Preface: I’m 27M & very obviously Gay. Not into women at all (love y’all though). The term “hottie” that I use is like, when someone helps you out with a favor or does something really nice for you & you say “omg you’re such a hottie for that thank you so much” even if you don’t find them attractive whatsoever.

Well yesterday I was at the beach alone just having some quality me time & also had a few drinks so feeling a little buzzed. I was standing in line at a food stand but didn’t see they sold alcohol, so I asked these group of girls in front of me if they knew somewhere that sold margaritas. They looked like teens, maybe just graduated high school so after that clicked in my head I’m like.. “why did I just ask these children where alcohol is?” Mind you I was tipsy. They looked like locals so I figured they’d know of at least a restaurant or something (I’m not originally from here)

They were super sweet & helpful & gave off great vibes so after the interaction I was like “thank you so much y’all are such hotties” & immediately walked off to do my thing.

As soon as I said it though, I cringed. I was like oh my fucking god… I genuinely hope they did not think I was actually calling them hot, because I definitely was not. And like I said, I’m very obviously gay; how I dress, the way I talk, mannerisms, etc etc. so I felt like they understood the vibe.

Anyway, I’m thinking about this the day after & feeling kinda bad about it :( I call allll my friends “hotties” even my family lmao. It’s not a term I view in my head as a sexual compliment. It’s like the equivalent to “sweetheart” or “honey” or something. But yeah just wanted to get that off my chest

When I was 15 (now 31f), I slept with a 28 year old trainer from the gym.

Adolescent me hadn’t even thought of sex as something that could happen, we were just supposed to get pizza. I hadn’t spent much time with 28 year olds.

Afterwards, I left and walked home (~14 km or 9 miles). It was late at night by then, ballpark 2 am.

The main thing I remember is stopping when I walked past one of my countries main hospitals and staring at it. I can’t even say I was thinking about going in. I wasn’t thinking at all.

The age of consent in my country is 16. There are mandatory reporting laws for children, meaning usual patient-client confidentiality doesn’t exist (i.e. it would have needed to be reported to prosecutors/police, and presumably parents).

Sixteen years later, I keep wondering what would have happened if I’d walked inside the hospital instead?

I was fine. I didn’t get pregnant or any STD’s, through luck alone. I showered and went to work at a sandwich shop.

I can’t seem to tell people about this. Given it’s been 16 years, do I just stop thinking about it?

That's it. I am not working, and I barely go by in college, I cannot imagine myself finishing degree and working 9-5 for 40 years or so. I told that to my father, and he pretty much just told me that "this is how it works, everyone has to worki".

So I told him that I am going to be a NEET for as long as I can, and he can kill me while I sleep if he wants, that would be ideal for me since I don't want to live anyway.

Tried suiciee once with shit ton of benzos and alcohol, didn't work out, and I simply do not have guts to jump under the train or anything like that.

You can call me an asshole, but I did not choose being born, having mental ilnessess etc.

Me, my boyfriend, and my friend were supposed to go to a standup comedy show tonight. My friend also invited her cousin, who's new to the city and whom we met for the first time. After the show we went to a bar, got a bit drunk and walked back to my building (my friend and I live in the same building). While we were walking back, the plan had been that she would crash at my friend's, but when we reached our building, she said she had some stuff to do early tomorrow, and decided she was going to walk to her place which according to Google Maps is a half hour minute walk. Unprompted my boyfriend offered to walk her, I wanted to walk with him too, but I was tired and tipsy and my friend also convinced me to go her place and finish the episode we were on.

My boyfriend was supposed to come back to my place after, but he texted me that he was just going to go to his place since it's a 10 minute walk from hers. I was holding it together knowing that he was going to come back but now I have a terrible feeling for no good reason. Like maybe it's stupid but I don't like that his last thing of the day was a half hour walk with her rather than being with me. My mind also keeps going back to any jokes that only the two of them laughed at hard during the show, how much they talked, what she wore, how she looked. Can someone calm me down?

Today, a couple who I considered to be amongst my closest friends in the world had a baby shower. Not only was I not invited, I didn’t even know they were having a baby.

I had a baby myself 18 months ago, and it has been a rough time. I haven’t been able to host my friends over as much as I used to, I haven’t had money to go out as much as I used to. It felt really lonely and I tried to reach out but my messages often went unread. When I did invite people over, everyone already had various plans.

We haven’t caught up properly in almost 12 months - actually the last time we were all together was my children’s baptism, a year ago. I just thought we were all busy. I got it. I was busy too. Life got hard. I just thought we were in a different era of friendship - too busy to catch up much but still had love for each other, y’know.

But I opened up Instagram today to see photos of a baby shower I wasn’t invited to for a baby I knew nothing about.

Scrolling back through our messages, I see now just how many of my messages went unanswered. How many invitations they passed up on. I just thought they were busy. I didn’t try too hard or get upset about any of it, because I was busy too, I understood.

I thought these people were my friends. Some of my closest friends. And I am so happy for them. But so incredibly heartbroken that it turns out we’re just not friends at all anymore.

I (16F), found out tonight at a family dinner that my dad has another child but he doesn’t know that I know. Tonight, we had a family dinner with all my paternal aunts, their families, and my grandmother who live in different cities. It’s the first time in a while that the family is complete so I was having a nice time as I’m fairly close with all of them. However, while eating dinner, my mother and one of my aunts who I was chatting and catching up with landed on the topic of who my cousin looked like. Like a lightbulb moment, my mother blurted out that he looked like my father’s son who lived in another city. She didn’t seem to realize I was right there until a minute or two had passed of them conversing more about him (and me pretending to be on my phone and scarfing down whatever I first saw). The rest of the night, I watched as my father ran around with my cousin and that conversation just played over and over in my head. For the next 5 hours, I just kept zoning out. However bad it may be, I couldn’t help but ask myself why my cousins’ dads didn’t put them through this. Until now, as I lie on my bed as my parents sleep soundly in the room opposite mine, images of him and my cousin’s face is all I see no matter how tight I close my eyes.

Admittedly, I did know prior, but only because I vividly remember my mother sobbing as she bathed 4 year old me muttering, “I hate your father.” But I guess up to this point, a part of me didn’t accept that as reality. Maybe I just thought it was a bad dream I had once when I was a child, I don’t know. Perhaps thinking it’s true is actually very different from hearing that it is. No one had ever told me that directly, only in passing conversation to each other before my mother quickly shut it down or changed the topic. Thus, I also never knew anything more about it—not whether it was a daughter, a son, how old they were, or where they lived. Also, it’s important to say that years ago when I first checked my “blocked” list on Facebook (one my mother made for me when I was a child) that a woman I didn’t know was already blocked and I had a suspicion even as a small child that that was it. But again, maybe it just didn’t really sink into me yet.

Also, I feel it’s important to note that my grandfather (dad’s father) also had multiple children with multiple other women, some he went on to marry and even switch religion to be able to. And I was well-aware of it. However, my father and his siblings are in-touch with their half-siblings and we’ve even had dinner with them a couple of times. Maybe I didn’t want to believe that my father would put his own child in the same situation he was in. I love my father. He’s given me everything I’d ever ask for, material wise. He works abroad and prior to quarantine, he’d always be home for at least a full month but after he switched companies during the pandemic, he only stays for two weeks. Now, I can’t help but wonder if he also spends some time with his other family. I would be glad he stood up for that child as well but at the same time, it makes my stomach churn that there is another child that looks like me, that looks like my father. I do not believe I would ever want to meet them, to meet the woman my father was willing to share his love for his 4 year old daughter with. I don’t believe I am or will ever be mentally stable enough for it.

So please, don’t tell me to feel remorse for the other family, because I don’t. I also don’t hate them, I don’t think they ruined what was any semblance of a functional family, I don’t blame them. I simply do not have an opinion regarding them as people. I also don’t know how to face my father like I did before. I’m not mad, I never was. In all honesty, it feels like cold water was just dumped on me and I’m just now seeing how both of my parents are flawed people. I’m hurt other people knew before me, I’m hurt that they didn’t think I couldn’t handle it, I’m hurt they never ask how I’m dealing with it. But I also don’t have the energy to confront them. I only have 1 week left with him, I don’t think I’m willing to rush the process of unpacking this and leaving it ‘til next year to continue. However, I want to be mad but I can’t bring myself to do so.

If there’s anyone here who went through something similar, how did you cope and move on? Did you ever see your father the same as before?

Hi guys, I'm going to get straight to the point.

Two weeks ago, I (23f) had a one-night stand with a guy (21M) I’ve known since we were kids — let’s call him Todd. We both grew up in the same small town in England, and I genuinely thought I could trust him. I’d had a bit too much to drink, and one thing led to another. I didn’t think much of it afterward, just chalked it up to a messy night and moved on.

Today, I met up with my two older half-sisters (32F and 37F) for drinks. After a while, they told me their dad heard about what happened, and that Todd has been going around bragging to pretty much everyone in town. Not just bragging, but saying things like; “She’s the easiest girl to sleep with in town”, “She smells so bad down there but a hole’s a goal" and “She’s begging me to sleep with her again”

I haven’t even spoken to him since that night. I don’t have his number. I didn’t ask to see him again. I feel sick, but mostly angry, thinking about the way he’s talking about me — and even worse knowing people are probably laughing and judging me.

For context: I was in a committed relationship for 6 years, from high school through university. We broke up two years ago, and I haven’t been with anyone since. I’ve been taking my time to heal and wasn’t even planning on hooking up with anyone. This was the first time in years I let my guard down, and I regret it more than anything.

What hurts even more is how my sisters reacted. Instead of supporting me, I got a lecture about how I “need to be more careful” and shouldn’t be “sleeping around.” I spent the entire night trying to justify my actions to them, trying to explain that I’m not a (insert the S word for women). I'm just a women that trusted the wrong guy.

I feel so humiliated and disgusted with myself.

Edit: Now I've calmed down, I would love some advice on how to deal with this situation. What do I do if its brought up to me? I also I want to confront Todd and knock him for six but that's probably not the best idea

I'm not sorry

I don't care that I am poor

Thank you so much for the reassuring comments in the first post. I dozed off after the first few comments while waiting for him to reach his place and let me know. I woke up to a lot of reassuring comments, and the main thing everyone stressed was trust, and I do fully trust him, so that made me feel better.

I just wanted to talk to him about how the walk went just for myself, and so I could give an update here too. He wasn't able to answer my calls in the morning, and ngl despite all the positive comments I'd just read and the lessons about trust I was again about to start to get worried (honestly a comment had said this might be a me problem and maybe they're right lol).He just woke up half an hour ago because he'd gone to sleep late since he'd had coffee when dropping her at her place, so he couldn't sleep until late, and figured I'd gotten knocked out (true lol) so he didn't call me either in the night, just texted me. He has to go to meet some friends for brunch so we couldn't talk for too long, I just asked him how the walk was and he said it was uneventful but he was glad he did because it was quite late. When I meet him tonight I will let him know that it was really sweet that he walked her to her place (a lot of the comments said how great it was of her to do that and it made me a bit proud too). Thank you for helping me out when I was spiraling last night and I do promise to work on myself too.

Me and my girlfriend, have been talking for about six months. Last night, things got pretty heated between us, and I’m feeling lost. We had plans to go hiking today. But then she told me she didn’t want to go hiking because her daughter, wasn’t feeling well. I was really looking forward to it, but I agreed to go on Sunday instead.

We started talking about me staying over on Saturday night and just pulling an all-nighter. At some point, expressed that I was happy her daughter was coming along too, but I wasn’t sure she had mentioned that to me earlier, so I got confused. I didn’t mean it in a bad way, but I think I upset her by questioning it.

As the conversation went on, I told her to call me I had fallen asleep by the time she did which wasn’t too long after about 30 minutes after.. she got super frustrated and said I was “sketchy” because I wasn’t answering her calls when she tried reaching me. I was exhausted from work.. 4 A.M. comes around.. I get a call answer it, but she kept saying that in the past, I would always answer her calls. She was really upset, and I felt like I couldn’t get through to her.

Eventually, she told me she was “done” and that she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I tried explaining myself and sent her a screenshot of my call log, but it just made things worse. Now she’s saying that I’m lying and that she’s hurt, and I don’t know what to do. I feel like she doesn’t trust me, and I don’t know how to fix it.

I’ve been working a lot, and I just wanted to sleep early. it was around midnight, but now it feels like I’ve messed everything up. I just don’t know how to fix this. Is this a red flag, or is it just a misunderstanding? How do I rebuild trust after this?

For context she’s been my mothers friends since college back in their days and was even there for my mother during my birth. Shes pretty much seen me grow up my entire life. Things between us were normal until puberty hit me like a truck, about a year ago when I was 15 I went from 5’8 to 6’2 in 9 months , my voice got deeper , and I went from slightly chubby to in shape thanks to my dad teaching me how to lose weight in the gym .

I saw her about a month ago which was the first time in 2 years because she moved cities . When she saw me she dropped her bag ( and jaw lol ) and said “you’ve gotten so handsome “ to which I replied thank you . We all ate dinner together and she made a sly comment which was “ you clearly don’t struggle with girls at school” I didn’t think nothing of it and later before she left she asked to quickly get my number to stay in contact with me ( she asked my sister to which is why I didn’t think anything initially) but about 3 days after she left she texted me “come over you must be bored to death at home” and even called my mother asking how I am as the only boy from a family of 6 . Again this is my mothers friend so I didn’t think about it too hard but one day my cousin asked for my phone and a few minutes later asked me why this old lady is trying to groom me . I said “ huh what does that even mean “ and then my cousin explained everything and it was all adding up . I plan on telling my mother soon but before I do is it a stretch ?

Last weekend, I went to a party and sleepover at a friend's house. While there, a couple of guys got me drunk.

I woke up, and knew I had been attacked.

The more I think about it, the more I remember, and I don't know what to do.

Never mind that I do all of the work around the house.

Never mind that I work a high stress job (as he does)

Never mind that he would rather spend his Saturday nights drinking to excess with his guy friends than hang out with me (every weekend this happens)

I was working from home the other day (he does full time). I was in a really important team meeting and it was somewhat tense.

He had just eaten lunch and was sitting on the couch with his computer reading a news article. About 10 feet away from me.

I was finishing a point on the call and suddenly he lets out this MASSIVE fart and groans “muhhhhhhh” loudly.

It was humiliating. I stopped talking and muted my mic immediately and went off camera and screamed at him.

I don’t know if the AirPods mic picked up the full thing, nobody said anything, and I am too terrified to ask any coworkers because it’s honestly embarrassing.

Later he said he was sorry but frankly this just felt like the last straw.

**EDIT: am currently at the ER. They do not have a dentist or oral surgeon on site but said some hospitals do, they just happen not to. They are running bloodwork right now to check on the infection and did say that it does look like the start of an abscess, however not enough to drain. While I wait they are shooting up my gums and gave me a pain pill and gave me an antibiotic pill that is one of the ones that I was being rotated on. I did express my concerns that I am taking too many antibiotics and my body may be used to them. I had a slightly elevated fever but won’t know anything until the tests come back.

I am glad I came because I will feel better after getting the bloodwork and checking on the infection. But then they will pretty much be sending me on my way and my search will continue. Thank you all so much to everyone offering suggestions/solutuons. I am not giving up, just feeling really defeated and on top of mentally struggling anyway, it sucks.

And to those few of you that are weirdly implying that I’m just this procrastinating lazy chump, you guys are weird. As I stated in my comments, several things have had a detrimental effect on my financial situation in the past few years, and I’m trying to recover. I am working my ass off, completely and wholly. Also hospice care is really fucking expensive, I won’t get into it though. Kick rocks.

I’ve been battling an infected wisdom tooth with antibiotics and pain meds for the past year now because I can’t afford the surgery to get it taken out. Two nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night from a sudden excruciating pain in my tooth and jaw that took my breath away. This morning I woke up and the little I had left of my tooth (that hadn’t rotted away yet) was completely gone except the roots. Literally rotted out of my head in my sleep, and the gum behind it is swollen, painful and hard. My guess is an abscess. I’m fairly certain that my body has probably gotten too used to the antibiotics by now and they’re not working anymore. I know how serious a tooth infection/abscess is and what it can lead to. I am also in pain that I can’t even describe.

I went to 2 different dentists today and called about 10 more begging for help. I explained that I can’t afford the surgery up front but can pay it within a couple of weeks with my tax refund. However my body can’t wait a couple of weeks, I can feel that I need to address it right now. I have dental insurance that I’m told has good coverage but doesn’t cover nearly enough for me to afford it. Several of them suggested I apply for a credit line/payment arrangement with the company they work with (the same company offered by most dentists that do this). I got denied and it was a hard pull on my credit. They told me to get a co-signer. I don’t have a co-signer, I don’t have anyone like that in my life. I cannot borrow that amount of money from anyone. I also got a lot of “we’re not taking new patients” and “we have nothing available for weeks/months”.

I have a decent job but this has been the hardest past year of my life and I just can’t catch up. I kept asking the ones that could maybe squeeze me in soon if there was anyway I could get billed after insurance instead of paying up front. I have done this at the doctor and hospital before but it is obviously different at dental offices because every one of them said they require payment up front. One even said they won’t even schedule anything unless you pay IN FULL up front.

It sucked having to beg people and be vulnerable to these strangers that I could tell mostly didn’t care. I’m sure they deal with this kind of stuff all the time, so I want to understand. But I am genuinely very concerned about what to do. I kept asking what my last resort was if things started really taking a turn for the worse but no one really had an answer. I might be dramatic saying I might die, but I also might not be.

I’m defeated and in so much pain.

I've had enough with my family. My sister posted in the family group chat that basically "taking care of your hair is gay". She's homophobic, racist, Islamophobic, transphobic etc (while she herself is lesbian...yeah). And the rest of my family, but my mom, is like that too. My dad, my brother, they all make these "jokes" about minorities, and about me too, especially since I've been diagnosed with ASD. I'm have resentment especially for my dad who's most likely a narcissist. I just don't want to come visit them anymore. And when we talk, since I'm the youngest (by far), I'm never taken seriously when I discuss political topics. I'm constantly being shut down and told things like "it's not that deep", or some bs conspiracy theories or alt-right propaganda. I cannot wait to be fully independent. I really wish I could go low contact. I'm sticking around just for my mom now, who's the only decent human being.

Everytime I look at my reflection or even think about myself, I feel disgusted. I don't find myself attractive, not even pretty. I'm taking care of myself (style, hair, diet, skin care etc) but still I have nothing of value in me. In public, people don't look at me or they say something not very nice to hear. It only proves I'm nothing special.

I'm dealing with self-loathing and depression, all caused by society. At least I'm self-aware. I can't stand my face and height. It's hard for me to imagine someone would be into me. No one has been and will never be.

Maybe I'll feel good with myself after surgeries. I really need it. Just need money for it. I wanna be attractive, beautiful and desirable, at least to myself. But I'm not. I have to deal with looking like a plain potato ogre. I hate everything about myself.

How I know I'm ugly and unattractive? - My family treats me like I'm worse than my sister and cousin. Everyone is amazed by them, compliment them, adore them meanwhile they don't say a thing about me. Just act like they're embarrassed. - Few years ago when I was in High School, my photography teacher took pictures of every person in my class, except me. He ignored me every time, more than once telling me that my face was not suitable to be photographed. - In my ex friend group I've always been considered as the ugliest one. No one approached me, but when I did the "first move", all I got from men was "ew". - My father reminds me how ugly I am since I was 8. He says that no man will ever look at me :3.

The rich people will just use this as a bargain opportunity to scoop up as much stocks as they can and over time get even richer than before. This crash is amazing news for them. The only people that suffer are average people and those who have college/life savings/pensions invested in the market.

I see so many posts of people celebrating billionaires "losing millions/billions" but its actually the opposite.

My partner (29m) and I (28f) have been together for 5 years. We love each other a lot and have a ton of similar interests, but I am a hopeless romantic and he is an adhd bad planner, the kind of person to forget about birthdays and not ever plan dates. He is also easily embarrassed in crowds and does not love being the center of a lot of peoples attention. We’re already in a domestic partnership and have talked a lot about getting engaged. I’ve always dreamed of a romantic proposal, anything that gives us that emotional special moment and shows his effort/planning and represents us as a couple. He’s asked what I want and I’ve been direct to make it simple: maybe 1 member of my family popping out to celebrate after, to hear something authentic from him, a surprise photographer who he’d vibe with, to look decent on that day, but really for him to be the planner in charge. I am the eldest daughter and always the one forced to plan trips, blamed if things go wrong, and I just wanted one day for myself to feel loved.

We’ve been on an international trip now for 2 weeks, week 1 in a different country than now. We had a big argument there after he didn’t help plan anything for our itinerary, procrastinated packing and logistics so I did everything, and just didn’t feel like we were in it together. In a moment where I was down, I said “I hope you’re not planning to propose soon, because I’m not ready to say yes until we can lean on each other for support”. We resolved things and have actively tried to compromise more.

In our current country, we’re visiting my grandparents who I was close to growing up, and my mom and much younger sister joined for a week from the US since none of us had seen grandparents since pre-Covid. My mom/sister/bf and I did a day trip to a very touristy place (think a UNESCO site), grandparents decided not to come because they were tired. I was ready for a hike up, had my camera gear on me, and was really excited to experience this spot with bf. Bf and I went ahead to grab a snack at the gate, then my mom showed up with “a family friend of your aunt who is a photographer building his portfolio who wants a few pics of you guys for his social media”. Bf seems surprised and uncomfortable, but my mom is also very controlling/demanding, so we give in. Bf then spills a few drops of coffee on his shirt, and my mom INSISTS that we buy ridiculous souvenir shirts to wear instead. I adamantly refuse, bf hates souvenirs like that, he despises persistent salespeople, she forces us both to try one on, buys them anyways and insists he wears his. He doesn’t but now feels awkward, I laugh about the coffee stain bc we’re both clumsy and it’s endearing. We start walking up and photog is nonstop snapping photos of us. Me drinking water. Bf putting on a jacket, two feet away from his face. It’s extremely uncomfortable. Bf tells me it’s annoying and it’s like paparazzi following him. Bf and I are both getting extremely peeved and just want to be left alone but mom says to not be rude and that it would be disrespectful to my aunt to treat her friend like that. I can tell my introverted bf is nearing his limit and I continue asking the photographer to leave us be. We get to the top and I want to enjoy the view and talk to bf about it, photog will not leave us alone. I’m ready to scream in his face, I feel gross and sweaty, and want to just explore around. I know my bf is introverted and I can tell he is not loving this.

We continue along the path to the next viewpoint, I turn to grab something and then I turn around and bf is suddenly on one knee. I asked him later on why there wasn’t any buildup and he said it was because the photographers gestured him to go at that moment for their shots and he wasn’t prepared yet so he rushed. At this point I am dressed in all black dirty clothes, pissed off at this photographer who won’t leave us alone, haven’t gotten a single moment alone to enjoy the day with bf, had just told him a week ago I needed some more time to feel secure, and there was no buildup at all to him being on one knee so I’m shocked. I panic and the first words out of my mouth are “no no no no not like this I’m not ready”. He looks panicked, starts saying “oh-“ and getting up awkwardly, then I realize there are 4 MORE PHOTOGRAPHERS/VIDEOGRAPHERS suddenly all within 10ft. I’m about to shrivel up because I know that this happens once, I’ve envisioned it a hundred ways but not like this, and now there’s a ton of pressure and people watching, we both feel awkward, and one of the guys runs over to clip a mic on bf, which is a nightmare to him. He makes the world’s shortest proposal speech, I barely process what’s happening, I say yes, everyone cheers, we kiss, I am dying inside. We are then forced to take a million posed photos, bf already hates taking photos, he has no idea what’s going on because they’re all yelling at him in a different language and I’m trying to translate, we both have photo fatigue, I feel ugly and terrible, and want to run away and cry. There was a whole damn bag of clean laundry in the car, I wish I’d worn literally anything else - jeans, t shirt, hoodie, sundress, literally anything that wasn’t black leggings where you can see my pantylines and a black thermal shirt I hadn’t washed for 3 days. I felt hideous and wanted to hide. We get down 2 hours later and we are both not feeling great, like the whole damn day was a modeling job we didn’t get paid for. I try to explain to my mom that the photographer should not have followed us up the whole time if this was a surprise, she scolds that the guy said it would make for a better “story video” (bf asked for help weeks ago and then got no say or info on anything, and literally told my mom it was a bad idea for photog to follow us up and would ruin his surprise, she let them anyways because she thought it’d be better). Bf thought grandparents were coming and it would mean a lot to me which it absolutely would’ve, then my mom/aunt didn’t tell him they weren’t. I try to gently tell aunt that it didn’t go great and we felt uncomfortable, she shuts me down with “we all tried so hard to make this great, it was a lot of work for ME to plan, you should have a better attitude.” Mom says “you should be happy - don’t be picky, sometimes you have to think about other people too and their feelings” (meaning her/my aunt/the photography team/my uncle/the salespeople at the gift shop, never once does she actually mention MY BF and MY feelings). We get driven to a fancy restaurant that uncle picked “for us” that my bf wasn’t aware of at all, we tell them we need a few minutes privately to celebrate for the first time all day. They’re annoyed but go in, I immediately start crying in the parking lot from feeling overwhelmed and bf understood why and felt similarly. Within 5 minutes, mom comes out to scold us and say “don’t embarrass your uncle, you’re humiliating yourself, hurry up, you’re being so annoying”. The dinner doesn’t feel celebratory, it mostly feels like a way for my uncle to show off because he’s wealthy and loves to play host while everyone praises how good a job he did. Bf is very lowkey and we’re just not fancy restaurant people but didn’t get any say in it.

Bf and I get back to the hotel and I cry until I fall asleep. I feel guilty about not giving him his dream reaction and that his plans didn’t go as he expected. He thought only 1 photographer would be at the top, that my grandparents would be there, and that he’d be more involved in getting to choose things. I wish he did the planning himself instead of relying on others. Over the next few hours, bf asked if I meant the yes and if he could try again, more privately, where he’d arrange everything his way with no outside input, because he wants to give us our fairytale moment. This is what I wanted all along. He used a placeholder ring since we want to pick the real one together, and wants to officially repropose once we pick one out.

It’s been a few days now and it’s very meaningful to me that he was so apologetic and understood where he screwed up, but I am still bummed for us. I’m mad that this was probably all very expensive and that it wasn’t a good experience for bf either. I am angry that my mom keeps saying to be grateful, that it was hard for her and my aunt, yet they kept my bf so out of the loop and didn’t even give him the chance for input or help! My bf loves silly nerdy things like pokemon and cats and video games, they’re a big part of our lives together, and my mom frequently calls those things dumb and immature - he never got the opportunity to make this his own. Even now, the photographer has only communicated with my aunt, and she sent a few to the family chat with “they gave me the album so I picked a few to show you guys!” My bf feels like they’re treating us like children and he was completely pushed out.

I don’t care how selfish this makes me, but this was supposed to be a special day for us. I don’t know if it’s stupid to want a reproposal, but I just want to think of this one as a practice run. It wasn’t about the actual proposal, it was about wanting to feel like I could prioritize my wants for once (taking our time to celebrate together our way, not worrying about someone else’s dinner reservations, getting to have our silly moments, being spontaneous rather than unnatural photo posing that the photographer insisted on). I know this isn’t the end of the world and we will have a long happy life together, but I wanted this romantic moment so badly where we got to just take each other in. I’m disappointed that both of us felt so rushed, no one told him about my grandparents not being there, he didn’t get to make the speech he wanted, there were too many cameras in his face, he had no idea what anyone was saying, no one filled him in. I love him more now for recognizing my feelings, having a conversation with me to process, and wanting to try again for both of us to feel fulfilled. It makes me realize even more that we do have a lot of the same things in common (and some of the same pet peeves lol)

TLDR: had an awkward proposal where a lot of things went wrong, bf overtrusted my family to plan everything in a different country, they didn’t fill him in at all, overbearing photographer ruined the day, family is gaslighting, and I needed to vent. I’m still trying to process the day that happened. Bf wants to try again and do it his way more privately, I’d love to feel an authentic moment with him and just enjoy each other, everyone else in the family thinks we had a great time. I’m still sad it happened the way it did, but somehow we feel closer to each other now.

reposted with more details on partners personality and why this was a nightmare for him

I don’t usually talk about this kind of stuff, but I need to get it off my chest.

There’s this girl I really like. Back then, me and my friends used to joke around and say who we’d wanna f**k, and we included her too. It felt like dumb teenage stuff at the time, but now I regret it. She’s not someone to joke about like that. She’s special. And I hate that I was ever part of something that disrespected her like that.

Now, I don’t just have a crush. I genuinely love her. I’ve dreamed about her, literally—she’s shown up in my sleep more than once. It’s like she’s stuck in my head and my heart. I think about her all the time, and not in a messed up way. I love her for who she is.

But if she’s not the one for me, if she’s not meant to be in my life like that… then I want God to take her out of my heart. Because this feeling hurts when you know you might never be with them. I don’t want to hold onto something that’s not meant to last. I just want peace.

Thanks for reading.

I'm a 28 year old woman. My body stats are: 5'6-5'7, 176 pounds/80kg.

Growing up, I never had boys interested in me. In fact, no one has ever had a crush on me. I know I'm not strikingly beautiful. I'm a bit chubby/thick. I don't want to brag but I've been told I have a hourglass figure. I am actively trying to lose around 5kg/11 pounds. I want to keep some of my thickness so I don't see myself losing more than that.

Anyway, back to the point. I went to this event last night with my friend where you stick flags stickers on your chest and you are encouraged to approach people and talk to them. Its not the typical bar where mostly people keep to themselves. You're actually meant to approach people, almost like a singles event.

Guys came up to me and talked to me but no one asked for my digits but 2 guys approached my friend for her number. I am not jealous of my friend but I was sort of sad no guys asked for my number lol.

Overall, I think I'm like a 5-6/10. Maybe after I lose some weight, I will be more attractive. I think my personality makes up for my lack of physical attractiveness. Ive been told I'm bubbly, warm and outgoing. So, if you made it this far, what do you think I should do? Is it okay to be average looking?

I’ve never been in love but I met my boyfriend a couple years ago and I love him! He always makes me smile and goes out his way for me. He’s also doing little stuff like buying me flowers or playing Fortnite with me! Which I’ve never experienced before ever we’ve been together for almost 4 years now and I can comfortably say I’ve been in such healthy mindset because of the relationship. I’m learning to love myself and feel confident whilst being in a relationship which makes me extremely happy! We go on dates pretty often and yes this post was made just to let people know I love him! Corny right?