r/oddlysatisfying • u/ShallowAstronaut • 1d ago

Cutting a pineapple

49.0k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

547 comments sorted by

View all comments

5.2k

u/Darctide 1d ago

I want the job where I hold the bag open

2.5k

u/TheScottishMoscow 1d ago

Can you look really, really unimpressed and miserable?

605

u/KathrynSpencer 1d ago

Depends, how long have you worked for Walmart?

286

u/aspidities_87 1d ago

Welcome to Pineapple Mart, I love you.

58

u/AlmightyTurtleman 1d ago

Do you sell oranges? I feel like some oranges.

65

u/Jeffbx 1d ago

Pineapple only. NEXT!

42

u/Bilbo_nubbins 1d ago

Then he wadddled away, waddle waddle

15

u/SH4D0W0733 1d ago

'Til the very next day (Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum, ba-dum)

2

u/Djbusx 12h ago

Got any grapes?

11

u/yowza8 1d ago

Sir, this is a 2025 Wendy's, not Orange Dreamsicle Frosty 2024 Wendy's.

10

u/Krawen13 1d ago

I got my degree at pineapple mart

44

u/mrspelunx 1d ago

That’s called “retail face”. I have it bad.

11

u/drgigantor 1d ago

I worked a job that started writing employees up for retail face. Somehow, it didn't help

6

u/MisterCleaningMan 1d ago

I made my husband’s nurse laugh her ass off when I came home and he said oh for some reason, I thought you still worked at Walmart. And I asked him does it look like I want to end my own life?

10

u/diffyqgirl 1d ago

There is a cashier at my local Paneras who is so chipper and I'm just confused.

5

u/MangoCats 1d ago

> so chipper and I'm just confused.

Prescription drugs.

2

u/wicket999 1d ago

Actually, I thought that was what NON-perscription drugs were for.

2

u/MangoCats 23h ago

They work too, but the number of prescription happy pills released in the last 30 years is... significant.

1

u/Clean_your_lens 3h ago

So true, and honestly why the fuck not? There aren't any medals for being miserable.

1

u/MangoCats 1h ago

My father used the happy pills until he realized they were enabling him to make short term happy decisions that lead to long term problems, like financial insolvency.

My neighbor's whole family uses the happy pills and it enables them to not worry about where the mortgage payment will be coming from, just have faith and then the job in real estate sales paid off when the market boomed. It worked out for them, but easily could have gone differently.

3

u/theDomicron 1d ago

Looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays!