First of all I'm not proud in any ways about that. I feel so guilty and so bad you don't imagine.

My friend asked me to come over to her house to feed the cat while they're gone (1 week). She asked me on not last but before this one Tuesday since they were supposed to leave Thursday. Don't know how or why but the info slipped out of my brain, it just vanished from my mind.

My friend got home yesterday. I had left this poor cat 1 week alone. The cat is okay now. She's 16 yo and they discovered she's sick. But even though her state isn't "entirely" my fault, forgetting her didn't made it better. I feel horrible.

I feel extremely guilty about that but I'm glad the cat will be okay...

For the love of god please take your medication daily. ADHD is a medical condition just like diabetes heart disease etc… do we tell diabetics to stop their insulin. No that would kill them! I hate when I see adhd people I only take my meds when I need them. You need them all the time no vacation from it. In order to get the full benefit. I’m a therapist and got a local psychiatrist in trouble because she refused to prescribe my clients adhd meds during the summer stating it was a school year condition. Ummmm no it’s a year long disease. I have been on meds continuously since 1994 only time I have not taken them was the one year I got annoyed with changing my dose constantly due to growing and the few times I had surgery

I purchased 2 silk pillow cases recently as I've read that they are better for your hair and skin. As someone who struggles with self care I will lean into all the tools.

I had wanted to change my sheets. Could not find the second pillow case. Tore apart both storage areas where I keep extra bedding. No dice. Not underneath the bed. Not anywhere on my vanity dresser. I started to doubt that I actually bought a second one.

Today I was deep cleaning my bedroom and I started to organize the erotic book/toy collection basket. Discovered that's where my brain chose to store the second pillowcase. Why? I don't know. Another brain mystery.

First of all, I love this sub and I've talked to some wonderful women here. I've found so much comfort since I joined this sub.

Resently I've noticed some people here making it their business online to tell people that some of their traits or problems ARE not ADHD specific AT ALL. I have to rant about this because I think we can all agree (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about this one tho lol) that being a woman and having ADHD (diagnosed or not) you're constantly all your life met people who doubt you or you're used to feel like a fucking fraud or imposter whatever you do, or you think you come across as dumb and people treat you like that (I hate that and its one of my fears to be misunderstood).
Some people come across like just because they have gone thru the assessment and got the diagnosis, they are the key answer of what ADHD is. We all have our own personalities and background of who we are or have become. The little "crazy" girl I was as a kid, I no longer am.

I am a 38 year old woman who have tons and tons of trauma and stuff that have made me the person I am today, and I fucking loathe when people try to prove a point in who I am without knowing me. Please please be kind. I know people probably think they are educating others and do it out of good will but please think about it before telling other people stuff they didnt ask for

A few weeks ago we found a rat inside the house. We figured it must have snuck inside. We got it out of the house.

A bit after that my dog was crazy sniffing the kitchen and the basement, running back and forth. Didn't see anything.

Then on March 27 she was aggressively pawing at the couch. I could feel something so I pulled on it. It was a DEAD rat. I melted down.

I called the exterminator. His first question was had the the city recently done any sewer work. We recalled a few weeks back having water pressure issues. My partner stepped outside and saw the city working on the sewer. We got no notice about the work. The exterminator said when this work happens it pushes that rats down and they look for a new place. we needed our our sewer drain capped.

So we had the plumber come over the next day. It involved a lot of work as it was more than just replacing the grate they chewed through. It was super expensive and now I won't be out of credit card debt for several more months.

Then today April 5 my partner tells me we have at least one hiding in the house. It ate our butter.

I nearly threw up. All I can think about now is finding rats. Or rats crawling on me. In grad school I lived in a mice ingested home near the water. I had at least one mouse crawl over me in my sleep.

My home no longer feels safe. We're calling back the exterminator as he said to call if the plumbing fix didn't solve the issue as that's how they got into the house was the sewer line.

I need something positive to redirect me. I feel so sick. I'm scared to go into the basement into the laundry room which has so many places where it could hide.

I'd be sobbing right now but all my meds make it very difficult for me to cry.

TW: probably ableism, quite a bit of shouting at children

OK, ladies. I'm not sure you'll be able to help me with this, but you are by far the best ADHD community on the internet so I feel comfortable asking here.

My son and my husband both have severe ADHD and are most likely on the spectrum. My husband (38M, I'm going to call him Mark) grew up in a authoritarian dad / permissive mom household and was untreated until he was in his mid-thirties. He's trying to do better than his parents, and he's doing a really good job. But there are some things he has trouble reacting to calmly.

My son (10.5M, I'll call him Luke) was diagnosed with ADHD at 5 when his kindergarten teacher noticed that he needed to be in a completely quiet room by himself in order to do anything. In his Montessori classroom, he would sit in the middle of the room and stare, either at the work packet they gave him or at the other students. After several years I've come to realize that his version of a meltdown is to "check out." He is only internally motivated, and has a difficult time expressing what the problem is. I'm also pretty sure he's in PDA burnout, but I think that's a different issue.

I also have ADHD and GAD, but I have the role of NT in our house. That usually means reminding everyone not to be an a*hole and trying to set us all up for success.

OK. Now to the problem. Mark likes to keep candy, treats, ice cream, and snacks on hand, and seems to have an internal limit on "acceptable daily consumption." Luke "steals" these things by not only eating "more than his share," but by taking them without asking. Mark then loses his temper, and will shout (usually along the lines of "This is unacceptable! I've told you this is unacceptable and I am livid!") It can be especially bad when Mark has "saved the best for last" on a personal treat and Luke takes it and eats it anyway.

I have tried SO MANY THINGS to set Luke up for success here. We've tried pre-portioning to make sure everyone knows what their share is. We keep Mark-only treats in our bedroom. When Luke showed a pattern of going into our bedroom and taking them anyway, we got a lock for our door (it's an electric fingerprint lock so we don't have to worry about a key because ADHD). I have reminder labels on shelves and on the freezer saying "ask first." I have a snack bin on the outside of the pantry that I do my best to keep full of approved snacks. I may not do these things perfectly, but I am trying SO HARD.

Nothing seems to work. NT people will often say, "Just don't keep those things in your house" but then all of us suffer. I have talked to Luke several times about it. I have tried to have him empathize, even reminding him of when he's been upset about something of his being taken by a friend or sibling. He says all the right things; he apologizes. Then two weeks later it happens all over again.

I read a post a while back from an ADHDer traumatized by always being called a thief in his own home. I hate the thought that Mark is doing that to Luke! But I legitimately don't know what I can do to fix this!

TL;DR: Son seems to lack self control and eats dad's snacks. Dad flips out and treats him like a thief. Son acknowledges "the rules." Cycle repeats. Mom dies a little inside each time.

Have any of you gone through anything similar? Do you have any recommendations?

i was hold up, i think i have been stimming my whole life and i ain’t know. the comments that i have autism, just helped me realize that i was different from others. i didn’t really know what to think of it. it does make sense, cause she would make jokes that i was sometimes more autistic than her, but in actuality, it was my adhd. but i had another friend say i have adhd, and that is when things really clicked for me. i would see adhd stuff and i would be like, i get my work in tho! the stigma against adhd really curbed me. but gosh girl, how many days did you spend not doing it vs doing it 🤨 sometimes i do think i also have autism, but it’s been hard to get a diagnosis for adhd, idk if i really want to get diagnosed with everything, it would just be nice to know. and they think i have ocd too, so im not sure i would want to add trying to get diagnosed for autism to the boat, especially when care for autism as adults is nonexistent. anyways, just silly to find out that i very obviously have adhd and seeing all the things i did from childhood and finally understanding.

Hi everyone! i am posting in this sub as an afab nonbinary person (and am usually clocked as a woman) this may be long! my special interest for years on and off has been psychology among other things. specifically diagnostic criteria, people’s experiences with their disorders, etc. this special interest started when i was 13. i am almost 20. my therapist says it probably stems from trying to find out what is wrong with myself (despite her saying the things i have gone through is normal). i have so much of the criteria for certain disorders memorized, i go through waves of learning everything i can about a certain disorder and trying to figure out if i have it because you can find symptoms of everything in everyone. i have done this with ocd, adhd (i ended up getting tested for it and i have it which probably made me feel like my intuition on this stuff is correct), and now i have been focused on bpd. i am diagnosed with mdd, pmdd, gad, and adhd. i think what set me off for me looking into bpd was my therapist told me if i relapse into self harm (because i am two years clean and always worried i will relapse) and the pattern continues we would have to look into bpd as a diagnosis and treatment plan for it. i spend hours watching videos, reading reddit stories, googling, reading wiki articles about these specific disorders and it brings me more harm than good despite bringing me immense pleasure about learning these topics. i have been told multiple times by my therapist and other people to take time off from googling but i just cannot seem to stop myself until its too late and i upset myself via rabbit holes.

does anyone have any advice or similar experiences they would like to share? i want to fix this

Hello, everyone! I’m sorry if this is the wrong place for this and it’s not allowed - I’d like some perspective from people with ADHD.

So, I (F30) have a friend (F36) who has ADHD. We’ve been friends for 6 years. The trouble is that I noticed she apologizes for completely unimportant things, but for actual hurtful things first I got “I’m sorry about everything but I didn’t do the thing you said I did”, which is nothing true. Later I got more reasonable apology.

It’s been a couple of months since we made up, but in those months she’d only send me dumb reels to keep the communication alive, I guess? The only time she showed interest in my life was a couple of weeks ago, when she asked me how I am, followed by “can I call you, I need help with something”.

This week we were supposed to meet up and she literally told me “don’t be angry if I forget”. She did.

I really don’t want to be friends with her anymore. I feel like she doesn’t care and wants to keep the connection alive just so she could ask for favors when she needs to. Is this ADHD thing? I’d feel like an ahole if it is, but it’s just too much for me. I really feel disrespected.

I’d like to understand this a bit more before I make any decisions regarding this friendship.

What have you been hyper fixating on recently?

I feel like I am good at receiving criticism/ feedback from others and changing my mind about things. Not really that I can be easily convinced or fooled- just that I am very influenced by rational arguments. This is something my partner seems to have noticed about me as well. I think it might have to do the with rational overdrive skill which I think comes from being neurodivergent. It’s like “oh this person said that I was doing this thing they didn’t like, I care about this person so I’m going to change this thing that I did that made them feel uncomfortable”.

In an intellectual sense, I am not very stubborn at all. I feel pretty grounded in my morals but I am definitely someone who believes in the idea that you should stick to your beliefs untill experience or rationality proves otherwise. This is mindset has really radicalized me the past couple years as I’ve learned more about feminism, racism, and fat phobia.

I was thinking of using these sites but I'll die a thousand deaths if I book a body doubling session and there's only one other person there and I have to - yanno - interact with them 😳

So I'm wondering if they are busy and I can join a session with several people all just tapping away on their keyboards or cleaning their kitchens or whatever

My husband (28M) is continuously telling me (28F) that "he feels like we haven't talked in a long time" and/or that "I ignore him" all the time. I feel like we talk often, but clearly the kind of talking we do is not what he wants and I'm afraid I'm not enough and I don't know what to do to become enough. We argue about my actions often and I just constantly feel like a failure of a wife.

An example that JUST happened:

For background context, my husband and I have just moved cities and started new jobs and both of us had ordered some company merchandise that we have been waiting on to arrive. I had ordered some clothes and he had ordered a nice backpack. Today I got my package and I was opening it while sitting on our bed. I had just showed him a new jacket and scrub cap that I had gotten (I'm in the veterinary medical field) when he said "I wonder when my backpack will get here." and picked up his phone to check. I didn't say anything/acknowledge that statement because I was about to open the next article in my package and I was also being kinda silly and I was putting the scrub cap on my dog's head. He then says something to the effect of "That's ok I guess, I didn't really want to talk to you about the backpack anyways." I don't know if it was exactly that, but it was something similar in a sarcastic tone. I then said "I didn't really know that was directed at me, was I supposed to respond to that?" or something of a similar sentiment. Apparently, what I should have done in that moment was apologized immediately for ignoring him, but because I didn't and instead tried to explain my POV and did it with a somewhat difensive tone, this caused an argument that lasted an hour. I say apparently because he told me then, and has told me over and over again in the past, that I never apologize or take responsibility for my actions.

This is NOT the first time this has happened, in fact it happens pretty much daily if not multiple times a day. I have tried to get better at apologizing for ignoring him, but now I have started to get met with the "You don't really mean that." rebuttal to my apologies. I am tired, frustrated, and most of all confused. He knows I'm diagnosed ADHD (diagnosed in 2022 or 2023, my memory is bad) and he himself was diagnosed in 2024, so should he not understand my perspective? I never mean to ignore him, and in that moment my response was 100% truthful - I didn't even catch that statement about the backpack was something I was supposed to respond to, I just thought he was thinking out loud. I heard him and didn't say anything, which is technically ignoring him, but it wasn't because I don't care or wasn't interested in talking with him, I just didn't even know what I was supposed to say to that. Not to mention, I was focused on opening my package.

I just don't understand how to navigate this problem. I thought that getting a diagnosis would help him understand me because then he would maybe understand that there is a neurological reason I sometimes don't hear him/ignore him, but clearly not. Despite this issue, our relationship is otherwise perfect, but I'm afraid this issue is large enough that I will eventually drive him away. This is not the first time we've had this argument, this has been going on for almost 10 years, and every time I just feel like his patience wears thinner and thinner. I love him and I don't want to lose him. I feel like such a failure.

Just quit my third job in four years and I am looking for inspiration for my next challenge!

I'm graduating in June and I'm so scared. I struggle with really bad procrastination and I feel like my brain has lowkey shut down. Ive always been someone slow and careless ever since I was a child but I'm even worse now. On top of that I've got horrible social anxiety and hate interacting with others. I'm also scared because the job market is hella competitive and neurotypical people are always ideal for employers because they're so extroverted unlike me. I'm just scared to the point I just want to die. I don't wanna do this bs.

I remember every time my family would go to restaurants. I used to be annoying asf, while my family were eating and having a normal conversations. I would move around a lot, be loud, Talk a lot which I normally don't now, cracked jokes, said some random shit, and laughed a lot. And somehow it didn't really faze them at all.

Paid a hefty ADHD levy yesterday. Was organising my laundry - had to wash my one and only sports bra that I needed for that afternoon’s personal training session (H cup so the girls need scaffolding).

10 year old AuADHD son spilt some milk, walked from laundry into lounge to help him regulate and somewhere, in the 10 metres from the washing machine to the couch my sports bra has disappeared.

Had to go to my PT session in a G cup where my boobs were fighting for space like a couple of squirrels in a sock.

Universe, I’m tired, I’m doing the best I can, can I please have my bra back?

This isn't an ad. I tried to use the app before, I liked it but wasn't committed to it. This time around I'm really going to try to get my habits in order, but I also think it would help to add friends for accountability.

I am preparing for a super important exam (a lot in my future depends on this) and working full time. Need to give my test in a week or two (I can book the date). I have a weird Long distance thing going on with a guy for the last 5 months. This is not a call for advice on that but I just need to get myself completely detached for the next 2 weeks.

I can already tell I am depending on him for my mood and his responses and availability. Please hit me in the head with a rock but with your advice, suggestions, etc

Thanks in advance, any advice, anecdotes, etc appreciated!!! Lyguys

When I (21F) was just about to start 5th grade I got lice, we took care of it fast. Then in 6th grade I got lice again but this time my mom didn’t want to tell my dad about it. Luckily I was in online school so i didn’t spread it in school. But I had lice until just before I started 9th grade. During that time I was, obviously, itching my scalp a lot. I also was picking lice and lice eggs out and killing them.

Ever since then my scalp has always felt itchy and I pick at it. I go through fazes luckily. But during the faze I can barely sleep because I’m constantly picking and it causes bleeding. It also makes my hair gross and overall it’s embarrassing, I’m always worried when I do it in public.

(I also will preface that I do pick and eat the parts of my scalp that come off. I know it’s gross but idk why I do it)

Is there anything I can do? Can I stop it because it was caused by the lice and not a mental health thing or is it now a mental health thing? I do have depression, anxiety, ADHD, mild OCD, possible autism but I haven’t been tested yet.

I also want to say I do the same to my boyfriend’s scalp but not as severe. I lightly comb through his hair and pick the bits of scalp I feel. I also look for the dander cause his hair is super dry. I figured this info would be relevant to my question.

I listen to a lot of shoegaze and grunge style rock these days. I'm 26 and I was born in 98. My parents always listened to 90s rock when growing up, like Pearl Jam and Cranberries type stuff. My dad was also a music artist and made lots of songs in that style himself. This is the type of music that makes me feel safest and most grounded. I always feel like some healing nostalgia when listening to music that reminds me of what was played by my parents when I was growing up. Do you relate?

I got an official ADHD diagnosis from a psychiatrist after a 1.5 hour virtual assessment yesterday. The psychiatrist was able to prescribe me medication immediately and even was able to look up my prescription insurance through my preferred pharmacy (I didn’t give them any insurance information prior to this).

He prescribed me mirtazapine and Vyvanse. I am currently on the antidepressant Pristiq, and will be switching to mirtazapine. I’ve always had medication anxiety, and while I’ve gotten better about learning to trust prescription meds, I still struggle.

I’m suddenly very nervous about starting these 2 new medications. I can’t help but feel like this is all happening too fast - even though a few days ago, this is exactly what I wanted. I was literally praying that I would get the ADHD diagnosis that I was hoping for, and would be able to try ADHD medication soon. And now I’m sitting here doubting everything.

Did anyone feel like this when they were first diagnosed? Were you able to overcome those anxious feelings and trust the process?

This is my first post ever so any advice will be so appreciated. I(F 27) really struggle to consistently clean the house I share with my partner(M 29) and do domestic tasks. I will watch the basket fill up & just not be “interested” in doing the laundry. I do wash the dishes every now again but I struggle to pick up after myself, I’ll leave my clothes around the house & not close cupboard doors etc. I just can’t bring myself to clean or organise things even when I can see they’re not in the right place.

I can maintain being super clean for a few days when I randomly get the motivation but it doesn’t last.

Help me I’m so tired of being a slob.

I have a treadmill.

I love running.

I know running for an hour will help me work faster afterwards.

I’m too ashamed of myself for having fallen behind on my task at hand to give myself permission to do this.

I’m also too scared to give myself this hour of re-energizing in case the task ends up taking longer than anticipated.

What do I do????

Psychiatrist upped my Adderall XR to 20mg. In my state, only generics are allowed even if I wanted to pay for name brand. He tried to add "no substitutions", but the pharmacy said no. The AMG generic was ok. I have had name brand Adderall as a kid in another state and it feels like an entirely different medication. Had granules once before with milder side effects. After taking this batch for only 2 days, I have been having severe debilitating crying spells, headaches, new and worsening depression symptoms, NO focus, brain fog, ect ect. I'm not taking it again tomorrow, even if it means cold turkeying. Told my psych, haven't heard back yet. I looked it up and it seems other people have had this same issue. The pharmacy would require the psych to send a whole new prescription in, even if I surrender the remaining medication. Thankfully, I see the doc in 10 days but it's going to be a rough sudden withdrawal. Just venting because I feel so lost in this new adhd journey. It's only been 6 months and nothing has truly worked. I typically cry for maybe an hour if I'm depressed but this was insanely debilitating and had me mentally prepared to quit my job and drop out of college. What do they put in these generics??????