r/Unexpected • u/A_MASSIVE_PERVERT • 1d ago

Toxic Relationship

76.2k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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510

u/No-Poem-9846 1d ago

Idk but is it teabagging if they are neutered and have no sack? What if they are neutered and have an empty - nvm 🤣

371

u/SuumCuique1011 1d ago

Neutered or not, a cat asshole on the face while you're sleeping is never a welcome surprise.

58

u/CoolVictory04 1d ago

Fr, once my cat was about to put her asshole on my mouth, thankfully I woke up just in time before she did it, why they do that omg

55

u/BobknobSA 1d ago

I have had 8 cats during my lifetime. Most of them would sleep in my bed. None have ever put their asshole on my face. What the hell?

39

u/CoolVictory04 1d ago

Why? Do you want it?

23

u/BobknobSA 1d ago

No thanks. I am good. I just didn't know it was common.

19

u/CoolVictory04 1d ago

You might've got one, while you were sleeping, who knows, they might even be freaky with you...

11

u/nrfx 22h ago

You should try the lipstick experiment to see if they're getting you in your sleep.

18

u/LuxNocte 21h ago

I thought you meant wear lipstick to bed, to see if it's covered in cat fur when you wake up. And through the power of delusion and reality denial, I still think that.

5

u/MsSupa 20h ago

Thank you for this, I love you!

2

u/_-_p 17h ago

Holy shit, what year is it?

3

u/nrfx 15h ago

2004

I'm honestly impressed I remembered and found the exact post I had in mind when I started typing it.

2

u/_-_p 8h ago

that takes me back. My favorite Fark memory is Scott Adams making fake accounts to call himself a genius

2

u/RedditEqualsBubble 21h ago

That you know of. Sneaky little bastards.

2

u/Unlucky-Tie8574 13h ago

That's what you think...

1

u/mazarax 20h ago

You probably have toxoplasmosis by now. They didn’t need to infect you again.