r/monkeyspaw 2d ago

Fun I wish for 100 girlfriends who really really really really REALLY love me.

356 Upvotes

261 comments sorted by

330

u/minecraftisbetter644 2d ago

Granted. However, since this is real life and not an anime or rom com, they all quickly realize that what they want is impossible given how many women also want you. This leads to 1 of 2 scenarios. Either all of them give up on their love for you on the grounds that there's too much competition, or they fight each other for it and the last one remaining gets EXTREMELY possesive over you, never allowing you to go out in public alone lest more women fall for you.

116

u/Myrvoid 2d ago

Yandere sounds pretty anime to me

28

u/AntimatterTNT 2d ago

the one character type 100 girlfriends wont touch

6

u/SolKaynn 2d ago

Until they come out with a Yandere that's obsessed with Chadtaro AND all the girlfriends.

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6

u/neko-boy324 2d ago

Yandere battle royale

2

u/Stanek___ 1d ago

I need to see this as an anime now

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29

u/Duo-lava 2d ago

bro said its not anime. then spent the rest of the time explaining how its anime

2

u/Aggressive_Size69 1d ago

extremely obsessive women (and men for that matter) are real. i think they meant that as in it"s not gonna be a harem situation.

2

u/HubblePie 1d ago

He means not the specific anime (100 Girlfriends who really really REALLY love me is an actual anime. Honestly it's kind of funny. It mocks a lot of the rom com tropes and has some funny references in it).

8

u/BreakerOfModpacks 1d ago

OR we assume all are perfect logicians, and spend exactly 3.65 days with OP every year. However, since each one wants to maximize their time spent, OP is constantly dragged across the world from different arrangements. 

3

u/Optimal-Income-6436 2d ago

Damn that's some battle royale going on xD

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2

u/kylemkv 2d ago

John Nash would be proud

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92

u/CreativestName69420 2d ago

Granted. They are constantly following you everywhere you go. They also constantly fight each other over you.

57

u/Massive-Sun639 2d ago

My 100 Yandere Girlfriends Who Really Really Love Me

And....now I'm down to 20, damn they work fast, and down to 10 and we have a winner!... and she just bled out.

runs away from 100 bloodstained corpses

3

u/TheOnlyCanadianEver 1d ago

Mr Rogers in a bloodstained sweater

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68

u/MegaTreeSeed 2d ago

Granted, the box set of The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Love You appears in your room. The title however has a miss print of "me" where "you" would originally be.

28

u/gameinggod21 2d ago

Hey it's free at least

17

u/TheGreatDaniel3 2d ago

Monkey’s Paw actually giving a net positive is surprising

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30

u/Doggystyle_Rainbow 2d ago

Granted, each one os more beautoful than the last and they all love you. However, they have the worst hygiene of anyone you have ever met, and you are constantly surrounded by 100 women with horrendous body odor who never brush their rotting teeth.

12

u/consider_its_tree 2d ago

To be fair, assuming no two people are exactly the same level of beautiful, then any set of 100 people can be organized so that each is more beautiful than the last.

You are just sorting them by beauty, it doesn't say anything about HOW beautiful any one of them, or the group as a whole are

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114

u/CptJacksp 2d ago

The paw curls

They really love you like a good friend, but not in a romantically. In fact, they all have their own boyfriends. Since they are still always trying to hang out with you, you get beaten up a lot by their boyfriends.

25

u/No_Somewhere3062 2d ago

Well, can't i just invite their boyfriends to hang out with me too and get a group of 200 good friends?

Getting beat up isn't so bad if i get to have at least one friend

12

u/CptJacksp 2d ago

You can, sure. If you want to take the beatings, fine. That’s your choice.

9

u/Dolgar01 2d ago

No, because all the girls do is praise you to their bf. Leading to jealous beating for you followed consoling the girl after she gets dumped.

Plus no other woman will come near you, as you are perceived as taken.

5

u/Effective_Cold7634 1d ago

But OP said girlfriends , not 100 girl friends .

9

u/Beanfacebin 1d ago

You think the magical severed monkey paw gives a shit?

2

u/HydratedDehydration 1d ago

The way this is worded killed me 😭

21

u/Dragons_Den_Studios 2d ago

Granted. They're all mosquitoes and you end up with 100 mosquito bites.

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14

u/Ordinary-Easy 2d ago

Granted 

They only show their love at your memorial service. Rather awkward situation really ...

12

u/I_am_notagoose 2d ago

Granted. They are all grossly obese to the point of near-immobility, cartoonishly ugly, have appalling personal hygiene with foul-smelling weeping necrotic sores all over their bodies, horrible personalities, and fanatically believe in the exact opposite of all your most deeply-held personal beliefs (unless you’re into that, in which case they’re the opposite…)

5

u/Beanfacebin 1d ago

Jokes on you, it’s OPs kink

3

u/DictateurCartes 1d ago

dream bitch 😍😍😍

2

u/Dick_Weinerman 15h ago

Damn, bro is really the object of desire for the local all-female Nurgle cult

14

u/HaztecCore 2d ago

Granted: Each girlfriend is 1 year older than the next and they have an agerange between 6 and 106 years of age and they are very desperate for your particular love. Personality wise its a dice roll between ultra tsundere types , ultra insecure who will ask you even worse question than the one about worms. Submissives, Doms , girlbosses to girlfailures and every other character trope from serious dramas to rom-coms.

They will never break up with you and love you deeply but still will have any character flaw a human can possibly have. Enjoy your Harem.

11

u/TablePrinterDoor 2d ago

Yeah he’s going to jail for the ones who are 6-17

3

u/Ahreniir 2d ago

That's a lot of words to say they're just people of various ages and walks of life, no?

6

u/gameinggod21 2d ago

Why not start with 18

8

u/HaztecCore 2d ago

Gotta be extremly cursed somehow.

9

u/Objective_Suspect_ 2d ago

Granted.

They loved you so much they murdered you and consumed you, so you could never leave.

8

u/Objective_Suspect_ 2d ago

Death by snoo snoo

16

u/diobreads 2d ago

Granted.

They are all 90+yo.
I know you will say "Jokes on you I'm into that sh!t", do it.

13

u/gameinggod21 2d ago

Wait if i marry all of them and wait like 10 years i can inherit all their wealth.

10

u/diobreads 2d ago

I think you'll go to prison for that.

Where I live, people that old can sometime be counted as "not fully consenting adults".

What I'm saying is marring multiple 90yos back to back right after each one passes is bound to draw some attention.

4

u/tavuk_05 2d ago

But does unconsenting love truly love?

6

u/Inevitable_Quiet_432 2d ago

Granted. You are crushed to death by 100 girls trying desperately to remain in physical contact with you, then ripped to pieces as they all want to have a part of you to themselves. They love you so much they collect parts of you to wear as jewelry. One has a part of your lower jaw on a necklace. One has your scrotum made into a small handbag.

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4

u/Eight216 2d ago

Granted

They all fight one another to the death over you, ignoring any protests or attempts at peace from you. Maybe that last REALLY was just one too many?

Either way, predictably, the last remaining girlfriend is about 260 pounds worth of woman, built like a lumberjack and understandably battle scarred. She believes your children will be strong. If you disappoint her she may react violently.

11

u/MattyGWS 2d ago

Granted, 99 girls brutally die in a death match to be the one to be with you, and the winner is a big, butch, strong and ugly woman.

Now you've been arrested for having held a battle royal and the only person that visits you in prison is your new girlfriend

4

u/Apart_Macaron_313 2d ago

Conjugal visits are mandatory, twice a day. Yes, her nickname is Peggy, how did you know?

7

u/TrueReassembly 2d ago

Granted, but like in the show there is no 4th wall. You are aware that all of your 'reality' is being televised to thousands for the soul purpose of making them laugh at the preplanned things you get yourself into.

Enjoy your 100 girlfriends who really really really really REALLY don't exist

2

u/smoishymoishes 2d ago

"sole" not "soul"

6

u/Thick_Perspective_77 2d ago

Granted: you are never left alone, they are so in love with you (really x5) that they make your life near unliveable, impacting your work, social life. you cannot talk to other people because they get jealous, and are jealous of one another, meaning you are unable to enjoy your time with any of them

4

u/villageidiot90 2d ago

We can open a food truck together

3

u/Enzoid23 2d ago

Granted. Real life yanderes. Good luck

3

u/ThisIsForNakeDLadies 2d ago

Granted.  

But you don't know where each other are.  They're scattered amongst the 8 billion other people.  

3

u/MobiusMal 2d ago

Granted. No downside, after all having 100 women that will do anything to prove that they each love you more than the other 99 seems punishment enough. No time to yourself, no quiet, always arguing over who loves you more.

3

u/canatlas99 2d ago

Agreed, why add a curse when the wisher is so foolish

3

u/WoopsieDaisies123 2d ago

Granted. There’s no need for a monkeys paw twist, that’s just naturally not gonna end well lol

3

u/Dolgar01 2d ago

Granted. And your sexual preference has just shifted to male sheep . . .

3

u/antilumin 2d ago

Granted. You are a male Tomie.

3

u/nayfaan 1d ago

Granted.

You must spend quality time with every single one of them separately every day

6

u/Annual_Tourist_9085 2d ago

Granted. They all violently fight each other until only one is left, and she has been disfigured beyond recognition 

2

u/JohnnyMcBiscuit 2d ago

Granted. You realize though that it’ll be impossible to make each individual relationship meaningful while balancing the others, and that it’ll be impossible to match their love in return. Though their love may be unconditional, their fulfillment is not. You do what you can, try to get to know them, understand them, balance your relationships with them. But a man only has so much time in a day. Your old life feels like a foreign memory as your new one becomes a series of shallow dates and courtships. What was once an exciting assortment of personalities to consume has become a laundry list of tedium. Slowly, yet clearly, they each begin to see themselves for what they are, for what they were meant to be. A hundred lives devoted to the emotional greed of one man, obsessed solely from a compulsion not a single one of them understands, yet remain reluctantly driven by. Their eyes are painfully opened like a wound formed by a thousand paper cuts. Hearts broken, yearning for a love which cannot reasonably be reciprocated amongst their own multitudes. And so a hundred endings ensue, and you know you should feel some kind of pain from the look in her eyes every time, from the hopes she expresses and the heavy truth that you see so clearly has become apparent. And yet, the thing that hurts the most is seeing how these people whose names alone are still a struggle to keep track of share this deep pain which you know, ashamedly so, that you cannot possibly reciprocate. And so in the end, you sit alone, your old life irreparable, and your relationships eternally doomed. Your solace is all that remains, taunted by the empty promise of the decaying and putrid monkey’s paw.

2

u/gameinggod21 2d ago

Insert man read book on fire

2

u/Dick_Weinerman 15h ago

Beautiful 🤌

2

u/thmaniac 2d ago

Granted. You now have 100 girlfriends.

2

u/Rinnzu 2d ago

Granted. . . Good luck.

2

u/EudamonPrime 1d ago

They really love you, so they chain you up in the basement. To keep you safe.

2

u/Intelligent_Doggo 1d ago

Granted, but they all take turns on you everyday

2

u/TetheredAvian74 2d ago

granted. they all smoke weed. (please someone get this reference)

3

u/gameinggod21 2d ago

I don't sadly

3

u/simplyyy-dollie 2d ago

god the house would smell so heavily of smoke from their bunts 

3

u/smoishymoishes 2d ago

Blaze, Chas-Chas, and Funk hardly have enough blue hair dye to go around! OP Jory now has to work multiple full-time jobs to afford their lavish weed, hair dye, and stocking lifestyles 😞

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1

u/ToeGroundbreaking564 2d ago

wish granted. all of them want to be your ONLY girlfriend. leading them to kill each other since it's the only way to stop the others from loving you. and whoever is the last one standing, also kills anyone you're even remotely close to.

1

u/BigBandit01 2d ago

Granted. All 100 girlfriends manifest on top of you, and somehow, you survive. Not all of them do, but the remaining ones are extremely jealous. They fight each other to the death for your love and affection. After a few moments of watching this legendary clash, you realize you need to flee. One of the girlfriends is a giant hulking 600 pound 20 foot tall actual monster, and kills the remaining girlfriends. She has conquered all that stands between herself and you, and now she is chasing you down. I leave the rest up to you OP. Godspeed o7

2

u/MikeLovesOutdoors23 2d ago

Hey I would love her. Why not?

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1

u/EndIntelligen 2d ago

Granted, you now have 100 yanderes who wanna kill you

1

u/razzemmatazz 2d ago

Granted. 

The first one finds you after seven days. She is so excited to finally meet you and professes her love then shyly asks if she can hold your hand. You both go out on a lovely date and spend the night at your place.

Two days later the door rings and it's another girlfriend. The first girlfriend looks pissed, but she's bad at confrontation and the second girlfriend doesn't seem to mind. Everywhere you go they are each grabbing your entire arm. They never stop talking about how much they love you, almost like it's a competition. You're starting to lose sleep because they both snuggle against you and won't let you get comfortable.

The next day you wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare and remember that in your wish you had asked for 100 girlfriends. 

You hear the doorbell ring and realize this hell is only just beginning.

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1

u/RoyalMess64 2d ago

Granted. They are stalkers and keep you as a pet

1

u/RookieGreen 2d ago

Granted. You are stuffed to death with hot dog filling in an incredibly complex and freak accident. 100 women mysteriously show up at your funeral all claiming to be your girlfriend and they all love you. This causes a bit of a fracas (an understatement 17 people died and 44 are in jail awaiting trial) and your reputation and legacy, if you had any, is ruined.

No one could get past the memes to ask why 100 women who never met you suddenly loved you.

The incident does show up on multiple”besf ofs” compilations on YouTube, however.

1

u/a_engie 2d ago

Granted, they love killing you, you are stuck in a cycle of infinite girlfriend caused deaths, technically you don't die as the cycle get reset each time

1

u/vpr77 2d ago

granted. they all love you so much that they can’t bare the thought of someone else loving you, so they brutally murder each other in a series of tooth-and nail fights until only one remains. after putting in so much effort to have you to herself, she can’t risk anyone else falling for you ever again, so she murders you, too.

1

u/axiswolfstar 2d ago

Granted. They really really hate each other.

1

u/jeo123 2d ago

Granted but they're all psychopathic. As requested, they really really really really REALLY love you. Not just some of you, every part of you. They love your hair. Your Eyes. Your skin. Your organs. Your blood.

Every... single... part...

All of them want you. As much of you as they can get their hands on. They don't hate each other, so they won't fight each other to the death, it'll be more like a zombie hoard feeding as they all try to get as much of "you" as they can.

Enjoy.

1

u/No-Cardiologist7640 2d ago

Granted, 100 girlfriends really really REALLY love you to leave their soiree.

1

u/Sussicus 2d ago

Granted you get 100 gfs who love you but you can't hold them since you would crush them with your brand new monkey hands.

1

u/UlteriorCulture 2d ago

Granted. They love you. You don't love them.

1

u/PD28Cat 2d ago

They love you and pile up on you.

Death by crowd crush.

1

u/Adventurous-Snow5676 2d ago

Granted. You understand the consequences slightly worse than the human male’s average understanding of the opposite sex since the beginning of time.

1

u/momoemowmaurie 2d ago

Granted you are a one hit wonder and you have exactly 100 gf from your tour who will likely fuck another dude with a decent song too.

1

u/Aiwaszz 2d ago

Granted. 100 AI girlfriends and it costs you monthly to maintain them and no cancelling the subscription

1

u/Ok_Tea2304 2d ago

granted now they all breakup with you because youre cheating on all of them

1

u/MasterAnnatar 2d ago

Granted. They all think you're exclusive and when the mask inevitably slips you have 100 ex girlfriends who were crazy levels of attached that now hate your guts. I'm sure this will go great for you.

1

u/DoArByse 2d ago

A finger had been curled, the paw is does not understand genders thus it just gave you 100 friends instead.

1

u/SteveMartin32 2d ago

Granted there all yanderas with hate each other. Only one can survive and it may not be you.

1

u/carl-the-lama 2d ago

Granted

As a food

Prepare to run!

1

u/c_dubs063 2d ago

Granted. They are all fanatic psychos, and they gradually kill each other off in increasingly violent and gory displays in an effort to be the last one left to get you all to herself.

Oh, and you just so happen to find none of them attractive whatsoever. But you can't get rid of them. They will find you.

1

u/Dziadzios 2d ago

Granted. You get full box set with all episodes of the anime. 

1

u/grandoctopus64 2d ago

Granted. Most people love their partners until they find out said partners have other partners.

All yours find out.

1

u/Armin_Arlert_1000000 2d ago

Granted. But you can't love all of them back. So they stop loving you 

1

u/invalidlifeform 2d ago

Granted they’re all mad you for cheating on them and leave you

1

u/ValitoryBank 2d ago edited 2d ago

Granted but they all love you as you are right now and if you change or grow in any meaningful way they stop loving you as they only love the you that you were when making the wish.

1

u/solodsnake661 2d ago

Granted, you very quickly get crushed

1

u/Osherono 2d ago

Granted. Oh by the way, your ex gf? You know, the crazy she bitch who never left you alone until you ran away and changed your name? Yeah, that one.

She wanted you to die of real life Snu Snu.

Never had an ex gf like that you say?

Well...if you believe it enough, it becomes a reality, right?

Right...

Just because you never noticed it doesn't mean you weren't a couple.

Oh and she was veeeeeeeery specific too. She said Rice Crispies Snu Snu.

Snap. Crackle. Pop.

Have fun...

1

u/Horror_Incident2003 2d ago

granted. but they hate each other

1

u/Street_Buyer402 2d ago

Wish granted. They start k*long each other out of jealousy 

1

u/3DKlutz 2d ago

I've seen this anime

1

u/redditorialy_retard 2d ago

Granted, you get strapped and used as a fucktoy, sounds fun? You won’t be having fun after the 28th consecutive rounds in 18 hours, then hours turn to day, then months. You would be wishing for death but THEY won’t let you die

1

u/Any-Professional5761 2d ago

Congrats! Your now a male lion! Enjoy 😉

1

u/CurbYourPipeline420 2d ago

Granted. The one that loves you the most poisons your next meal so nobody else can have you.

1

u/Pedsgunner789 2d ago

Granted. The paw curls.

A curse befalls the world such that everyone except you and 100 women die. As the only man left alive, the women have no choice but to love you. To ensure the human race does not go extinct, they imprison you “for your safety”.

1

u/goatjugsoup 2d ago

Granted, they spawn into existence on top of you at the same time. You are completely crushed to death and so are some of the girlfriends. The survivors are mortified that they just killed the one they love. Some of them battle to the death. Others suicide.

1

u/Edgar_Brown 2d ago

Granted.

On your tombstone it’s written: he didn’t account for tough love.

1

u/consider_its_tree 2d ago

Granted, they are absolutely going to be pissed at you when they find out you have 99 other girlfriends, and there is a pretty good chance that at least 1% of people tend to get violent when betrayed so extremely.

1

u/TemporaryAd1682 2d ago

Granted. Each one is afflicted with an illness that increases slightly severity for every hour they spend around you. Those that leave suffer depression from missing you, and those that stay slowly wither and rot to death.

1

u/Mar_Reddit 2d ago

Granted

100 girlfriends who really really really really REALLY love you arrive at your doorstep.

Curiously, exactly 100 people you know are suddenly unreachable. Parents, siblings, family, friends, 100 random people you know are suddenly no contact.

Weird.

1

u/GlorkUndBork3-14 2d ago

Granted you're now a pulsing mound of ever regenerating cheese and chocolate, with a built in wine fountain.

1

u/LordBaal19 2d ago

Granted, they are all the exact oposite of your tastes, they are all also living in countries and regions far away.

1

u/GroundbreakingOil434 2d ago

You don't. Three is hard enough. I never look for more, as time is a limited commodity. (Polyamorous connections)

1

u/Itchy-Picture-4282 2d ago

Granted. Their love language is pegging you.

1

u/Expungednd 2d ago

Granted. You now have lice.

1

u/Frossils 2d ago

Granted. As your girlfriends begin to show up at your door one by one, you notice something odd. A sheen to her skin, a distant gaze, unusual bumps on the skin. The telltale black spots finally give it away. Black Death is just the first of the diseases they bring. Each girl seems infected with a different contagious malady... on top of the supernatural compulsion to be with you no matter what. 

Good luck. I think you're going to need it!

1

u/Stenric 2d ago

Granted, a bootleg manga of that name is published. Unfortunately it's trash.

1

u/MuffinMaster88 2d ago

I feel like alot of these answers are not extreme enough. The Paw grants the literal meaning with manevolance

One hundred women, simultaneously and obsessively in love, begin appearing. Not normal love pathological, monomaniacal, relentless love. Each one truly believes the wisher is their everything.

They track you. Follow you. Love turns to obsession. They quit their jobs, abandon families, compete violently with each other. Every moment of your day is consumed by their presence. There is no escape. Restraining orders fail because, somehow, legally or metaphysically, they are permitted to remain near.

The sheer emotional weight, social chaos, and sleep deprivation result in cognitive degradation. Ypu begin to hallucinate, or maybe not are there more than 100 now?

1

u/Financial-Tiger-650 2d ago

They live you so much they fight for your organs and tear you apart

1

u/avery917 1d ago

Granted. All of them are so obsessed over you that they all end up killing each other over you, and you end up left with no one

1

u/platysoup 1d ago

People don't get along that well in real life bro. Guarantee you get a nice boat before gf 10

1

u/DrScorcher 1d ago

Granted, however you are not Rentarou. You are unable to get in a relationship with all 100 and will have to see them perish one by one due to not getting together with their soul mate.

1

u/GoldenGlassBall 1d ago

Granted. One woman arrives a day for the next 100 days, each claiming to have been given a vision of you in which they fell madly in love at first sight.

However, as the burden becomes increasingly greater to divide your attention among the number of girlfriends slowly climbing towards 100, they begin to become more emotionally distraught.

Eventually, a little after 3 months in, the 100th arrives. It’s a breaking point for some... For enough. A war between them breaks out, quickly cascading in intensity, as they tear each other apart in an effort to get to you, to be with you, to protect you, to love you, to be the only one who does so you can love them the same way. During the ensuing bloodbath, some find their way to you, and, in a desperate attempt to get you away from the others, you are literally torn limb from limb by your lovers gone mad, as the only thing they can fathom is getting you someplace where none of the others are. Those remaining kill themselves in grief over the fact that they hurt the one they loved.

The police eventually get wind of the situation from dozens of missing persons reports placing these people in the same vicinity as their last known locations. They notice the smell first when they finally arrive.

You and your 100 girlfriends (of which none survived, none having run away from the conflict due to the depths of their affection) have rotted into a congealed mess together after weeks of undiscovered decomposition equal to an unburied mass grave, oozing into the ground, together forever. They all really, really, REALLY loved you, and now, they will for all eternity.

1

u/DaisyLovesTheGlare 1d ago

Granted. They're yanderes.

1

u/Attentivist_Monk 1d ago

Granted. It goes pretty well for a while, you see them mostly in small groups, the hundred girlfriends get along alright, apart from some minor drama and personality issues. They have one really big thing in common that they talk about together. You.

They get together as a group and decide they all want to live with you. You’re the love of their lives. They’ll pool their resources and buy a large property, their lives dedicated to supporting and loving you. A few months into the construction of the sizable compound you start getting odd visits at the gates. First middle aged men in dark sunglasses asking pointed questions about the whereabouts of certain girlfriends, then families putting up missing persons signs.

They’re met with outraged girlfriends telling their sobbing mothers, fathers, exes and children they’ve found a new family. That they’re happier now serving their one true love, that their old families can’t understand their depth of devotion.

The girls arm themselves to defend you. The FBI gets involved, and the ATF. It leads to a bloody showdown in which all but you are either killed or commit suicide. You’re taken, pants-less, into custody. You are tried and convicted of multiple crimes and spend the rest of your life in prison.

You think, “worth it.”

1

u/Helix_PHD 1d ago

Granted. They all appear above you in a big ball of mass, crushing you instantly. But for that short moment, they loved you.

1

u/Wolfy4226 1d ago

Granted.

They're all the "If I can't have you no one can have you" Yandere.

1

u/Kind-Stomach6275 1d ago

They all very horny and have drugs to make you erect.

1

u/somerandom_296 1d ago

Granted!

They lock you in a basement. You are never seen again.

1

u/iwantdatpuss 1d ago

Granted but each and every single one is a high maintenance girl. 

1

u/No-Inflation-9253 1d ago

granted. They all love a guy named Me

1

u/Pisceswriter123 1d ago

Granted. You are trapped in their sex dungeon for the rest of your life.

1

u/Alternative-Tale1693 1d ago

Granted. You are now dating and deeply loved by one hundred of the most annoying women on Earth.

1

u/Lost-Artichoke5454 1d ago

Granted,

They learn of one another and an all out fight to the death begins. Each fights for your love harder than the last.

Dozens die before the last remaining survivors band together, whom realise that they love you so much that the only way they can share you is to cut you into tiny little pieces.

Some dismember your limbs and keep them preserved in jars that they worship in some voodoo pseudo religion.

Others feast on your remains if only to remind themselves of how much they love the taste of you.

1

u/Impossible-Sky4256 1d ago

Granted. They love you so much that start a battle royale and the winner takes you.

1

u/unsalted52 1d ago

Granted. They are all spoiled gold digger material girls and you will have to spend at least $10000 per week on each girlfriend

1

u/D3ZR0 1d ago

Granted. They all love you so much they’re willing to kill for your undivided love. You witness a horrifically bloody massacre as they fight each other to the death, with nothing but nails, teeth, and fists. After an hour of mutilated carnage, one final woman, bleeding, half beaten to death and with half her hair torn out, crawls to your feet and slumps unconscious. You may have one blooded warrior wife with a whole sleuth of medical and mental trauma. Her love proven to you and you alone among the corpses.

1

u/ConsumeMatter 1d ago

Granted, they are also blood related to you and anyone observing you and/or them can immediately discern that fact.

1

u/Tsperatus 1d ago

granted, but their love dwindles when they don't have skin contact with you and they live in different countries from you

1

u/OffBeatBerry_707 1d ago

Granted.

The women get into an absolute bloodbath of a battle royale for your heart, and among the 99 dead, mangled, and unrecognizable corpses, one rises as your partner for life.

Covered in the blood of 99 women, she’s not the most adorable nor sane person you made her out to be, it makes you question if you really love her…

1

u/Kirome 1d ago

Granted. You and all 100 gfs exist on 2 different planes of existence where you can't ever meet any of them.

1

u/MagnificentTffy 1d ago

Granted. A new game based on the popular manga/anime has released.

1

u/LulzyWizard 1d ago

They all have turbo aids

1

u/SelfDistinction 1d ago

Granted. You immediately succumb to the exhaustion of wanting to keep all your girlfriends happy, and die. All the girlfriends, having lost their one true love, then commit suicide.

(This is close to canon, btw)

1

u/coleofdragonarmy666 1d ago

Granted. The wish doesn't need a twist. That would be emotionally and physically exhausting. You start getting diminishing returns after like 3 at best. And it would be so much work to make everyone happy

1

u/JudoKuma 1d ago

Granted, you get the anime on dvd set. You did not pay for it. The one who paid for it will do anything he can to revenge you stealing his anime dvds.

1

u/Cheap-Camel9652 1d ago

The moment the words leave your lips, reality bends. A single finger curls, and a hundred women materialize before you, their eyes locking onto you with an intensity that borders on supernatural. Their love is immediate, all-consuming, and entirely unhinged.

The first rushes forward. "Can I have your number?" she breathes, trembling with infatuation. Before you can respond, another shoves her aside, eyes wild. "No, I need your number!"

What starts as a petty argument escalates in seconds. Voices rise to screams. Nails rake flesh. The first blow lands. Then another. Then another. Within minutes, your adoring horde has devolved into a full-scale riot, each one desperate to be the only love in your life. You try to intervene—big mistake. The moment you so much as glance at one, the others turn feral.

The first casualty is swift. A kitchen knife flashes. Blood sprays. But it doesn’t stop. Soon, makeshift weapons appear—lamps, scissors, fists. You flee, but the chaos follows. Strangers caught in the storm are trampled, collateral in a war for your affection. By nightfall, the city declares a state of emergency. The death toll climbs into the hundreds.

Months pass. The survivors have organized. You live in hiding now, married to one of the last remaining. But she knows. She always knew.

One night, you wake to the sound of glass shattering. Heart pounding, you creep upstairs—only to freeze as the cold muzzle of a shotgun presses against your forehead.

Girlfriend #67 smiles.

"You made us do this."

The last thing you hear is the roar of the 12-gauge.

As you step through the gates of Hell, you know one thing beyond all doubt:

It was all your fault.

1

u/Smoothesuede 1d ago

Ok

One of them is a drugged up piss loli.

1

u/Damodinniy 1d ago

You now have 100 Crazy Connie’s eyeing you.

1

u/RPhoenixFlight 1d ago

Granted, you are now a reverse Drake

1

u/ExtensionInformal911 1d ago

Granted. The DVD of the show gets mistakenly delivered to you by Amazon.

1

u/Excellent-Berry-2331 1d ago

Granted. Your skin is instantly harvested by them to make twisted jewelry.

1

u/Kriss3d 1d ago

You only need 3 girlfriends.

3 weed smorking girlfriends. To rub your shoulders when youre angry.

1

u/Thick_Description982 1d ago

Granted. They all try to hug you at once and you die.

1

u/yeet69420aaaaa 1d ago

Granted, they all love you and want to have sex with you but they all weigh at least 100 kg and are 5'2. Besides one who is 6'8 and sexy but she doesn't have any teeth and her nose is backwards

1

u/seyahgerg 1d ago

You get exactly what you think you want. 99 of these women's emotions are affected but 1 is simply positioned to meet you. She falls for you and you for her. Your emotions may or may not have been changed by the monkeys paw you don't know, but the other 99 are madly/sickly in infatuated with you and when they realize your feelings for the 1 they become violent and destructive to the only romantic relationship you now desire.

1

u/ACMEheadspace 1d ago

Granted. They are really really really really REALLY into vore.

1

u/SaioLastSurprise 1d ago

You get a single Valentine’s Day chocolate from your best friend every year instead of them because they’re all mad that they can’t be exclusive.

1

u/marcelsmudda 1d ago

Granted, they'll all develop a deadly disease that kills then within a year just as you fall in love with them

1

u/yallivia 1d ago

Granted. All of them are platonic though.

1

u/Boulange1234 1d ago

Granted. They’re all 25 year old tradwives, totally into you, like a harem anime or whatever. But they don’t work. They expect you to be the breadwinner times one hundred. They all want to have lots of babies with you, so pretty soon you’ll have an entire elementary school to support. Your grocery costs are going to be around $5,000 a day. Even before the kids are born, your grocery costs are gonna be around $1000-1200 a day. You’ll need at least a 100 bedroom house for all the kids, even sleeping barracks style, ideally a whole apartment building. How’s your income? Did you just win powerball or something? If not, this is going to be big trouble.

1

u/UnoriginalJ0k3r 1d ago

Granted. All 100 of their husbands are aware that you are the one their significant other is cheating with.

1

u/Full-Cardiologist476 1d ago

Die Toten Hosen Made the best answer to that: https://youtu.be/3CrdjXm3Z7A?si=mq5f1w776rdTSCa3

Wait till the end

1

u/SpinAroundTwice 1d ago

Granted. Death by snusnu ☠️

1

u/i_drink_bromine 1d ago

Granted they basically milk you

1

u/Mistress_of_Anarchy 1d ago

Granted. You know have a girlfriend cult who would do literally anything to be with you, including thinning their ranks in blood sport combat.

1

u/Worried-War-7178 1d ago

Granted, but they're not all human.

1

u/Physical_Bedroom5656 1d ago

Granted. It's fuckin' difficult to manage spending time with them without pissing others off, it's bloody expensive, and you have to (most likely poorly) mediate their petty grievances with each other.

1

u/Beginning_Drink_965 1d ago

Granted. Their love for you is all consuming.

And as it is all consuming, their desire can only be sated by consuming you.

You are eaten alive, genitals first.

1

u/MedianShift 1d ago

Granted but they are actually your half sisters.

1

u/okie-doki-doki 1d ago

Granted. They all love you. But their partners are aware that their girlfriends all love you, and become extremely jealous, to the point where they all wish violence upon you

1

u/Cold_Ad76 1d ago

Granted, they are the most ugly humans that have ever existed and because of that you dont want them so you have a 100 ugly af people following you everywhere, everyday, every moment and you end up killing yourself because you cant support a 100 people following you

1

u/broketoliving 1d ago

one is enough, with many girlfriends come many troubles

1

u/TaskFlaky9214 1d ago

Granted. You are surrounded by 100 female bears who REALLY love the taste of your flesh.

1

u/HPDTA112 1d ago

Granted, but they are all psychotically obsessed so they kill you to wear your skin like a robe and then fight each other for who gets to wear it.

1

u/jackstrikesout 1d ago

You now have at least 1 psychopath that is competing with other women to possess you. Good luck finding out which one is which.

1

u/AdEn4088 1d ago

Granted. 100 of your closest relatives are now madly in love with you. Better hope you’re in Alabama.

1

u/Telinary 1d ago

Granted, you also become like rentarou in that you love them to a degree that would be self destructive in a real person. And you are a real person without his ability to go past normal human limit, you however still feel compelled to try like he would.

1

u/mairerolin 1d ago

You think the hunger games was bad? Imagine 100 catty girls with a level 100 obsession in you. They decide to each accept a piece of you for prosperity as to satisfy that urge. One can be too loved it seems..

1

u/BobrOfSweden 1d ago

Okay! They will each try to kill each other or you to keep you from them or to themselves.

1

u/PotentialWerewolf469 1d ago

They go full the perfume on you and eat you alive to always have a little bit of you in them.