r/blackcats • u/jmcianos • Sep 14 '24
Mourning My void is dying and I’m sad
Just that. She’s fifteen, has cancer, I’ve had her for thirteen years and I’m devastated. I wanted to share her with everyone, as she’s brought me so much joy and I’m going to miss her terribly. I started palliative care this week, and she just took a turn for the worse. Her name is Mortimer. It’s cheesy, but she’s my best friend.
It’s a few year old, but that’s my favorite picture of her.
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u/ThrowRa_gift_toomuch Sep 14 '24
My void died last summer (he was 16). That’s him in the pic below. He was my best friend from childhood. I went through a lot of trauma and he used to approach me for cuddles whenever I cried.
He came to me in dreams a few times after he passed. They’re very special and it’s so sad when they go. But it helps to remember that 15-16 years is a good full life for them. Imagine dying at 90 with your whole family surrounding you for cuddles. It’s really not the worst way to go, given that we all have our expiration dates.
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u/shadysam08 Sep 14 '24
Was a handsome lad. Sorry for your loss. I'll give my 2 voids some extra scratches for you.
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u/orph3us79 Sep 14 '24
One of my kitties just passed this summer. We called him Puna...he was a sweet sweet boy. We had him for a whopping 23 years.
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u/ImNoRickyBalboa Sep 14 '24
I'm sorry. This never gets any easier. Cherish all the happy memories. The most important things is what you are already doing through palliative care: making sure her last days are comfortable and spare her any suffering. Sometimes that's all we can do.
Godspeed.
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u/Porkbossam78 Sep 14 '24
It’s not cheesy, cats are such a big part of our lives. We see them every time we come home. We’re excited to come home to see them. Our days are based around them. They are excited to see us! Mortimer is such a cutie pie. Enjoy your last days together. Hopefully we will be reunited one day with our loved kitties ❤️
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u/giantwalrus56 Sep 14 '24
Much easier said than done, but try to think about the now & what was, instead of what's coming. Really sorry...
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u/Universe_W_Lee Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 14 '24
I had a void 20 years ago. She was a gentle soul who I relied on so much through tough times. After she passed away, I thought I’d never have another cat like her. Then one day a random cat showed up out of nowhere and she was so much like my first cat with her habits and personality. It made me wonder if the same cat had come back from the heaven because it missed me just too much. I just wanted to share this in case it brings you some comfort. Sending you and your void prayers 🥺
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u/jmcianos Sep 14 '24
He’s beautiful!
I’m happy I got 13 years. I knew it was going to happen, but I can’t believe it happening. She’s my little girl.
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u/jenyj89 Sep 14 '24
I’m so sorry!! She’s a beautiful girl and will always be with you in your heart. 💜
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u/Ohnoherewego13 Sep 14 '24
I'm so sorry. I don't think I have any words really. Just spend as much time with her as you can and remember the good times.
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u/kweefcake Sep 14 '24
The only thing we can do is love them and be there for them in ways they have been for us. She will find you to be a comfort. And give yourself some grace through your grief.
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u/Pattyannlu Sep 14 '24
She is a beautiful baby. My heart aches for you and Mortimer. Saying goodbye to our precious fur babies hits different from other losses. You are giving her the very best care and she is lucky to have you. Blessings for your many years together. Sending you love and peace ♥️🐈⬛
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Sep 14 '24
all they ask for is to be respected and loved. But remember the void chose you, and expected no less..for she loved you from the moment she set eyes upon you. You entered in a agreement of care...including the alleviating pain, and also the ending of the pain . You've years of memories between you both..and with that said...she's never really gone...as long as you remember..always
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u/LurchKIttyInTheCIty Sep 14 '24
OP, I am going through the same thing with my 5 year old void and it sucks. I completely understand your pain. FUCK CANCER.
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u/MikeHawclong Sep 14 '24
Mortimer has known nothing but love and compassion since being in your care. Take comfort in knowing that.
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u/Superfry88 Sep 14 '24
God bless you and your kitty. It's important to have someone who can be there for you when you need it the most.
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u/darnellsw Sep 14 '24
I’m so sorry for your loss. Mortimer looks precious and you are lucky to have each other.
In case you want something to create ambiance, there is a beautiful album (available on all streaming services) called Music for Cats Album One. Lovingly made by a man who figured out what kinds of sounds set cats at ease. It sounds beautiful to humans too. When my void Tanya was in her final days, I played it a lot and it brought us both some calming and comfort.
Sweet wishes in the days ahead 🖤
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u/66LSGoat Sep 14 '24
My void was there for me when my woman decided she didn’t love me anymore. It was the worst time in my life, so far. The best part of my day was waking up to him asking for a snuggle before work. He crossed the rainbow bridge a couple years later at 16. He’ll alway be my favorite cat, for how snuggly and loving he was.
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u/Zealousideal-Bug-168 Sep 14 '24
OP has had her for 13 years, but she has had OP for nearly all of her life.
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u/Joey_JoJo_Jr_1 Sep 14 '24
I'm so sorry... and there's nothing cheesy about this in the slightest. She's beautiful.
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u/Boring_Election_1677 Sep 14 '24
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry you are going through this. Mortimer looks like a sweet little baby. 🐈⬛❤️
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u/struggle_bus_nation Sep 14 '24
You’re a wonderful cat mama and she is so lucky to have found you. ♥️ I am so sorry, OP. She is beautiful.
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u/holy-ravioli Sep 14 '24
What a beautiful gal. I’m sure she loves you just as much as you love her.
This part, these final moments (however long it may be), is always the hardest. Mortimer’s story is coming to a close, but her story is one full of many happy memories that you will cherish for a long time.
Would you feel comfortable sharing something about Mortimer? Does she have a favorite place in the house, or a funny way of getting your attention?
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u/jmcianos Sep 15 '24
She was a feral cat who lived in the alley behind my house and she used to taunt me but never get close. Then one day, after about three months, she jumped in my lap while I was outside reading a book. Two days later, she wanted to come inside my house and she never left. She likes to sleep under the covers with me, and would bat my face with her paw whenever I was asleep to get my attention. I’ve never minded and was happy to give her all my attention whenever she asked.
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u/GrapefruitOutside572 Sep 14 '24
Know that every one of us on this have been where you are. We all grieve with you. Know how much Mortimer loved you and hold that love in your heart forever. Peace my friend. Mom of two voids (right now)
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u/MajesticGarbagex Sep 14 '24
Sending my love and healing 🖤 Cancer can fuck off. It’s a horrible disease. I have terminal human cancer. Defiant imagine being an animal and not being able to tell anyone how sick you are.
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u/theageofawkwardness Sep 14 '24
I got a tribute tattoo of my void, he lived to be almost 20. I miss that guy every day.
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u/suavewolf Sep 14 '24
Mortimer looks like a beautiful girl ❤️ My void means more to me than most people, my heart hurts for you and what you're dealing with. Sending hugs!
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Sep 14 '24
She came from the void and will return to it. I’m sure she had a really good time here 🖤🖤
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u/themoonmightbecheese Sep 14 '24
It is never cheesy. We have been blessed with these sweet, sinless creatures. They teach us so much and give us so much joy and comfort. I’m so grateful that we get to live with them. Sending you hugs ❤️
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u/BeautifulGloomy4665 Sep 14 '24
My void 17 years old had to go 2 weeks ago. My poor baby stopped eating and has had a thyroid problem for years
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u/ryenaut Sep 14 '24
We’re all dying, just at different speeds. /hj
Do your best not to borrow grief from the future and enjoy the time you have with her now. It’s a tragedy that their lifespans are so short compared to ours.
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u/justanormalchat Sep 14 '24
I’m so sorry, it’s never easy but hopefully she can cross the rainbow bridge in peace 💔
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u/LiWin_ Sep 14 '24
Please give her all the loves and attention you can.
You cry and laugh at the good times you two have had over the time you had her.
Please stay with her to you no longer can.
It will hurt but I promise (from someone who lost his void this year)
Things do get better and you be okay too.
What is this beauty name?
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u/Naganofagano Sep 14 '24
I am so sorry. I just went through the same thing a few weeks ago. My soulmate cat also had cancer. He was 15 and I had him since he was 2 months old. I miss him terribly.
Just spend as much time with her as possible. Especially one on one time. I wish I had more with mine but it was hard with a toddler. She knows your love for her and knows how much you have cared for over the years. I hope you can really cherish these final days together.
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u/Thebobjohnson Sep 14 '24
A physicist eulogy, my go-to that I like to share.
I too recently lost my void after a bout of illness, I hope the words I shared give you solace and comfort.
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u/KA3BEE Sep 14 '24
This made me cry. I haven't been able to bring myself to post, but my 4 year-old void, Pluto, passed away last week. He was hit by a car. I was waiting outside of the business I asked to cremate him so I could see him one last time before the cremation took place. Then I got a call from the county animal care facility.
Someone stored Pluto in the wrong place for microchipped pets/ pets with owners. He was cremated with a group of pets that weren't so fortunate. I did not see him one last time, and I did not get to bring his cremated remains home.
I've been speechless, sad, disappointed, and outraged. Thank you for the reminder that his furry form may be gone, but his energy will always be here.
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u/Objective_Ratio_4088 Sep 14 '24
Every single day you were together, she knew she was loved. I've heard it said that when our pets pass, they're going ahead of you, not going away.
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u/Draquiri Sep 14 '24
It's always incredibly difficult to watch as their sweet lives take on different paths.
I had my wonderful void for about 18 years. She was a timid little kitten, and I grew up with her alongside her and her sassy orange sister. I've lost both of them now, but I still miss them in all their silly antics.
I hope you get as much time with her as possible. You've got all the love from this corner of the internet. 🧡
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u/picklesthecat556 Sep 14 '24
I'm soo sorry for your predicament. Mortimer will always be with you. In your heart and soul. 😥 My thoughts are with you both ...❤️❤️❤️
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u/daddyschomper Sep 14 '24
What a beautiful void, you are lucky to have loved each other, and I'm sorry for your heartache.
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u/Toohigh2care Sep 14 '24
My void is 14 and I can see him aging. He is such a wonderful cat. By far the worst part of loving these guys is saying good buy.
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u/wendx33 Sep 14 '24
I’m so, so sorry—we just lost our sweet, chatty, snuggly little weirdo Lola to cancer in May. She had just turned nine. I miss her so much, and am so glad we had a few extra months with her, but it just sucks. Big hugs and shared grief to you.
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u/AntiSnoringDevice Sep 14 '24
May you be strong and may you be there as Mortimer ascends to become part of the night sky. I am so sorry.
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u/trashy_boner Sep 14 '24
Our voids fill our own emotional voids in ways they can’t comprehend. And you gave her love and care in return. The best quid pro quo anyone can ask for.
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u/Rydrslydr715 Sep 14 '24
Be glad of the years you had with her is all I can really say, you made her happy and she made you happy, and that’s what really matters, I can only really offer my condolences.
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u/oscorn Sep 14 '24
Don't give the loss. You were his entire life. How lucky your sweet Kitty had it. I'm so sorry op. Never forget how much you mean to your baby.
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u/pauljean613 Sep 14 '24
My void just passed aways this past August from cancer as well. First time having to experience the passing of my own pet. Tearing up just thinking about it again. Please hug her and cuddle with her as much as you as can with the remaining time left.
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u/Enginiteer Sep 14 '24
It's not cheesy to say she is your best friend. I lost a cat, and he was my best friend. The flip side to love is loss. It makes us better people, and it's more than some ever have. Still f-ing hurts. I don't know if you are religious or not, but it kind of helps me to think that God gave him to me, and he went back to God.
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u/Blkkitty15 Sep 14 '24
I'm so terribly sorry that your time with Mortimer is coming to an end. I lost my void to cancer as well. I can tell from the photo how much she loves you. Sending lots of love to you both. ❤️
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Sep 14 '24
I’m sorry!!!! But please please take some time for yourself, be good to yourself like miss Mortimer would want you to do! And know that you must have given her a beautiful life - please take solace in that!! That her days were filled with love, kindness, playtime, snuggling, zoomies, and all the things that brought her life joy because of YOU.
🖤🖤🖤
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u/Friendly-Channel-480 Sep 14 '24
I am so sorry for your loss! She’s beautiful! I wish you healing and hope that you find another best friend soon to help you with your recovery.
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u/Northren-Harvest Sep 14 '24
Mortimer beeee quiet !! ❤️❤️❤️ I am so sorry
It makes me think of that Robert munch story
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u/Appropriate-Buy965 Sep 14 '24
Damn… im so sorry to hear that. i hope things go smoothly for you. words can not express the sadness right now amongst us. 🖤🖤
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u/TLEToyu Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 14 '24
My buddy is 20 and still spry but I dread the day he passes but I also know he will have lived a good life
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u/Top-Television-6618 Sep 14 '24
Have you seen a vet for your Void?
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u/jmcianos Sep 14 '24
Yeah, she’s in palliative care until it’s time to euthanize, and that’s unfortunately going to be tomorrow. I can’t believe I’m about to lose her.
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u/d1sasterology Sep 14 '24
Oh, she is beautiful. Fifteen years is a long time for a cat to live; I’m sure she’s had the most loving and fulfilling life with you. The loss of a pet is horrible and sad, but just think of how happy she feels to be able to spend these 13 years of her life with someone that loves her so dearly.
I’m not sure if you believe in the afterlife or reincarnation, but if you do, I’m sure you’ll meet again. <3
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u/amethystpineapple Sep 14 '24
Nothing cheesy about it. Your love is true and pure. She knows it. And your spirits will be together forever.
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u/Appropriate_War_4797 Sep 14 '24
I'm sorry that you and your void are going through this.
Just don't let her suffer when the time comes.
I did it for my cat and I regret it every day since. I let her suffer a week because I was under the impression that her condition was benign (it was winter, she was getting old, I thought she just got some sort of cold) and that damn doctor didn't told me it was a terminal condition.
When I saw another doctor a week after because her condition was deteriorating fast, they told me it was late stage cancer and she was suffering a lot, I was angry with myself for letting that happen, I decided to let her go.
I miss her, a lot.
My heart is with you OP and your void.
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u/tellmeaboutyourcat Sep 14 '24
My little shadow passed in '22 at about 15 yo. I had her for 14 years and she was always by my side. She would curl up with me in the little spoon spot at night. I loved her so much - I got her footprints tattooed on my arm.
Nothing can replace someone who has been there for over a decade. You forget what it's like to live without them. Life before they showed up starts to feel like a past life that lives only in a half remembered dream. They're so much a part of your life that they are more than family
Give yourself room and time to grieve. Some people might roll their eyes - these are people who see pets as accessories or property, not as family. But remember, this animal knows you better than any other person in your life. They have been with you every day, every night. When everyone else goes home, your cat is there with you. When you're sick, when you're broken hearted, when you're happy. So they carry a lifetime of memories with them.
Saying goodbye to our furry friends is like closing the book on part of your life. You're grieving not just the loss of your friend, but the end of an era.
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u/hyperfixationss Sep 15 '24
I carry all of my pets with me. She is a guardian and you will always be able to remember her for comfort <3
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u/Desm0nd_TMB Sep 15 '24
My void is 4. She’s my best friend. I’m extremely guilty of mourning her and my other cat even though they’re so young because I don’t know that I can handle going through that sort of thing again when the time comes. I’m so sorry you have to go through this and I’m so sorry you have to feel this pain but I’m so happy that you got to experience her life and having her in your life.
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u/nicolena-howard Sep 15 '24
Give her a baby boop and a nose bridge scratch from me. I love you Mortimer 🐈⬛🖤🖤🖤
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u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24
In the quiet corners of our lives, there are companions who fill the spaces with their gentle presence. Your dear void has been a silent guardian, a little shadow who walked with you through the years, offering love without words. At 15 years old, she’s been a witness to so many moments, a comfort in times both good and bad. Though her body is tired and the time has come to say goodbye, her spirit will always linger in the places she loved and in the hearts she’s touched. She’s more than just a cat; she’s a piece of the love and memories that will stay with you forever. May her journey be peaceful, and may you find comfort in knowing she felt your love every step of the way.