I'm 13, I know I'm probably not supposed to be on here but need to tell someone other than my parents I don't feel happiness or joy the was I used to my parents are divorced for probably 3 years now and my mom was addicted to alcohol. I've tried to ask people why but can't seem to get a real response. Every day seems as just another asset and means nothing. Nothing seems to stick out to me or make me enjoy anything. I have a girlfriend that I've been dating for probably a year and a half now and I'm starting to not care and act as if she isn't worth my time anymore. I treat my friends terribly all the time and can't just seem to sit down and enjoy what I have. Thank you for reading this

My dad just handed my mom the papers I don't know what else to say I'm just frozen in my bed

I (34m) have just one other sibling(37F) and she wishes I didn’t exist.

We were close when we were little but my psychotic conservative mom and emotionally absent father pitted her against me the older she got. She was the golden child. They invested so much time and money into her with extra curricular activities, learning instruments and they pushed her so hard to be a doctor because she was so good at school. They had her studying healthcare text books from a very young age. They even paid for her college, cars and living expenses in Seattle until she was 33 years old. The luxuries never ended for her.

On the other foot I was treated pretty bad growing up. It was a frequent occurrence for all three of them to gang up on me to destroy my self-esteem and remind me that I wasn’t smart enough to participate in whatever they were teaching my sister. As a result, when I started to get older and build my world view my sister started doing some really insane stuff to me. When we were younger she would set booby traps around our house and property to try and hurt me. She once tried to run my head over with her bicycle after she pushed me over. One time she even sent me down into a well because she told me there was a kitten that was stuck at the bottom and I needed to save it. When I reached the bottom of the muddy well in ankle deep water I looked up to see her dropping a softball sized rock down the well that struck me in the head and caused me to blackout for a several seconds. The way I fell backwards though prevented me from drowning and I had to crawl out of the well myself with a head injury because she literally left me to die. She once even beat me with a stick once so badly I couldn’t walk for two days and I had to crawl around the house because she bruised the tendons and ligaments in my legs. All because I pulled the carrot nose off her snowman she built. Hopefully some of these stories paint a picture of what I’m dealing with.

Now we’re adults and my sister never outgrew what my parents installed in her. She ended up dropping out of med school and majoring in English. She became a school teacher and barely scrapes by. Meanwhile I self-taught myself code and I work in tech industry today making six figures. She hates me for it and she literally told our parents and her friends that I was a drug dealer because none of them could accept that I just worked hard and made something of myself despite not finishing college.

I always gave her so many chances to right her wrongs with me but I’m done now. It all really clicked when a few years ago I had a heart operation that was quite invasive. My survival was likely but there was still a scarily large chance I was not going to make it. Fortunately I made it through and the first time I saw my sister after the operation she looked visibly upset. I tried to break the tension by giving her a smile and saying “I made it!”. She replied by rolling her eyes at me and saying “you want a cookie?”.

Idk why this is what broke me but it really hurt me deeply. I always forgave her because I knew she was so badly manipulated by my shitty parents and that wasn’t her fault. I was always waiting for her to grow out of it and become her own person and I would finally have my sister back. Today I’m done wasting my energy. I have a baby boy now and he’s literally my little clone. He is one year old and my sister has never once asked about him and has shown zero interest in meeting him. She doesn’t even know his full name. I need to accept that my son will grow up never knowing he has an aunty in another part of the country because I will not put my son in a position to be abused like I was. It just sucks and I don’t know how to not be angry and pissed off about this horrible hand I’ve been dealt.

Was just wondering if there is any truth to this statement or if it’s another internet saying that’s thrown around??

Hi I’m 24 and I feel like I’m a complete failure at this life thing. Life isn’t easy and I’m completely lost I barely graduated high school and was pressured into going to community college or I was gonna be homeless. I’ve only had one job and it was fixing phones and only got it cause my step dad was friends with the owner. I lost it cause it was too far after having to move. Especially since I had to uber cause I’m a wimp and is scared of driving. I have dropped out and my mom don’t know that’s I’ve been lying for years about going to class. Idk what to do. And it’s very easy to say just get up and do something but it’s really hard. Did I mention I’m a fats slob. Please help with some advice.

My husband and I (both early 50's) have been married for 30 years. He and I have always loved and respected each other. We've worked through most of our challenges over the years, and I have always been confident we'd last.

After 30 years of marriage there are areas that we need to reassess, renegotiate, and revive. What's standing in the way is that we are now very politically divided. I cannot say with certainty that I am all in, and that breaks my heart.

I want to at least try therapy as we have 30 years invested together. How do we choose a therapist who won't take sides (politically)? I am hoping we can find a safe space where we can talk openly about our beliefs and I can identify where he stands about the things that critically define who I am.

As of right now, I have lost a lot of respect for him. We live in a part of the US in which most people are loudly and overtly MAGA (not even conservative). In the past I would have felt comfortable even speaking with a pastor, but finding a neutral pastor here would be similarly difficult.

Can I call and ask a therapist's point of view/frame of reference? Is it even possible for someone too be neutral on this topic? Suggestions welcome.

I’m looking for a therapist that does NOT practice CBT at all. I’ve been in therapy on and off since my early teens and I know for a fact that CBT absolutely does not work for me. I am not going to get into all of the reasons why I hate CBT; just trust me on this. Pretty much every therapist that I’ve tried uses CBT, even if I tell them that I don’t find it helpful. I tried searching for a therapist on Psychology Today, but there is no way to filter out CBT therapists. I have autism and ADHD, so I would prefer a therapist that specializes in that, but it is not strictly required. I would also like a therapist who takes a “tough love” approach and actually challenges me on things, rather than just listening and validating. Also, the therapist would have to be located in Ottawa, Canada, or be able to do online sessions. I’ve become quite jaded with the whole psychological industry, but I figured I’d give it one more shot and see if anyone has any good recommendations on how to find a therapist that meets these requirements.

As a child, I watched my dad continuously abuse my mother up until high school. I would miss school, so I could protect my mom and siblings in fear she would be murdered by my dad. This is followed me into my adult life. I had been in an absuive relationship my self for the past 7 years. He hit me and I decided right then and there that I wouldn’t be in the same cycle as my mother.

Flash forward, I’m in a healthy new relationship with a man who treats me like a diamond. But I’ve been stuck in a depression. I decided to tell my mom and dad about this man but because of his culture and tattoos they told me they would never accept him. Of course, I have my own brain and thoughts and I’ve told them I am still with him and I’m an adult who can make choices and decisions for myself. It’s been 2 months and my mom still makes comments. But this one, it sticks in my mind. She said “I know now that you don’t love me or respect me.” Because I’m with this man. I was always there for her, since a child being her therapist till my grandmother had passed away, and to this day, and it cuts deep because I wish she knew how much I love her. I would do anything for her. But I’m lost, and I’m in a depression and I can’t help my feelings around my boyfriend.

He tells me to talk to him and that he is here for me, but the urges and sadness creep in. I don’t know how to talk to him. I’m not use to discussing something in such detail. I’m always sad or straight faced around him and I don’t mean to, I wish he knew how much I love him. I don’t want to ruin this relationship because of my thoughts.

I’m willing to try therapy, but don’t know if it will change my mindset from my parents. They are still together and I live under their roof. Trying to move out. But I guess a part of me is scared to move out because I still feel like I have to protect my siblings.

40f parent to young child. Partner 10years and I getting separated, he's not 'in love' anymore. Plus we're pretty emotionally toxic to another. Its best choice, I was gonna make the choice if he didn't admit that anyway. Though it's been huge grief and rejection for me. Still same house as sorting out stuff take a while. He's genuinely a good guy, so been okay, marginally more supportive since made the decision 3wks ago.

Prior I was off sick from work 4 mths. Stress/panic/ exhaustion to point hard to do much than basic routines for child. I do 75% parenting, 99% mental load, 75% domestic - it was part of reason for exhaustion. As well as unhealthy relationship. I got myself to better place (less emotional, more energy) and went bk to work this week.

Manager had HR at the initial meeting. Casually stating i need to work in office full time (I do 4 days, 2 were agreed work at home as reasonable adjustments for audhd, and had flexible working arrangements for childcare.) Manager knows current situation with partner. I cried in meeting and it impacted me for the week massively. I've advocated fully for myself with letter to managers manager, and I've got union in to support me. It's addressed as much as can be rn. Yet emotionally its hit me bad. I was managing well enough to go bk gently, this isn't gently.

Just all feels too much at this pt. Everything.

I know the things I need to manage myself but they're mostly time alone to rest and it works. Yet I have a child and that's not feasible with work too.

I went to a childs birthday party today and I was hanging on to life there and since, overstimulated af. Literally in shutdown since.

Really I should be off work - but my pay will knock down to half if I take longer. Can't do that when facing separation. Can't keep him here longer than is necessary (saves £) else I'll not get better.

I'm not sure how to manage moving forward.

To add - I've had 26wks of therapy that ended month a go, as they can't offer more under their service. I had emdr for childhood trauma- processing helped some but was the thing pushed me into harder place and so i went off sick. Can't afford to pay for therapy (as above separation). I've also had loads of therapy in past as I've always been keen to get to better place.

Also I work in mental health so it's pretty bad they were so ridiculous and uncompassionate. I've had lot of fears about what else may come there. They were a good supportive team and manager before this. I got really behind on paperwork before I went off so now having flash fears of having some big outcome.

Doesn't help that one reasons I realised partner didn't love me was he took a busier long houred job 8months ago, even though I told him I was struggling and needed more support. When I asked him later why, pushed him to be open, he said 'you'd always be struggling, but job was now or never'. He's a duck for this I know. Yet rn it's played in my mind most days this week.

I feel so over the edge of my capacity rn. Yet no exits I can see that feel like they'll be the lifeline to get me through.

I've started yoga a little and a meditation group. Drinking rarely. Trying to get good sleep but that's hard.

Advice pls?

Apologises it is very long.

Let me just throw this out here first to get it out of the way. I know I’m very weird, but I have a weird fetish, fetishes actually and I’ve had these since I was a little kid. I’m almost 23.

I have a nose fetish where I get aroused looking at woman, lesbians or not, touching nose to nose or Eskimo kissing or anything like that. I also have a certain butt fetish, it’s not anything oral and it’s not even anal either, it’s literally just butt to butt touching or bumping. Idk how or why I developed these but it’s literally became my new porn now, meaning I don’t even have to look up porn online anymore, unless I just look woman’s butts in general, or if I see women fighting and getting up in each others faces. I literally only masturbate to these fetishes.

Some of my cousins are attractive looking, two of them are my first cousins and in their mid thirties now, another is a second cousin in their late twenties. I have that butt fetish with all of them, and I also have the nose fetish with my second cousin but not my first cousins.

My first cousins live in Austin, or one of them did at least but now lives in Miami, while I live in Brownsville. Me and family would rarely visit when I was younger because of how far we were obviously, so it’d only be during family events or something. However there was a time where I wouldn’t see them for a very long time, I’m talking 5 years. It was wasn’t until late 2022 where I finally saw them after 5 years because of a relatives wedding. And since then I’d see them a little more often, maybe once a year.

My second cousin who’s in their late twenties, I wouldn’t see too often either, she lives in the area but I’d only see her on certain occasions.

I need this to stop, everything, the fetishes AND the sexual attraction. Sometimes my first cousins on Instagram may have videos of them, and I’d screen record and masturbate to their butts. With my second cousin I’d record her face or screenshot it and masturbate fantasizing about the nose fetish. But what’s worse is sometimes when I see any of them in person, I secretly record their butts, or try to record my second cousins face. Also sometimes I bump my butt against their butts and make it look like an accident, I also do this sometimes at the gym with women there but I don’t accidentally, I’d usually ask them to help me stretch my back or something and have them stand back to back with me with our butts touching.

Not only is this forbidden in my religion, not only is this so morally wrong, but it has gotten to a point where it almost feels like I’m sexually harassing them by recording or saying videos to my phone or accidentally bumping into them. My first cousins are married and have kids, I love talking and hanging out with my cousins and their husbands, talking about life or anything, and im close with their brother (my other cousin) and my aunt too. This feels so wrong and I know they’re attractive looking but I haven’t felt this way at all until I finally saw them years ago after not seeing them for years straight. My second cousin also has brothers which I’m close with as well, and feeling this way with her feels extremely wrong as well.

Let me clarify I don’t always think about them. It’s occasionally where I’ll think about any of my cousins ass and sometimes watch videos masturbating to it. I usually masturbate to random women online with the fetishes I mentioned, or sometimes “accidentally” bump my ass into another woman’s ass somewhere. Let me also clarify I would never hypothetically ever have sex with any of my cousins or want to at all whatsoever. Even if my first cousins weren’t married, I would not want to have sex with them, if I did hypothetically I’d regret instantly IF that ever happened god forbid, so I definitely wouldn’t, same thing goes with my second cousin.

For starters, I finally got myself to permanently delete every single video and picture I ever had saved of any of them, whether it’s one I screen recorded off their media or ones I secretly recorded in person. These are all just fantasies, I wouldn’t ever want to have sex with them, and these are all fetishes, and I’m not trying to defend myself here but these fantasies and fetish I have are less harmful. I fantasize nose rubbing or Eskimo kissing with my second cousin, or “accidentally” bumping asses with my first cousins or second cousins too. I don’t ever fantasize actually making out, kissing, having sex, having anal anything oral. But these are definitely bad enough, and in these fantasies about the butt fetish, I do sometimes fantasized about their butts bare naked. I only feel attracted to my cousins because of these fetishes, and with how nice their butts look it’s very hard. Part of me wishes they’d at least dress a bit better, but that won’t erase the attraction, it really doesn’t help their butts are good looking, I don’t know why I only feel aroused to these cousins, which were two of my first cousins and my second cousin. If I can get rid of these fetishes, the attraction will go away. I need help so badly and I feel so evil for this, this attraction needs to go away.

When I was 15 I was kicked out bc that’s what my mother chose instead of kicking her p3do husband out. I moved across the country to live with family I’d never met before, specifically my aunt. I got very attached to her husband because he was the first person to empathize with me and treat me like a person, not a burden. Lots of ups and downs with these people…lots.

I found out that I’m not even related to these people but decided to keep them in my life anyway and forgive them(mostly her) for the trauma they’ve given me. I was living separate from them for a while and during this my depression was quite bad, (TW: mention of su!cide) one afternoon I decided to start swallowing pills, I was texting with him through the whole thing and he’s the only reason I stopped (I only felt comfy enough fessing up what I was doing bc ik he attempted when he was abt that age as well).

He saved my life, so ofc I got even more attached to him. She(his wife) is a narcissist and was abusive toward both me and her husband. Eventually they ended up separating after she accused him of cheating on her with me. Though I think this was all a ploy to gain sympathy and support from others and try to gain leverage in her relationship and get him on board with kicking me out, effectively making me homeless at 18. He told her he wasnt going to do that again. She’d threatened to ruin his career in the past with false accusations, so I wasn’t surprised when that was her ultimate out. Like a year later, I still live with him and one day he decided to go through my phone and found texts between me and a friend and ig in those texts at some point I said that something he said or did gave me the ick…he admitted to me that he has developed romantic feelings for me.

He told me that he was going to take some distance and reflect and he wasn’t going to touch me unless I specifically asked him to. I have abandonment issues so by default I latched onto him tighter and eventually we were closer than before. Months later, we’ve done a few sxual things, nothing very intimate, but enough to make me spiral in shame and guilt. I feel like these things make all of the names his ex wife said abt me true. I feel most loved when we’re doing those things but it’s very few and far between.

I’ve known for probably years now that our relationship wasn’t healthy for me, but what if the reality is that he has groomed me? Even if that is the case I don’t think it’s been intentional, and there’s some discourse on whether it’s grooming or not without intention but the effects largely remain. I’ve also recently realized that he doesn’t have nearly as much empathy as I do and it effects our worldviews in very different ways which is something I recently talked to him about but regardless, I don’t admire him anymore. I used to admire him so much so this has been kind of heartbreaking for me.

I still love him just as much as ever though. I don’t know what to do. I kind of just want some input on literally anything abt the situation bc I don’t even feel like I can journal abt this (also I don’t think I mentioned this but he is 11 yrs older than me). My entire future revolves around plans we’ve made together, I’m wanting to prioritize my education though so I am willing to at least physically separate myself from him, but I still need him.

I started therapy bc he encouraged me to but I didn’t go back bc I felt like she was judging my relationship with him (even tho I hardly told her anything abt it) and I felt like she was going to push me to leave him. I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to bc i have agoraphobia and the only reason im even able to leave the house is bc he’s with me. Anyways, I can’t imagine a future in which he’s not a part of or that I don’t love him very much, but I feel so guilty. I’m just rambling at this point ima shut up now

24M, some background on my therapy experience: I’ve never been to therapy or even talked to anyone how I truly feel.

Due to some recent events that happened in my life, I’ve come to the conclusion that cause more harm then good to the people around me. I always wanted to help, I love being social. My out look on life is if I can make it easier for someone by making them laugh, I should. I think there’s a lot of good in the world and I feel as if I can contribute to it. However, a pretty serious event happened to someone very close to me, think SA. The assaulter is one of our coworkers and they were in today. I was trying to be there for the assaulted. Giving space, respecting what they needed. They were very specific with saying I need to act as if I know nothing and carry on as usual. I was able to keep this act up until I reached my breaking point. I saw the assaulter and my heart rate spiked and I could only think of protecting The assaulted like some kind of body guard. I would stare down the assaulter to the point it was obvious I knew everything. I broke my promise because I thought I was doing the right thing as I was trusted with this sensitive information. I took matters into my own hands with the whole protection role, then the assaulted texted me saying their anxiety and issues increased because I was standing guard and was asked to leave. After I left, the assaulter confronted the assaulted and called me out by name causing more issues. Me and my friend aren’t on speaking terms now and I’m worried I’ll just keep causing issues for then and anyone else in the future. Do I just need to be a better listener? Friend? Or do I back up? All answers are welcome, harsh or not.

This happened 2 or 3 ish years ago.

I had been seeing my therapist for around 6 years (not very frequently, once every 6 weeks on average). We have a pretty good rapport for the most part, with a few "ruptures", mostly while I was in the middle of a "binge". I didn't notice any major transgressions during periods of sobriety, which is when our sessions were more productive, making me think this was just a one-off and more on me than anything.

I struggled with a pretty intense cannabis addiction. I was failing in university and some of the issues I struggled with were related to social isolation, social anxiety, loneliness, being unsuccessful academically (due to the substance use), low self-esteem, etc.

During these "binges", there were times where I was not the most pleasant person to be around. I showed a lot of resistance and some oppositional behavior to my therapist. There were times where both of us were very frustrated.

During one of our sessions, I made a comment out of spite to my therapist. I think it was some sort of backhanded comment about their age (they were a conventionally attractive person and I think me pointing out them getting older, was my way of trying to annoy and hurt them). They replied back with "why do you hate yourself so much, icy_net9343?" in a mean-spirited way. I could see it in their eyes and hear it in their voice. It seemed very much to be a counter-transferece response.

It's hard to communicate the interaction in words, but it was sort of like they were weaponzing my vulnerabilities and what they knew about me. Almost implying "your a loser", sort of way.

I mentioned it the following session. I was a bit naive and thought "maybe there's a reason they said that". I mentioned it the following session and said something along the lines of "when you asked me why I hated my self so much last session, I thought of it, and it was sort of synchronistic, there's this YouTube channel I watch that uploaded a video about self-love, and I realize I should work on that". They had an embarrassed look on their face, and at the same time sort of holding in laughter. It seemed like they were almost signalling to me "yeah that wasn't good" while finding the synchronistic piece funny.

What do you think?

Please dm me or respond to my post if you know anyone who’s trying to just get experience helping people who are mentally ill maybe they are working towards being a therapist or they have been through similar stuff and can help me through mine they need to be female and between the ages of 21 and 38 I connect with that age better I feel less scared with younger women

Please dm me or respond to my post if you know anyone who’s trying to just get experience helping people who are mentally ill maybe they are working towards being a therapist or they have been through similar stuff and can help me through mine they need to be female and between the ages of 21 and 38 I connect with that age better I feel less scared with younger women

hello, when I was 17 | was in an online relationship with a 15 year old. Once I realized that romantic/ sexual relationships were illegal/ inappropriate for our ages, I told her we should just be friends. (17 is the age of consent here.)

I turned 18 3 days ago, she turns 16 in 2 months.

There's a 2 year and 2 month age gap. So now, we are close friends. We still talk daily, spend time together by playing games/ facetiming, stuff like that.

I'm worried that this could be grooming? I say we are" friends" but we feel like more than that. I'm worried this is creating expectations, that by staying emotionally close I'm inappropriately influencing her feelings, so that she'll want to be in a romantic relationship when we are older.

We both still like each other, and I think we both want to try a romantic relationship when she's older, which makes me feel like a groomer. We don't flirt or anything, I mean we occasionally joke around but it's putting pressure on me and her because she's not the legal age of consent yet. I also feel she's emotionally dependent on me, always telling me how l'm her best friend and she's always asking me to call her.

(is this influence necessarily bad, am I overthinking? I just want to make sure it would be her decision completely if we dated in the future)

“Other people cannot live by their standards of the past.” What do you think this means?? I have my own interpretation but what to hear yours!

M29. I have consistently been in therapy for 13 years. The longest break has been 1 year. I have changed three therapists, two men and one woman, (two psychologists and one psychiatrist). I take this very seriously and try my best to follow the advice and to be honest and open with my therapist. And yet, after all this time and money spent, I am about to give up on myself. I just had a reversal in my life and it feels like everything else is crushing down (work, career, relationship, etc). I feels like I am back at square 1. Like my problems are so deep and rooted that therapy does not help. I feel I cannot be fixed. I am about to give up on my self for the first time. What am I missing? What have I been doing wrong? How is this possible that after all this time things are still so hard? I need help.

I am gong through one of the strongest dips of depression ive had in a very long time. I dont have any friends to speak with, not trusting guardian figure, no partner. I feel like my thoughts are exploding in my mind like little landmines, one by one as the days travel by.

At this point, I just wish I had someone to talk to.

Hi I’m 19 f and I’m scared I’m a narcissist. Growing up, my dad always had narcissistic behaviors such as never admitting fault, blaming me or others for things, making everything about him, etc etc. I’m currently in my first relationship and we are now long distance after 9 months of being together.

My girlfriend 20 f has told me she struggles with having trust issues, but the past two months we had been making a lot of progress with me as our relationship became more serious. We got in an argument the other day over something small and I assumed she was telling me that she doesn’t believe me and that she was accusing me of being a liar, when in reality she was just trying to tell me how her mind was thinking even though that’s not how she really felt. I got offended at first, and then told me I have a tendency to make the issue about me instead of her and how I get so defensive.

In hindsight, she was right. I do get defensive sometimes because I’m so used to people (like my parents) accusing me of something I’m not. Even earlier on in our relationship, my gf did the same, but that was due to her trust issues and we have grown from that. But this is one of those instances where I thought that’s what she was doing again, which caused me to become defensive. Now I’m scared I might just be a narcissist like my dad— maybe not as bad as him, but still one anyway. I don’t even do it consciously, but when we argue, I get so defensive and sort of make things about how I’m feeling rather than her. I get so sensitive sometimes and can’t help but cry but I get scared that it’s subconsciously like a manipulation tactic to get her to feel bad for me or something.

I guess one of my biggest fears is that I am a bad person, or that I am just like my father and I just want to know if there’s any way of working on this? I am really hard on myself sometimes as well, so I get frustrated when I can’t fix my issues immediately, even though I know that’s normal. I just shut down and I have awful coping mechanisms when I just can’t get things right and I want to be better for my girlfriend, but I’m so scared I am just an awful person to begin with.

Struggled with anxiety/depression/OCD for my entire life. Seen multiple extremely qualified CBT/DBT therapists, and yet have not seen any improvement in mental health and actually think it's gotten worse. Oftentimes, I just feel bad without any apparent "thought" so reframing isn't helpful (how can you reframe something that isn't there?). The times when these emotions do have accompanying thoughts, I still don't find reframing helpful because no matter what I tell myself, I still FEEL just as bad. Telling myself "I'm going to be okay" is not going to stop me from having a panic attack because it's just words. Any ideas?

A year ago, I had a therapist who I met through BetterHelps teen sister site, TeenCounselling. I had her for around 6 months and during July she said she couldn’t help me anymore because I wasn’t listening to her, and she directed me towards another therapist. Her advice and what she said is making me panic and feel terrible so I don’t know what to do. I tried to tell her more about my situation as I remembered details and her response was “I don’t think that’s true”

I’m scared. I’m so scared right now.