Im on day 6 or 7, and like the title says I'm having a hard time reading some posts without rolling my eyes. Its not that im not happy for my fellow alcoholics who have racked up significant sober time or that im unimpressed by the stories, i guess im just struggling to feel happy about my own sobriety and FOMO. I wish so badly that i could be able to have a couple glasses with my dinner and go about my life without the fear of where my binge drinking might take me the following weekend, even if i consciously tell myself there wont be any incidents...

The truth is for so many of us, its just simply not possible. We will ignore, fight, justify, moderate ourselves to DEATH not because we want to, but because this disease will take ahold of you and wont let you go until you've lost everything and everyone you've ever gave a damn about.

With that being said, i will continue to read your stories and hopefully in time wont be rolling my eyes anymore but instead feel gratitude for this second chance. IWNDWYT

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I’m (F28) and after struggling with alcohol all these years since covid - karma finally got me for drink-driving yesterday. I had a moment of wanting to end my life and I drove straight into a tree. I have bruises everywhere, fractured ribs, dislocated shoulder - the works. Further my fiancée broke up with me and we’re still hanging out and having sleepovers as “friends” but I know a situationship when I’m in one. It’s going to be a long fucking ride.

The damages to my (uninsured) car are between 10k-15k. I’ve had no job since January and I’m gunning to get an old job I used to have asap so that I can start repairing the car (it’s my dream car by the way - there’s no way I’m not getting it repaired).

All I know is that I’m never ever touching alcohol again. And that if my and my fiancée ever have a change to get back together again - I need to show her that I can get my shit back together.

As for my mental health - that is deep down in the mariana trench and I see a psychologist every 3 weeks.

What should I do? Any advice? I’m so lost, hurt, and aching both in my heart and overall body. I truly don’t want to be here anymore.

I stopped drinking about 6 months ago. I wasn't having any major issues with it other than occasionally waking up with a headache and I didn't even drink super often (maybe 3-5 nights a month) but I decided to quit when my friend quit. Mostly it was to support her, but I figured it would make me feel better, too.

But it hasn't. When I had a few drinks it was like my anxiety melted away and I felt normal for the first time. My head is constantly full of intrusive thoughts and I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and I'm also Autistic. The thing is, I assumed that not drinking anymore would help all that. Now I'm just... More anxious and sober. Which, don't get me wrong, being sober is a good thing, but now it almost feels like I get no "break" from my constant anxiety and depression. I'm no longer getting enjoyment out of much, and previously when I'd sometimes have a glass of wine or three to unwind at the end of the day, I'd at least relax. Now I just continue to stew in my anxiety, no matter what I do.

I can't afford therapy and my medication only does so much. I'm not going to start drinking again because I ultimately know that it isn't a healthy choice or coping mechanism, but.... When does it get better? Does it?

Hey all, I’ve recently stopped drinking and while I’m proud of this step, I think I might be going through some emotional withdrawals. One of the hardest parts right now is dealing with these resurfacing thoughts, mostly around nights I was blackout drunk, sometimes years ago.

There are incidents I barely remember, especially ones where guys were involved, and it’s really messing with my head. I keep wondering things like:

• Did someone take a photo I wouldn’t want out there?

• Did something happen that I don’t fully remember but would feel ashamed of if I knew?

Even though I know blacking out doesn’t mean I wasn’t conscious or functioning in the moment, it just means my brain didn’t store the memory, I can’t help but spiral. Some of these thoughts are from 6–7 years ago, and I still feel them gripping me now.

I wanted to ask if anyone else, especially women who’ve quit, has been through something like this? How do you cope with the shame, the overthinking, the “what ifs” that come up with sobriety?

This community feels like a safe space, and I’d really appreciate any guidance or even just knowing I’m not alone in this.

Thank you for reading.

I'm 21F and started drinking at 14 y.o, blacking out here and there. Since May of this year when I accidentally drank whilst on painkillers, I have been blacking out like 8/10 times of when I drink. Both of my parents are alcoholics, and I know that this is a symptom of alcoholism, but I honestly do not want to quit drinking all together. I know I can go overboard sometimes and have friends who definitely don't help me cut back, so I will talk to them and ask them to support me. But does anyone have any tips on how to keep drinking/getting drunk without blacking out?

It has been awhile since I have posted, years I think really. I have been sober now for 171 days. But my current work project is finally wearing me down to the point I just want a beer, which I know will be atleast 5 beers. This has been the biggest test of me not drinking. I know where drinking leads, I just want the mind clearing effects to forgot just for a little bit about all the stress with my work project. Thanks for reading, and I will continue to not drink.

I’m doing really well with this. Before, when I was drunk or hung over I privately called alcohol “misery juice” lol. I know I’m doing the right thing and really have reaped a lot of benefits in a relatively short amount of time sober. I feel so much better. But I still want to drink every single day. I didn’t for the first month or so and now it’s like I think about it all the time. The cravings are mild, if you even want to call them cravings. It’s not so much physical just more like a thought or an automatic habit kicking in. It’s not so bad that I’ve ever gotten in the car to go to the store to buy anything. But the thoughts are quite frequent and I find their frequency to be disturbing. I know there’s no one timeline everyone goes through, but they’re starting to really wear me down. I don’t plan on drinking but am feeling demoralized going through this part of things. I read other people’s stories who mention they don’t even think about it after 90-100 days and I wish more than anything that could be me. I’m doing so many things to support myself and stay healthy and sober (not just “dry”). Has anyone else ever been here? Is there anything you would recommend to take my mind off the thoughts? Thank you.  IWNDWYT. 

I'm not sure if any of you remember me. I'm the guy saying I wasn't sure if I was an addicted cuz I didn't directly crave beer or get withdrawal systems. I stopped drinking for like 2 weeks which I hadn't been able to do for a while.

I had a drink the other day which turned into several more and ended up sending out a bunch of weird messages. I thought I could be happy with only one drink, but it just wasn't enough.

The idea of mentally getting away from things with it. But think I messed up some relationships and one day my body.

I think I drank the one because the laundry seemed like a but of a chore. And in the morning I failed to make much progress with my studies. But the rest or in between was okay. I did some stuff and ppl liked some art posts I made on other sites.

Hoping to stay away from a single drink, as I know I'll go spiraling again from just one.

I just wanted to make this post to say I'm gonna try to stay away from drinking again. Even though I failed recently.

I am coming up on 5 months sober and I have achieved this milestone a handful of times before. Something always happens to me between 3-8 months sober and I start plotting, scheming, and eventually relapsing. I can only describe it as a deep disillusionment, emptiness, restlessness, despair...I eventually get to the point where I decide that relapse, and going through the absolute HELL that comes with relapsing, is a better option than to continue feeling this way. I don't think I have any more recovery's in me. I am just so tired. I need some help. I need to know how you all power through? I know all the classics "meetings, prayer, exercise, hobbies, call people, therapy"....I guess I'm hoping for some novel advice. Thank you all. Keep fighting the good fight.

Hello all,

Il start at the beginning. For the last few years I've been living on my own and a breakdown in a 10yr relationship and became a bit of a recluse so I started to try and get out the house and meet new people which led me to the local pub (as i cant play sports anymore due to numerous football injuries) and after i become more of a local I noticed my consumption would go from 2 pints to upto 9 pint and evening 5 times a week.

Fast forward to a few months ago and I started to realise I had a problem so I quit cold turkey and have been sober for over 2 months now and I can honestly say I don't miss it however I've noticed a massive change in my personality.

where I've gone from happy easy going me who will strike up a conversation with anyone (with or without drink), be spontaneous and carefree to certain extent to now I'm back to being more reserved, acting with intention when it comes to my finances and my future and also conscientious about my behaviour and how I conduct myself/how I want to be seen if that makes sense, I've been told I'm more cold and more strat laced which is polar opposite of the old me.

Don't get me wrong I'm acting like I (think) should at 34 and taking things alot more seriously and not being reckless with my health and finaces but worried it will lead to isolation from my real friends who have never known me 100% sober since I was a young teen as I feel like a different person.

I don't know if this is me having to adjust to life without alcohol in my system or this is who I actually was deepdown and the alcohol suppressed that for all this time?

I've found my friendship circle has shrunk back down because the majority of my "friends" i would see regulary were In fact just drinking buddies from the pub and apart from liking a drink we had nothing else in common so I'm going to try other social activities but I wanted to see if anyone else noticed a drastic change in personalities?

Thank you in advance for any insight and advice.

I don't really know how to explain it but I have never liked or enjoyed alcohol yet I still had a drinking problem.

I hated the taste so I either downed it as fast as possible or drank sugary alcopops and cocktails that disguised the taste. I drank to get drunk, clearly, but I don't even like the feeling of being drunk. I really have no idea why I was drinking other than "this is what we do now", but once I started I often couldn't stop. How crazy is that?

And what's even crazier is that very rarely has anyone in my life told me to stop, or questioned what I was doing. Drinking to excess is that normalised.

I hate the feeling of being out of control, so it's almost like I had to get past that tipsy phase of feeling that loss of control washing over me, and pass directly to blackout drunk so I wasn't aware of what I was feeling? I also have social anxiety and probably ADHD so drinking gave me something to do instead of just standing there feeling awkward and wanting to disappear into a black hole.

My sobriety didn't begin with hitting rock bottom, it was just a quiet realisation of "why am i even doing this?". And I now know, happily, that there is no reason, I don't HAVE to do this - I'm free! IWNDWYT 💖

What's the WORST thing about alcohol that has done to you in terms of your health? Reading your stories can be another motivation to quit, for some people.

What I never thought would happen, happened.

I asked my partner a few days ago to get me a crate of AF Peroni as we’re due nice weather and I love a beer in the sun. He went to Morrisons and got me a crate, he got me the first one he saw in the alcohol free section that was Peroni, paid and left. He was in a rush because he gets overstimulated in shops and I was cooking tea. We stuck a couple in the fridge and I forgot about them.

I had one last night but didn’t finish it as I forgot it was there (I have ADHD and this is very common for me, I usually have at least one drink in every room). I went to get another one just now and sat and cracked it open, went to take a swig and noticed that there was nothing saying alcohol free on the neck of the bottle. I thought it was weird and turned it around to look at the back and saw it was 5%, not alcohol free. I’m not ashamed to say I cried and told my partner, and he came and took it away.

I’m devastated. I feel ridiculous for being devastated, but I am. I almost feel a loss? Like my sober time has completely vanished? I had 663 days without a drop of alcohol entering my body and that’s gone now. I’m not resetting my counter because I didn’t ask, want, or consent to alcohol. But it was in my BODY, after so long of it not being in my body.

He’s so sorry, and is blaming himself so much. It’s not his fault, and he would never ever EVER do it on purpose. He has been my biggest advocate and supporter throughout my journey to sobriety, has celebrated every milestone with me, and has kept me going when I didn’t want to. I’ve told him it’s not his fault, and that I do not blame him a single bit.

I’m so thankful I took a second to double check. I’m so thankful that my first instinct was not to ignore it, or pretend I hadn’t seen it, but to get it away from me and come here. I’m so thankful that myself two years ago would not have done the same, but would have pretended not to notice.

I AM 665 days sober today, and tomorrow will be day 666, because IWNDWYT.

I’d love to hear your stories. The good and the bad.

I am early in my sobriety but really wanting to stick with it and be sober and fully present for my wedding in 2 years.

For people who went through PAWS and had the physical problems (dizziness, imbalance, hand-eye coordination issues) how long did it last until it subsided? I've seen a few posts lately about lack of motivation/having like no more serotonin left & it's brought me so much comfort knowing this is a thing. I've been trying to do some working out and I'm increasing that more & more each day (I've been on-and-off for a while but fully sober right now for 5 days).

It just sucks because the imbalance makes me look like I'm intoxicated lol

really contemplating going to the liquor store right now. get some food, have a couple drinks and just watch tv and chill for the rest of the night. sounds so so fun for me. being drunk sounds so good right now.

had such a productive day, ran some errands, went to a dentist appointment, worked out, cleaned my room. did so good all day and now it’s hitting me.

help. i wanna drink so bad.

Recently I’ve been feeling mentally down quite bad and I noticed drinking made me feel abit better and now it’s turned into me drinking vodka maybe once every two days, sometimes for 2,3 days in a row. I feel quite bad because I feel like I’m turning into an alcoholic or something, I get agitated when I’ve not been drinking and I think about drinking quite allot. Can anyone suggest what I should do and if this is bad?

I got a DUI in February and will be losing my license in 30 days. I have never felt so hopeless in my life. I’m so ashamed with myself and not sure if I can keep going. I know I have to deal with the consequences of my actions but this is extremely hard on me mentally. I had wine last night and I’m ashamed about that as well… I think I need to stop drinking.

Hye! Does anyone else have the pdf file of "The secret to staying Sober" by Sonia Green? (For free pls)

Hi, so this year ive cut back on my drinking. Im a social drinker and basically only drink on Saturdays with friends. Id have 6 pints when going out. I used to go out every week or every second week. This year ive cut back , i was sober all of january, drank for some weekends and now ive been sober a month again. I dont sleep any different, i dont notice better mental health. Did i not drink frequently enough to get benefits for quitting, or am i not giving it enough time. Im 29 years old. Thanks in advance!

Yes I realize the irony of posting this question in a literal massively populated online social media platform, but I’m talking about online AA or professional-medically led recovery groups. Do you get tired of attending these weekly? I’ve been in a recovery program with my health care through work since last June, and I’ve had some rocky times this last year (plenty of long stretches of sobriety but some very severe relapses, most recent one was beginning of December so I have a good stretch of being clean rn). But I’m just getting bored now with recovery groups I guess. It feels boring talking about the same topics in a group context and individually with my therapist every other week, like we’re just constantly retreading the same tired ground over and over again - “what habits have you developed since getting sober?’ ‘How have your relationships changed?’ ‘What are some of the obstacles you’ve encountered getting sober?’ Etc etc. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely needed these groups and my program. I owe a great deal of my successful recovery and growth to the therapists who lead these groups and the very compassionate people who attend them (not talking about myself, I mean other people in these groups who express great wisdom and concern), and also the prescribed medication that staves off cravings. I think it just gets repetitious to talk about not drinking all the time and to keep elaborating in the same way on the exact same questions weekly. Granted I whittled down my meetings to just once a week now, but yeah. I feel averse to anything I perceive as reinforcement of the status quo or anything that endorses a bite-less, banal way of life. I know I’ve always tried to avoid the aforementioned via substance abuse. I was indoctrinated and raised within a very toxic and self-hating conservative religious environment, so that engrained in me an early + burgeoning disgust towards violent, coercive societal norms, the sort of stuff that represses and rejects the human spirit’s vivaciousness. This has been reflected for years and years in my own personal artistic interests, friends, what I watch and read, how I treat other people, etc. So, it can be hard when I feel like these groups and my sobriety is leading me back down the path of a life that is too safe, a life where all the rough edges and potential for extremities are smoothed out. The hard-hitting, obscene elements/moments in life can make existence feel so worthwhile to me because it breaks free from pre-established, “acceptable” experiences and behavior. I guess this reminds me too why I always get along better with people who don’t drink or do drugs anymore, but were previously addicted. Because it’s hard for me to vibe with someone if they think things are basically okay the way they are, hence why they likely never went down the destructive path of alcoholism and drug addiction. To me, these people seem like they’re far too accepting and OK with fucked up social/political expectations. Idk where I’m going with all this lol but yeah.

hello, i'm currently a 20 year old living in a house inherited by my dad ( who drank coke whiskey every day), due to my social anxiety and low self esteem, i've started to drink for 2 years. I have a therapist and psycharapist but i still find myself to drink even if my original intention was to sociolize (which now isn't because of my big self esteem even to the size of the internet) i'm kinda stuck and i've tried to end me life in 2023, the whiskey kinda comes back to me. please

Last year when I was 18 I finally got my ID and therefore took advantage of the fact I could go out drinking with friends and buy alcohol. Last October something I did something very bad at a house party after getting black out drunk on vodka and I lost all my friends and I’ve not been able to forgive myself since and it is a cause of extreme self hatred and bad thoughts ever since and I think about it all the time. I didn’t go out drinking again until recently with some family members, and then again with some old friends from school. I promised myself I would never get black out drunk again, but when I went out with the people from school I had one too many drinks and the day after I couldn’t stop crying and having SH and s**cidal thoughts because I may have been embarrassing or overshared too much and I couldn’t deal with the guilt, it took me back to the house party where everything changed for the worse. I definitely don’t drink as much as I used to but I want to stop completely even though I’m only 19. It causes me extreme anxiety every single time and makes me feel like everyone hates me and that I’m a bad person. I want to go to therapy because I can’t get over every time I’ve made a mistake when drunk, even though I know I’m young and bound to make mistakes. I’m a very anxious person as it is and prone to low moods, so I feel very alone in my guilt from things I did when I’m drunk as I no longer have a group of friends and the only person I can talk to about it is my boyfriend as my parents don’t understand. I feel like my bad relationship with alcohol has been passed down to me from my parents as they both still binge drink and do ❄️ and have both done very bad things when drunk. My dad actually gave me ❄️ for the first time and I did it multiple times since then, but not recently as I want to stop doing that kind of thing and it makes me feel disgusting, especially in the company of my own parents who shouldn’t have let me do that. I don’t know why I still deal with awful anxiety from things I did last year, I’m actually crying whilst writing this and I cried in front of my boyfriend yesterday about it and he said I should go to therapy about it if it gets worse but I’m broke and can’t afford to go. He said I should stop worrying what other people think of me and that I need to move on, but I can’t. It’s impossible to move on from awful things I did when I was drunk. I really need help but I don’t know what to do. Luckily I’m moving to another town soon for uni so hopefully this will be a chance for a fresh start to make friends. I know I’m a different person to who I was when I made the mistake at the house party but the fact that I didn’t stop drinking after that makes me feel awful. I should have known better. I feel like my boyfriend is ashamed of what I did since I told him a few months into our relationship even though he always tells me he loves me. I feel so alone. If anyone has any tips on how to stop being so hard on myself about things I did in the past please share.

Been sober for 193 days. Vegas has actually been a blast so far not being completely hammered or trying to cure the hangxiety. Haven’t had much temptation. Also awesome actually making it to meetings I was scheduled for at the convention.