I came to a conclusion at the wrong possible time and I feel like crap

I dated what I always thought of as the love of my life when I was 21. He was a yr younger. We were head over heels and it was a very sweet relationship. He treated me like I mattered and was loved. The only person in my life (going forward to do this). He was in the military and had to go overseas but we made plans for me to come over halfway through. Only I messed up and had a fling for 1 night 3 weeks before, with his best friend. I still carry guilt 30 yrs later. Like horrible, u repressed guilt. He was told almost immediately. He forgave his best friend.

6 months later he comes home and tells me that he got a girl pregnant and he was going to marry her but wasn't in love with her but it was the right thing to do.

That got put on the back burner and we still saw each other and would date randomly and hook up of course, off and on, before I ended up moving and getting married. Immediately regretted getting married, & only did so because he refused to commit to relationship. 2 yrs later when I moved back, we had talked about getting back together. Then he tells me he got married. Wtf?

As the years passed he would initiate contact 90% of the time with me anywhere from every couple of months, every couple of weeks to even a year or two in between. Now depending on where we were in the world, or in our lives, we would either talk for a few emails or on the phone or even meet in person. Or email back and forth for a year. I never personally cheated on any of my spouses but I felt validation when I became the other woman to his spouse because in my eyes I didn't like her. We became sounding boards for each other. He was very unhappy in his marriage. I was unhappy in my second marriage and was in an abusive relationship.

I guess this is my payback for what I did. I never fell out of love with this guy. He was everything I always wanted. But it was always talking and flirting for however long then meeting up and hooking up and then we would just go on with our lives for however long. But it was always so sweet and it meant a lot to me at the time every single time.

I thought in my mind that this meant something for both of us. Why else would he initiate contact after almost 30 years as often as he did? We had intense chemistry even after all of this time.

I ended up in a very dark place for a couple of years. I'm not proud of it but I'm proud of what I came through. I ended up on drugs lost everything I had and even had a false charge against me to where I ended up going to prison for something that I did not do in the courts knew I didn't do it but I still went for not paying it fine. And I was so ashamed of this. But since I got out I have busted my ass and done everything on my own with no one's help but my own. that I have no family I have nobody to support me but me.

Last year I ended a relationship that was second only to mine with this guy. But when I saw him again, it was different, he was different. He was lying to me, he was standing me up, and the pain was real. He was an ass to be honest. I was doing everything I can to get his attention, and it just was hooking up and that was it.

I'd spoken to him a few weeks ago and he had told me he had been sick and in and out of the hospital. I'd mentioned I'd been sick at the same time too. And we would send a message or two back and forth every few days. I just thought he was being an ass. But apparently he was back in the hospital again. During this time I find out later everybody was coming to see him he was wanting people to come and see him I had even asked and he said no to me.

I get a message on this past Wednesday that he had been flown to a hospital two and a half hours away in critical condition. So I go down there a few days ago and see him and I just lose it. This is the person I envisioned one day having a life with. And seeing him it absolutely broke my heart & his family was consoling me. His friends were consoling me and I felt guilty for this because I it should have been the other way around.

His prognosis is not good, actually poor, but I was told that he's responding and he was, he made the motion for me to stop crying.

While talking to his family, his mom mentioned that this one girl was going to show up and it didn't phase me, I wasn't paying attention. Turns out it was his "off and on" person for the past 10 years and she asked if I knew about her. I'd never heard of this person in my life. And I made some kind of smart ass comment well I'm the off and on for 30. That kind of grabbed everybody's attention. I don't know why I said that. But apparently no one else knew about me. Except his sister. And it hit me tonight. I was just a side hook up that's it .

I meant absolutely zilch. Nothing. He couldn't bring me around his family his friends. Like he could this other person, even while he was still married. I was just a side piece for 30 flipping years. And nobody knew and I opened my mouth. I was introduced as a lifelong friend.

I feel so damn selfish that I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself as he's laying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. I realized I didn't know that part of his life and wasn't a part of his life. He kept that separate on purpose. I was an embarrassment because of what I'd been through. He didn't want me around his friends and family. Even though they, some of them, knew me. A couple people even commented on "oh! so you're xxx!". And they promised me it was good. B******* .

His sister sent me a message that essentially I felt like was thanks for coming up, don't come back. I had planned on coming back tomorrow. And I'm thinking why? I'm not the person he wants there. He doesn't want me there. They don't want me there. nobody knows who I am except the people that have heard the bad s*** about me and I'm just a f****** embarrassment. I feel weird. And I am a piece of s*** for feeling this way and crying as much as I did.

Am I wrong to be selfish about this and hurt and all of a sudden while this man that I have loved so much is fighting for his life to be freaking pissed the f*** off that it just hit me, he was embarrassed of me and kept me a f****** secret. I meant nothing.

I am exhausted. I haven't slept but a handful of hours. I was supposed to have been updated but no one has told me anything. I'm not in the "official" group text bc I wasn't that important in his life I realize.

What a sucky time to realize it.

It's always been tough for me [M19] to connect with people. Last year, I was lucky to socialize even once every couple of weeks, sometimes going a whole month without any interaction. I actively tried to make friends and even had a brief romantic encounter with a man (I considered myself asexual) just for the social aspect. Thankfully, I've since found genuine friends and realized I'm attracted to women.

I recently met a woman I really like – she's genuinely kind, which is rare in my experience. She mentioned having 8 sexual partners, a number that honestly blew my mind. For two years she had sex more often than I talked to people! I have no judgment towards her, but it highlights a life experience so different from mine. I think I've had fewer close friends in my entire life.

I've been actively working on my social life for a few years now, doing everything I could just to be around people. While things are better now, I can't help but feel jealousity towards those who have casual sex, and even more so towards those in meaningful relationships.

Hello everyone. I (22 M) am moving out of parents’ house to start my first job out of state after many applications and spending almost a year at home after graduating college last year. Although the prospect of having my own apartment and my own job with income is great and I’m lucky to be in this position considering many people are struggling a lot right now to get bye, I still feel terrified of what’s to come tbh. I’m mainly looking for some advice on how to deal with the transition to adulthood emotionally. Although the responsibilities of adulthood are challenging in their own right, I’m mostly worried about missing my family since I am very close with them.

I had friends in college and was in state (only about 3 hours away max) and I still felt homesick a decent amount of time. I had plenty of long breaks to look forward when I could visit while now visits are fewer and far between due to being farther away and since I will have less days off. I know I’m very privileged since many people don’t have families to go back to or nice childhoods with no trauma, but I’m wondering if anyone has any advice on how to deal with emotionally handling the transition. Hearing how people dealt with this hopefully will make me feel less alone.

Ok, this might get a little messy. I’m not super good at sorting the chronological order of events that went on, and it’s still an incredibly anger inducing story for me. I’ve been in contact with several people about the situation (government agencies police etc) and none of them are interested, and at this point it’s pretty much scream into a pillow or post on Reddit. My pillow is all out of space for screams so here I am.

I worked in a casino for a few years, reception job - easily the best job to have in a casino. I got very friendly with a lot of very wealthy people over the time I worked there. There was one guy who for the purpose of this story I will call Leon (meaning lion, his real name also means lion) who had a ‘wife’ that we will call Zara.

Leon and Zara would come in semi often but not really gamble, just sit at the bar and drink, fine by me as they paid their bill and seemed nice enough, one day Leon comes in alone (weird) holding a letter from the police (extra weird) and looking incredibly upset, I went up to take a break in the back of the casino and passed him on the way, just sort of sitting at the bar zoning out looking like he might make some kind of terrible decision, so I walked up to him, cracked a few jokes and asked if he was ok, he said yes so I left him be and went for a smoke.

Later I find out (in casinos everybody talks constantly, you cannot have secrets from us) that Leon had caught his wife cheating on him in the park with this random guy and was, as you can imagine, heartbroken. My heart goes out to him because I am an overly naive person (been trying to work on that), we have another conversation which is something along the lines of ‘hey, I know it sucks super hard right now but you will be ok eventually’ and we leave it at that. Leon owns and manages a ‘hedge fund asset management type affair’ (obviously I know nothing about finance)

He told me the police letter was because he had been arrested for assault after fighting the guy he caught Zara cheating with

He later finds me on instagram - I have a pretty unusually spelled name so it wasn’t super hard - and asks me, platonically, out for a drink. I feel super bad for the guy because of his situation and decide I can’t let him drink alone so yeah why not? Right? I can speak to him a bit, maybe make him feel a bit better and whatever.

Casinos have a very strict anti fraternisation policy when it comes to guests.

This was of course my own fault. I knew I wasn’t supposed to go but decided to anyway, fast forward about a week or so and I get called to my managers office who brings up CCTV of me walking past another casino the company owns with Leon, I don’t try to deny it of course and tell him we grabbed a couple of drinks because he was feeling pretty down and, whilst knowing I’m not supposed to, I do still have empathy for the people I meet on a regular basis. He essentially tells me it’s ok but not to do it again which is fair enough.

Now is the fucked up part.

I knew I would have the meeting with the manager a few days before it happened and felt pretty nervous, I end up messaging Leon and telling him that if anyone asks him, there is no need to lie. They have the proof so just tell the truth so he won’t get blacklisted from the casino, and if I get fired I will just have to find another job, I made my bed and I’ll lie in it. Leon tells me that he actually really needs a personal assistant. If I would be willing to work for him then he’d be happy to hire me at a pretty good pay rise, I of course am a little distrusting but we’ve made a pretty good friendship to this point (without any expectations) so I tell him it’s really not necessary but he insists, I end up taking the job, get a contract sent through and signed, take an aptitude test and fill out all of the usual forms you would associate with starting a new job.

Everything online checks out, he has a pretty good website with a directors list, the firm is listed on Bloomberg and with the uk business directory, there’s multiple news releases of big investments that the company has made into other companies and Leon has a driver so that he doesn’t need to focus on driving himself places and can work from the back of the car.

As I begin to work for him, suddenly every day is hectic, I can handle it. But it feels like there’s always a fire to put out. As I said, I don’t know much about finance, right? I’m supposed to be there as an assistant to make appointments and write up meeting minutes and be some kind of emotional crutch to a man who’s just lost everything, but things start to get strange and I stop being so trusting of him.

My first pay date is end of June, nothing. I call him and ask what’s happened as I can’t afford now to pay my rent, he blames it entirely on the payment provider we’re going through (Wagestream and ADP), he’s forwarding me the emails from them that say that they fucked up, he’s calling them for me, so I assume he’s being truthful and something happened in the backend somewhere, I guess mistakes happen.

My birthday is July 1, he asked me not to make any plans for it as we would have to go on a really important trip that weekend so I did as asked. On Friday we were supposed to go at 11am, he comes to pick me up.. I put my luggage in the back of the car and he got a phone call, he said he had to go for 40 minutes to quickly sort out an emergency and then would come back to pick me up and we would go to the airport. I was still in my house 8 hours later, without my luggage and not knowing what was going on, all my calls going to voicemail, crying and smoking cigarettes on my balcony.

I end up going to Spain for my birthday to see my mother, she lends me the money to pay my rent and Leon buys me a ticket to come back to London because he ‘really needs his assistant to be back around because he has so much on’, we’re closing a deal with a really big property developer who was introduced to him through a very dear friend of mine.

A few more crazy things happened within this time that I really can’t be bothered to get in to But namely, fights with Zara, arguing with her over twitter dms etc

The deal kept getting pushed back and pushed back and there were a lot of problems involved, he was supposed to be financing it and sent the proof of payment as well as forwarding several emails from the banks who are supposed to be confirming the money is sent and it looks like everything is good and it’s all happening

Then my dear friend calls me and asks me ‘what the fuck have you two been doing’

Upon switching the call to FaceTime and seeing the shock on my face, my friend calms and realises I have had wool pulled over my eyes, he tells me that all of the emails are fake. They’re fraudulent as well as a donation Leon had made to a charity for a pretty large amount (he faked the transfer document)

I did not get paid for July either (this is now two months of not getting paid)

I called his driver to let him know that I didn’t think he would get paid, he had also been swayed by Leon’s convincing scam and assured me that couldn’t be the case for several reasons

I stopped talking to Leon or going to work and started to liaise directly with HR to tell them I just wanted the money I was owed (that I in turn owe to my mother, otherwise I’d be homeless) and they assure me they’ll draw up paperwork meaning I can’t sue and pay me the money

They do neither of those things

The driver calls me back, he did not get paid, worse still, Leon logged onto the other drivers phone pretending he needed to make a phone call and managed to transfer himself £50,000 from the drivers mobile banking app.

I start to get in contact with all of the CEO’s of the companies I initially saw the press releases from, it turns out he’s done exactly the same thing to all of them, promising large amounts of money and pretending to have sent it when actually he hasn’t, and all of the documents are forged.

In this time he had given me a list of fake addresses (one of which was the address of one of the CEO’s I ended up contacting), a lot of fake stories (he apparently went to a prestigious college in the USA which I now doubt) he has a bunch of certifications on his LinkedIn, I went through the register for each one and he appears on none of them.

So the whole thing is basically fake.

I have no idea why, what he gains from it, or how the FCA have allowed him to get away with it. If anybody has literally any insight at all please do let me know, he legally owes me £17,000 (I won a tribunal and he still hasn’t paid me) and god knows how much to other people, it’s honestly the craziest thing that’s ever happened to me and it’s been almost a year and I still wake up crying sometimes, I honestly wish I had never tried to help him in the first place (emotionally) and I’ve now been forced to give up my whole life and move in with my mother just to try to financially recover a little

TLDR: my ‘friend’ asked me to work for him and then plunged me into the weirdest scam Ive ever seen in my entire life

Bro like how TF do you flirt with women and date women?? Here are some examples of people I know both online and irl.

Like my own brother in law, bro has that aura and he's able to talk to ANYONE. Yeah, anyone. Me though? When I talk it feels like a substitute teacher or a salesman or just "hey", "did you have food?" , "bye".

Example 2, my friend. While I can't even flirt for shit, here's my friend who's able to flirt with women. You might say "why not ask him for advices?" I did and after hearing what he said, I only ended up being in angst. Rather I only had thoughts "did I do everything right?" Or "is it too friendly?"

And for those who would ask where did you try finding dates, I tried finding people at work. Bummer that they're either taken or married themselves. Yeah dumb luck ik.

I never understand why am I even living in this world when I can attract 0 people. Yes ZERO. And I got into this whole dating scene (rather never dated only tried) when I was 13.

Fast forward 27, still never been in a relationship. Imagine how pathetic it sounds in a third person POV??

I'm having an operation soon and I'm scared. I have frequent hallucinations and an anxiety disorder, as well as PTSD due to abuse I went through due to my mental illness and ableism from family. I'm getting an operation in 2 weeks to prevent me from having children that I won't be able to care for and who will likely have the same psychiatric conditions (1 in 2 chance per kid).

I'm hearing voices saying that I'm going to die and God is going to punish me for wanting to have sex or for other things I did. I have therapy in a week and am going to support groups but does anyone have any suggestions for me?

Straight to the point, i want to ask my family if its ok that i commit suicide. Ive wanted to not be here for over 20 years now. Ive tried everything to improve my life, many different types of therapies, moved far away but came back home. Nothing actually has improved my life. I think about suicide all the time, passively and actively. Anyone done this before?

Ill try to be quick and to the point. Little background about myself. I am a retired disabled veteran that has a hard time making new friends. Divorced father of 3 in my mid forty's. I have a best friend of the opposite sex. Its one of those best friends that we were either meant to be together or just the best of friends. We were introduced to each other by her mother who is in my same career field, we have the same last name, we both have cats from the same litter, and just get along great. Never have we ever even started to have any type of romantic gesutrss or anything. I met a couple new aquaintances about a month ago. I have been hanging out and getting to know them a little bit, not a whole lot. But just starting to become friends. One night going in a week ago I was hanging out with the new potential friends and just had this strange feeling. I couldnt put my finger on it and tried to not think too mich of it. Toward the end of the evening I noticed my best friend was calling me as I was about to leave. I figured I would call them when I had gotten home. Once I had gotten home I was made aware that they had been calling me for the past hour. When I tried returning the call the phone was off and going straight to voicemail. A few hours later at about 7 am I received a call from her mother. My friend had went out with someone new and had been assaulted. She had called me before this had happened and had wanted me to give her a ride home and since I didnt answer received a ride from the assailant. She was physically hurt very badly and spent 2 days in the hospital. Since this has happened i cant bring myself to be around her. I dont know how to move on from me letting one of the most important people in my life down. I feel physically sick.

I know I'm probably just being a hormonal teenager but I'm spiraling. I've been crying for the past hour and idk how to stop. I lost my passion in arts and sports, when I tried to be valedictorian this school year I only came out second, every competition I've joined I've came out as second place. I don't need a congratulations, I know it's only pity. Pity because I quite literally had several mental breakdowns about it. I thought I just went numb but now its 10pm and I'm just sobbing again. I really wanna kill myself because I feel like I can't accomplish anything. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, I don't have any talents or passions.. everyone tells me it's ok but it's not. I put my effort into this and then, someone does better than me. Someone always does. It's like my life wants me to be humbled every single time I believe in myself. And it's working. I'm so close to kicking the chair or taking a whole bottle of pills. Noone ever cared for me. Not my parents. Not my "friends". Noone.

I’m a Sugar daddy, 37 years old and seeing a 24 year old. I’m concerned she will/is getting feelings for me. Is this a common thing to occur?

I’ll try to keep it short as I can but I want to give as much detail so I can have proper feedback. I (23M) and my gf (23F) have been together for 1 year. It’s been poetic to say the least, from both sides. She is lovely, very kind and compassionate, very loving to myself and my son. Gets along swimmingly with my family and hers with me as well. We have never yelled at each other, we are wonderful communicators and always solve the problems together. I can confidently say up until recent we had no true issues.

About 5 weeks ago, I found out an incident that had happened with a coworker of ours that happened much before we had met. Maybe 2 years ago, give or take (Just to clarify, they never slept together only 2 dates and he pursued her for about a year while married, ending in his wife divorcing him). While it’s not a huge deal to me and Im not one to judge anyone’s past, I had specifically asked upwards of 7-8 times if anything had ever happened concerning this specific coworker. I didn’t care of feel threatened but ever since he found out her and I were together his attitude towards me did a complete 180. We went from friendly and talkative.. to short, pointed and very odd remarks about my gf.

This threw me off an I had specifically asked about this behavior and if there is anyway she could help me understand the sudden change. She never alluded to this issue and was adamant that nothing ever happened. Well turns out another person had their suspicions of something that had happened and finally I pressed her a little further as my gut was telling me that wasn’t the full truth. It turns out that all it was and like I said I couldn’t care less, but it really dampened the trust I had built in her.

I decided to break it off then and let sleeping dogs lie. Up until this point I have never had anxiety attacks or knots outside of drinking too much coffee. But that night I felt sick, like I had taken it too far and that I was seriously walking away from something that is repairable. I brushed it off and didn’t reach out. She pursued me unwaveringly for 3-4 days and even broke down at work multiple times because of it. Finally she met me after work 4 weekends ago (roughly 4-5 days after this event) and gives me a very long letter. In this letter I was blown away by everything she thought. She held nothing back and never did anything but admit wrong doing and never made an excuse for her actions.

On top of my truly believing to my core that I had made a mistake and praying about it, I decided to slowly take steps to reconciliation. Everything was great, she kept true to all her commitment and promises and truly opened up more about everything I could possibly find out or that may hurt me in the future (nothing I didn’t already know). This lasted and was great but everyday I was questioning her silently, I wouldn’t say anything other than I slowly realized I still didn’t trust her. I didn’t fully believe everything she said and always felt like I was looking and searching for an out or to be right. Finally I pulled the trigger last night after we agreed to spend today with each other and head into work Saturday from my home.

Once I sent the text, I was very polite but to the point that my lack of trust in her was wavering and that I didn’t think I could do this with her but I still did very much love her. About 35 minutes later she started to frantically call me and asked to come in and that she was at my house. I let her in and we were very quiet for a while until the silence grew painful. She asked and begged me to ‘jump’ for her and to let her show me that everything she said was true and pure. While I truly love her I was hesitant to take that huge leap of faith after I already had and it had been broken. After a few hours of very respectful talking and communication, we agreed that we jump together. I agreed not to attempt to leave again just because I’m still hurting and she agreed to be transparent and honest and help rebuild. She then spent the night and planned to go home in the morning, pack a bag and continue our plans. This would have taken a total of 2 hours max.

When she got home she went AWOL, absolute silence. Then sends me a very shocking text that she’s very in love with me and that she loves us but doesn’t like the cycle of rinse and repeat we seem to be starting. I ask to meet and she agrees, it turns out when she made it home her sister sat her down and told her that they are concerned because of her frantic and late departure three times to my home in the past month to make sure we didn’t split up.

When we met she explained that she needed space and that she wanted to be able to breathe and that she feels as if she’s begging me to love and trust her. We have polar opposite responses to this specific issue, hers being to cling tighter and mine being to walk away fairly quickly and without warning. I understand that I’ve also made the mistake of giving her no reason to trust that I won’t walk away again. After promising the first time I won’t, doing it abruptly one night and then agreeing again that I’d take that leap of faith with her once more.

The part I need advice on: She asked for space, not a break or to break up but just space from each other for a bit. She asked to keep our locations on, we set ground rules to stay exclusive and trust that our loyalty will not waver in the time being. She agreed we will keep up some sense of normalcy, such as being our normal selves at work, occasional texting and checking in and maybe spending a few hours a week eating out or going to the park. She wasn’t very specific on a timeframe but did say she thinks it’s best we take anywhere from 2-6 weeks to both determine our best relationship-repair tools and tactics then resume us and put an end to this cycle. I agreed, not very willingly and have again turned into a slight ball of anxiety. She’s never given me a reason to doubt her loyalty only her trust. But asked that for at least the first 48 hours refrain from texting and both just relax and breathe.

In my mind I don’t necessarily see this as super healthy as communication in solving the issue together is the common goal, not ignoring the problem and each other. I also think we both have cracks in the foundation of trust for different reasons that this break may not fix.

Am I wrong in believing that we maybe signing the relationships death warrant?

I also at least plan on waiting until first contact to communicate to her but thought that similarly writing a letter conveying all my thoughts, feelings and strategies would be optimal so that she understands this is not one sided and that I want this at bad as she does.

Does this sound like a poor idea?

I did at one point ask for space after the initial break up and that was the 3-4 days I mentioned earlier, to which she sadly agreed to. When I reinitiated contact and brought some normalcy back into our lives, that’s when she gave me the letter she had wrote the first day of the break up.

Should I wait out the silence and give her the space she wants? Should I make one last stand and effort to form healthy repair strategies with her and keep moving forward? Should I quietly or verbally let this relationship go?

To reiterate, even now I don’t doubt the love and choice of daily love we have for each other. She was very emotional asking for time and seemed to be hurting bad when starting the conversation but also seemed extremely optimistic that this was going to be good for us and that us proving to each other that I can trust her word and she can trust my commitment, we will flourish. She also agreed with my sentiment that this wasn’t enough to fix the issue but a start. But I do have a slight feeling that while her emotions were all genuine, the ‘fix’ to our issues was regurgitated and not actually her own personal wants. It seemed very against our entire relationship up until this point and the way we solve our issues.

Sorry for the length of this, thank you in advance for all the replies and feedback!

My coworker asked me to switch shifts with her and I agreed, saying I had no plans (totally spacing that it was my husband’s birthday.) I just realized it now at 2 am and (foolishly) replied back to the email (which has time stamps) my coworker sent me and my supervisor about switching shifts in a panic, and the shift update was already put into the schedule. I really hope we can switch back because we have plans. I also hope my coworker and supervisor believe me and don’t think too poorly of me.

It’s been a long time coming. Things have always been very fragile and on and off. A few weeks ago I got promoted onto a weekend night shift and I knew it would put strain on everything, and it did.

Some of it was me overthinking but most of it was just this person has never been all in with me, and he doesn’t meet me in the middle or make the effort required to overcome challenges. I know he should have been out of my life a long time ago but part of me believed that if I was just positive and loving enough I could make things work. I’ve always been let down.

So anyway the last few weeks my self esteem and work ethic have taken a huge hit as I braced myself for the end of this and fought too hard to hold onto it. I worked nights before but this time it’s been a lot harder to adjust, and instead of being happy and proud of myself for the promotion (which I wanted for a long time) I just feel drained and tired. I haven’t been focused and I haven’t gotten myself in trouble or had performance issues yet but I also haven’t made the good first impression I could have made. And my days off have been spent crying or stressing myself out over life and this person. I’ve fallen into a huge depression and it feels like my brain is just numb.

Today was the worst day and I knew from the second I woke up I can’t do this anymore. It’s a day off and I didn’t want to leave bed. I looked in the mirror and said the meanest things to myself. I cried and cried all day while I tried and failed to talk things out and a few hours ago we decided he doesn’t share my feelings and it ended. Two and a half years done.

I hate how this has affected me. I hate how it’s impacted my job and my self worth. A few months ago I was getting some space from him and I was making progress and healing and I hate how I fell back in. I feel like I’ve wasted time and a good opportunity and I don’t know how to pick myself up.

Feeling overwhelmed, excited, or just need to vent? I’m here with an open ear and zero judgment. Whether it’s love, work, a wild dream, or a tough day, I’d love to listen and give you a space to breathe. You deserve to feel heard reach out whenever you’re ready.

(Drop a comment below if DMs aren’t working for you!)

I had a really heavy night with my two friends and ended up shitting myself and they helped clean it up. I have zero memory of it and what happened. Just feel so disgusting and embarrassed.

One of them said I need professional help, as in therapy bc me going off alone drunk was concerning.

Im not a big drinker, i dont know I just hate this.

I'm currently juggling way too many responsibilities and I'm at least three weeks away before a good chunk of them start dropping off.

I'm worried about my housing situation, my job contract, some trainings I need to complete, my physical health, and damaging my mental health to the point I will start exploding on my loved ones.

I'm currently stuck on a task that I wasn't able to send over the weekend, and was able to negotiate an extension for a couple others but I feel like there's a 3-year-old child in me who's pouting and refusing to cooperate. I've only been sleeping 6 hours on average for the past 3 weeks.

I keep telling myself that it will get better, that this is a season, that my anxiety will not impact outcomes like contract renewals, and that it will be worth it. But my inner three-year-old is not listening and it's tanking my ability to focus on the bare minimum and relax. My inner child's refusal to comply is hindering my self-esteem directly. I cannot quit or let go of anything, I'm in a state of productive attrition and it sucks. I do not have any vacations coming up until late next month, I cannot take any more days off from work, and I don't want to feel like I'm burdening my loved ones with my inability to "get over this".

This is my cry for help (not in a life-ending way) as I've never felt this overwhelmed in a long time and my usual coping skills are not mitigating the distress.

For background info, I’ve known my best friend since 6th grade, went to college together and even worked together for a couple of years while in college. After college, we became close with two other girls and that that has been our group for a couple of years. She became a teacher about 3 years ago and became friends with other people and hangout and go on trips with them which I totally get! Yet we started noticing she would always go on the trips and never invite and when I asked her about it in playful way she just responded “ well I don’t make the plans”. When it came to our group making trying or hanging out she would be very hesitant to go or not go at all. It was becoming distance and awkward. About a year ago, we talked to her about the situation and how we were feeling and asking if she was okay. She broke out crying explaining she has a lot going on at home and feels overwhelmed. ( her mom has been sick for years which I get that is scary) yet my friend pointed out that we thought she was okay because we would still see her go out and post with her other friends. After that things seemed to get better but became awkward again. Last week, she messaged the group chat on a day we were all supposed to hang out but she said she couldn’t due to work. She basically said that she not okay and that she is mentally drained dealing with everything at home and needs time to find herself and get better. She also said that she things we are in different phases in our life or that we have simply grown distance and that is okay. I was confused and honestly hurt upon reading this message. I was confused on how our friendship was getting in the way, we hang out ONCE a week and go on trips maybe twice a year. We communicate through messages. We are not in different phases of life…. We are not married, have kids, and we all live at home. We all have a good jobs. I don’t know if to reach out or not. I kinda don’t want to but it’s such a long friendship and feels wrong to just throw it away. I feel like she is using mental health and issue at home as an excuse for not be friends anymore. We have all had issues both at home and mental issue yet we are still here present in the friendship.

I live in a big, bright city and I feel so sure the little guy just simply could not see at all. It's breakfast time for critters like him and he was trying to cross a main road. It's very bright there. I'm sure he couldn't tell what was happening in front of him.

It wasn't a just... sort of... darted in front of a tire, couldn't see him situation -- he ran across the road and we served to try and avoid him, but there was some asshole tailgating us already so we couldn't just break. I could feel the AWFUL crunch of his wee ribs neath the tires. Just writing this out makes me feel absolutely sick.

Yes, I know this happens in nature, too... stags get their antlers caught and can't get free, deer flip and land on their necks, animals get trampled, critters fall and die, or get sick, or are killed and eaten -- or eaten, and then killed.

I just can't seem to get over this awful sense that I'm the smarter critter and we should have known better somehow to save him that suffering. The pain must have been unbearable. Omg. The poor little thing. I can't.

I... guess, please consider this a reminder to give everyone in front of you room to come to a complete stop. If we had room to slow down, a living thing would be alive still.

Feeling overwhelmed, excited, or just need to vent? I’m here with an open ear and zero judgment. Whether it’s love, work, a wild dream, or a tough day, I’d love to listen and give you a space to breathe. You deserve to feel heard reach out whenever you’re ready.

(Drop a comment below if DMs aren’t working for you!)

I need help guys me and my girlfriend of a year broke up and I need to get over her but I think break up sex would help how do I go about asking for it .secondly it think she is already actively taking to guys or trying to and I think to help me fully move on and understand it’s really over I need to a see a video of her fucking. A new dude so I know it wasn’t me she hasn’t had sex with me in a months and I thought it was because she didn’t think I was attractive and I can actively tell she’s looking to move on should I ask her to do that is that okay is that fucked yo what’s your thoughts

I don't want to be a kilt wearing, haggis eating, bagpipes listening to scotsmen. At least I can still hate the English and drink cheap whiskey.

Seriously though, the worst part is I am fully and genetically half Irish. Just on my one parents side who I barely knew, name i don't carry, and don't really want to emulate.

So yeah, I'm sad and need to vent. I was supposed to start my third year in college, but I can't because I didn't do one specific class, which in my opinion it's a little unfair, I would be kinda ok if I wouldn't be able to do one or two classes because I didn't do that one, but stopping me from doing the whole third year is crazy in my opinion, and worse part is that no one told me about this special rule.
Now because of this little problem I have this weird gap year I'm doing right now, I'm taking some classes I couldn't do previously, but it messed up my whole routine, and it makes me feel disconnected from everything. I was building friendships, I had a rhythm going, and now it feels like I’m starting over.
I can still see them once or twice, but it's not the same, and now I feel isolated. I'm also not a social butterfly, so they were the only company I had.
I'm also not a social butterfly, so it's hard for me to make friends

For a bit of context, I live in the Philippines therefore the political climate here is different for the others (assuming a lot of people in reddit are American)

Whenever I get to see anything political whether it be posts from social media, shares of said posts from social media to messenger, discord, or from TV, all of those thought of self-harm, thoughts of making an attempt and stress all together that all comes back so quickly.

I have read some things before, (around 2022) regarding politics to try to educate myself better about what's going on. Let's just put it simply that I have read some things that are able to convince me about Killing myself if I am x or whatever, felt like my feelings are invalid and doesn't matter if I feel stressed out over politics because "other people have it worse than me and if I would rather choose to ignore these things, I am privileged therefore I am part of the problem". I am convinced somehow that my mental health being affected very negatively is nothing compared to the likes of what's going on to others (ex. Palestine, People below the poverty line, etc.) becasue theirs matters more than my mental health and caring for my mental health is an act of selfishness. This convinces me to bottle it all up and tell myself that I am just oversensitive.

But I am done lying to myself, I have to admit that I have a problem Politics won't go away since it's always there and will always be there. It wouldn't be good if every time I see anything political, these are the thoughts that will swarm my head.

I have talked it out already with my relatives and family, all of them have advised that same thing and said I should stay away from Social media for a while. Yet having already read some takes that criticizes such behavior of "staying away from social media to take care of your mental health is problematic".

it has been 3 years since I felt like this and I am still not able to get over this feeling. Elections are coming up and I don't think I might be okay when the results came out because I know every the chaos that will come after that.

I cannot take my life anymore I have immense hate for myself and my parents laziness and everything and everyone I know

I seriously need some advice because I hate everything I hate god if it exists for putting me through this meaningless waste

initially I wanted kids and a family and I worked every day very hard in school to one day achieve that but I genuinely do not know if I can last another 17 months in this abusive dumpster of trash I hate my life what do I do