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u/Probably_a_monkey 1d ago
Granted. I have no funny thing to say. You go to hell instantly
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u/Blubasur 1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/digitL77 1d ago
Go with my blessings.
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u/Blubasur 1d ago
Appreciate it, apparently the mods didn’t like it but it will be a nice surprise for OP.
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u/Replay2play 1d ago
Granted. You fall unconscious and wake up strapped to a chair with your eyes forced open and your arms held down. You are forced to watch advertisements every second of your life as you are kept alive using the best medical technology in the world as your ultimate punishment for making this wish, fuck you.
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u/user29092021 1d ago
Granted. Thanks to your sacrifice, no one has to watch an ad ever again. But you, you get sent to a cube room with 6 full surface indestructible screens, all playing advertisements. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The only way to stop an advert is to buy every single thing the company has to offer. You have to do that for every separate advert from every separate company. You get basic food, basic amenities, and basic clothes. Even in your sleep, you will receive subliminal messages so even your dreams have ads
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u/captainjohn_redbeard 1d ago
Denied, even the paw isn't that evil.
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u/Megagamr 1d ago
The paw instantly transports everyone to a different world where skippable adds exist that is on the same tech development as us. You are stuck in your new reality and always get unskippable adds the second you watch a video and every 5 minutes in a video
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u/finest_kind77 1d ago
Granted. Now you see random advertisements every time you close your eyes for more than one second. One ad per second that your eyes were closed.
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u/c_dubs063 1d ago
Granted.
All ads are funneled directly to your accounts. You can neither skip nor ignore them. You are compeleld to pick up your phone and watch the ads at all times, like an addict. But that doesn't mean you enjoy it. Your life becomes a thoughtless hell of watching the same mobile game ads, AI TTS ads, weight loss drug ads, and poorly-veiled 18+ ads running over and over forever.
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u/SimiuloDG 1d ago
Granted. You become completely paralysed whenever you see an advertisement until it is no longer visible. You're compelled to stand/sit staring at billboards, walking in any urban area becomes slow, what with adverts on the sides of busses and taxis, you need somebody to physically move you away from shopfronts.
I wouldn't recommend driving...
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u/Chrono-Helix 1d ago
Granted. Every time you see a billboard with rolling advertisements, you are stuck staring at it, while advertisement after advertisement goes by, until the end of the day, when it finally turns off.
At night you turn on the TV, and accidentally switch to the home shopping channel, which runs from evening to morning. You are unable to sleep until the broadcast ends.
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u/RoxoRoxo 1d ago
granted, the first time you hit a tiktok/youtube short etc ad you brick your account whenever you reopen these sites youre just sitting there rewatching the ad on repeat
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u/Professional_List236 1d ago
Granted. Now the premium subscriptions for streaming services are 1 cent. And you pay as much as you earn/have in your bank account to random accounts in the world.
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u/TerryDaTurtl 1d ago
granted. every ad you get is the full lego movie that ran as a 2 hour youtube ad ages ago.
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u/Midnightbeerz 1d ago
Ad companies go nuts and now, tv shows have 10 minute ad breaks every 2 minutes, tv shows are glorified ads, and YouTube is rebounded "adtube"
There is a lot more, but let's just say, you wouldn't like them.
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u/ItaLOLXD 1d ago
Granted. Advertisements are actually really good now and no one wants to skip them anyways.
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u/Beluga_Artist 1d ago
Granted but all ads are now directed specifically at you. Whenever someone else would’ve had to sit through an ad, you now have to do so for them. The rest of the world is now ad free, but your life is nothing but ads. You’re forced to live until every ad in the queue is watched. You’ll eventually die, but it’ll be a long, long time, and you can do nothing but watch the ads.
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u/Cookie-fan 1d ago
Granted: all ads become years long wirh no way to skip and happen every 10 seconds every video
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u/The_Ora_Charmander 1d ago
Ummm... granted? I usually try to find the downsides in wishes, but right now I'm trying to find the upsides
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u/SilviaEaber 1d ago
granted. they have subliminal messages that mind control people into passionately hating you
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u/solodsnake661 1d ago
Granted everyone is also shown a 1minute ad explaining where you are, you don't make it a week
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u/Nuclear-Mech-Wizard 1d ago
Granted, the concept of an advertisement is immediately wiped from the human race's mind, so that all ads in existence are now unskippable
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u/Go_Stros_3512 22h ago
Granted. They are also banned on all websites, radio stations, streaming ng services, and TV stations.
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u/MeltyParafox 21h ago
Granted. You are transported back to 1962, where you are bombarded by advertisements for Winston's cigarettes, which taste good, like a cigarette should.
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u/HaveFunWithChainsaw 21h ago
Granted, you are now tasked to watch every ad behalf of the world which I do point out are unskippable. Your whole life will now be watching non-stop ads till you die.
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u/Individual_Dream3770 21h ago
YouTube magically loses most of its users after a poor decision to make all ad blockers unusable. Cue the unskippable ads
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u/LordMartius 3h ago
Granted. Now anytime somebody is supposed to see an ad, the ad is skipped for them; meanwhile time stops for you and you experience the full ad in its entirety, before time resumes like normal. Even if you die, your consciousness will be spun-up just to witness these ads. Doesn't work for cable TV because it's like 90% ads anyway.
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u/LordMartius 3h ago
Granted. Now all advertisements are forced to be non-intrusive sidebar banner ads.
Video intrusion advertisements are banned and cannot play before/during/after YouTube videos. Instead, a simple photo ad with an (X) button shows up at the bottom of monetized videos.
Pop-ups are banned, along with those invisible ads with a hitbox the size of an entire page (if you've ever been on KissAnime yk what I mean).
Ads are now unskippable, but because they're only still-images and contain no videos to skip. They are forced to be much friendlier and less annoying to users. The internet ad problem is now MUCH much better.
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u/imgotugoin 1d ago edited 22h ago
Granted. All advertisements for YOU become unskippable.