r/travel • u/kobeburner • 1d ago
Images First and Maybe Last Visit to India?
I’ve only visited 18 countries and even though the historical buildings, architecture, and cuisine were incredible, I have little desire to return to India.
As a fairly tall Black American male I stood out among everyone. I was grabbed often, all by men, stared at for an ungodly length of time, and just generally felt overwhelmed and uncomfortable there. The staring is next level. It’s not a glance. It’s a purposeful observation that continues indefinitely. At one point a man was looking at me from a few feet away. I moved to block his view then he moved to get closer to me to continue the gawking.
The poverty is disturbing and the absurd amount of garbage is nightmare fuel for environmentalists. Locals don’t seem to care much about the cleanliness in the urban areas. Watched several people willingly throw trash into the street from apartments and train cars. Why do they do this?
On the other hand, the Taj Mahal is incredible. Easily the most fascinating part of our trip. We’ve been to 6 new world wonders, 7 if we include the Pyramids of Giza, and the TM is in my top 2 with Petra being the best.
Walking through the gate and seeing the mausoleum in the background bathing in the morning light was like stepping into a fairy tale land. We loved it so much, we returned for a second day. There are rooftop bars and restaurants too with incredible views and inexpensive food and booze.
My suggestion visiting India would be to ensure everything is private. Transportation, guides, etc. The logistics can be a pain so the peace of mind of having everything taken care of for you is worth the cost imo.
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u/moutainyogi 1d ago
Black man (51) that visited a little over a month ago with a yoga group. At first my guard was up. Hyper aware of looks and energy. After my second week there I let it go. Just did not care. When people asked for photos I obliged and then asked for theirs. I had some genuine interactions once I let my guard down and embraced my alien presence. For the most part, I was shown lots of love by the Indian people and the looks were understandable curiosity.
One thing that really did get to me was the way crowds can become aggressive and dangerous in an instant. Literally inside temples and people shoving with total disregard. It was insane. Stampedes and multiple deaths are a fairly common occurrence. Just recently at a pilgrimage site and about a month ago a stampede at a train station.
If I return it will be to a rural setting and far from crowds.,
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u/ZincHead 9h ago
If there is one thing I will say about people in India, it's that they have no regard for anyone else. Cutting lines, overtaking in traffic, never wearing headphones and making tonnes of noise on their phones, littering and making everything a mess, trying to rip people off all the time, pushing and shoving and general disregard for anyone else. People say we in the west are individualistic, but from my point of view, no one in India is thinking about anyone but themselves.
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u/Roadgoddess 1d ago
As a tall blonde woman, I can tell you that you are not isolated in this experience. The other thing I would have happen is people would immediately shove their children into my arms and then asked to have the picture taken with me. When I was actually trekking in Bhutan, There would be scores of Indian soldiers that they provide for defence that would stop me in the mountains about every 25 feet to have their pictures taken with me. It got to be quite funny. I said to my parents I feel like my pictures are spread all over the Indian barracks.
I often say that India is a country that people are not neutral on, they either love it or hate it. There is no middle ground, no “ it was OK”. It’s definitely a place that assaults your senses.
I also wanted to add that your photos are stunning ! Thank you for sharing.
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u/kobeburner 1d ago
This comment made me laugh and thanks!
Yes the picture taking! I’ve seen it online but didn’t think it would happen to us. Lots of the locals wanted to take selfies and photos with me and my partner in Delhi, Agra, and Jaipur.
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u/walterwilter 1d ago
As a medium height white guy woh longer hair, I can tell you I was molested everywhere I went by everyone. I’m in 100000000000 photos and videos. I’m in family photos. I was interviewed by news channels.
When I returned home it was so strange. It was as if no one knew how popular I am elsewhere
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u/Roadgoddess 1d ago
I’m glad you found it funny, lol. I just leaned into it and laughed. I was later told that they do that because they consider it good luck to have a picture taken with a foreigner so I just view myself as a lucky Tasman going forward.
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u/Sleekonomics 1d ago
As an Indian woman, LIVING IN INDIA too I can tell you it’s not an isolated experience! Sure I didn’t have photos taken or anything but the staring is unreal.
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u/Poly_and_RA 14h ago
How about *both* love it *and* hate it? That's definitely my position.
There's just such a long list both of things that are absolutely flat out AMAZING about India -- and things that are absolutely flat out HORRIBLE.
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u/Foxterriers 1d ago
The picture with kids happened to me in Beijing, but nowhere else in china.
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u/Justcuriousyoung 1d ago
You should visit other states. A good example of a friendly and beautiful state is Kerala. Lovely place to take pictures, and I mostly hear people having a bad experience in the northern states and Delhi.
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u/vizbiz98 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yup totally agree, give southern India a try - Mountains and beaches of Kerala, Goa. People there gawk lesser, litter lesser and lesser chaos in general. People there love tourists
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u/dphayteeyl 1d ago
Gujarat is also great. People will approach you in the friendliest way possible, maybe asking where you're from, and whether you want to eat with them (if you're in a foodie place). Gujarat has some stunning unpolluted nature in the north, and south east of the state, and visiting the Statue of Unity (world's largest statue) was pretty cool imo, and no pollution in sight - completely clean (although that was 2 years ago, may have changed). In my experience, Gujarati and Punjabi people love the idea of foreign countries, hence why they immigrate so much, and why they'll approach you. Saying that in the nicest way possible, don't want to bring politics into this.
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u/ani_svnit Scotland travel "expert" 23h ago
Thank you - the sheer ratio of posts painting the whole country with a broad brush while circumnavigating the same highly touristic Golden Triangle is high (esp on this sub)
That said, personal space is a rare commodity in such densely populated areas. There is a hand specific hand signal to keep strangers away and a basic ‘nahi chahiye’ I wish I could teach Western tourists before their first visit to give them a chance to not be harassed. That won’t be part of any phrasebook sadly
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u/where_is_lily_allen 1d ago
I feel you, my friend. It was definitely a great trip, though it had some of the worst parts you mentioned. But the feeling you captured in your second photo, that first glimpse of the colossal Taj Mahal on the horizon... I don't think I'll ever forget it.
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u/Conscious_Dig8201 1d ago
Nice pics!
I visit not infrequently and usually have a nice time, but I totally get it can be a lot. Not the most relaxing or clean place while out and about.
You're right about private everything being the play. The staring and scamming is always obnoxious as a foreigner, but hardcore RBF, avoiding eye contact, dressing "grey," and moving with purpose definitely helps. Gotta be rude sometimes.
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u/Annual-Market2160 1d ago
Do you ever wonder if we should be in certain areas if this is what you must do to be comfortable? Do the people even want us there?
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u/ALasagnaForOne 21h ago
In my experience of India (went twice after college, both for 2.5 months) so many Indian people are incredibly warm, kind, and excited to meet foreigners. We had so many people invite us to tea and mean it sincerely, not a scam, just excited to practice English and learn about each other.
Of course things like staring or touching are cultural differences. I tried to keep my space but sometimes a dude just starts giving you an arm massage on the street.
In my experience, the garbage thing is horrible. But I see people talk about it like they’re choosing to litter over using available trash services. That is not something accessible throughout most of the country. Imagine if you grew up somewhere with no sanitation service. Also wealthy countries literally pay to ship mass quantities of trash to places like India so it feels very hypocritical to criticize it for being polluted.
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u/ani_svnit Scotland travel "expert" 23h ago
‘Comfortable’ is relative. As a tourist, you are visiting for a few days max - what level of comfort do you think those locals, especially of a lower socio economic strata, are used to on a day to day basis? Seeing people who dont look like them is the novelty and hence the asks for pictures. The scamming is true in almost all tourism hotspots
The average local does definitely want you visiting but has an unfortunate expression of the same. They know a dollar for you isn’t consequential but goes a long way for them and hence the singling out. I like the comment posters no nonsense attitude - definitely works well
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u/gilliefeather 22h ago edited 22h ago
Agree with everything you said. I remember visiting India ~40 years ago as a 23 year old white female back packer and feeling completely overwhelmed by the nonstop gazes and attempts to engage and/or touch or pickpocket, etc. It was exhausting. I was with a boyfriend and it didn’t make any difference that I could see.
I went back as a side trip ~30 years ago because I was in Nepal and had missed seeing the Taj Mahal. It was worth it. But again non stop hypervigilance and navigating being a fascinating object of attention, especially because I was alone.
I remember a seasoned traveller’s comment about travelling in places where the distance between the top and the bottom of society is so vast: we are incomprehensibly wealthy to the majority of the people whose path we will cross. If we leave with only a passport and airline ticket, that’s still true. It made me more realistic about danger and less put off by the attention.
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u/elzorko 1d ago
As a fairly tall white non-American male who has visited ~70 countries, I can echo every one of your words.
I can also add that on my flight to India I was insistently invited to stay at a drunk fellow passenger's house.
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u/Oakislet 1d ago
India is so much. I hated my first visit, in northern India and Delhi, used to SEAs sweetness, but couldn't stop thinking about it. Since I've been many times and every visit is a different India. Kerala, Goa, Tamil Nadu. I love the south the most (so far) and even if they're all so different India is always exhausting, fascinating, mesmerizing, confusing and profound in some strange way. You're perspective on life change and keep changing forever,no other of the 165 nations I travelled have done that in the same way.
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u/kiwirazz 1d ago edited 1d ago
Most people arrive in Delhi. Visit Agra, Jaipur, Varanasi and say they hate India.
South India is where it’s at. Arrive in Bengaluru. Visit Karnataka, Kerala and you love India.
For example if you are flying in Bengaluru, get out and go to Mysore, Hampi, Badami, Bijapur(now Vijayapura), Coorg(now Kodagu), Bylakuppe, Srirangapatna, Somnathpura, Halebid, Belur, Sravanabelagola, Nandi Hills, Chikkaballapur, Devanahally. This is just the places I’ve been to in Karnataka. I have a similar list of places I haven’t been to that I’d like to, eg Mangalore, Udipi, Gokarna, Chitradurga, Murdeshwar, Jog Falls, Hubballi, Bellary, Dharmasthala, Melkote, Pattadakal, Nagarhole NP, Bandipur NP.
This is just one state of Karnataka!! You could make a similar list for each state!!!
Don’t just visit ‘the Golden Triangle (Delhi, Agra, Jaipur)’ and think it is representative of the whole of India.
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u/SafetyNoodle 1d ago
I was just in India and spent most of my time in the Northeast (Assam, Meghalaya, Arunachal Pradesh, & Sikkim). Spent the last week in North India (Delhi & Varanasi).
I would definitely return to see more of Northeast India or to explore the south, but the north is pretty low on my list for a return trip.
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u/kiwirazz 1d ago
I went to Kolkata for a weekend last time. Loved it.
Bucket list is a cycle tour from Kolkata north to Darjeeling, plus some of NE states.
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u/SafetyNoodle 15h ago
I was only in Kolkata for a couple days but definitely liked it. Much more than Delhi. Mumbai was also nice.
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u/tompaulman 17h ago
I had the same experience in India. Loved the North East, hated the North, haven't been to the south.
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u/InfiniteDecorum1212 11h ago
I'd say East and South are both pretty good, had a lovely time Calcutta and Darjeeling in my last trip to the East.
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u/gman2060 1d ago
Haha, love your description 🙏
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u/Oakislet 20h ago
Thank you, wrote it very quick and spontaneous. India is hard, almost impossible to describe, you can only sort of put words to your experience, reactions of it and feelings from it, and those are all high impact on all sensory senses, and rollercoastery.
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u/Masterfulcrum00 1d ago
i had an incredible time but also had issue like you. Try northern india like Ladakh, it will be the complete opposite of what you experienced.
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u/kobeburner 1d ago
Yeah someone I know is traveling up to Tso Morini. I hadn’t even heard of the place before but it looks incredible up there.
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u/hinterstoisser 1d ago
Places like Ladakh, Sikkim, Andaman all need special inner line permit or equivalent if you are not an Indian citizen. Travel operators can set that up for you but it needs to be done in advance
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u/mcburloak 1d ago
Himachal Pradesh was mesmerizing in the mid 90’s. I didn’t care for Delhi much either.
But the Himalaya are something else.
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u/NatvoAlterice 1d ago
Born & raised in Delhi and I don't care much about it either. Himalayas are my favourite place on this planet though...
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u/lucapal1 Italy 1d ago
Nice pictures, thanks for posting!
India is a tough one for many people, kind of a love it or hate it... personally I really like it, I've been back there quite a few times.
It has its lows for sure,but its highs are very high.
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u/kobeburner 1d ago
Thanks.
Yeah, as an introvert it was overwhelming for me. The men are just too aggressive and the petty scams I didn’t like but expected it.
The culinary scene is incredible however and the blend of architecture is unique. I do actually wanna return but to Kerala where I hear it’s more relaxed and chill. Delhi and Jaipur were too intense for my taste.
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u/AW23456___99 1d ago
I enjoyed Kerela but I'd say it lacked the stunning architecture that you can find in other parts of India. It was a very nice first trip to India for me, but there were definitely fewer sites to see. Food was absolutely divine though.
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u/ionagpkt 20h ago
I'm from Kerala and you're right our palaces and temples are not at the scale of the ones up North. That said if you do Mysore, Wayanad, Alleppey you could get some amount of palaces, mountains and lagoons in your trip. And believe me people from Kerala also find it hard to navigate parts of UP, Bihar. Some would rather not go there at all.
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u/rockyboy49 1d ago
You will love the south. It's definitely way better than the north. The north and South both are rich in history and culture but North is intense even for us Indians who have lived in the South
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u/soil_nerd 1d ago
Kerala still has many of the attributes you’ve described above. It’s very nice, but it’s definitely still India. Loads of trash and the men are aggressive in trying to sell you stuff or get you in their taxi. Staring is still a thing, but maybe less so? Not sure, I had people gawking most places I went and had people grab me, etc. that being said, almost everyone is super nice if you talk to them, it’s just cultural really different.
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u/Ambry 1d ago
I've not been to India but really want to go. I think it looks extremely intense, whether that is good or bad. Seems a very love/hate place!
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u/cliff-huckstable 1d ago
I want to visit, even though every person I’ve met has told me their trip to India was terrible. I have one friend who was neutral on it and he was carted around by his wealthy friends security detail.
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u/AfroManHighGuy 1d ago
India is definitely not a beginner country. I always tell people who can be easily overwhelmed to not visit India before trying to visit some calmer places first. The overstimulation can be a lot. I’ve visited family in India multiple times and it took me a while to get accustomed to all the noise, staring, trash, and homeless on the streets. The locals just choose to ignore and act like it doesn’t exist, it’s sad. However, I did enjoy seeing certain parts of India (Taj Mahal, Mumbai, Delhi, rajasthan, Jaipur, udaipur, Himalayas, Kashmir, Manali, dharamshala, gujarat). I recommend going to those places for anyone visiting India
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u/accidentalchai 1d ago
It was my first solo backpacking. I will say it was intense but it makes almost any travel after feel easy and flat in comparison. I spent months there. The first month was intense love hate and it developed more into love. It is a huge country. I slow traveled in HP and I vastly enjoyed that over Rajasthan.
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u/Ok-League-1106 1d ago
A good country to travel first is Vietnam or Cambodia. Both India-lite, but less staring etc.
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u/HootieRocker59 1d ago
I think Sri Lanka is a good place to go if you want India, but not so much of it.
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u/TheDovahofSkyrim 1d ago
I’m not easily overwhelmed & just have no desire to go to India. Sounds like an absolute dystopia.
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u/J_Dadvin 23h ago
I mean most indian people that I know tell me that I should visit. I thi k the people who really suffer are the ones who use a western approach to visiting india. They want to see the downtown, the old city, and get an "authentic" experience. Which is a recipe for disaster and even Indian people would never seek that out.
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u/Spider_pig448 19h ago
It's already significantly better than it was a decade ago, apparently. I wonder where it will be 10-20 years from now
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u/pmyawn 13h ago
India can be challenging in several respects. Absolute dystopia it is not - far from it. Very vibrant culturally and diverse.
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u/jeffereeee 1d ago
Gorgeous photos. India, I’ve been three times now, amazing place, shocking sometimes, but I love the place and looking forward to going back.
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u/BartholomewKnightIII 1d ago
On my fist day in Mumbai, I thought, what have I done?
5 Weeks later after visiting, Goa, Delhi, Jaipur and Agra, I didn't want to leave.
I know it's not for everyone, but I had a great time.
Great pics btw.
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u/kobeburner 1d ago
Really happy you enjoyed it. Not every destination is for everyone and that’s okay.
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u/BartholomewKnightIII 1d ago
Completely agree, sorry you didn't have a great time.
What's been you favourite place you've travelled to so far?
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u/kobeburner 1d ago edited 1d ago
Oh man too many to list. Each country offers something different.
Jordan, Egypt, Italy off the top my head. Costa Rica, Brazil, and Guatemala are incredible as well.
Went on a Kenya safari too last year. Rekindled my love for the outdoors and camping. That was an experience I will never forget and something we would do yearly if we budgeted for it. Tanzania was great too.
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u/tomasswood 1d ago
How do you compare India to Egypt? I gave Egypt a similar review but I expect India to be on a whole nother level.
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u/kobeburner 1d ago edited 1d ago
So our experience in Egypt was different considering we were with a guide the majority of the time. We hired a driver through our Airbnb host in which we were taken to the Giza Plateau. There, we were not harassed or spoken to at all by any of the touts as our driver was next to us the entire visit.
Next, we cruised from Aswan to Luxor on the Le Fayan. We had a guide as well so everything was taken care of for us. At the conclusion of the cruise, we were on our own and took a GoBus from Luxor to Hurghada. Purchased tickets on site in Luxor.
Nothing out of the ordinary except a shop owner who tried to short change us but we weren’t fooled. Egypt is beautiful though and I’d love to take family friends there one day to share the experience with them. There is poverty, garbage, and other unsettling sites. Cairo is chaotic too but I found where we visited to be less dirty than Delhi, Agra, and Jaipur. But we were with a guide most of the time and didn’t have much of an opportunity to see much of the local life.
I posted photos of our trip on this sub from an account that I had but deleted. You can check em out in the link.
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u/SamoTheWise-mod 1d ago
I'm guessing he didn't stand out in the same way in Egypt.
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u/J_Dadvin 23h ago
Nobody really stands out in Cairo. It has imkigrants feom most of the world and tourists feom all of the world.
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u/Direct-Country4028 23h ago
Was Italy OK as a tall black man. I haven’t heard good things.
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u/rafiktt 13h ago
Depends on where you’re staying. I’ve visited Italy a few times and as a tall black man with dreads 98% of persons did not care. Got a few stares here and there and experienced probably two moments of racial undertones. But the store owners, staffs in restaurants and just people in general are really really friendly. Obviously they ask where I’m from and usually build conversation on it.
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u/Few_Supermarket3314 17h ago
Surprised to see Italy on the list of favs as a Black person. It’s either you loved it or had a terrible experience. Did you do Italy with a guide as well?
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u/90sRnBMakesMeHappy 1d ago
I actually enjoyed Mumbai somewhat. I really loved all of Kerala. Especially Munnar.
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u/BartholomewKnightIII 1d ago
I got used to it pretty quick, but after mainly travelling in Europe and a couple of places in the US, it was full on. I actually liked the chaos after a while though.
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u/thepunisher18166 1d ago
India is always a love/hate relationship. I have visited 45 countries(and lived in 4) so far and India is the only one that shocked me. You leave but then inside of you you wish to go back one day, might be one day, might be never. But it s shocking. I guess for everybody, except Indians
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u/Chinacat_Sunflower72 1d ago
Well, it is my favorite country to visit. I am a female in my 60's now, but in my 20's a traveled all thru India solo. Rode the women's only train cars and met lots of wonderful people. I liked Punjab the best, probably because I met the nicest people there. I have been back many times, and while the traffic and pollution is absolutely horrible now, I still love going. Those pics of the Taj... I can't get over the crowds there. I haven't been there in decades (there are so many other great things to see in India). I always heard people either love or hate India. I definitely love it. Going again next spring.
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u/Street_Comfort4668 1d ago
You have to read Shantaram. Maybe the book will help you forget the uncomfortable times there. These pictures are beautiful and made me think of the book. Sorry you didn't have the best of times, but you made my day with these photos so, Thank you!!!
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u/Dpaulyn 1d ago
Shantaram is a beautifully written book - I highly recommend it.
Also - made into a 12 episode series on Apple TV+. I thought it was a very good version of the story and conveyed the overall atmosphere of the book.
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u/Street_Comfort4668 1d ago
I read something about that but didn't know it was out. The book was a masterpiece and so visual. I will definitely look for the series on DVD.
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u/Particular_Nature268 1d ago
I love India but it definitely is another world and can be intimidating. As a Nordic looking white lady traveling alone, I received some long stares. I cannot tell you how many people roped me into their family photos for some unknown reason. I found India loud, colorful, crowded, rich, poor, frenetic and peaceful. It is the sort of place that requires total immersion. Anything less will not yield a love match. I would caution against planning a hermetically sealed trip that focuses on western hotels, private tours, etc. You will miss the best of India if you take that route. I was extremely fortunate to arrange a couple of meetings with Indians before I left home. One happened by chance through LinkedIn. I answered a question to which an Indian man responded. He ended up introducing me to several folks in Mumbai who became my local friends. All of them were excited to share aspects of the culture with me. Rashi took me shopping and threw a party for me. Ronan took me for a food tour of Bandra that culminated in dinner at a Parsi restaurant. Mohit took me shopping and on to a pre-wedding celebration held on a rooftop surrounded by swaying palms. When I contracted pneumonia and developed a pneumothorax, Mohit took me to his doctor and came to see me everyday while I was in the hospital. He is still a dear friend. Sumit made sure I made it safely to the airport in my weakened state. I met a group of women through a shared love of fiber arts. Three of them took me shopping and showered me with small gifts over an afternoon of knitting together. Another knitter asked me to come to her home for dinner, later revising the invitation to include having me as a house guest and showing me things I would never have seen about her region had I been the typical tourist. The human connections I was blessed to make with Indians and the things they were generous enough to share with me were hands down the best parts of my trip. Some not great things happened as well. I expect that with any long trip but they were far and away eclipsed by the wonderful experiences I had seeing not only the typical sites, but the things Indians were proud to show me. If you are open to it, you will find magic, beauty and grace in India. Indians are incredibly generous if you just take the time to form real bonds with some of the locals.
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u/OutrageousCapital906 1d ago
I’m glad you got these great photos for me to look at so I never have to go there in person.
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u/mtnfj40ds 22h ago
That is a sad approach to travel! India is beautiful. I love visiting Bengaluru. My next trip will be to the Himalayas.
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u/Mitaslaksit 1d ago
Well, my husband is 6'3 and blonde and was stared at all the time plus everyone wanted a picture with him. It's unfathomable to us that there are so many ppl in India and for most a different looking person is a first. The garbage is truly an issue but if nothing is done by the big bosses, nothing happens on lower levels. Most are too poor to care about environmental issues.
That being said, India is incredible and I will probably go back a thrid time. I live very comfortably there, no roughing it and eat in good restaurants. Fucking amazing.
Use Uber always and for longer trips hire a driver. It's still veeeery cheap compared to what you'd pay back home.
India has all my adhd brain craves!
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u/miccphoto 1d ago
These pictures are amazing! You should make a post for your pictures from Petra and any others you may have from Jordan! I’d love to see those.
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u/simeonce 1d ago
Can anyone explain how to take these photos (like the Taj Mahal ones), is it something possible with a decent phone?
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u/kobeburner 1d ago edited 1d ago
I shot these on a full frame mirrorless camera. I use a Sony a7iv with a 70-200mm gm ii lens. I should have brought a 16-35mm too but such is life. The 4th image is the only one from my iPhone. You may be able to get similar shots with other non-Apple mobile products.
I am no pro photographer but my friend group and acquaintances consistently tell me I take good photos. I don’t believe I do though but it’s nice to hear the positive feedback.
Anyway, my general rule of thumb (camera phone or professional device) is to shoot through things, and have a foreground, middle ground, and background element to generate a unique composition. Leading lines and bokeh in some circumstances are great as well.
Find your subject whatever it may be, isolate it, look for contrasting light, and shoot. Practice consistently, shoot at dawn and dusk for ideal lighting conditions, and get creative.
Good luck.
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u/kittykat4289 1d ago
Listen to your friends. ❤️
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u/kobeburner 1d ago
❤️🙏🏽 this made my day, thank you 🥹.
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u/viridescent-bosky 1d ago
I’m just a random person on the internet. I wouldn’t lie to you. You have a real talent!
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u/Cerenas Netherlands | 23 countries visited 1d ago
Yes, it's possible. It's mostly the creativity of the photographer. OP took some nice shots there.
Of course you'll need a decent phone, preferably with a camera app that has more options than just point and shoot.
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u/absorbscroissants 1d ago
Like half of these photos would be impossible to take with a phone. Phone cameras make very different pictures, especially when you have to zoom.
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u/DifficultCarob408 1d ago
Agreed - I have an iPhone 15 pro max and even with that you’ll never reproduce most of the shots OP has taken.
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u/Hey_ya_09 20h ago edited 20h ago
As an Indian just my two cents.
Most foreigners have India in their bucket list purely because of Taj Mahal ,so they visit TM, Agra, most of old Delhi ,Jaipur and decide to dislike the country.
As an Indian if I had to suggest places of visit to a foreigner these wouldnt even be in my top 10 and no I'm not just talking about South India. Even in North you should visit places like Gujarat, Himachal, Uttarakhand, Chandigarh, Kashmir , WB to name a few. Most of Delhi Agra is congested and unclean and filled with rude people. So as much as it is a part of our country it doesn't represent most of the rest of our country fairly
Edit: Just like the rest of India I completely forgot the North East smh. Would recommend visiting 10/10
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u/Darthpwner 1d ago
Love the Taj Mahal pics. I went for the first time last year as well and while I had a good time overall, I also don't think I'd go back to Northern India.
Maybe the Southern parts or Himalayas, which I heard are much nicer.
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u/Previous-Wallaby-130 1d ago
I am glad you got a chance to visit India. I go every few years. Each country has different norms and it can be unnerving at times. I would highly recommend using a full service as you noted. That will help with culture clash. India has come a long way since the colonial rule and has a long journey ahead. The Taj Mahal visit still echoes in my memory as one of the most amazing things ever. Even with the air pollution the marble is amazing and the precision cuts back in that time are awe inspiring. I hope you go back as the people are amazing and the hospitality is something that is embedded in their culture. That being said not all people are created equal so please exercise caution. Good luck on your future travels.
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u/nycplayboy78 1d ago
Fellow tall Black American man here (6'6") and let me tell you I had the EXACT same experience in India when I visited and toured the Taj Mahal. Your suggestions about private everything is spot on. The looks I got from people especially the men was truly unnerving and rattling. I was happy that I was with an Indian Tour Company and our guide told me what how to handle the situation. Also if it wasn't for people wanting to touch me, touch my hair (locs), and rub my skin to see if my melanin would come off. I mean there were native Indians DARKER than me but I was the attraction??!! The food was AMAZING and I will leave it at that and I put India on the same list as China when I visited The Great Wall of China. I give people grace in foreign countries as they may have never seen an actual Black person in well person (pun intended) but the touching and grabbing is just too much....Also Petra was AMAZING in Jordan and I will most definitely go back again when the opportunity arises.
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u/Clear-Mongoose-5078 20h ago edited 20h ago
Agree with everything OP said!
I travel internationally a lot, and ironically spend the most money traveling in India (despite how far the dollar goes) … because we splurge on nice hotels and private cars to take us around. It is just too exhausting to take public transit or risk illness at mid-range hotels.
For those planning a trip to India, HIGHLY recommend the north (Assam, Darjeeling) or the south (particularly Kerala) rather than the more heavily traveled cities or Rajasthan/Uttar Pradesh/etc. The far north and south are pastoral, walkable, charming.
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u/Dangerous-Smoke-5487 1d ago
As a lesbian I’d love to visit India, but I fear it would be unsafe. Such a shame, as it seems to have many incredible places
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u/Justcuriousyoung 1d ago
If u wish to visit India, I recommend u stay with a close friend from India that you can trust with your life. One thing I have learned from tourists is that southern India feels safer for women but you should travel with a male companion or a close Indian friend. I can recommend places if u like :).
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u/Dangerous-Smoke-5487 1d ago
I’ve heard that too! I sadly don’t know anyone from India. But I’ve considered visiting southern India anyway. Is there any place you’d recommend?
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u/Justcuriousyoung 1d ago
One nice place is Tamil Nadu. Very beautiful state and the capital is Chennai. I am not from Tamil Nadu but from what I heard, Chennai is a safe city for women. But whenever visiting any country, you should have precautions as usual so just be prepared incase of anything.
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u/MuffledApplause 1d ago
As a woman, I would simply never go there.
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u/Dangerous-Smoke-5487 1d ago
Eh, I still have hope that I can visit in… 30 years or so.
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u/Sarebot19 1d ago
My son (who is now 13) started telling us as soon as he could talk, about his life before we were his parents. He lived his ‘First life’ (his words) in India. He pointed consistently to his town on a map and talked about what it was like there. And has always wanted to go back. So I have just booked us a tour in September. I’m nervous (I hate smells, noise and lots of people) he will be 14 at the time of travel and is VERY excited to go to his first home. We are white Australians and I have never doubted his story.
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u/bredbuttgem 1d ago
I really wish you all would come down to South India. The golden triangle region is so overhyped.
You'll see the most beautiful temples (way more ancient than the Taj Mahal, and really well preserved) - in Tamil Nadu and Karnataka. You'll see the most beautiful forests and backwaters in Kerala and Karnataka. You'll get mind-blowing food in Tamil Nadu. You get beautiful beaches along the western coast - Goa, Karnataka and Kerala. You'll get the best fish curries in Kerala and South Karnataka.
The western ghats are amongst the most unique regions in terms of biodiversity and you have a lot of small and private nature hotels that will organise forest treks. You can go to wildlife sanctuaries as well. Plus there are multiple hilly areas you can visit.
In Karnataka, you have Hampi and the surrounding region for ancient architecture. In Tamil Nadu, there are so many temples - Chidambaram, Madurai, kanchipuram, Tanjore, Kanyakumari, etc.
As these states are relatively more developed compared to the north, you have decent highways, good hotels, nicer people, and cleaner cities & towns.
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u/kobeburner 1d ago
Thank you for sharing this. I like to read other perspectives even if they differ from mine.
I really wanted to visit Kerala but didn’t have enough time for this trip. So, that’ll be a distant future vacation. What are some great beach destinations down there? I live in Southern California so my standards are high in that regard.
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u/bredbuttgem 1d ago
Goa has a lot of beaches, but most of them are now overcrowded and full of shacks with a ton of tourists. There are quieter beaches on the southern side of Goa. Goa also has a lot more than just the beach culture - if you ever happen to be in India during the monsoons, and if you like rain, you should definitely explore the forests, the old Portugese churches and the islands in Goa.
Kerala also has a few decent beaches but again, they're crowded.. places like varkala. Kerala has amazing backwaters though and beautiful sanctuaries, tea estates.
As a South Indian, I feel extremely disappointed with how the idea of India is entirely north-centric - right from the food, the culture, and the popular travel areas. India is incredibly diverse, and the 5 southern states are so unique and offer a completely different experience to the north.
Just to give you an idea - southern states do not usually eat wheat based products (though these are more commonly available now) - our food is rice centric. South also has a strong meat eating culture. Infact, Kerala has amazing beef curry and beef biryani, interior tamil nadu has rabbit, turkey, duck and other water fowl, quail, mutton, etc.
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u/Heretoread_26 1d ago
If you like the mountains then India also has amazing hill stations, some more touristy than the others but, if you are staying in a fancy hotel and have a pre-booked private vehicle for your travel, then you would have an amazing time!
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u/Khaleesiakose 1d ago
Seconding the hill stations - Munnar and the like
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u/soil_nerd 1d ago
Munnar is quite pretty, if you like places like it I would also highly suggest Ella, Sri Lanka as well. It’s similar but has a much nicer town than Munnar and the mountains are quite a bit steeper/more dramatic.
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u/vizbiz98 1d ago
Varkala is a great beach destination in Kerala. It’s a cliffside town with a hip vibe and serene beaches. You could take surfing lessons there. After that I’d recommend beaches in south Goa in Cabo De Rama, Canacona area - the beaches are less popular but super underrated. Kochi doesn’t have a great beach but has everything else culturally to be part of a heritage visit. If you could get a drone and do aerial shots here you’ll know how insane this part looks.
Munnar and Suryanelli is like a 3hr drive from Kochi, and is one of the best hill stations in the south with majestic tea gardens and some really cool viewpoints
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u/WorryVisual5123 16h ago
Going to the golden triangle and writing off a whole country as big as India is like visiting London and writing off the whole of the EU. I love India but found Delhi too much for me. The litter thing is tough to handle, but it's also a very western centric view, it should make you realise it is a privilege to grow up in countries that have had bin collections for decades. It's just not a priority for many people for a range of reasons. It's also a completely different experience in other areas eg. Kerala.
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u/humptheedumpthy 1d ago
I’d like to add a perspective on why the staring exists.
Even amongst/within Indian people, some people will often stare out of curiosity if they see something different. The “it’s rude to stare” etiquette somehow wasn’t ingrained into the psyche of people so when they see something that is unexpected, as opposed to a quick glance they will just stare.
Combined with #1 above, most small town Indians have rarely seen or interacted with someone “non Indian” or of a different skin color than theirs. So their curiosity is at 100% (who is this person, what are they doing here, do they speak like me, wow their hair is different etc etc).
Of course unfortunately there is a #3 for women travelers which is that there are certainly some shitty men out there who are thinking bad thoughts BUT I would say by and large in most cases it is curiosity rather than bad intentions
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u/castlebanks 1d ago edited 1d ago
I don’t think I’ll ever spend my money visiting this country, but nice pictures
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u/kobeburner 1d ago
Thanks.
Yep. Not sure I’ll be back. I wanted to come home halfway through our trip. Felt like I needed a vacation from the vacation.
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u/InclinationCompass 1d ago
India always felt like a place id want to visit once but not again until it’s more developed
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u/Oakislet 1d ago
The money get you a lot though.
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u/sancheta 1d ago
Stayed at a top 5 star hotel in Delhi for under $100/night and couldn't not even enjoy the pool since the sky was thick with pollution.
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u/mimivuvuvu 1d ago
Visited once for work & glad I did (because of the Taj). No one can pay me to ever go back again
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u/V-Right_In_2-V 1d ago
I love how you checked out the Lotus Temple. It might have been my favorite part of India, and yet it never gets mentioned
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u/Sleekonomics 1d ago
The pictures are beautiful. It’s sad but I can’t disagree with your post. Agra and other tourist places have tragically not developed and continue to remain filthy and disregarding.
I’m Indian so of course this is biased but I wish people would give other places a chance, so that their experience can be more tempered. Personally I’m a big fan of the mountains up North and Kerala. Not that you’re not going to be stared at there but it’ll certainly be a lot lesser than in these places
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u/Necessary-Buffalo288 1d ago
So sorry with what you have felt, OP. Each of our travel experiences are unique and you are free to feel that way.
I am a petite asian woman and traveled to India solo. The country doesn’t have the best reputation when it comes to women’s safety so I took a private tour but that didn’t stop me from getting stared at by locals. Heck, I even got scammed by those photographers in Taj Mahal with very awful photography skills. Had to really be awful and stand my ground to not get scammed further. I would even turn down selfie requests from locals and give the stink eye to people so they stop staring. The scam spoiled my mood that morning but the view of the place made me forget about it instantly.
Will I come back? Most likely, with the intent of visiting the south and combine it with Sri Lanka and Maldives. But at that time, I’ll make sure to bring my husband and son with me. At least by then, I know what to expect and what to look out for.
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u/kobeburner 1d ago
Love your take. I am sure your next trip is more memorable and meaningful
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u/abcpdo 1d ago
"The poverty is disturbing and the absurd amount of garbage is nightmare fuel for environmentalists. Locals don’t seem to care much about the cleanliness in the urban areas. Watched several people willingly throw trash into the street from apartments and train cars. Why do they do this?"
Come to Baltimore and you'll wonder the same.
Terrific photos
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u/Ok-Lecture-5880 1d ago
I would say if it is your first visit to India: stick to extreme north: Himalayas or south India. Himachal is very calm and friendly - same goes for south. You need to be seasoned to travel around central and northern India.
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u/Bartellomio 1d ago
This will likely be your experience in a lot of developing countries. I'm a white man but I still experienced being stared at or treated as a source of money to be mined.the pollution, feeling of sketchiness. And the questionable food safety. This was the case in Morocco, Egypt, and India (all three are the only developing countries I've been to).
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u/alittlegnat 1d ago
The guys hair in the last photo tho- he looks like a model
I love all these photos. It seems you have a good eye (to my untrained eyes) !
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u/Capital_Lecture_9594 1d ago
One thing is for sure , No matter what one's post about India it's gonna get thousands of likes !!!
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u/ArunMu 1d ago
To the future travellers to India, visit south india and avoid north if you want to prevent such situations. It is bit more cleaner, less gawkers, less polluted, less insistent tuktuk drivers.
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u/CPMarketing 1d ago
India is so huge. What cities were you in? Anywhere rural? The north and south are so vastly different.
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u/nithinnm123 1d ago
India is not just Delhi and Agra though. It's a massive country with varied cultures and languages.
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u/manish_sk 1d ago
Sad you had to face this in while traveling to India. If you ever think visiting again can suggest you more places where people are much friendly & accepting.
Mumbai, Kerala & Kashmir are places where you will find people a lot more accepting to tourists. There are historical places in Karnataka, Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu & Kerala.
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u/argyxbargy 23h ago
As a petite woman covered in tattoos, with a pretty well say unusual haircut, I get the comfort side of it. The stares, grabs, ask for pics. Complete culture shock. But I cannot wait to go back
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u/Interesting-Nose-911 22h ago
Guys. It depends on state to state. Taj mahal is in Uttat Pradesh, one of the crowded and dirtiest state. Also people from those states have little to no civic sense. I would suggest to visit himachal states in the north or south india. You will feel the opposite of this.
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u/Interesting-Nose-911 22h ago
Guys. It depends on state to state. Taj mahal is in Uttat Pradesh, one of the crowded and dirtiest state. Also people from those states have little to no civic sense. I would suggest to visit himachal states in the north or south india. You will feel the opposite of this.
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u/JetAbyss USA (HI) 20h ago
I heard Kochi, Kerala is much nicer than the rest of India, is that true?
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u/baddyboy 18h ago
I see that you visited only a handful of extremely touristy places…And hey sorry to hear about your experience and feelings.
I understand feelings are personal and not every person will feel the same…no arguments from my side.
As an Indian, I will only wish you the best and hope your visits to other parts of the world brings you much joy and happiness :)
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u/seaolive8914 16h ago
India is tough is for a lot of people. My friends and family who have visited from Sri Lanka have also experienced culture shock (sans the staring since they more or less blend in). That said, as many have mentioned, give south India (and Sri Lanka) a try as well! Similar but less chaos!
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u/AnotherWorldWanderer 9h ago
I keep wondering why people keep visiting India. Bro, you felt like that imagine blondie or light haired white women. I have terror stories been told that are horrendous. I’d recommend to anyone to Stay away from it
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u/rarsamx 1d ago
I lasted 2 days in Kolkata. I visited friends. Couldn't stand another second and the second day at midnight I booked a flight to Rajasthan for 8 am. I was at 6 am at the airport.
I loved the Taj Mahal but was disgusted by the filth and marveled by the artisans around it.
Rajasthan was totally different, very poor but magical.
I may still go to Goa and the north west but no Kolkata or any other big city.
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u/kay_fitz21 Canada 1d ago edited 1d ago
I spent 2 weeks in Madya Pradesh, India, visiting national parks. It was incredible doing all the safaris. Seen 21 tigers, 2 leopards, and 3 sloth bears. Air was clean, hardly a tourist around. Amazing food. Then spent 2 days in Delhi & Agra at the end of the trip to see the Taj Mahal, and it was all too much for me. I'm not much of a city person to begin with, but I can't imagine staying in the cities longer than we did.
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u/Stick-Electronic 1d ago
Ahhh India. Put of 54 countries I've been to it's the only one where I want to punch and hug the same person in the same second.
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u/anonymousbear22 1d ago
i love your photos!! i love that the mix of wide shots with context and zoom shots with detail. what lens r u shooting with?
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u/kobeburner 1d ago
Thanks! I shoot with a Sony a7iv. The lens I used was a 70-200 gm ii. Wish I had brought a 16-35.
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u/Guilty-Platform4305 1d ago
Once you get used to the staring, it's not so unnerving. Staring is not rude. Everyone does it so I just lean into it.
The south is definitely more chill than the north and was more my vibe. But the sites in the north were incredible. I've been lucky enough to see the taj mahal 3 times, and it takes my breath away.
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u/Kitty-Kat-65 1d ago
India has way too many people for my comfort. I imagine the monuments and arhitecture are amazing, but just waaay too people-y for me.
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u/Impressive_Wind_405 1d ago
Thank you for a balanced view. You’re right. India has a long way to go. But it has potential like few other countries do. Indians are proud yet still lacking in civic sense. We consider this land to be a mother, yet dump garbage onto her. Sort of sums up the cognitive dissonance people face when they come here. We hope that the next 20-30 years allows for that exponential development phase to finally arrive so that the country can clean up, educate its citizens and join the ranks of medium income countries.
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u/theshubhagrwl 1d ago
Indian here. I am sad to say that I can’t deny what you have mentioned here. People here behave very differently when they see some foreign people, i never understood why. It’s not that I have seen others do so, but even some of my closed friends did the same and it actually made me so uncomfortable seeing them, can’t even imagine what the foreign guy must have felt.
Apart from that if you manage to find the right company and skip overcrowded place then the exp will be good. On my last trek I met a guy who was from London and he was travelling solo in india for past 15 days and his experience was wonderful. Ofc I didn’t stare him to make him uncomfortable lol
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u/friedchicken_legs 23h ago
I'm so sorry you went through that. I can tell you as a person of Indian descent, the staring never stops. No matter how modern we become or how far we travel. I hate it
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u/sometimeswhy 22h ago
I’m currently in Japan and astonished by the cleanliness. Not a speck of litter anywhere and there are no garbage cans. People are expected to take their garbage with them and they do
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u/fergiefergz 1d ago
I’m a black woman and all of my Indian friends told me to never go to India…This post just validates it even more
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u/kobeburner 1d ago edited 1d ago
I mean, I wouldn’t say don’t visit but if you do, everything needs to be private everywhere all the time. If not, your experience is going to be insanity however good or bad.
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u/buckwurst 20h ago
Visiting Delhi and then dismissing the while of India would be similar to visiting Miami and then dismissing the whole of the US.
Note, am not saying Delhi is like Miami, just that it's a huge country with different languages, foods, terrains, etc
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u/jimerthy-gw 1d ago
It's amazing all the progress they have made since their English enslavers left.....
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u/thisissamuelclemens 1d ago
I've wanted to visit India in the past because I love the food and their national monuments look amazing but everyone that I know that has been there does not recommend it. Everyone describes it as too dirty to visit. There's no sense of personal space or that it just smells bad everywhere you go. I don't think i'll ever visit since there's so many other places on Earth I'd go before.
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u/TheMats80 1d ago
I visited india for work 16 years ago and as a white male it felt like everyone was just out to scam you there. I was there for four months. The country, architecture and landscape was wonderful. Visited Agra and the TM and some other tourist places northover but was mostly around Bangalore during the time. Would not be in my top of countries to visit as a tourist.
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u/ReflexPoint 1d ago
If you think you got stared at a lot, ask any blonde woman who has been to India.
I know two Latina women who went to southern India and went to the beach. Guys were being creepy as hell to them.
That said I'd love to see India one day.
Did you have any stomach issues from the food?
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u/kobeburner 1d ago
I can’t even fathom being a foreign woman in India.
No stomach issues but we didn’t eat any street food. Didn’t seem all that sanitary to do so which really stinks because we love street food! Oh well next time!
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u/velenom 1d ago
No place on Earth stresses me like India, let's just say they have no concept of personal space there. You still got it easy, you cold have been a solo blonde girl.
I've been twice, 10 years apart, and I promised myself at least 10 more years need to pass before I visit again.
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u/sancheta 1d ago
I've been to 40-50 countries and India is the only country I did not like. Never again. Nearby Sri Lanka is absolutely incredible!
However, my reasons were different. I was not gawked at like yourself, but was constantly trying to be hustled and many many other reasons. The pollution!!! That said, I, a European male, was sometimes grabbed for pictures in less touristy spots in sub-Saharan Africa.
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u/rocksfried 1d ago
I’ve been to 27 countries and as a woman, I will never visit India. It’s a shame because it seems like it has some cool places to see, but it’s not worth it for me. I have zero interest in visiting a country that has 90+ reported rapes every single day (which probably means 300+ a day considering those stats are only on ones that are reported).
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u/sm753 United States of America 1d ago
Hard pass.
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u/xDippyDawgx 1d ago
I like that you’ve been downvoted but in my opinion it’s the nicest thing to say about that country. As a female (or just a human being) I will never choose to have my basic human rights violated to get some cool pictures. I would be willing to bet money that I would be sexually assaulted, scammed and probably very ill within the first few hours. Totally worth the risk…
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u/PivotdontTwist 1d ago
I’m in Delhi right now, and am getting the stares. I genuinely just don’t give a flying fuck.
Even when I get followed.. I have video of one guy persistently following me, to the point where I had to Allen Iverson crossover his lmao. I had him in front of me, and as we passed a T-intersection in Chandni Chowk, I quickly went the other direction.
I’m also really good at ignoring people. There’s no point in letting it stress you, I just keep walking at a normal and sometimes slower pace, and they eventually let it go.
Occasionally a genuinely cool guy will come, but I’ve had that same cool guy end up asking for shit and it’s like alright bro, it’s time to go.
I’m only on day 2 of being here (multiple cities) for 2 weeks. The poverty and dirtiness is quite disturbing, but it’s all part of the experience man. I’m loving my time here, even as I choke through a cloud of smog in dirty ass back alleyway.
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u/catgotcha 1d ago
India drove me absolutely batshit. But I loved it. It's an absolute assault on the senses both good and bad.
It's a test of self, for sure.
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u/fitmedcook 1d ago
I enjoyed travelling in India but I didnt like India if that makes sense. Constant harassment, abject poverty and an ever prominent ecological disaster ruin the beautiful landscapes and culture for me. But since I was expecting all of that I was definitely not disappointed.
Not a place I recommend to others and I cant imagine travelling there with a family. So Im very glad I did it
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u/Various-Apartment123 1d ago
I’ve been to 45ish countries and India is the only one I’d have to be talked into going back to. It’s so overwhelming and I didn’t get enough out of it to feel like I need to return. Traffic, noise, filth, it was just all too much. I ended up eating at my hotel because I didn’t want to take an hour drive to a restaurant 3 miles away and there was no safe way to walk. I’m a hearty traveler and it’s just not for me.
If I can pair a different part of the country with another trip I have planned, I may try that, but there are too many places in the world that I want to see to subject myself to that again.
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u/Dull_Throat176 1d ago
You shouldn’t. It’s awful. Extremely racist, terrible infrastructure even in tier 1 cities, and super unsafe for basically everyone.
I’m Indian btw.
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u/flycity2 1d ago
I am a small white man (wearing a beard if that matters) and fully resonate with the staring, being grabbed, asked questions, "offered" unsolicited rides, etc...It can indeed become a bit exhausting. It happened even when I would not have expected tourists to draw attention.
Funny thing, though, is when I inadvertently found myself staring at a rickshaw driver to confirm it was the one who had tried to rip me off the night before (i.e. asking 30 USD for a 1-minute ride). I was staring so intensely that he asked me what I was looking at. He then proceeded to offer me another unsolicited ride at the same price.