I relapsed and was about to start my binge. I lost $200 in about 10 minutes and was about to start chasing my loss and deposit $300 of my last $1000 to my name but no. I fucking quit. I did not deposit it and I am never ever going to gamble ever again. this demon has taken enough of my sanity and I am tired of pretending like it is just some hobby or pastime it is not it is fucking my life up and I can't handle how I feel after inevitably losing everything after my binges. It is over. I self excluded every site i use and the local casinos. I am done.

Some sneaky businessmen that own casinos and other shitty companies like that, dreamed of me giving them my hard earned money, through a product/process that included me sticking my nose in front of some screen and watch a number go up and down for some hours/days until my balance gets to $0.00. All of my money and maybe some more (debts) on top. They dreamed of buying a bigger house or another house, or a new car, or go to some lucrative holidays place and spend my money in nice hotels, beaches, drinking mohito with beautiful girls.

But instead, I preferred to spend my money for me and the last 2 days a friend visited my city and we spent a crazy Friday-Saturday night out, ate amazing food, nice drinks, and went to the best concert of the town and had some fun watching a top singer. All this, spending only what would be a lost bet on some soccer match of League 2 or some clicks on a slot machine.

Now I am sitting here with the rest of my money, and I am dreaming these shitty companies go down and down and down and these sneaky busisnessmen to go bankrupt, lose their houses, cars and everything and even better they commit some tax fraud or some embezzlement and go to a jail with very slippery soaps

I can’t understand how I know it’s rigged and still keep coming back. The money means nothing anymore im addicted to the high. It’s never enough for me I’ll stop when I’m up only to reopen the app and continue to dump it all then max out my transfer limit. And start asking friends and family to complete the deposits. I feel ashamed and gross but numb so numb to everything. I wanna cry but I can’t. I feel like I should feel somthing but nothing is there. It’s almost like I’m self sabotaging myself and I can’t understand why.

I screwed everything up.. I am 23, last year I had a lower paid remote job and wonderful girl.. Year later I have a middle paid job from the office, huge amount of debts and even though my salary is like trippled I have to pay everything to the bank and to other people. I have anxiety and depression, sinuses problem, tooth problem and no money of course. All I earn goes to bank and to people I owe money to, nothing is left for me, and job is not even secure and they can fire me anytime. The money I took from the bank I could have bought a beast of a car but I gambled it all away and now I will be paying them 5 years for literally nothing. Today I found out my friend, which is the only one out of all of my friends who didn’t have a car is buying a car this week. I am happy for him but at the same time I am jealous I don’t have it, and deep down I know I do not deserve it.. Gambling ruined my life man.

Just when I think I’ve hit rock bottom I realize it was just a glass floor. I the last 6 months I have been bailed out of pretty serious money situations twice. The first instance my sister refinanced her home to loan me $19000 to pay off high interest loans I took out to gamble with. Immediately after that I won a substantial amount of money after hitting a grand jackpot on a slot machine. At first I was responsible and paid off all my credit cards, a loan, and some other small bills. I thought I was finally on track to getting my life back then I went to the casino. Fast forward 3 months and I had the same high interest loans as before and my credit cards were maxed out again. Again my sister took out a loan on her paid off car for me, this time 8k to pay off the same loans again. Only she didn’t know they were the same ones, she thought they were just others I had. She knew I was in bad shape and was just trying to help. Fast forward to March. I lose 20k at the casino and again take out the loans. Last week I went and lost another 6k. My entire paycheck and only hope of paying all of my regular bills, the loans my sister took out, and then the high interest I continue to turn too. Now here I am with nothing to show. My new and hope actual rock bottom. I decided to pull the last ace I have and one I hoped I would never have to use. I dipped into my 401k to pay off the high interest loans and some other small bills. I justified it with the thought of paying over 25k in interest on the loans, if I can even afford the money payment. But this is the last save I have when it comes to these loans. I need this to be my rock bottom. I need this to be my last day 5 that I haven’t gambled. I need to finally break free of the hold gambling has had over me. I am nearly 40 years old and have absolutely nothing to show for it. I had so many chances and every one of them I lost at the casino. Since 2021 I have occasionally written self loathing notes to myself and have them saved in my phone. 29 times I have felt low enough for the thought of ending my life to cross my mind. 29 times I put in words what the casino ultimately makes me feel, yet I kept going back. When will this end. I want it to end. I want my life back. Please let this be my last day 5.

Lost 1.5 months worth of my salary tonight sports gambling and have greatly strained my current finances. Literally can't do this anymore or I'm going to end it all. Have stopped before and gone months but always allowed myself to eventually place a small bet that soon enough balloons to way excessive risk territory. I haven't drank in a year and a half because I'm also an alcoholic and similarly completely unable to moderate that.

Need some accountability so I'm starting here - 4/6/25 is my day 1. I'm done with this bullshit

I'm so sorry. I don't know why I keep making this dumb mistake to gamble. I lost €160. My losses are much less then before but its still there. I'm suck of myself.

Down 50k in 2024 since January 2025 till now I’ve lost 12000. Was 11k I just made it 12000 being a dumbass. Duke just proved to me how rigged this shit is. To think most my bets lost by a single leg and in the worst way. It’s always a buzzer or a come back of the ages when I freakin bet. If I single bet it lose in parlay I lose by a leg. I swear to god since January it’s always a leg. forget 2024 I really started keeping track of how much I spend and lost this year and it’s actually sad. I have 30k cc debt some from gambling no savings all 20-25k gone. Have $200 till my next gig and I’m not suicidal but wish I wasn’t here anymore or didn’t exist. How have I doomed myself.

I’ve self excluded on every sport betting app in my state I still find ways to bet using friends account. All this money I lost this year was on friends account. They don’t gamble so I don’t know if they see how much I’m down it’s no way they don’t I have a crippling addiction that’s going to kill me before I’m 25.

My birthday is in exactly 1 month have nothing to show or do for my 24th birthday. I got older and dumber. I know what I’m suppose to do and just can’t let go of my losses it actually sicking. I will quit the. Relapse and cycle keeps going till I’m fucking buried

I feel it’s too far gone for me But if anyone else out there reading thinking they’ll hit big of gambling I promise you it wont happen you’re just going to ruin your life like me.

I knew the road wasn't always going to be smooth. I knew triggers were going to come my way. But the devil on my right shoulder telling me to gamble will again be ignored.

I invest in a 401k, a 500 index mutual fund and my company stock to gain a generous match. I did nothing wrong but market fluctuations just happen.

I'm not going to do something wrong by letting it trigger me to gamble.

Life is going to be full of frustrations and disappointments. But we both have to roll with the punches and not make things worse out of anger and entitlement.

Life will present us with tons of triggers to gamble. My girlfriend broke up with me, my boss yelled at me, my mother passed away.

Let's all be strong and know that tough times don't last but tough people do.

Life is a marathon not a sprint. The more resilience and intestinal fortitude we show in the face of adversity, the prouder we will be each day.

ODAAT! 💪

This is my first ever reddit post. i am 17 still in high school and have been gambling for about a year. It got pretty serious around oct last year when i started dumping my savings into gas station slots. i started off with online bj or roulette for fun but got addicted so quick. to this day i still lose 100s/1000s of dollars i work a part time job and have lost probably around $7-10k if not more gambling… at 16/17 years old lol. i’ve been wanting to turn it around because i am graduating highschool soon and ive had a girlfriend for before i even got my addiction and ik it hurts her to and she doesn’t really know how to help. my grandfather also took his own.. due to gambling and other mental disease of course but knowing that hurts me even more but i cant seem to stop. if anyone has some tips or anything at all id be very appreciative. thank you

Just lost 2000 USD inn 5 minutes. I hsvent hambled inn over 3 months. Then i decided to deposit because i was watching esports. Just as i was depositing the markert closed, and i got really mad. Then i decided in a moment of madness playing blackjack. Guess what i deposited 500 USD 4 times. Then lost it all in 5 minutes. I am super sad that I relapsed. This is recurring. It can go a few months then I get those voices in my head that craves gambling

Watching the Final Four basketball action tonight with my family. So relaxed, able to enjoy the game without stress. I freaking LOVED gambling, loved it. But it was eating away at me. The same stuff I see described in this forum on a daily basis. It's just an awful disease and I'm forever grateful that I was able to stop right around the time that it was becoming legalized country-wide here in the US. It's just not a fair fight and this addiction is so freaking brutal. It is possible to quit gambling, just want everyone out there to know that. I couldn't do it on my first attempt, but eventually I was able to get off the merry go-round. It's possible, and it's worth it. You just have to be willing to try something different.

I'm at the precipice of crumbling to the ground or leaving with a couple of broken bones. That's what this is right now. This is the biggest learning experience of my life or it is the giant pit of destruction I will throw myself into. It comes down to one decision: do I make that first deposit or do I fully understand I am setting myself up for eventual doom by doing so? I keep dabbling with the idea of winning. Over five months now, every win I've ever had has been overshadowed by the shadow of loss. And the only light that exists in gambling comes from me. But when that light shines into this black tunnel that only swirls downwards, it gets snuffed out. Until I shine my light upwards and out of this abyss, I am trapped. I will not find my way out by shining my light into this.

In just five months, I have managed to notice how much of a compulsive gambler I am, through and through. What started with the idea of getting $20 for free with welcome bonuses became the grandiose notions of paying for rent and buying a car and having all money be expendable and to be of no consequence. Then the truth gradually reared its head out of the persuasive gift packages and fork-tongued advertisements: that I am an expendable cog in the corporation's profit machine. I am not the one that will profit. I am not the one that will leave after a dub and I am not the one that will take an L. And all I have to do now, to truly win, is let go.

I will now get metaphorical. As soon as this addiction took hold, my only shot at winning was mounting that addiction on the wall, staring at its reflective surface, and realizing I am on the other side of the glass. This addiction has tried to make me fit in the frame with it. It was successful in doing so, for a time. With the hammer, I shattered the glass. "This painting is awful", I said to myself. I removed it from the wall that tells the story of my life. I then replaced it with a painting that told the story of me punting the tiny beast off a cliff into a pool of piranhas where they could all steal, kill, and destroy. Without peace. Because there is no peace in gambling. Never is there peace when it comes to every decision of risk.

I noticed on my wall other paintings I wanted to see myself in. The priceless relationships with those I hold dear, the musical talent and growth as an artist, the confident and smiling and authentic me. Those are the paintings I dusted and polished. Those are the paintings that will raise in value along with the new paintings that come from living my life with integrity.

Gambling took what it did. I can no longer react to it. It is no longer perceivably viable, but rather perceivably evil. The evil is there from the very start: let me get what I do not deserve. Let me take what is not mine. This world owes me nothing, but I owe God everything. And God doesn't ask that I do much at all except to want Him to help me. God only wants me to want Him. To deny the world, to pick up my cross and to live righteously. This, my fellow humans, is my wish for all problem gamblers out there: open your eyes to what God has in store for you. Open your eyes to what happens when you say no to the lie. Let the truth free you of what has robbed you. Let it show you the robber being struck by the daylight, accosted by justice. We have won this battle when we fight for what's right. There is nothing right about spending our money in games of chance. There is nothing right about winning or losing when you are playing with a tool made for supporting yourself and your friends and your family. Yes, this is my long-winded rant. Coming straight from the poisonous injection of the blackjack table to the clear-minded perspective of a hospital bed.

Hey guys

How should i treat my relapse? I only gamble when i am drunk and last night i got drunk with my friends. It was my payday at job. i gambled 450e but managed to take back 150e and I deleted the online casino app. (Usually I would spend all and them call someone to lend me money - disgusting)

I want to continue my sobriety, i now know that I should never drink alcohol because its my trigger.

I paid most of my debt (all debt to friends) with this month salary.

How should i proceed, please if you have anything that will help me. I feel bad and so angry at myself, but i took xanax and im more calm now. Is this going ti be here my whole life? Will I ever be like I dont care for gambling at all?

I just had to have a tooth removed because I was clenching my jaws during sleep back when I was still gambling. I also developed a strange sensation in my ear during the time I was heavily gambling on stocks and went all-in on a startup stock for a year. It feels like my right ear is underwater. Sounds also seem different. Have any of you experienced or been left with complaints or issues related to gambling, sleep deprivation, and the stress that comes with it?

I don't know what should i do I'm last year physiotherapy student, I'm always was nerd and good student, i was good in physiotherapy as well, but ladt two years i got addicted to betting on football matches, i always wanted to make some money, i made some profits all the time the lost it again, and again i chase my loss, i'm tired of it, i spent all of my money today, even borrowed some from my friend and gambled that away, and i don't have any job to get back that Money anytime soon or in situation to make money, so I'm such miserable state of my life, this month i spent my rent money as well in gambling so i can't pay my rent as well, i really don't know what to do, i'm so ashamed of myself, i cannot remember my life before gambling, i used to go to gym regularly, excersie everyday, study everyday, spend time with my gf, but now for example today since i woke up i started to put in bets, till i now that I'm with zero on my account and feeling absolutely miserable, i don't feel anything in me, if it wasn't because of my parents , i would kill myself, what happened to me, i was such good happy boy, now I'm into this shit i cannot come out of it, i don't have any money remained on me and i don't know what should i do

Long post ahead

I'm 27 (M), single from Philippines. I could say I had a comfortable life. I had a regular job where I earned more than enough for myself. Almost half of my income went to savings. Last time I checked, I had around ₱3.5M in my savings account. Then one day, I saw an ad on Facebook—Bingo Plus. I got curious because the endorsers were big names (Kim Chiu, Piolo, even Vice Ganda all were famous celebs in Ph), so I tried it.

At first, I only played to kill boredom. I bet ₱5, ₱500 at most. Sometimes I’d win, sometimes I’d lose. But I didn’t mind because it entertained me. Then in February, I bought an iPhone 16 Pro Max. I told myself it was a gift since I had been using the same phone for almost 3 years. Not even a week later, it got snatched, and I never recovered it. In short, I wasted over ₱100,000. I was devastated. I didn’t know that was the beginning of my downfall.

I tried to win back the cost of my stolen iPhone through Bingo Plus. From ₱500 bets, it became ₱5,000, ₱10,000, even ₱50,000 per bet. I was able to win it back once, but I didn’t stop. I kept gambling until I started losing non-stop. Before February ended, I had already lost ₱3M. I was super depressed. I reached the point where I wanted to end my life. I even overdosed on Ibuprofen and was hospitalized for 7 days. Then I told myself, once I get discharged, I will stop gambling. Even if I lost my savings, I still had ₱500K left, and thankfully no debt.

But I was stupid... not even a week after leaving the hospital, I went back to my old ways, praying I could recover my losses. I couldn’t sleep. I had no one to talk to because I didn’t want my family to find out—not because they wouldn’t accept me, but because I was ashamed of myself. I didn’t want to tell my friends either because I knew they’d judge me. I completely lost control. I started betting again every day. Eventually, the ₱500K I had left was also gone.

And I still wasn’t done. I maxed out all my credit cards just to keep gambling. And in the end, I still lost. Now I have no savings and ₱600K in credit card debt. For the second time, I wanted to end my useless life. I tried to hang myself, but it’s like God didn’t want to take me yet—the rope snapped. I was hospitalized again.

I was so ashamed—of God, of myself, and of my parents. Because of the overwhelming stress and depression, I thought again of taking my own life. But what made me feel even more guilty was that a part of me wished I had succeeded.

When I got discharged from the hospital, I joined a group call Gamblers Anonymous Ph who help each other to recover gambling addiction by sharing their personal experiences. I attended Zoom meetings every 7 PM, and I was consistent. Somehow, I started to feel lighter, and the urge to gamble slowly faded. I thought I was getting back on track—but I was wrong.

This April 3, my boss invited me to dinner. I joined. Afterward, they went to the casino. I felt cold. This was what I had been trying to avoid. Why does temptation still come even when I’m trying so hard to change? I couldn’t say no to my boss, so I went along. I promised myself I’d just watch—but who was I kidding? What would you expect from a gambler? I relapsed again. I even borrowed money from a colleague just to gamble. That night, I added another ₱200K to my debt.

F*ck. I’m really such a fool. I couldn’t understand my feelings as I drove home—cold, sweaty, shaking. I wasted the effort of the people who tried to help me in the GAP Zoom meetings. I couldn’t control myself. Even alcoholics or drug addicts have limits. But me? I don’t.

No matter how much I pray, I can’t get back what I lost. If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have started this at all.

Today, I sold my car. I used the money to pay off my credit card debt and the money I owed my colleague. This is my punishment—to suffer by commuting. Because I deserve this. Because I was a fool.

I can’t face my parents anymore. When I look in the mirror, I want to punch myself. I feel like such a worthless person.

I’ll try to start again. I don’t know how far I’ll make it, but I hope this is the last time. I hope I can still recover. I hope I can make things right. I hope I finally learn my lesson.

Today, I called Bingo Plus customer service and asked them to deactivate my account. On Monday, I’m planning to file for self-exclusion with PAGCOR.

To everyone else—avoid it while it’s early. I’ve fallen so many times and still haven’t learned. I hope this is the last. I hope my next post here will be about my recovery.

P.S. If I still don’t change, just kill me.

Guys, relapsed again and lost again. I can't pay off these debts on my own. Please suggest a way to commit suicide. It should be painless

I was wondering why do we become delusional while we are in the act but only come back to our senses too late only to find we're in trouble?

Was doing great , relapsed and lost around 800.... I managed to make it back but still lost 200 , for sure it can it be controlled I almost lost it all again , here we go again , posting this for accountability

I am 20M, living in Singapore with a well-to-do family growing up. 3 years ago when I was 17, I started sports betting online and developed a big gambling addiction. At the start, I placed $10 bets which eventually led to me placing $2,000 bets over the years. At one point, I was making quite a lot of money (like $15000 over a week) and life felt so good, I was on top of the world, but that was not sustainable and sooner or later, I lost everything. Over the 3 years, the overall amount I lost was around $70,000. All my savings since 12 years old, My Chinese new year money over the past 15 years and money from the part time jobs I worked were all gone. Even the money that my parents invested for me which was around $20k were all gone too. I stole a lot of money from my parents over the years and pawned their jewelry to fund my addiction. My grades in school were very bad because gambling affected me mentally, emotionally and financially. Every time when I win betting on sports, my profits will eventually be gone from a losing streak, and I would eventually lose everything and all the money from my bank account. I know that I am a selfish asshole towards my family and really a failure in life. I know that I can’t continue gambling if not I would really be poor forever. I need to sit down for a minute and realize how fucking stupid gambling actually is. There is no winning long-term at gambling, I can win 10 nights in a row and I will still lose everything by next month, or year, or 5 years, The odds are mathematically designed to make me lose long-term as there is a house edge on every bet I place, my hard-earned money which I have spent years saving, working, slaving away through the system just for them to steal it through a legal form of addiction. I have really been a disappointment to my parents, and I feel so guilty that they have a fucked-up son like me. I want to change my old ways and stop gambling, stealing and lying to them.

What are some hobbies that I can do to keep my mind away from gambling? I tried journaling and writing my thoughts on a notebook, I tried exercising like running and swimming. I have already deleted all my gambling accounts, gambling authenticator codes and emails associated with it, I even set my bank deposit limit to $100 and change my gambling accounts passwords to a password I don’t know so I could never deposit money into the account or access it ever again. I really want to quit gambling and escape from this hell of an addiction because I feel like it is destroying my life. Please give me some advice, thanks!

Take the money you were gonna gamble and invest it trust me

Gambling is a zero-sum game. Almost all lose, and the consequences regardless of outcome are devastating. Lost relationships, lost identity, lost feelings of joy and interest. Gambling is a path to nowhere.

Additional research on the topic: gambling has highest suicide rate of any addiction (see https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9983450/ - "Those with high-risk gambling behaviors also have an increased risk of suicidality. Eight studies from USA reported that those with GD had the highest suicide rate of any addiction disorder with one in five GD patients having attempted suicide") and states who legalized gambling saw a 28% increase in bankruptcies - https://bretthollenbeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/hollenbeck_sports_gambling.pdf)