I didn't even have to command him to do this. I came back from work and saw he wrote alll this while I was away! What a good girl! <3

Was just going about my day and then I get this message, kept her anonymous cuz I know what people can be like, but omg how generous and supportive🥹💕 I hope some dommes can learn from her.

Hey girls! Just wanted to share my good news with you guys 🤗

I’ve been seeing a lot of girls make some defeating posts about them not getting enough sends or finding subs; but they’re out there! So, here’s a little advice:

1. AV - You would think this is something I wouldn’t have to tell you but the fact is, some of you don’t have it. “Willing to verify after tribute” is not the same thing. This is one of the reasons you’re not getting as many subs as you’d like.

2. One size doesn’t fit all - what does this mean? Although you may have encountered some subs who love being treated as a human🏧, love being humiliated and degraded, ignored, and treated like absolute trash; that doesn’t mean every other sub you’ll encounter likes that! Some prefer a much soft, gentle, even maternal approach. Learn to adjust to your subs needs and wants. Unless, your page is meant to attract a specific type of audience. Then specify that. Example: Sadistic & Cruel domme

That way those seeking something more on the gentle side turn the other way before approaching you. And therefore, don’t waste your time.

1. Nurture your subs - this is an unpopular opinion. Serving you is a privilege not just a transaction. This doesn’t mean date them. It simply means invest in them as much as they invest in you.

Example: Most of my subs prefer the gentle and soft approach. I give them nicknames. “My sweet boy” “my weak, dumb, little boy” “my little worm” See what I’m doing? They’re earning it. They start feeling a sense of belonging.

I take my time to listen. To make them feel taken care of. Why? Because that’s how you build a long term dynamic. And you know what that does? You learn their triggers. You build a good connection and if you don’t want subs leaving - that’s key. They’re SUBS at the end of the day. And anyone who’s submissive likes when their dominant cherishes that submission. They take care of me, because I take care of them. The more they send, the more of my affection they get.

4.READ‼️- a lot of you don’t read bios. Not only does it paint a bad picture of yourself, but you’re also missing out on important information. Skim through their pages, likes, comments - you may learn something about their triggers and what they like. OR you’ll learn what they don’t like. Example:

If a sub posts something vulnerable and you decide not to read it but reach out because the title caught your eye and you’re thinking “oh he’s weak rn, perfect timing” chances are you’re getting blocked. Read the room! There are exceptions where the sub is welcoming dommes to reach out but others - they’re clear about not liking it when they’re approached. It isn’t always hunting season. Sometimes, they genuinely just wish to share/be heard.

Another example: they’re owned. You would’ve known that but you ignored that and now you’re getting cancelled not only by subs but by dommes as well.

Another one: You try your usual bratty approach but if you had taken the time to read you would have realized that sub prefers a much more gentle approach.

1. Engage - This doesn’t mean talk to them all the time. But do talk to them. Banter. Don’t be boring. Have some substance. What does this do? It keeps them chasing. Keeps them wanting more or you. It keeps them sending. Even if you’re a brat! Talk about yourself! You guys have a personality, use it.

2. Be aware of what you post on here - we all need advice and tips every now and then. But certain posts draw subs away. I know it gets discouraging when you get no subs or sends but subs want to feel like they add value to your life. Like they’re contributing. So when you post stuff like you haven’t gotten any sends or that you can’t find any subs, posts that are cries for help, that pushes them away. They don’t want to feel like you need their money. They want to feel like you deserve it more than them. That you’re taking it from them. Make them send because they want to send. Get what I mean? Don’t let them know you need their money.

3. How you use your words matters - Be seductive. Be you. Incorporate some word play. Example: instead of “go send for my lunch” you could say something like “Lunch on you would be so much better! Be a good boy and pay for it for me.” Or “Oh, you haven’t bought my lunch yet? Fix it.”

4. There is a difference between making money fast when you drain a sub vs using this to make money fast - this is kink. And like all kinks, it takes time. Think of it this way: you don’t go into sex, lay down, and expect to simply have an orgasm. No, you put in the work. You get freaky with it. You have fun! You take your time. Same with this. It’s why you’re desperate and frustrated now. You keep thinking all it takes is a couple posts of your feet or throwing up the middle finger with some degrading caption - that’s not how it works! Build your social media. Attract an audience. Put thought and work into what you post. Post daily. Rome wasn’t built overnight.

5. Separate your personal life from this - there is no reason why your kids should be brought into this. Nor the presence of them. Don’t post pictures with your kids stuff in the background. I don’t want to see you showing your feet with kids toys in the background and neither do these subs. Plus, you don’t want to attract creeps..

6. Don’t get discouraged if you lose a sub - it happens! Don’t take it personal. You have to understand that a lot of them deal with shame within this community. So, provide a safe space for them to enjoy it. A space for them to come back to when they make another account after deleting their last one. You know that saying? The one about how impressions matter and how the mark you leave behind matters? Yeah, that applies here.

Anyways, those are some tips. I hope it can help some of you girlies. Stay consistent. Be patient. And you’ll see that with some time, the money will flow 💸💗

I'm pretty excited over my recent purchase of a cardio bike for home so I don't have to go to gym six days a week for my workouts AND cardio and best part it's sub funded. I've been wanting one for awhile, hell ever since I started my weight-loss journey and now I've "leveled up" in that aspect. I won't lie I'm really excited to incorporate cardio while doing my sessions with my subs along while I game or study 🤭 So my question to my fellow queens, what do you buy with your subs sends? Besides this recent purchase for me it's concentrate, toys, outfits and building my credit up.

I noticed that a lot of subs end up blocking the dom after a draining session, why is that ? and how does someone go about building a long term relationship

I’ve realized my last sugar relationship ended up being more like a findom dynamic. Since then I’ve been feeling unfulfilled with sugaring and was directed here. We were involved for 8 months and my sub disappeared with no further explanation. I believe he wasn’t actually “married but separated”.

I want to make my subs life better and feel more purposeful instead of draining them to the point of it seeming abusive which I have seen alot of so far. The connection part is still important to me.

Is this realistic and obtainable? Any advice on how to go about this? Anyone else switch from sugaring and any advice on that?

***This is my main account I made a new account but can’t access this sub from there. Any help with that also?

If this post gets to stay up then I don't see why mine can't.

Let's not discriminate.

A new sub that has been talking and playing almost every day, told me they wouldn’t be available to play this weekend. Already 😍👏 to communicating that they were busy and not ghosting. I told him I appreciated him letting me know and didn’t expect to hear from him until Monday. I woke up this morning to a CashApp notification and a message saying “Woke up thinking of you” 🥹🥹

Posted a little rant on X, but decided to post on here to maybe see if I would get more feedback as X seems more as a promo platform, but I’m not sure if anyone else feels the same. I like the teasing and in a way playing with someone’s feeling of course with their acknowledgment of the relationship. I just have my personal boundaries as so does everyone theirs things they like about it and theirs thing I like about. I like the aspect of being dominant without it having to be sexual and yes this a kink, but I don’t want to be seeing your wiener and I’m not showing you my stuff. It’s more of like the talking and being sassy, flirty, mean, kinda like when you’re first talking to someone. I don’t know if anyone else relates this I just my personal opinion, it’s not meant to offend anyone. Good night 🥰 also I was big on reading books with sub/dom relationship so that’s kinda where I got intrigued to learn about findom.

Today I’m manifesting:

A spontaneous bank transfer

A sub who knows his place without being reminded

A shopping spree that you can’t afford but I don’t even blink at

And maybe… just maybe… the tiniest shred of self-awareness from a paypig (not holding my breath though)

What are your manifestation today queen?

I truly just started and I’m upset because my mental health began to slip RIGHT after i started doing findom so I had to take a mental break. I was off my meds temporarily as well which fucking SUCKED to deal with. regardless, i missed being here and want to ask if anyone has any tips for motivation to come back in swinging?

Curious on whether there are fellow late nighters on rn. Also what time of the day (for ur time zone) are yall most active on here? Dommes and subs welcome to answer.

Trees and Sims4 while I do an ignore session w one of my good boys :)

Every domme deserves one whale sub per week at least

i lowkey want this but like as a joke but not really but like “keke haha omg look” but like no-maybe😭 160 GREAT BRITISH POUNDS IS CRAZY THOUGH

Should I change my name when I was starting out I didn't really know what I was doing but now that I know a little more abut findom I don't think I have a good name. I don't think I like mistress anymore 😕 what do you think? I want to be more of a spoiled brat or princess type thing.

Manifesting many more like this 🥰

Honestly I love a good amazon gift card as a treat or surprise from my subs or people who approach me. What are y’all favorite types of gifts to receive? I haven’t been gifted much on throne at all, I need to reset my throne it’s not appealing tbh I just haven’t had time but let me know what yalls favorite things to receive are (:

Do you ever seek in person findom?

I apologize for posting this as a Domme as I know this subreddit is not for me but I have a question for the fin subs in the group. Is in person findom dead? My first experience with findom was when I was quite young, around 20-21. That was my introduction to the fetish and I found it came quite natural to me. After that I got into online findom but it was mostly to meet subs locally. Collar space (formerly collarme) was big at the time and it was a really great community. But my goal was always to find people locally.

It seems online is the only option now. And it is still fulfilling as I’ve had online findom relationships over the years but they came with much more substance than I see spoken about here. But, to me, the most thrilling is dominating in person. I find it a little odd that tik tok, X, and instagram are the way to meet Dommes these days as 99% of what people post on there is edited and fake. I suppose it makes sense given how you can find literally anything on social media. Why not a findom relationship? I’ve noticed more of a shift from seeking Dommes with substance to just basing it all on appearance and I wonder if the rise of the instagram Domme is why.

So my question is this, is anyone doing findom in person anymore?

I just wanted to thank everyone on here for so much valuable advice being shared. It's truly appreciated 🌸🩷