r/blackladies • u/sulapeace93 • 11h ago

Dating/Relationships/Sex 🍑🍆 Getting over a breakup

I recently ended a 4 month long relationship with a man I became very attached too very soon. I am 31 now and I don’t crash out over men too often but I am hurt. No clue why I am so hurt because he didn’t do much for me and I lowered my standards to be able to justify why I was dating him- but it hurts all the same. I have it planned to workout more (core restorative yoga, and more walks) and to get back into my hobbies (woodworking, candle making, heavy reading) but I still want to free my mind of this man. I know that no matter how busy I make myself, I will still think about him and how I ended it (with 10 drunk but very truthful texts at 8pm). I wanted to ask advice on how to reroute my mind so I won’t obsess over this. I’m sorry this is long winded, I hope for a little bit of clarity from any likeminded women. Thank you 🤍

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12

u/Kitt0001 9h ago

You’re hurt because you lowered your standards. I think this is more of a disappointment within yourself rather than anything to do with the man. Sounds like you got a plan in mind, break ups suck with time you won’t even remember this man’s name anymore. & don’t lower your standards again ! 💛💛💛 wishing you healing.

2

u/sulapeace93 9h ago

thank you so much for saying this. you are so kind 🤍

2

u/lavasca 6h ago

If you have pals nearby schedule a few silly nights for dumb Movies and pajama parties. DIY spa days, local road trips and a themed 5k/10k/25k.

1

u/Inevitable-Ad-7096 5h ago

I didn’t see therapy listed but that’s a great way to process your trauma