of Beckian CBT, the psychological flexibility and acceptance that ACT aims for, and a distinctive focus on cultivating unconditional acceptance by directly challenging the rigid, demanding patterns of underlying thinking that often drive emotional distress.

Ive found that it really addresses what I perceived as the slight shortcomings of both ACT and Beck's CBT, and is a uniquely comprehensive approach that aims for a deep philosophical change in perspective as well as an effective psychotherapy modality. It's a tragedy that it's overshadowed by these other modalities to such a large extent.


r/askatherapist 17h ago

What is the average time of a counseling session?

2 Upvotes

My sister is seeing a counselor, the counselor typically shows up 5 minutes late and ends the session 10 minutes before the hour ends. Is this normal?


r/askatherapist 12h ago

My former therapist?

0 Upvotes

Has anyone made it out alive dating your ex therapist?


r/askatherapist 1d ago

Do Therapists give patients the “Clock Test”? Like the one in Hannibal lol

4 Upvotes

Do therapists give patients the “clock test” to assess cognitive or other function? Like the one in Hannibal lol.

So, I’ve been seeing a therapist for a couple of months. In the initial intake session, one odd thing happened: he had me do what I’ll call (for lack of a better term) the “Clock Test,” where I drew a picture of a clock with the hands set at a specific hour and minute. It’s the same test that Hannibal gives to Will in the show “Hannibal,” at one point because Hannibal suspects encephalitis and, of course, Will’s hand drawn clock is a complete mess because he does, in fact, have that neurological condition.

So my question is: how many therapists give this Clock Test and if so, when, how often, in what context? In an initial intake.

I ask because having had some experiences in therapy I’ve literally never seen this done or experienced it myself before, whether in an Intake or otherwise. And, nothing in my intake paperwork would have indicated I have, say, dementia lol, or psychotic level thinking.

Here’s my hunch: I feel like this therapist has a pretty rich fantasy life and this sometimes seeps out. So in this instance, I really wouldn’t be surprised if he saw the Clock Test used on Hannibal the show (with its depiction of therapy) and literally reenacted that in part for the connection to whatever that means for him in his fantasy life. Similarly, he’s more than once made allusions, that go beyond the Jungian, to various beliefs in the supernatural but without explicitly saying it.

Of course all this is potentially my own complete transference or projection. But I’d be grateful for any thoughts on the use of the Clock Test in therapy and any reactions generally. Thanks everyone!


r/askatherapist 1d ago

Who are the father's of modern day therapy?

11 Upvotes

Want to learn about the key players of what is therapy today. Who can I research off YT?

Freud I know is one although not totally right. Then Young (probably spelt wrong).....who else?


r/askatherapist 1d ago

As a therapist, what was your entry-level position in the field?

2 Upvotes

I’m about to graduate with my bachelor’s in psychology. I plan to continue onto my Masters, but I feel like I need some experience in the field and I’m honestly lost on what jobs to look into… a lot of my friends said behavior technician, but I would be taking a pretty drastic pay cut.. which I will if I have to, but I want to explore more options


r/askatherapist 1d ago

BPD is known for being stigmatized by medical professionals. From your personal perspective, if you would reject a BPD patient, why?

4 Upvotes

And have you ever offered to refer them to someone better suited for their needs?

(Borderline Personality Disorder)


r/askatherapist 1d ago

Where to find cases ASAM used in their previous 3rd edition?

0 Upvotes

Hi all, I'm a case writer for ASAM. Where to find the previous cases they used for their 3rd Edition of Dimensions of Addictions and Levels of Care? I'm panicking rn. Help!!!!


r/askatherapist 1d ago

How would you describe therapy to someone who "doesn't believe" in it?

0 Upvotes

Let's just say this person desperately needs therapy, is pretty severely mentally ill, but they're resistant, have been kind of red pilled, and don't get what therapy could possibly do for them. Say they recognize they're unhappy and are willing to talk about it in terms of who's done them wrong, but are otherwise pretty out of touch. How would you explain what the promise of therapy is, without scaring them off?


r/askatherapist 1d ago

What does being healed actually mean?

1 Upvotes

Sorry if this is completely banal, but it is a genuine question that is gnawing at me.

Been in and out of therapy for ten years, and I'm finally at a point in my life where there is near-automatic and near-simultaneous thought/emotion modulation (ie, there is a time lag between a thought and a reaction). Is this what we called healed? Freedom to choose our reaction?

Any opinions / perspectives are greatly appreciated.


r/askatherapist 1d ago

What was your first experience with sister or mother type transference like?

3 Upvotes

Do you remember any patient you had who had transference with you where they viewed you like a mother or sister? Do you remember how it made you feel for the first time? Were you uncomfortable? Didn’t mind it? How did you handle it?


r/askatherapist 1d ago

How did your first patient with abandonment and attachment issues make you feel?

3 Upvotes

How did your first client with abandonment issues and attachment issues make you feel?

Did they make you feel uncomfortable? Did they confuse you? Did they annoy you? I have severe attachment problems, fear of abandonment, need frequent reassurance, many of the things that CPTSD and BPD borderline personality disorder patients deal with. My therapist specializes in depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and grief and loss. I frequently need her reassurance that she isn’t going to abandon me or refer me out. I am always afraid that I am going to be too much for her, I frequently ask if I am too much for her too. I know I am emotionally attached to her and it is likely that I require more than most of her patients. Fear of abandonment makes a person much more needy than the average patient. I’m just wondering if anyone else has ever gotten a patient that you realized was very attached to you and feared losing you or really needed your constant reassurance, and you had never had a patient like that before.


r/askatherapist 1d ago

Can university counsellors/therapists break confidentiality to your parents?

7 Upvotes

I'm a uni student from the UK (I'm 21) and I believe someone has reported me to uni for my posts about my mental health issues, alcoholism and addiction (from posts elsewhere than reddit). My uni's website says that they will break confidentiality to your parents if they consider there to be a threat to your safety.

I've been crying and freaking out about the thought of them informing my parents for the past few days. That would be the worst thing in the world to me and my whole life would come crashing down. My parents don't really believe in mental health (like they think it's just a "teenage phase" that you should grow out of) and they think addicts are disgusting.