Struggling with social anxiety? Here are a few mindset shifts that helped me:

1.Stop trying to be liked. The more you focus on being liked, the more anxious you’ll feel. It puts your brain in “performance mode.”

2.Start focusing on being present. Shift your attention from yourself to the person you’re talking to. What are they saying? How are they feeling?

3.Connection > impression. People respond better when they feel heard and seen — not when you try to be perfect or clever.

4.Ground yourself in the moment. Notice your surroundings, breathe deeply, and anchor yourself in the “now” instead of your thoughts.

5.Silence is okay. Don’t fear pauses. They’re natural. You’re not awkward — you’re just human.

6.Small wins matter. Even brief eye contact, a smile, or saying “hi” counts. Celebrate that. You’re retraining your brain.

7.You’re not being judged as harshly as you think. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to analyze your every move.

These shifts didn’t cure my anxiety overnight, but they made social interactions way less scary. Hope this helps someone out there.

So I've had social anxiety since I was a teenager, and I was prescribed escitalopram when I was 20 and stopped it when I was 22 due to weight gain (40 kg) . After that, I learned about propranolol so I started using it before any major social event I need to attend or speak at. I'm currently 30 yo. I recently started trying to do exposure therapy with one person at a time or small groups and without taking propranolol. Things were going well for a whole month and I gained positive momentum. One day my manager, my colleagues, and myself were invited to the launch of a new medical device in my field of practice by a certain company. I thought that it would be a good time to attend such events without using propranolol especially because I won't be speaking in this event, so I attended and things were going pretty well before the event started. There was some time to socialise with people from different hospitals and I was doing great despite them being total strangers. But that unfortunately didn't continue for long. Once the event started, the moderator decided to ask everyone to introduce themselves, including the attendees. I got tachycardia and I was hyperventilating as if someone was chasing me with a knife. When it was my turn my voice was completely gone and when I tried to talk it sounded as if I was crying, so I passed the microphone to the person sitting next to me without finishing what I was saying. This was 2 months ago. Since then, I keep remembering what happened on daily basis and get the same symptoms again even when I'm alone. I feel ashamed every time I see my manager and everyone who attended that event.

It's really important not to experiment with exposure therapy at professional settings or when there's something at stake. It could cause trauma instead of helping you overcome social anxiety.

I don’t have any anxiety of nervousness when approaching social situations, such as when someone comes up to talk to me. I feel calm.

You know what my problem is? I just can’t find any words to say. My mind blanks out. Sometimes it takes me seconds to figure out the word I wanna say. Nothing is automatic like most normal people I know. It sucks because I wanna be better at socializing. But I feel like I’m just too stupid to hold a conversation.

I’ve started to read books to build my vocabulary but only time will tell if it will help my conversation skills. Anyone else feel this way?

I wanna laugh a bit

I've been feeling really alone and feel like I only have my dad tbh, but hes 65 and feel like his times coming. I don't have anyone else because maintaining a relationship stresses me out and makes me really anxious or scared. Its so hard to maintain friends man. I feel so low and stressed out. I don't know who to go to talk about my problems. I feel like im siffocating/drowning. Im actually gonna check into the hospital due to extreme emotional distress and stress.

I’m so afraid it’s going to be one giant trauma for me and that it’s going to make me feel like school did. School was so traumatic for me and it got to the point I had to drop out and finish school at home. And for ten years I've done nothing since finishing high school. Just wasting away in my room. I'm legit terrified of getting a job. I don't think I can even hold a job for more than a day. What am I supposed to do? Therapy and medication has never helped. I feel like there's just no hope for me and I should just end it all.

I have a very hard time looking around the room because I feel like everyone is looking at me, which makes it hard to be myself. I keep having embarrassing moments where I look up and make quick eye contact and then look down suddenly, (this also just happened with a cute guy I work with). I need advice? You can tell Im abnormal and im trying so hard to cover it up 😂😭 I feel so embarrassed. I'd appreciate any advice or encouragement if any . Thank you

r/sa_memetherapy

I would like to shout out all the boyfriend ASMR audio creators out there because I just had the best socialization week of my entire life.

After seven straight months of not holding eye contact for more than 3 seconds, I held eye contact ~80% of the time with every single person I've talked to this past week.

Boyfriend ASMR has genuinely (and ashamedly) built my confidence around others by allowing me to roleplay while I'm working on menial tasks, thus improving my conversational skills and response times, so I can be in a flow state of talking when with others. The conversational confidence made it easier to sit straighter and truly be immersed in what was happening around me and with the person in front of me, no longer dissociating and looking away.

(Also they come with an added bonus of making me feel giddy and delusional so absolute win-win)

Title pretty much says it all. Maybe everyone feels this way idk. But when I have only a couple of drinks, my inhibitions are right where I feel they should normally be. I say things that are on my mind but normally wouldn’t say because I’m too shy and introverted. I stand up for myself, which I don’t do when I’m sober. I’m normally very awkward sober, and I know that other people can see it too, but when I have a couple drinks I don’t feel that way. And I feel like I actually have more clarity of things when I’m a little tipsy but not obliterated. Anyone know how I can encapsulate that energy when I’m sober during my M-F and 9-5? 30M if that matters. Just so you know that I’m not a teenager who just had his first drink.

Unless you have been specifically diagnosed with anxiety disorder by a medical professional, in 80% of cases it is just a phase, you will grow out of it as you get older, you can obviously take steps to speed up this process, but don’t let it worry you too much.

PS: I think that in most cases even medical professionals can be wrong, since they have no objective test to measure social anxiety unless you often get real panic attacks to the point where you find it hard to breathe, i was prescribed benzodiazepines for my “anxiety” just to later realise I grew out of it pretty quickly without taking any actionable steps.

I have heard recently about the potential of SE in healing and alleviating social anxiety ..

I am doing exposure for the social anxiety for a long long time but it’s no more than a temporary relief

I’m looking for success stories and recommendations on this kind of treatment for this specific issue

And I would also love to know if you guys think SE generally is an approach that can help social anxiety anyway - or it depends and some practices that aren’t focused solely around it won’t be effective?

Oftentimes, I hear people attributing social anxiety to a feeling of inferiority.
However, I’ve been wondering - can one, conversely, experience social anxiety not from feeling inferior, but from feeling superior to others?

That is, one might feel like they have to wallow in the mud in order to "fit in."
They may find most people to be ill-bred, shallow, and toxic - and to speak to them requires either dumbing oneself down or talking down to them to match their childish vibe.

Just as an adult might feel ridiculous playing pretend with toddlers, engaging with certain people can feel equally absurd.

I understand that might come across as condescending - or worse, narcissistic - but I have no interest in most people. I simply see them for what they are.

I genuinely think we aren’t all that different from animals. We’re selfish, ego-driven, status-obsessed, and sex-driven. The only thing that separates us is our intelligence - but even that mostly serves to make us more cunning in the same primal games.

Maybe one might feel socially anxious not because of inferiority, but because they have come to a conscious understanding of the social game people are playing. The realization that interactions are often shallow, driven by ego and status, can lead to discomfort. It's like being aware of the 'pretend game' everyone is participating in - seeing it for what it is - and realizing that to engage, one must either play along or remain detached.

For me, the idea of being a hermit is more appealing than trying to adapt to a social environment I neither respect nor enjoy

Anyone else dread the summer season because of their SA?

I mean, I love the hotter weather, but in a lot of ways I prefer the winter as it's easier to hide yourself away in thick, heavy coats, and just altogether be more anonymous. I can also do things under the cover of darkness, such as putting out the bins. God, I hate doing that during the summer.

I also dread the type of people that come out from under their rocks. Playing their loud music for everyone to hear, shouting & screaming & generally reminding me why I prefer my own company. Ugh, I just can't stand those cockroaches. It's the same every year.

Hurry up, winter.

i think that all of the time. i think my life is pathetic and i look at pictures of me as a child when i was happy and i cry because i always think that i really let that kid down

32f. I’ve recently been Included in a group of friends thats goes out to dinner, brunch, weekend activities etc.

I haven’t had friends in a really long time, mostly because it’s easier than to be in constant panic mode around friends so I just avoided friendships the past few years.

I’m trying to push myself!! I’ve gone to a few outings, alcohol helps a little, but I still find myself extremely anxious, twitching, hard time with eye contact, internal uncomfortableness that makes me want to bolt out of there etc. it’s like I finally relax after the outing is over but I want to enjoy it.

Tips as in: medications to take as needed? Mental tricks ? Help!!

I've struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I would get overstimulated at family parties (birthdays, Christmases, gatherings, didn't matter) and feel this deep desire to remove myself. I would go into a bathroom, or empty room and just be there by myself - almost replaying what I had just observed but imagining how I would be a part of it, if I was capable; or later on in life I would put my headphones in, listen to music and disassociate for as long as I felt I could be away without someone coming to look for me.

At 18, I moved in with my then-boyfriends family. I got deeply depressed and my social anxiety was at an all time high. I wouldn't leave our shared room to use the bathroom or eat, if I knew people were home. I would avoid running into his family as much as possible. I was this weird, quiet girl that lived in the house but was rarely seen. Super unhealthy and harmful on all fronts, it was a rough year and a half.

On the other side of the coin, I was very social with chosen friends and close cousins. I never struggled to have a unit, but I was constantly triggered by super lively get togethers, or big family situations. I've coped in both healthy and unhealthy ways through the years. Growing into myself, becoming more confident, leaning into hobbies, drinking, drugs, the whole gamut, really. Now, at 31, my social anxiety feels super particular and cumbersome. Post-covid, I've moved to a new city, started WFH and do very little outside of my house. I feel like I've fallen into a reclusive state that wasn't intentional but easy, and has certainly reinvigorated my deep-routed social anxiety.

This weekend, my boyfriend told me his parents would be visiting. I love his parents, but I wasn't particularly looking forward to it as I've had a long and busy work-week coupled with consecutive nights of not sleeping. I really wanted the weekend to myself, but again, I love his parents so I figured I could just power through. The plan was for his dad to help him build a desk from scratch - which inherently meant, I would be responsible for entertaining his mom & aunt, who were also coming along. Once they were here, I did my best to be personable, myself and spend time with them, however, I was really struggling. I wanted so badly to not interact, and just be alone, and have some down time. It feels important to share, that they also primarily speak Spanish. I grew up speaking it, but for some reason, it feels harder to "have a personality" in Spanish, because I'm not perfectly fluent in the language and have to think harder about how to word things. It's harder to be funny, or witty, or myself, it feels...very surface level given my proficiency. Anyway, my boyfriend tells me the day of that it's likely they'll stay over, which means the whole weekend is to be spent with them. I felt bad about how much I didn't want this right now, but I asked him at least, what the plan was for both days, to which he said "idk, we're just going to chill and play it by ear." I got pretty overwhelmed by this, and immediately was in my head about being normal. All was fine Day 1, until this morning (Day 2)... everyone woke up early, my bf and his dad got to work on finishing the desk and his mom & aunt went shopping for a little. I slept in, very conscious of the fact that I was in fact, trying to avoid interaction. At some point, I go downstairs and, his mom is cleaning our whole kitchen and living room, his aunt is outside repotting plants, he's working on the desk with his dad upstairs and I... just wanted to disappear. I didn't know how, or feel capable of fitting into the situation at hand. I didn't want to help his mom clean the house I had already cleaned in preparation for their arrival, I didn't want to small talk, I didn't want to be up and about. So I hid in my room. Claimed I had a headache and just doom-scrolled under the covers for hours. I could feel the guilt building up. I felt rude, and annoying and burdensome. But all of a sudden, I was 18 again, ignoring my body's needs in order to avoid interaction. I felt suffocated and trapped in my own home. The longer I hid, the harder it became to get up an "be normal." All I wanted was either, for them to leave, or for me to find a way to teleport somewhere else, but as soon as they were gone, I felt myself again, and simultaneously the guilt began to plague me. They're such lovely people, I love my boyfriend in a way I haven't loved past boyfriends, we've been together for a long time now and it shouldn't be this hard. I wish I understood myself, my triggers, why I become so paralyzed so suddenly. I've recently started therapy and looking forward to talking about it this week. But thought I'd let these thoughts go in a safe place for now, as I reflect.

This is something I've been thinking about for a long while, but I've never came across other posts sharing the same sentiment. For whatever reason, life was easier when most people were wearing face masks. I don't really understand why I felt this was an easier time. I found with face masks I would more frequently go to cashier tills (rather than self-service), or ask a question. Pre-covid, as depressing as it is to come to this realisation; looking back over years, I've never had an actual conversation with a stranger, or stopped to chat. I have fleeting moments in shops where I will push myself to talk, but I am more just saying a statement and moving on, rather than entering conversation.

I mean I wasn't having full-blown conversations while mask-wearing, but I certainly felt way more at ease and comfortable out in public. I definitely noticed that the monthly challenge I always set myself to at least once a month ask to buy a lottery ticket... just as an excuse to challenge myself. I think it's referred to as exposure therapy. I tended to try that more then.

I thought I'd just throw that out there and see if anyone who has social anxiety can relate. Curious if anyone has managed to get that feeling back.

I don't know what it is, but my mental health with regards to social anxiety is getting worse these days, even though I've been putting in more effort to go out and meet people these days.

For example, if someone doesn't reply to a text I'd sent, for whatever reason, I feel convinced that they don't like me, they find me annoying, or I did something to upset them. Or whenever I hang out with someone, I almost immediately cringe at myself when I get back home and I'm alone; if I'm not immediately cringing at myself, then it's guaranteed that it will be the first I do the next morning.

And I know that those feelings are often unfounded and irrational, but that's why we call it social "anxiety', I guess - because anxiety is founded on irrationality a lot of the time. I'm not necessarily looking for advice or anything, but if someone has some words of wisdom or just something to cheer me up, I'm all ears lol

Tomorrow, we have to present our project — including a working model — and I’m honestly terrified. It counts for internal marks, and our professor is strict, cold, and known for picking apart every little thing. I’ve seen how she asks deep, unexpected questions that completely throw people off. That fear has been sitting in my stomach for days now.

The project we’re presenting… I don’t even know how to feel about it anymore. I’ve put in effort, but now my overthinking is making me doubt everything — whether it’s good enough, whether we’ve missed something, whether it’ll stand up to questioning. I can’t tell what’s real and what’s just anxiety messing with my head.

My team? They’ve barely contributed. They don’t really care. I’ve been the one trying to hold it all together, making sure something gets done. And during the presentation, I already know I’ll be the one talking while they just stand there. And if anything goes wrong, the embarrassment will fall on me. Not them.

I don’t even like the degree I’m doing — I took it out of fear, not passion. But I still try. Even when I feel disconnected. Even when I feel like my brain doesn’t work like it used to because of chronic anxiety. I still try, and somehow, that just makes the fear of failure feel worse.

I overthink every little thing. I worry that if I say too much, the prof will start asking deeper questions I won’t be able to answer. But if I say too little, I’ll seem unprepared. It feels like there’s no winning.

I’m exhausted. I just want to get through tomorrow without completely breaking down or embarrassing myself. I needed to vent this somewhere.

Hi!

I recently started talking/dating to someone and they told me they have social anxiety. I read up on it to understand it more and it seems it stems from feeling unsafe and fear of how others will perceive them. Are there other underlining fears? They told me they go to therapy, and also have coping mechanisms they implement. My questions is what can I help to ease their feeling of feeling unsafe? What do you want/need/wish to prevent or ease these feelings?

I'm pretty sure i have social Anxiety. I did a few online tests and they said I have it, even when I tried to play the symptoms down as much as possible. I'm so tired of being anxious about every little social interaction all the time and I'm considering trying to get myself a actual diagnosis and help, but I don't know how to get over the Anxiety to approach my doctor about it. Simply the thought of making an appointment freaks me out. What do I say? What will my doctor say? If I embarrass myself I still have to go back there every time I'm sick

I've struggled with social anxiety ever since I can remember, It has been a really interesting and enlightening journey that has taught me about what it means to function and thrive in society successfully. Let me start by saying, that I have a speech impediment, stutter, stammer, whatever you wanna call it, which I think is safe to say is triggered by early childhood trauma, and a deep drilling in from external sources that whatever I say and think is fundamentally flawed and rotten. Now, you could say that this speech issue is both created by social anxiety, and agrivated by social anxiety, which is really a tricky conundrum to wrestle with.

I have a deep complex about this, about being seen as "incapable", "child-like", someone to pity and have empathy for, rather than someone to take seriously, and see as an equal.

This constant feeling of being patronised whenever I attempt to step out of my comfort zone and actually engage with the external world. I have walked away, and actively continue to avoid many opportunities and important things in my life, going on dates, responding to people romantically that show some form of interest out of fear of that look in their eyes turning from curiousity into pity, away from job opportunities due to busy social environments, meeting family of friends, taking leaps of faith with my musical career (I am a musician), I have days when I just dont give a fuck, and days when the avoidance and fear is crippling, and this ocscillating phenomenon is the thing that I want to get into right here.

When I am the most anxious and afraid of engaging with an upcoming social situation, it is becoming clearer and clearer to me that I am anxious because I am aware that there are many social "rules" that are involved in whether people like you or not, whether people decide that you have manners, that you are polite, funny, attractive, interesting, all of these things.

I've noticed that all it takes for people to dislike or prefer not to have you around is if you don't provide some form of entertainment to the dynamic, and the interesting thing about this speech issue that I have, is that I am literally unable to speak UNLESS what I am saying is emotionally charged, in other words, coming from an authentic place that genuinely has some excitement backing it, otherwise, it is a battle to get the damn words out most of the time.

So, I've begun an experiment, I'm trying to not speak unless it comes from a place where it naturally and spontaniously flows out, and to my surprise, when I follow this method, I stutter 90% less, but at the same time, people feel less comfortable around me, or even dislike me, because I no longer fill the gaps with the same social niceties and lubricant that everyone else seemlessly is able to do.

Now, this has its pro's and con's, the pro's being.. I feel more comfortable, and I am able to engage with social situations with less fear of judgement, and the con's being... people think I am impolite and that I have no manners, or just plain wierd, because I no longer reciprocate all the filler social stuff, there is a lot more silence, and very apparant awkwardness felt by the other person, don't get me wrong, I am able to have great conversations and banter with people, but only when it's natural, and when it comes from an emotional place, and sometimes, I genuinely have nothing to say to a person, but if I try to fabricate something to smooth it out, ask a question I'm not actually curious about, or literally anything, the stutter clamps down on me hard, not to mention that it is incredibely draining.

To conclude, I am coming to the conclusion that when I try to play by the world's rules, I suffer and I fear, but when I just relax into myself and speak only when I want to speak, I am less ashamed of my general existence, even if it kind of costs me with being less socially successful, less fun to be around, basically zero charisma here lol, but when I find someone that kind of gets it.. and is patient, and less alarmed by different kinds of approaches to life, and makes an active effort to understand that there is a whole world of depth and things in common beyond the surface of a first impression, tons of laughs and emotions to share, someone who isn't afraid of a little silence and confusion with someone new, this is the kind of person I will have bonds with, and that's okay I guess, I will wait for those people to cross my paths, and stop trying to stretch my being into something that it clearly is not.

Thanks for listening, hope someone found it interesting.

I'm curious to know, what causes you the most social anxiety?

Hi everyone, I recently came across some studies suggesting that creatine monohydrate might support mental health, including anxiety symptoms. It seems to play a role in brain energy metabolism, and there are indications it could help with mood regulation, cognitive performance, and even emotional resilience.

Since social anxiety can be tied to low energy, brain fog, or stress sensitivity, I’m wondering if anyone here has personally tried creatine and noticed any improvements — whether in energy levels, mental clarity, or reduced anxiety in social situations.

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences, both positive, negative or neutral.