im bad at editing photos but i thought immediately thought about this when i saw someone else post the original

Honestly, maybe Barbie has ADHD.

But, I had a lot of trouble deciding what to do with my life as a teenager. SO MANY JOBS SEEM FASCINATING.

Some jobs I remember researching were Bee-keeper. Optometrist. Model. Dermatologist (pimple-poppinngg). Voice actor. Veterinarian. And even today I come across occupations that leave me in awe. This year I've been interested in the world of Crime Scene Forensics and Detective work.

I'm currently 28F, and ended up teaching ice skating/figure skating for the last 8 years. I love it. Lets me put my energy into children.

I got diagnosed with AuDHD last year, immediately got put on medicine, and I think I first just felt relieved after having taken unnecessary antidepressants for almost twenty years and never feeling like it was what I struggled with. Since getting medicated I have started to a unmask so much that I sometimes think I’m getting worse? My sensory and sound is killing me. I’ve lost my appetite (no one should want that).

More than anything I feel increasing sadness that I can’t get fixed. I’m 44 and I feel like I have struggled to repress my inner weirdo my whole life. I’ve had tons of careers and haven’t been able to keep up with any of them, when people climbed up the career ladder I tried to keep my head over water. I’m at uni now but have NO confidence despite doing well. Where was my help, my fucking fidget spinners? As a child I had horrible anger attacks, hated all food and couldn’t stand being hugged. I struggled with reading faces and look everything seriously. No one suspected a thing, and it makes me furious.

As the title states I have started to sell of things. Not just for money but they don’t suit my life anymore. All the money I have spent on dopamine shopping, sugar, coffee. I could cry. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore, clothes is just one thing, but from at least a former fashion lover, it’s important. I used to love all the prints, colours, all the things. Now all man made fabrics basically rub me the wrong way (huh see what I did there?)

I live in denim and crisp cotton shirts, it’s basically everything I can stand. Sport bras make me panic, jewellery feels restrictive. Has this always been me or is something wrong? Everything feels wrong. When I dress up I feel like I’m wearing drag. And I’m mourning my twenties and thirties when I should have allowed myself to be the introverted nerd that I am, instead of drinking, trying to have fun and getting burnt out because it wasn’t for me. I also mourn the the spending money I’ll never get back, the pathetic pension savings that are mine, and still feeling like I don’t belong - but maybe I could have.

I have the best husband and dog, a lovely house, and over all a great life. I just feel like I’m past my prime, and I never got to bloom.

EDIT - You are all amazing, I have a long train journey tomorrow, so I’ll sit and read all the replies properly 😊🥹

Also I never knew I wanted to be MOSS so much!

I’m not happy that so many of you are struggling - but hearing that it’s many of us that are here together is a nice feeling. I know that the ”do you consider ADHD a disability” posts have been up lately, and this is basically my take on it - does society fit around you? Does it feel seamless? Or do you have to adapt, mask, change, exhaust yourself in order for it to work with you? In that case I consider it a disability.

I turned 47 in February and today I got my official ADHD diagnosis - it means a complete overhaul of my medications, but what a relief to know I’m moving in the right direction!

I listen to a lot of shoegaze and grunge style rock these days. I'm 26 and I was born in 98. My parents always listened to 90s rock when growing up, like Pearl Jam and Cranberries type stuff. My dad was also a music artist and made lots of songs in that style himself. This is the type of music that makes me feel safest and most grounded. I always feel like some healing nostalgia when listening to music that reminds me of what was played by my parents when I was growing up. Do you relate?

Posting on here because maybe it’s related to hormones, but I literally have no food hyperfixation atm and can’t eat. I love food so it’s not like that and this regularly happens every so often when food seems repulsing. I haven’t started any new meds or anything just my brain not working lol. Anyone got tips for how to get out of this? Tyia 💕

I (27F) am sure I’ve got some sort of hormone issue (altho bloods came back fine but still waiting on testosterone levels and some other stuff) or my AuDHD self is just super sensitive to my cycle changes. So, I’m trying to track my cycle and associated mood changes.

For example, I’m currently on day 11 and I took an ovulation test showing positive for LH surge. And, I mean … I have no idea wtf that means yet but I do know that yesterday I felt good (well, I felt okay) and since waking up this morning it feels like I’m in complete dopamine withdrawal. Like, I am trying to focus and my vision goes blurry and I realise I’ve totally zoned out. I cannot sit still, but equally feel like a zombie. My attention span is limited to scrolling and eating, and that’s about it.

So, yeah: does anyone track their hormones and moods, in the context of having ADHD?

Diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago and have been struggling with depression and anxiety since nearly a decade.

I got married two months ago and things finally started to get better. I didn't have any major depressive episode and my GAD too was getting better until last week. I'm back to neglecting things as basic as hygiene. I do hypersfocys on cleaning and cooking occasionally, but any free time i have---i break down. I found a stray kitten I was trying to help, but he went missing and i can't stop thinking about him. There's a lot going on in my country. A whole forest getting cleared for "development" and a lot of wildlife is suffering.

I struggle when I learn about pain and suffering. I feel guilty of having too many clothes. Each time I throw waste, i feel responsible for climate change and animals suffering. (We reduce, reuse as much as we can but we're not zero wasters)

I'm crying in my bathroom as I'm typing this as my therapist isn't available for some time and I don't know how to function.

How do you cope when living feels like a chore?

My husband (28M) is continuously telling me (28F) that "he feels like we haven't talked in a long time" and/or that "I ignore him" all the time. I feel like we talk often, but clearly the kind of talking we do is not what he wants and I'm afraid I'm not enough and I don't know what to do to become enough. We argue about my actions often and I just constantly feel like a failure of a wife.

An example that JUST happened:

For background context, my husband and I have just moved cities and started new jobs and both of us had ordered some company merchandise that we have been waiting on to arrive. I had ordered some clothes and he had ordered a nice backpack. Today I got my package and I was opening it while sitting on our bed. I had just showed him a new jacket and scrub cap that I had gotten (I'm in the veterinary medical field) when he said "I wonder when my backpack will get here." and picked up his phone to check. I didn't say anything/acknowledge that statement because I was about to open the next article in my package and I was also being kinda silly and I was putting the scrub cap on my dog's head. He then says something to the effect of "That's ok I guess, I didn't really want to talk to you about the backpack anyways." I don't know if it was exactly that, but it was something similar in a sarcastic tone. I then said "I didn't really know that was directed at me, was I supposed to respond to that?" or something of a similar sentiment. Apparently, what I should have done in that moment was apologized immediately for ignoring him, but because I didn't and instead tried to explain my POV and did it with a somewhat difensive tone, this caused an argument that lasted an hour. I say apparently because he told me then, and has told me over and over again in the past, that I never apologize or take responsibility for my actions.

This is NOT the first time this has happened, in fact it happens pretty much daily if not multiple times a day. I have tried to get better at apologizing for ignoring him, but now I have started to get met with the "You don't really mean that." rebuttal to my apologies. I am tired, frustrated, and most of all confused. He knows I'm diagnosed ADHD (diagnosed in 2022 or 2023, my memory is bad) and he himself was diagnosed in 2024, so should he not understand my perspective? I never mean to ignore him, and in that moment my response was 100% truthful - I didn't even catch that statement about the backpack was something I was supposed to respond to, I just thought he was thinking out loud. I heard him and didn't say anything, which is technically ignoring him, but it wasn't because I don't care or wasn't interested in talking with him, I just didn't even know what I was supposed to say to that. Not to mention, I was focused on opening my package.

I just don't understand how to navigate this problem. I thought that getting a diagnosis would help him understand me because then he would maybe understand that there is a neurological reason I sometimes don't hear him/ignore him, but clearly not. Despite this issue, our relationship is otherwise perfect, but I'm afraid this issue is large enough that I will eventually drive him away. This is not the first time we've had this argument, this has been going on for almost 10 years, and every time I just feel like his patience wears thinner and thinner. I love him and I don't want to lose him. I feel like such a failure.

I’ve tried a lot of tools over the years to manage overwhelm and emotional dysregulation — from breathwork and mindfulness to nervous system resets. Some really helped, some didn't. Lately, I’ve been focusing on simple, body-based practices that feel more ADHD-friendly — and they’ve helped a lot. But I’m still curious:

What’s actually worked for you in a real, lasting way? What didn't work and why? And what tends to get in the way of using the things you know are helpful?

Would love to hear your experience — I think we can learn something from each other here.

Hello,

I have recently been diagnosed with combined ADHD and am yet to start medication (need to get a blood test first).

Whilst I haven’t announced it from the roof tops the diagnosis has come up in conversation with a friends and also a few family members.

I have had more than half of them sort look at me like why are you bothering with all this ? Some have asked “why get a diagnosis ? What difference will it make knowing ?” And it was with an undertone of judgement or not believing me I really don’t know. Then after that I am asked “you aren’t going to take that medication for it ? Or you don’t need medication” and I am open to medication but not feeling safe to discuss it after these comments.

Have other people found this kind of push back awkwardness ?

(Would have posted anonymously but couldn’t find that option 🙈)

Alright ladies, I am in desperate need of advice on how to handle this crappy situation. I am at a loss on how to do this in a direct but compassionate way because subtlety is not working :/

I became friends with a coworker (like having dinner once a week and almost always eating lunch together at work, hanging out on the weekends, buying each other christmas gifts) and I thought that things were all good. To preface this, I knew that there was some tension between her and our team lead. This tension stems from our lead getting the position over my friend- which my friend says hurt her because she didn't know the other person was applying and they had been friends. Now the other person tries to avoid her and limit interactions which seemed a little mean to me. My friend would make comments to me or vent and it became clear that she is still bitter over not getting the position, but that feels somewhat normal? (it has been a year or more since the choice was made, for context.) She seemed to be on okay terms with our other coworkers, aside from the fact that they are friendlier with our lead.

In January/February, my friend was talked to twice by our supervisor who had 'heard through the grapevine' that she had a problem with our lead and had been speaking poorly of her. My friend denied this, and said that our lead was the one who had been icing her out. She vented to me about both meetings.

In March I learn that there were specific comments that led to her being talked to by our supervisor. She had been training with someone in a different department (someone she was also friends with) and had begun speaking very poorly of everyone in her department- including me. Saying we are all too immature, we don't do our work, we have too much free time, we're always on our phones, overall we just aren't suited for our jobs. The person training her was so upset by this that she ended up telling our supervisor and requesting to never train my friend again.

Needless to say, I am pretty hurt. I had considered this person a trusted friend. I've babysat for her, we've spent so much time together, I tried my best to be there for her when she was struggling. I don't understand why she included me in these statements, let alone why she included all of our coworkers. None of what she said is true- we are busy *all day* at least 4 days a week, not counting when we go to help out other departments. Yes we are all 10+ years younger than her, but does that make us immature? We're all working at the same place, doing the same job...

She has been acting like nothing has happened and I have been slowly distancing myself. Choosing to eat with other people outside of the lunchroom (we are afraid that things said in casual conversation will be twisted and used against us by her), saying I haven't been in the mood to socialize much, limiting our interactions as much as possible. This has resulted in her pressing harder and harder for me to hang out (seriously though, what part of someone saying 'hey i've been feeling burnt out socially' means you try guilting them into hanging out with you multiple days in a row???) and glomming onto me at work. If she sees I'm somewhere talking to other people, she comes and inserts herself in the conversation, which promptly dies.

I have spoken to our supervisor about this, essentially just informing them of the tension in our department and imploring them to try and do *something* to help alleviate it. But I am at a loss on how to handle this on a personal level. I don't want to be mean or cause more problems with her, but I can't handle her clinging to me like this as if nothing happened. My current maaybbbeee plan is to find a time to speak to her face to face, but how do I frame this?? What do I do??? Please help me :'(

So, I got diagnosed a few hours ago. I’ve just been sitting, carrying on as normal. Not sure how to feel and as the hours pass by, I’m beginning to worry it was all a fluke and that the doctor is going to undiagnose me.

I’ve suspected I have ADHD for at least a decade now but was always too scared to do anything about it. I’m south Asian and the whole attitude around mental health is bloody patronising. I did consider going to a psychiatrist once I started working but always chickened out because it’s hard enough for women to get diagnosed in western countries; imagine getting diagnosed in the subcontinent?! LOL!

Anyway, gathered up all my courage and did it: the screenings, the questionnaires blah blah blah and got the diagnosis. But I’m just not convinced. In the days leading up to the appointment, I kept having angry episodes, just being filled with rage because of all the bullshit the adults put me through because I didn’t obey them to a T. And now, it’s all gone. When the doctor confirmed it, I went blank. They said it’s okay to cry and I just smiled. Feel like that was the wrong thing to do too. I should’ve had some sort of an emotional reaction right?

Does anyone else not get short term hyperfixations that other ADHDers seem to get? I keep listening to podcasts where the hosts describe becoming obsessed with something for a few weeks at a time, ignoring everything else around them, and then burning out? I don’t experience this and maybe feel a little imposter syndrome about it.

My “short term” hyperfixations are quite a bit longer. For example, during the pandemic, I became quite interested in viruses. I studied everything I can about viruses, including the different types, hosts, virus reproduction, evolution, vaccines, and vaccine manufacturing. In total, the interest lasted about 9 months or so. But I learned everything I could with the knowledge I have.

long time lurker first time poster, but i HAD to show you guys this- for context, i went to college for theatre but haven’t been auditioning since i graduated. finally trying to get back in the game and went to film some self tapes today, only to discover i lost the iphone mount that’s supposed to sit in my ring light, hence this janky macgyver’d box situation (i attached my phone to the lotion with a hair tie lmaooooo) 🤦🏻‍♀️ would have saved myself an hour and a huge mess if i hadn’t lost a piece of plastic that probably cost 50 cents to make! see also my shade just leaning against my window bc i’ve been meaning to put curtains up for legit an entire year now

I am like this. I am trying to find something that will let me use my two monitors with my desktop and laptop. Ive bought 3 things that havent worked for one reason or another. I am very fortunate I can keep trying different things and this whole this doesnt work cycle usually doesnt happen.

The only other example was last year, I spent 100 total trying to find an excersise watch that actually counted my friggin steps properly and I never did... But as for returning it just is an extra thig I'd really have to go out of my way to attempt to do, including trying to find some way to repackage whatever. It's sooo annoying. I dunno just wondering if people can relate.

I would just like to vent a bit/get some perspectives here. I can't tell if I am being unreasonable.

My partner and I both struggle with perceptions of time. In order to function throughout my life, I have coped with this with hyper awareness, being chronically early, and spending a lot of time in "waiting mode". I have very bare bones routines designed to minimize chances for distractions. I am not saying this good or healthy (the amount of time I spend in waiting mode/being early is my most disabling ADHD symptom), I am saying that with great effort and anxiety (and straight up being able to do a fewer number of things than I'd like), I can manage time.

Meanwhile, my male partner has always had a woman in his life to manage it for him, his mother when he was a kid, other girlfriends throughout his 20s and early 30s, etc. He was not even aware that this background management was happening for him until I asked a bunch of questions about his past relationships and his parents trying to figure out why he seemed sooo unaware of it (very different from my female friends who struggle in the same ways).

When we have plans, I get put in the position where I have to either manage his time for him by reminding him how long tasks take, which is very exhausting for me and also makes me feel like a giant nag, or he shows up (sometimes very) late and I feel terrible and anxious while stuck in waiting mode and losing large chunks of time to it. He also often does not communicate-for example he'll decide to make several stops on the way over meanwhile I'm not starting any tasks so I don't get sucked into anything that I can't finish, and then be shocked that I feel irritated. I am not a stickler about punctuality at all, but the cumulative amount of my time wasted on this does add up and start to make me feel shitty and turn seeing him into a source of stress.

It happens on the other ends of things too-like he winds up staying over later than we agreed upon no matter how many conversations we have about me needing to adhere to a rigid bedtime routine for my insomnia. I feel like I have to be a timekeeper and basically kick him out and it makes our time together a bit stressful and then makes me feel like a giant asshole. Like why do I have an alarm on my phone instead of him? Why am I put in the position of saying no to starting a 2 hour long movie 45 minutes before we agreed the time would end?

He clearly feels terrible every time this happens, which makes me feel like a jerk trying to talk to him about it, but it doesn't seem to matter? I think that he understands I find this tiring and upsetting but does not understand why it is-other women have just quietly dealt with the problem for him after all. So he apologizes, but the apology feels empty. I very much don't expect any sort of magic fix, I would just like him to try anything, even if it doesn't wind up working. I'm not sure if I am being unreasonable here but I am growing resentful and tired and I feel like I can't win.

I was diagnosed a few weeks ago. Having given up on Concerta after 4 days (zero sleep), I’m now on Medikinet 5mg twice a day (a baby dose!) and will double up next week. 2 days in and so far, so good. Starting to believe that something might actually work for me. I am about to go on holiday with my mum and am dreading it already. I was always the naughty one … and suspect a telling off just for being on meds for it. I appreciate I sound about 12… I’m 52 🤣 Her attitude is, just get on with it. I was a nightmare when I was younger and she reminds me constantly how hard I made it for HER. Now I’m successful - great career, family, but she has no idea what it takes and what it costs me - basically how hard it all is. My husband says just don’t mention it. He is coming too. Anyone else with parents who just don’t get it and would rather just blame you for not being their perfect child?!

I’m just mad as hell. Honestly, that’s the only way I can describe it. My therapist picked up on my ADHD symptoms quickly. Apparently, it’s obvious. But I spent decades struggling academically, at doctor’s offices, just feeling like crap, and no one noticed. No one cared. Maybe because I’m a girl, because I wasn’t “disruptive”. I don’t know.

But I’m mourning what could’ve been, emotionally, academically, career-wise, if someone had actually helped me. Now I feel like I’m just… missed potential.

And I’m angry at myself too. It feels like my brain betrayed me. I recognize I’m dealing with some internalized ableism, but sometimes I just wish I was different. I want to do/be what society expects of me, but it’s just so hard sometimes. And between this and physical issues (I have endometriosis and an eye disease), I just feel broken?

Do you guys kind of crash after hyper focusing on something? I’ve been so productive this week because of hyper focusing on a project, but now the feeling is starting to ween and the project is almost over. High key don’t know what to do. I know the crash is coming. I’ve been diagnosed for years and still don’t know how to make going back to “normal” easier. Advise welcome.

I Just don't know how to take a break. I'm constantly doing one thing or the other. My screen time starts with waking up and ends when I go to sleep. I'm a student and I have no idea how to take a break in between study sessions. Then there's this fear that if I take a break I won't be able to focus again. Even when I try to take a break I just watch something on my laptop which is MORE SCREENS

I AM SO TIRED. I need to look away from screens but I just can't

Does anyone else notice that their meds don’t help during PMS or during pain flares? (I also suffer with chronic pain)

I am in analysis paralysis about pots and pans. Has anyone done the research and in a position to make a recommendation?

The reality is I’d like to just buy one big set but WHICH ONE?? I don’t have the discipline to use stainless steel and idk what ceramic even is. I know teflon is okay for a while and I fully plan to treat these as consumable but I hate cooking and cannot learn a new cooking method with unfamiliar materials. Under $400 preferably. Please help me!